I have been on various types of SSRIs for over 24 years now since I was 19.

I tried to unsuccessfully taper several times (more than five times) during my history of drugs usage. Every single time I had to reinstate back due to severe withdrawal symptoms.

After some thorough reaserch I discovered the hyperbolic method of tapering and decided to give it a try at the start of this year.

I started by reducing 2mg of Lexapro (escitalopram) from 20mg, dose I was taking for over 2years prior. Because it was going so well after two months of the taper, and I felt really good I decided not to reduce the dose by 10% but remain at reducing by 2mg a month (it was easier) till I reached 14mg in March.  This was probably a huge mistake, but I never felt any withdrawal symptoms after each of the reductions. Everything went smoothly. Then I reduced the dose by 1mg every month starting from 14mg.

At the end of May I started to feel mild withdrawal symptoms, anger issues, anhedonia, irritability but nothing serious. I decided then to continue going down by 1mg a month. My symptoms persisted but never developed into anything serious. So I went down by 1mg till I reached 10mg.

What I believe is that my withdrawal symptoms stacked and by the end of July I was feeling worse and worse. Every day a new low, and what was the worst was the ANXIETY.

All the symptoms were bearable but when anxiety crept in, my life began to crumble really fast. I panicked and decided to updose to 12mg. After two days the worst symptoms subsided but it was still very uncomfortable. After consulting with my therapist I updosed again to 14mg after one week, and yet again it took the worst edge of the bad symptoms I was experiencing. The uncomfortable feeling unfortunately took its roots and the anxiety was present 24/7. Two days ago I was desperate and updosed a final time to 15mg but didn’t notice any significant improvement.

I am scared and need your help very much. Why have the withdrawal symptoms compounded and waited till the end of July to hit me all at once with full force? Why didn’t I feel anything after each reduction? Even my last reduction from 11mg to 10mg in July didn’t bring anything spectacular I was coping just fine.

All the withdrawal symptoms started at the end of July when I was preparing for a further reduction to 9mg and it was so unexpected and brutal. I was going so slowly and listened to my body and mind. Maybe I reduced the dose a little bit too fast between 16 and 14mg but then I slowed down to 1mg a month for 4 consecutive months.

Is there an explanation why the things transpired this way and what should I do now? I really want to feel well in my brain again, I can’t work nor take proper care of myself and I am very scared.

Please help me, what do you think I should do, should I hold 15mg or updose again till I feel ok?

I really am looking forward to your replies and support.

Edited August 20Aug 20 by Alkorin

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawal syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

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I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

2 hours ago, Alkorin said:

I started by reducing 2mg of Lexapro (escitalopram) from 20mg, dose I was taking for over 2years prior. Because it was going so well after two months of the taper, and I felt really good I decided not to reduce the dose by 10% but remain at reducing by 2mg a month (it was easier) till I reached 14mg in March.  This was probably a huge mistake, but I never felt any withdrawal symptoms after each of the reductions. Everything went smoothly. Then I reduced the dose by 1mg every month starting from 14mg.

As you know, this was unfortunately a bit too fast. We generally recommend tapering at a speed of no more than 10% of your previous dose per month: Tapering Information.

3 hours ago, Alkorin said:

At the end of May I started to feel mild withdrawal symptoms, anger issues, anhedonia, irritability but nothing serious. I decided then to continue going down by 1mg a month. My symptoms persisted but never developed into anything serious. So I went down by 1mg till I reached 10mg.

What I believe is that my withdrawal symptoms stacked and by the end of July I was feeling worse and worse. Every day a new low, and what was the worst was the ANXIETY.

It can be quite risky to taper through withdrawal symptoms. I think you are right that your symptoms unfortunately stacked and led you to crash. We usually recommend that if you start feeling withdrawal symptoms you wait to stabilize before tapering further. Generally your symptoms should be no more than a 1-3/10 in severity (10 being very severe) for a consistent period before making any further cuts.

3 hours ago, Alkorin said:

I am scared and need your help very much. Why have the withdrawal symptoms compounded and waited till the end of July to hit me all at once with full force? Why didn’t I feel anything after each reduction? Even my last reduction from 11mg to 10mg in July didn’t bring anything spectacular I was coping just fine.

All the withdrawal symptoms started at the end of July when I was preparing for a further reduction to 9mg and it was so unexpected and brutal. I was going so slowly and listened to my body and mind. Maybe I reduced the dose a little bit too fast between 16 and 14mg but then I slowed down to 1mg a month for 4 consecutive months.

It's hard to say why this happened, but as you described you were tapering through some withdrawal symptoms that popped up starting at the end of May. It would likely have been best to stop tapering when these symptoms started and hold for a bit to stabilize. But all is not lost, you can still stabilize where you are and then resume your taper when you're feeling better.

3 hours ago, Alkorin said:

Is there an explanation why the things transpired this way and what should I do now? I really want to feel well in my brain again, I can’t work nor take proper care of myself and I am very scared.

Please help me, what do you think I should do, should I hold 15mg or updose again till I feel ok?

You have already updosed by 50%, so I don't think you should go up any further. Unfortunately once our nervous system is destabilized, there is often no quick solution.

From what you have said, it sounds like the updosing has helped a little bit, and has at least not made you feel worse, so I would hold here until you stabilize. It may take a while, but stability will come. Tagging @Chippy here in case he disagrees with my advice -- he is very wise!

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, I know too well how scary it can be. Please know that this is not forever and you can find stability again. In the meantime, it will be important to practice coping skills like acceptance: Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

 

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

Edited August 20Aug 20 by SarahMc

Hey @Alkorin Welcome to the forum. I am very sorry to hear of your tricky taper. Unfortunately you tapered too fast and tapered with WD symptoms. WD symptoms can stack so this could be the issue, however tapering with WD symptoms causes harm from what is observed in the community.

Updosing can help address some WD, it can make things worse, it is a great sign that things have not worsened for you with the updose, I would agree with Sarah and hold here though for as long as it takes for things to settle down.

It isn't just about your brain missing a certain level of the drug, which updosing can fix, there will likley be some nervous system bruising/injury here, so you'll need some time for that to start to heal, and future tapers (when symptoms are mild which could be some time yet to come) you will need to be much more cautious and listen to your body. It is better to taper carefully and be functional than rush off and cause more harm to yourself.

Glad you found us, we are all here for you and understand.

Chippy

@Alkorin Im a fellow Lexapro taperer. For what it’s worth, in my own taper I’ve learned that even if my symptoms were manageable for each individual reduction, eventually making multiple reductions in a row caused me to eventually hit the proverbial wall. Each time I hit that wall, I stopped tapering until I had enough resilience to continue. For me, this period was 3-10 months. I’m in one of those holds right now (3 months and counting). Since I know my system is kindled, I have done everything I can to avoid updosing as for me it’s the changes (up or down) that cause the instability, not the absolute level of the drug. Everyone is different, so you’ll have to decide what you can tolerate or if you need to updose to get to a place of stability more quickly.

Just so you know, what you’re experiencing is so common it actually has a name (stacking). I hope you stabilize soon.