Some of you may recognize me from SA, where I mentored for a few years.  

 

My journey began with a single panic attack after giving birth in 1987. Of all things, they prescribed Haldol. If only we had the internet back then. I was later switched to antidepressants and told I needed them like a diabetic needs insulin. That belief led to 39 years on antidepressants, including trials of almost every AD out there and more than 30 years on Effexor. I was never tapered slowly off any of them. As a result, I ended up on antipsychotics, benzos, and z-drugs for years. In 2019, after 23 years of use, my doctor had me CT off 37.5 mg Effexor XR. It nearly destroyed me.

 

What followed would likely be labeled akathisia, though I didn’t have constant pacing. I could no longer work, rarely left home, and was bedridden much of the time. The suicidal urges were intense. They tried to stabilize me by putting me on a merry-go-round of ADs and APs, but none worked. I reinstated Effexor XR six months later after joining SA. I knew it was risky, but I feared I wouldn’t survive otherwise.

 

I reinstated at 10 beads and slowly worked up to 22. Six years later, I’m currently at 5 beads, roughly 1.5 mg. It took about a year to stabilize enough to begin tapering without severe consequences. I then refined my tapering methods after researching how Effexor XR is made. I’ll add a post shortly explaining this in more detail.

 

I’ve had many long holds over the past six years, mostly due to life events that threatened to sideline me. These included a debilitating jaw injury, a TIA, the tragic death of a family member, my husband being diagnosed with cancer, and my own cardiac arrest/asystole in 2024, which doctors determined was caused by an unstable ANS. I often wonder whether the severe CNS/ANS instability from the CT contributed. I share all this to encourage those who fear they won’t survive additional health issues, stress, or even tragedy while in withdrawal. Somehow, our bodies adapt — what an amazing creation we are! I even survived four hours on a dopamine drip while they tried to stabilize my vitals immediately after the arrest. It wasn’t fun, but it didn’t send me back into AKA.

 

Over the years, much has improved. The constant terror is gone. I’m no longer afraid I won’t survive the day. One oddly persistent symptom — the feeling that my head wasn’t firmly attached to my neck — finally disappeared sometime after that first year. Brain fog has mostly lifted. Anxiety is much better, sometimes nonexistent, and the heavy morning doom disappeared completely around 1.5 years out. I can go out, be around people, and even enjoy it — once I get past the lack of motivation to go.

 

Some things are still hard. I’m not the person I was before the CT. I feel diminished in many ways. Anhedonia and lack of motivation remain my most stubborn symptoms. I have to push myself to do things I once enjoyed, and many times the effort just isn’t there. Insomnia continues, though I’ve tapered about two-thirds of my Ambien. My daily stress tolerance is low and follows a windows-and-waves pattern. I also have significant body pain off and on.

 

I’ll stop there for now. Looking forward to being part of this community and helping others along the way.

 

FindRest 🩷🙏

 

 

Link to my SA thread: FindRest: SA Introductory Thread

Edited February 13Feb 13 by FIndRest

Thank you for crossing over and for joining here.

 

You have also quite clearly explained your story, so thank you for that. I hope that while you are here you find this place to be a good source of support with the rest of your taper. Your willingness to help others is also very kind.

 

I hope that one day, you'll feel able to write a success story here.

Incredible story, and I’m so terribly sorry for what you’ve been through and still go through. Thank you for coming here and I look forward to hearing more about your recovery journey moving forward.

Hey @FindRest

 

8 hours ago, FindRest said:

Some of you may recognize me from SA, where I mentored for a few years.  

Thank you for joining here and thanks for all your service on SA and a mentor there 🙂 

 

8 hours ago, FindRest said:

switched to antidepressants and told I needed them like a diabetic needs insulin.

A story as old as time nearly! 😞 

 

8 hours ago, FindRest said:

my doctor had me CT off 37.5 mg Effexor XR. It nearly destroyed me.

Im so sorry. This is awful but not surprising unfortunately.

 

8 hours ago, FindRest said:

I reinstated at 10 beads and slowly worked up to 22. Six years later, I’m currently at 5 beads, roughly 1.5 mg. It took about a year to stabilize enough to begin tapering without severe consequences. I then refined my tapering methods after researching how Effexor XR is made. I’ll add a post shortly explaining this in more detail.

Im so glad this worked for you. I dont know what a lot of us would have done with SA. Im glad it was there for you.

 

8 hours ago, FindRest said:

I often wonder whether the severe CNS/ANS instability from the CT contributed.

You'll never know but the Trauma all this puts on a person I wouldn't be surprised.

 

8 hours ago, FindRest said:

I share all this to encourage those who fear they won’t survive additional health issues, stress, or even tragedy while in withdrawal. Somehow, our bodies adapt — what an amazing creation we are! I even survived four hours on a dopamine drip while they tried to stabilize my vitals immediately after the arrest. It wasn’t fun, but it didn’t send me back into AKA.

Thank you for this. It is a real concern with anyone who has suffered a nervous system injury. It will be so reassuring for many to hear.

 

8 hours ago, FindRest said:

Over the years, much has improved. The constant terror is gone. I’m no longer afraid I won’t survive the day. One oddly persistent symptom — the feeling that my head wasn’t firmly attached to my neck — finally disappeared sometime after that first year. Brain fog has mostly lifted. Anxiety is much better, sometimes nonexistent, and the heavy morning doom disappeared completely around 1.5 years out. I can go out, be around people, and even enjoy it — once I get past the lack of motivation to go.

So good to hear 🙂 The list of symptoms I see, seems to grow daily. There is no part of our systems these drugs don't affect.

 

8 hours ago, FindRest said:

ome things are still hard. I’m not the person I was before the CT. I feel diminished in many ways. Anhedonia and lack of motivation remain my most stubborn symptoms. I have to push myself to do things I once enjoyed, and many times the effort just isn’t there. Insomnia continues, though I’ve tapered about two-thirds of my Ambien. My daily stress tolerance is low and follows a windows-and-waves pattern. I also have significant body pain off and on.

 

I’ll stop there for now. Looking forward to being part of this community and helping others along the way.

 

I hope as time passes you start to feel yourself come back online. Sleep issues are awful arent they. Makes everything else so hard.

 

Thank you for being here, means alot.

 

Chippy

Hey @FindRest,

thanks for sharing your extraordinary story with us. And thank you that you survived all of this. It's great to have you here with us. You have been a stalwart and cornerstone at SA and you will be here.

💙✌️

Edited February 13Feb 13 by Alfred1977

@FindRest love you girl. You are an amazing warrior. 

I am so happy you are here.

I know your experience and understanding of Effexor is such an asset to this community. 

 

Thank you for being you. ❤️🙏

@findrest did you know your reinstatement was helping? Did things worsen at all and then gradually get better or was it an immediate relief type thing? Also did you experience any hypersensitivity prior to stabilizing back on Effexor? 

7 hours ago, Guest Redbird said:

@findrest did you know your reinstatement was helping? Did things worsen at all and then gradually get better or was it an immediate relief type thing? Also did you experience any hypersensitivity prior to stabilizing back on Effexor? 

It’s been 6 years, so I’ll answer this as best as I can. Reinstating was very scary for months. It was not instant relief. I had moments where I knew I felt better, but other large chunks of the day that were terrible. I hung on to the moments of relief along with the encouragement of others who had gone through this before me. It took months before  I began to feel confident in the reinstatement. I slowly updosed, and did feel a bit of relief after each one, followed quickly by a worsening of symptoms. Some updoses brought no relief, but also brought no increase in symptoms. When an updose worsened the symptoms immediately, I knew to proceed with caution. I believe that’s when I finally stopped increasing and just held for months until I stabilized. 
 

I absolutely felt much hypersensitivity prior to stabilizing, but ‘hypersensitivity’ can mean many different things. What are you referring to? 

Edited February 16Feb 16 by FindRest

@FindRest thinking about you. Hope things are settling down. ☺️🙏❤️

Hello, I saw elsewhere you mentioned developing MCAS symptoms How are you doing with those now? Have you had a very restricted diet?