Do We Hang Onto Anxiety?

There's an old proverb that compares anxiety to a man trapped on a rock in the middle of a raging river. He's cold, wet, and miserable, but he hangs onto that rock because he's afraid of being swept away if he lets go. I think this is especially relevant for those of us in withdrawal and recovery. As much as we want to be done with medication and with all the WD symptoms, we're also afraid of what a future without meds and anxiety looks like. Anxiety is a demon, but its a demon we know. The fear can hit us mid-withdrawal, when our anxious minds are telling us we can't recover, and it drives us to do endless Internet searches about symptoms, where we inevitably find stories about other people tried and failed, and it makes us endlessly seek reassurance. It can hit us as we near the end of our tapers, and the anticipatory anxiety of dealing with life without drugs plunges us into the unknown.

But if we don't let go of that rock, we'll be trapped forever. It may seem like a huge struggle to fight the current, but we can also accept by floating with it, confident it will eventually carry us to the shore. Fighting the thoughts and fears will just exhaust us, while accepting that they'll come but refusing to act on them (the essence of ERP coping) is much more effective. Although the first few steps into the river might seem too overwhelming, you'll find your balance and learn to deal with the changes in the current, and recovery will be closer than ever.