Hello everyone, 

 

I'm SameTree and this is me making the jump from SA like so many of us are doing right now. 

 

You can find my old thread (started July 20 2025) here.

 

I'll copy and paste my first post from SA below, butI'll update it to my current situation. 

 

In 2016, when I was 17 years old, I was suffering from depression as a consequence of bullying and social isolation at school. I started cognitive behavioral therapy and was prescribed Lexapro by a psychiatrist. The starting dose was 10 mg but I later went up to 15 (although I can't remember when exactly). 

In early 2018, after I had graduated from high school and moved to a different city in order to study at university, I decided I was feeling good enough to quit Lexapro. I tapered it down to 0 following the instructions given by my psychiatrist. I now know that the 6 weeks of tapering he recommended were way too short, but back then I had no clue. In the following months and years I suffered badly from protracted withdrawal and it had a huge negative impact on my life. At the time, though, I had no idea what was wrong with me. I thought I'd developed a new mental illness, something akin to Generalized Anxiety Disorder, so I once again started cognitive behavioral therapy in 2019. I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder (I did suffer from panic attacks back then, but they never really scared me since I know they were harmless and I just waited for them to go away). Since neither me nor my therapist at the time had any idea what was really going on, I completed therapy without any real progress. 

In 2021, I went through an especially brutal wave of withdrawal symptoms and decided that whatever it was I was suffering from, I was going to do anything I could do leave it behind and get my old life back. One of these things was getting back on Lexapro. I still didn't know that I was dealing with withdrawal, I just thought Lexapro might help me with the anxiety I was experiencing. After all, even though it was hard to tell, it might have helped me with my depression a few years ago, so why shouldn't it work again? I got an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist at a local hospital and he gave me a prescription for Lexapro as well as for Mirtazapine which he said would help me get better sleep. Within a few weeks after reinstating Lexapro at 10 mg, my symptoms were gone. It was like flicking a switch. And still I didn't make the connection which seems so glaringly obvious in hindsight. Instead, I explained the sudden disappearance of my symptoms with me starting a new chapter in life, moving to a different city again and starting my master's degree. I also thought my newfound fighting spirit and determination to enjoy life again might have helped. 

During the entirety of 2022 I was doing great. So great, that in June of that year, I tried quitting Lexapro again. I went down to 5 mg but suddenly felt more stressed and anxious again, so my psychiatrist recommended I keep taking it for a year or so until I try getting off it again. I went up to 10 mg again and my symptoms disappeared. 

In February of 2023 I decided it was once again time to quit Lexapro for good. Initially, I wanted to try to taper it down to zero over the course of 12 weeks, which I thought was going to be enough. But when I went to visit my girlfriend with whom I was in a long-distance relationship at the time, I forgot the pills at home and decided to just quit cold turkey. After all, what was the worst that could happen? My doctors had told me about the so-called SSRI discontinuation syndrome, and it seemed more than managable. Two two three weeks of a mild headache or vertigo seemed like a small price to pay. At worst, I'd go through a short period of feeling a bit sick, and then I'd be rid of the drugs forever — or so I thought. But of course I was wrong.

What followed were the worst two weeks of my life. I've tried again and again, but I just can't find the right words to describe what I went through. If you've been through acute withdrawal, I don't need to explain it to you. Without my family and my wonderful girlfriend who did everything they could to support me, I don't know if I would have made it. It was hell. And it finally made me do some research. I found this site and started understanding what I was going through. I reinstated Lexapro at 8 mg and, over the course of many months, I slowly stabilized. I also started taking magnesium and Omega 3 for nervous system support. I then decided to taper very carefully, at a maximum of 10% of my last stable dose every 4 weeks, as recommended by this community. However, I ended up taking much more time to hold between reductions since I was and still am suffering from regular waves of symptoms, especially when anything even remotely stressful happens, and since I'm young and still figuring out what I want to do with my life, there's a lot of turmoil in it.

I am now at 3.5 mg after having to updose from 2.8 mg to 3.0 mg and then from 3.0 mg to 3.5 mg since my last two waves were really bad. I recently started a new job — my first "real" one after graduating from university — and it's not been great for my healing journey. Ever since my first day at work I've been experiencing waves the likes of which I haven't seen in quite a while. When I'm in a wave, I somehow try to make it through 8 hours of anxiety, agitation and chaos in my head at the office and then fall apart completely when I get home. I usually cry for the rest of the day until I fall asleep. The next day it just happens all over again. Sometimes I cry at work, hiding in the bathroom or outside a few blocks away during lunch break. The other day things got so bad that I had a panic attack at the office and had to call in sick for the rest of the day. The next day was the day I increased my dosage to 3.5 mg and the symptoms started getting better almost immediately. For now, I'm going to wait a few months, take good care of myself and see if I can stabilize. It certainly feels like I'm undoing a lot of progress, but the symptoms are unbearable and I understand that it's better to take a step back and go slower than to risk further destabilizing my nervous system.

 

I'm now doing better than I was when I wrote the text above, but I'm still struggling. I had to increase my Lexapro dose to 4.0 mg in September in order to alleviate withdrawal symptoms and haven't changed it since. I was doing quite well in October and November with comparatively little symptoms, but December was a lot more difficult and the worst month since August in terms of average symptom severity, though I'm not sure why. On SA, it's recommended not to begin or continue a taper if you're in a difficult situation in life, and that might very well apply to me. I don't like the town I live in, I don't like my job and I'm almost entirely socially isolated. I'm looking to change all of that in 2026, but until then, I don't think I should reduce my dose any further. Next year, I'll try to prioritize my wellbeing and my health more and try to get support from a therapist as well.

 

Thank you to everyone who read this. I'm going to do my best to post regular updates.

Welcome to the forum, SameTree.

 

I am the Recovery Assistant Bot and I am here to post some information for you whilst we await replies from other members.

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications. If you are experiencing an adverse reaction to them, withdrawal difficulties or are injured by them, we are very sorry to hear this and will do what we can to help you.

 

While we are waiting for human members to reply, there are some things you can do that will help you get the most out of this forum whilst you await further support.

 

Please familiarise yourself with the forum rules and the disclaimer located here:

https://antidepressantrecovery.org/misc.php?action=help

 

Please update your signature. This will allow members to see some basic information about your drug history and situation so that they may help you best. Information on how to do this is located in the guides linked above, but here is a direct link:

https://antidepressantrecovery.org/misc.php?action=help&hid=8

 

Once this is done, future posts made by you will have this signature turned on by default.

 

If you have migrated here from "SurvivingAntidepressants" feel free to post a link to your old thread in this one, or include it in your signature.

 

We hope that you will find this forum helpful.

Hi SameTree

 

Welcome to the forum!

 

Thank you for such a detailed first post. Excellent work!

 

If you could update your signature with your drug history that would be great!

 

I'm so sorry for what you have been through over the years. An all too common story of WD being missed by Doctors and mistaken for relapse. Quite the journey.

 

I hear what you said in your OG post about being young and all the pressure this brings.

 

I think a nice hold is a sensible idea. Good to be both stable in your WD symptoms but also in your life. Sounds like you have a plan for improving your current situation which can only help position you to continue your taper when you feel ready. Slow and easy. Much better than having to jump around with doses potentially upsetting the CNS further. I like your plan I would do the same. 

 

Some find 10% of the previous dose too fast still. It's just a guide not a rule. Listen to your body, it will tell you.

 

Great to have you here and please do keep us up to date with how you are. 

 

Speak soon

 

Chippy

Hey Chippy,

 

first of all, thank you for the quick reply! I can see there's a lot going on on the forum right now and I greatly appreciate your work as a moderator!

 

If you could update your signature with your drug history that would be great!

Sure! I thought I had to do it under Profile > Signature at first and was confused it didn't give me the option to enter anything, but I found the correct setting now. 

I hear what you said in your OG post about being young and all the pressure this brings.

I think a nice hold is a sensible idea. Good to be both stable in your WD symptoms but also in your life. Sounds like you have a plan for improving your current situation which can only help position you to continue your taper when you feel ready. Slow and easy. Much better than having to jump around with doses potentially upsetting the CNS further. I like your plan I would do the same. 

Some find 10% of the previous dose too fast still. It's just a guide not a rule. Listen to your body, it will tell you.

Thank you for your advice and encouragement. Some days/weeks/months are rough, but tomorrow can always be the day it gets better. In withdrawal, as we all know, anything is possible.

 

See you!

Hi SameTree,

 

Another Lexapro victim here. You’ve probably noticed too now how powerful that drug really is and how doctors often seem completely unaware of what it can actually do to people. It’s a good thing you found these pages and didn’t rush into trying a new medication cocktail!

 

I’m in a slightly different situation than you, as I’ve already stopped the medication completely, but I’m experiencing something similar: this December has been just as hard as things were back in August. But of course, this process can be very random and the next month isn’t necessarily better than the previous one. I know how incredibly heavy and exhausting this is, but remember that you will eventually recover from this.

 

Wishing you a happy New Year already - let’s hope it will be much kinder than this one.

Hey Chippy,

 

first of all, thank you for the quick reply! I can see there's a lot going on on the forum right now and I greatly appreciate your work as a moderator!

 

If you could update your signature with your drug history that would be great!

Sure! I thought I had to do it under Profile > Signature at first and was confused it didn't give me the option to enter anything, but I found the correct setting now. 

I hear what you said in your OG post about being young and all the pressure this brings.

I think a nice hold is a sensible idea. Good to be both stable in your WD symptoms but also in your life. Sounds like you have a plan for improving your current situation which can only help position you to continue your taper when you feel ready. Slow and easy. Much better than having to jump around with doses potentially upsetting the CNS further. I like your plan I would do the same. 

Some find 10% of the previous dose too fast still. It's just a guide not a rule. Listen to your body, it will tell you.

Thank you for your advice and encouragement. Some days/weeks/months are rough, but tomorrow can always be the day it gets better. In withdrawal, as we all know, anything is possible.

 

See you!

My pleasure. It's great to have you here as I said. You're right tomorrow can always be better! One to remember.

 

Chippy

Thank you for joining.

Another Lexapro victim here. You’ve probably noticed too now how powerful that drug really is and how doctors often seem completely unaware of what it can actually do to people. It’s a good thing you found these pages and didn’t rush into trying a new medication cocktail!

 

Believe me, I have noticed that. The guidelines about tapering Lexapro on SA state that going CT off this drug is "like throwing your brain of a cliff" and I can attest to that.

 

I’m in a slightly different situation than you, as I’ve already stopped the medication completely, but I’m experiencing something similar: this December has been just as hard as things were back in August. But of course, this process can be very random and the next month isn’t necessarily better than the previous one. I know how incredibly heavy and exhausting this is, but remember that you will eventually recover from this.

 

Wishing you a happy New Year already - let’s hope it will be much kinder than this one.

 

I wish the same to you! For all I know, recovery can be very random and sometimes things get worse for a while before they get better. But we're all going to make it. 

 

Thank you for joining.

 

Thank you for setting up the site!

Hi SameTree,

Just dropping by to introduce myself. It’s good to see that you have a positive outlook with your different struggles. We do our best with each new day as it comes. We can all have a good moan or cry yet coping with what is vs wishing what wasn’t  can make for a better day.  

And staying put for a while on Lexapro until you feel better is probably better than forcing anything. 

Take care, Namastejen

Thank you for joining.

 

Thank you for setting up the site!

 

You're very welcome. Thanks should also go to Chippy for being instrumental in getting this place functioning well.

 

 

The absolute best thanks you could give me, is getting better and one day writing your success story here. I would like that very much.

Just dropping by to introduce myself. It’s good to see that you have a positive outlook with your different struggles. We do our best with each new day as it comes. We can all have a good moan or cry yet coping with what is vs wishing what wasn’t  can make for a better day.  

 

Hey Namastejen, nice to meet you! I sometimes find it hard not to mourn all the years lost to withdrawal, but you're right of course. It doesn't make one's day any better.

 

The absolute best thanks you could give me, is getting better and one day writing your success story here. I would like that very much.

 

I will do so. Hold me to it.

Hello everyone, 

 

I just wanted to post a quick update on how I'm doing. Fortunately, January was a much better month than December, both physically and mentally. I'm still on 4.0 mg and I don't see myself changing that anytime soon. I'm also still looking for a therapist, but it looks like that's going to take a while. Other than that, there's not much to report. I guess that's a good thing. 

See you
SameTree

15 minutes ago, SameTree said:

Hello everyone, 

 

I just wanted to post a quick update on how I'm doing. Fortunately, January was a much better month than December, both physically and mentally. I'm still on 4.0 mg and I don't see myself changing that anytime soon. I'm also still looking for a therapist, but it looks like that's going to take a while. Other than that, there's not much to report. I guess that's a good thing. 

See you
SameTree

Hey SameTree Good to hear things are going ok for you. Nice to see January was a better month. 🙂 

6 hours ago, SameTree said:

Fortunately, January was a much better month than December, both physically and mentally.

 

I'm pleased to hear that.

 

Thank you for the update.

14 hours ago, SameTree said:

Hello everyone, 

 

I just wanted to post a quick update on how I'm doing. Fortunately, January was a much better month than December, both physically and mentally. I'm still on 4.0 mg and I don't see myself changing that anytime soon. I'm also still looking for a therapist, but it looks like that's going to take a while. Other than that, there's not much to report. I guess that's a good thing. 

See you
SameTree

Great to hear you are stabilizing, good thing to hold the dose until things are brighter, something I should have done before but we learn as we go.

Hopefully things will improve even more for you as time goes, take good care.

 

On 12/31/2025 at 4:55 AM, SameTree said:

Thank you to everyone who read this. I'm going to do my best to post regular updates.

Thank you for sharing your story. 4mg sounds like the sweet spot for you right now. Like you I too am going to try and post regularly. 

Thanks to all of you! I'm very grateful for the support this community offers. 

 

Again, I don't have much to report regarding withdrawal in February. I'm remarkably stable at the moment (still on 4.0 mg), especially considering the fact that there's a lot of stress in my private life right now. Unfortunately, a close relative of mine received a very serious and potentially life-threatening diagnosis just a few weeks ago. This of course came as a shock to me and my entire family, and since then I've been travelling up and down the country between where I live and where my family lives in order to support them. At the same time, as I've mentioned before, my girlfriend and I are looking to move to a different city this year and should start looking for an apartment soon. It's a lot, really, but again, I'm doing okay. 

I've also contacted an outpatient clinic here in Germany which helps people in SSRI withdrawal back in January. They asked for some medical documents which I sent them, but I haven't heard back from them so far. I was planning to call them some time soon, but with everything I got going on right now, it might take a while.

Thanks again to every single one of you!

See you
SameTree

Hey @SameTree

 

11 hours ago, SameTree said:

I'm remarkably stable at the moment (still on 4.0 mg)

This is great to hear. Thanks for checking in. 
 

11 hours ago, SameTree said:

Unfortunately, a close relative of mine received a very serious and potentially life-threatening diagnosis just a few weeks ago.

I’m so sorry, I hope this works out ok in the end. Life doesn’t stop whilst we heal/taper does it. My best wishes with this. 
 

11 hours ago, SameTree said:

girlfriend and I are looking to move to a different city this year and should start looking for an apartment soon. It's a lot, really, but again, I'm doing okay. 

Good luck finding a new place. 
 

11 hours ago, SameTree said:

might take a while.

Same here in the uk!

 

Anything we can do just say. 
 

Chippy