I realized today it has been three years since I first went off my Ssri. I was in withdrawal without knowing it so I tried to reinstate at too high of a dose too far out. Since then, I have been counting that as my time. (coming up on 15 months.) really wild to think that it has been three years since I first went off my ssris. (I was happier than I’ve ever been in my life and had just finished grad school. I just no longer wanted to be on a medication and just thought I could always just try and see and go back on if I needed to.)

Comparing my withdrawal symptoms I had the first year to my current symptoms after an insanely terrible reinstament attempt (too high and too far out).

Withdrawal symptoms:

Obcessive thoughts, food, sensitivity, sound sensitivity, light sensitivity, volatile emotions, panic over small things, skin sensitivity, smell sensitivity, absurd reactions and moments of extreme despair. I still had the ability to feel cozy and enjoy things, immensely windows and waves. I could enjoy food and sex immensely. My skin was still pretty amazing and hair moist.

Symptoms during the attempted reinstatement: intense out of body derealization, akathesia, brain burning, intense visuals (these died down a few weeks after as I was on them 11 days total)

Symptoms post reinstatement injury:

Brain burning, visual snow syndrome (insanely debilitating and makes it very difficult to do my work), anhedonia (no longer feel human or have any thoughts or emotions or inner dialogue or creative thought). My brain used to be so active. I used to entertain myself. I also used to feel so many different emotions. Music would hit me so deeply even physically. Now nothing. also no ability to plan or execute tasks. I need to move out my apartment and I just can’t.

Derealization (everything flat and two dimensional) I don’t think I could’ve ever imagined the following symptoms until I experienced them because I studied them in grad school and I thought I knew what they were but I did not until I experienced them. You can truly not know about the above symptoms until you have experienced.

Also, I no longer have the ability to feel cozy.

Extreme physical pain, burning, and creaking, clicking in my joints to the point that I can no longer type, I have to talk to text and walking is becoming more and more painful my hips used to feel strong and they are now made of paper. Extreme dry eyes: I cannot sleep more than a few hours without waking up with them burned and glued shut. Another sometime, (you cannot truly know how horrific it can be until you experience it because you relate to the closest thing you can imagine which is having your eyes dry/itchy.)

Absolutely no sexuality whatsoever or ability to feel orgasm in my head. I can still appreciate food but I do not crave it and I do not get thirsty. Hair dry brittle, skin dry crepey aged.

I do not find a lot of people with these intense of injuries. it is difficult to find success stories as I write this I feel panic in my chest and fuzzy emptiness in my brain. Mornings are worse. I feel so broken beyond repair.

I hope one day I can return to write my success story or to share any improvements. I so badly want my very full amazing life back. Even part of it. To feel human at all.

All of you will heal I strongly believe that I have seen everyone heal and I think that I just stayed in withdrawal I would have healed. I think my injury is very acute. I believe I was kindled and then kept throwing fire on the flame.

I didn’t even mention here, but I also did psilocybin therapy in between before the failed reinstatement and although the symptoms weren’t as bad, I lost a bunch of weight after it and would wake up every morning in panic. It was the main reason I decided to go back on my Ssri.

On 7/8/2026 at 3:16 AM, Redding said:

I do not find a lot of people with these intense of injuries.

I am one of those people, although I have never reinstated an SSRI/SNRI, I did however go through a rather brutal crash/setback early into my recovery from antibiotic and antiviral use.

Before my setback I too had a number of symptoms which seemed to be getting better quite rapidly given how severe my initial acute withdrawal was, but after my setback it was all downhill from there.

It took me a good year if not longer to even feel remotely like my usual baseline before my crash, and even still then my symptoms and overall protracted withdrawal hasn’t been the same since. But I will say though that it DOES get better, and the symptoms DO get reduce and lessen in severity over time. Before my setback I didn’t have PSSD symptoms, I didn’t have sleeping issues, I didn’t have sensitivities to food.

I myself may not be a complete or full recovery and despite my latest rants and deep venting about my struggles I am light years ahead of where I was a couple of years ago, that within its self is a sign that we do eventually heal, it’s just slow and painful.

I had my setback from amoxicillin + famciclovir happened in late 2024 and since then I’ve been able to tolerate amoxicillin + prednisolone without issues.

On 7/9/2026 at 9:04 AM, Jack said:

I am one of those people, although I have never reinstated an SSRI/SNRI, I did however go through a rather brutal crash/setback early into my recovery from antibiotic and antiviral use.

Before my setback I too had a number of symptoms which seemed to be getting better quite rapidly given how severe my initial acute withdrawal was, but after my setback it was all downhill from there.

It took me a good year if not longer to even feel remotely like my usual baseline before my crash, and even still then my symptoms and overall protracted withdrawal hasn’t been the same since. But I will say though that it DOES get better, and the symptoms DO get reduce and lessen in severity over time. Before my setback I didn’t have PSSD symptoms, I didn’t have sleeping issues, I didn’t have sensitivities to food.

I myself may not be a complete or full recovery and despite my latest rants and deep venting about my struggles I am light years ahead of where I was a couple of years ago, that within its self is a sign that we do eventually heal, it’s just slow and painful.

I had my setback from amoxicillin + famciclovir happened in late 2024 and since then I’ve been able to tolerate amoxicillin + prednisolone without issues.

Thank you for weighing in: the thought of ever having to go on antibiotics is my worst nightmare

What do You plan to do in the future etc? Any ideas about alternatives? I want to be prepared.

Also so sorry you went through this

18 hours ago, Redding said:

Thank you for weighing in: the thought of ever having to go on antibiotics is my worst nightmare

What do You plan to do in the future etc? Any ideas about alternatives? I want to be prepared.

Also so sorry you went through this

I have tolerated antibiotics since my setback in late 2024, I’ve been on prednisolone + amoxicillin without much issues, not at least the ones that plagued me during my crash which was only amoxicillin at that time. Prednisolone is MUCH more potent and systemic so if I can handle a short course at a high dose, that’s pretty much good proof that time is certainly a big healer and the nervous system can become much more resilient to handling medications again down the line. Again though, my experience is not everyone’s and some don’t end up having a brutal crash the moment they take amoxicillin or any other antibiotic after a severe withdrawal, some do.

I’d say you just have to weigh up options the best you can and at the end of the day as time goes on, we don’t know if something medically down the line may happen to us where we’ll need potent medications that may save our lives, so I weigh everything up and I had no choice but to take the medication because I developed a bad case of shingles on my face which can be brutal and cause permanent damage. I also didn’t want complications from it afterwards so I made the choice to get on medication knowing the risks.

I’d say because of my recent handlings of prednisolone and amoxicillin I’ll take medication in the future if need be, but only if there’s no other choice.

On 7/7/2026 at 6:16 PM, Redding said:

I realized today it has been three years since I first went off my Ssri. I was in withdrawal without knowing it so I tried to reinstate at too high of a dose too far out. Since then, I have been counting that as my time. (coming up on 15 months.) really wild to think that it has been three years since I first went off my ssris. (I was happier than I’ve ever been in my life and had just finished grad school. I just no longer wanted to be on a medication and just thought I could always just try and see and go back on if I needed to.)

Comparing my withdrawal symptoms I had the first year to my current symptoms after an insanely terrible reinstament attempt (too high and too far out).

Withdrawal symptoms:

Obcessive thoughts, food, sensitivity, sound sensitivity, light sensitivity, volatile emotions, panic over small things, skin sensitivity, smell sensitivity, absurd reactions and moments of extreme despair. I still had the ability to feel cozy and enjoy things, immensely windows and waves. I could enjoy food and sex immensely. My skin was still pretty amazing and hair moist.

Symptoms during the attempted reinstatement: intense out of body derealization, akathesia, brain burning, intense visuals (these died down a few weeks after as I was on them 11 days total)

Symptoms post reinstatement injury:

Brain burning, visual snow syndrome (insanely debilitating and makes it very difficult to do my work), anhedonia (no longer feel human or have any thoughts or emotions or inner dialogue or creative thought). My brain used to be so active. I used to entertain myself. I also used to feel so many different emotions. Music would hit me so deeply even physically. Now nothing. also no ability to plan or execute tasks. I need to move out my apartment and I just can’t.

Derealization (everything flat and two dimensional) I don’t think I could’ve ever imagined the following symptoms until I experienced them because I studied them in grad school and I thought I knew what they were but I did not until I experienced them. You can truly not know about the above symptoms until you have experienced.

Also, I no longer have the ability to feel cozy.

Extreme physical pain, burning, and creaking, clicking in my joints to the point that I can no longer type, I have to talk to text and walking is becoming more and more painful my hips used to feel strong and they are now made of paper. Extreme dry eyes: I cannot sleep more than a few hours without waking up with them burned and glued shut. Another sometime, (you cannot truly know how horrific it can be until you experience it because you relate to the closest thing you can imagine which is having your eyes dry/itchy.)

Absolutely no sexuality whatsoever or ability to feel orgasm in my head. I can still appreciate food but I do not crave it and I do not get thirsty. Hair dry brittle, skin dry crepey aged.

I do not find a lot of people with these intense of injuries. it is difficult to find success stories as I write this I feel panic in my chest and fuzzy emptiness in my brain. Mornings are worse. I feel so broken beyond repair.

I hope one day I can return to write my success story or to share any improvements. I so badly want my very full amazing life back. Even part of it. To feel human at all.

All of you will heal I strongly believe that I have seen everyone heal and I think that I just stayed in withdrawal I would have healed. I think my injury is very acute. I believe I was kindled and then kept throwing fire on the flame.

I didn’t even mention here, but I also did psilocybin therapy in between before the failed reinstatement and although the symptoms weren’t as bad, I lost a bunch of weight after it and would wake up every morning in panic. It was the main reason I decided to go back on my Ssri.

I have no idea if i had a RI injury or if it was just some sort of massive system shock, but I had very severe symptoms like you. I reinstated far too high but I wasn't really off long - 2 or 3 weeks max maybe.

I didn't know what was worse, the withdrawal or the RI shock and I wasn't aware at the time RI injury was a thing so I stuck with it and by the time I found this forum I was showing signs of improvement albiet slow.

Withdrawal: Unable to move much, very heavy body. Intense Flu like symptoms. Cortisol sleep all the time. Gut issues. No appitite I also couldnt feel thirtst, my bf had to make me drink water. Body pain I can't really describe. Constant Head pain. My arms would sieze up to my chest and I couldn't really move them without great effort. Zoning out mid sentence but that could also be attirbuted to major exhaustion. Unable to focus. Cognitive issues. Burning sensations down my arms.

RI: The waves would have a pattern. It'd start with intense feelings of desperation like I needed to claw out of my own skin. I remember grabbing my FIL's arm and begging him to help me. Then id have the withdrawal pains mentioned above and unable to move much. Time felt very very slow. I would lose my appitite and earlier in the journey would vomit at the smell or sight of food. I lost 2 stone in 2 months. I couldn't cry. I'd get the burning sensations if I laughed or did anything that generated too much emotion even listening to my fave music. At one point (which i guess was the peak of things) I felt so bad and I was being gaslit so much into being told it was a nervous breakdown (at this point i still didn't know it was WD) I rang the crisis line and just started screaming hysterically when she told me it was a breakdown and wouldn't listen when I said it was impossible to feel this bad from that. That was the peak of things I think, and after that, thankfully, my waves slowly got weaker and weaker and my windows bigger and I started feeling more like myself. Now, even in a wave, I still have my personality when before, I didn't.

I kept taking that pill at the same time everyday and slowly got better. I don't know if that will work for everyone. Probably not? I don't know.

It was pure hell on earth.

Also to add on RI: Sound and light sensitive. Huge agitation.