Hi there. I'm quite nervous to write this because my sister is a moderator on this site and I know it's a really important space for her. She encouraged me to share to try to feel less alone.

My story is incredibly long, but I'll try to share just the more relevant part of it for now.

While in a crisis state, with both my physical and mental health deteriorating, I was put on an increasingly high dose of Ativan to "control the anxiety" by my (then) psychiatrist. This dose eventually amounted to over 25 mg/daily. I do not remember consenting to this, and I know definitively I was not informed as to the massive risks this medication AND such an astronomical dose posed to my health and wellbeing. My psychiatrist repeated to me and my family that benzodiazepines were not dangerous and that they did not cause addiction.

A short time after this max dose was reached, I ended up in hospital following what can only really be described as a complete deterioration of my body and mind: I lost the ability to walk, climb stairs, then even get out of bed, as well as the ability to speak or communicate my wishes. I was admitted to hospital in a comatose state with double pneumonia. Throughout this hospital stay, which was about six weeks, they weaned me from 26 to 15 mg of ativan/lorazepam. I was discharged from hospital at the end of August 2025, and from then to now have weaned from 15 to 0.5/mg daily. I went too fast, because I didn't have any professional guidance on how to do this.

I'm really struggling, and it's starting to feel like there will never be an end to this. I'm experiencing nausea, loss of appetite, hot and cold flashes, dissociation, feelings of being unreal/in a sort of dream, tremors, nightmares, night sweats, rashes on my skin (in the winter I came down with rheumatic fever, which I have been told also plays a part in the skin inflammation), dizziness, confusion, trouble concentrating, tremors, and feelings of dread. There's probably more but this is what I currently associate with the withdrawal/drug injury.

I'm scared it will never get better, that I will never feel real again or look like normal people or be able to read without effort. I'm scared this medication caused permanent neurological damage, and there's no hope for me.

I eat healthier than I ever have in my life (though not enough, because of the above-mentioned nausea) and I swim and walk outside every day.

Thank you for listening, and I do apologize if this was overly long.

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawl syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

Please familiarise yourself with the forum rules and the disclaimer located here: Guidelines

 

Thank you for updating your signature.

1 hour ago, baabymay said:

Hi there. I'm quite nervous to write this because my sister is a moderator on this site and I know it's a really important space for her. She encouraged me to share to try to feel less alone.

I hope that in time that you feel that this site has been a supportive and helpful space for you, and that coming here no longer makes you feel nervous. You'll certainly find others who are going through similar things to you, who will be able to relate to your story. 

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind. It's good that you've been doing this and swimming.

1 hour ago, baabymay said:

I'm scared it will never get better, that I will never feel real again or look like normal people or be able to read without effort. I'm scared this medication caused permanent neurological damage, and there's no hope for me.

I think that there is hope. You're still taking the benzo, and it sounds like at the lower doses than you were at before you're suffering significant withdrawal symptoms but have regained a reasonable amount of physical function, judging by how bad you were at the high dose.

I think for specific tapering advice we'd need to discuss more details on how you've felt when cutting doses vs. how you felt at the higher one, and I'm not the foremost tapering expert so I'd be looking for advice from some of the rest of the team here.

However, I do want to emphasise that I think that there is hope that once you come off of it (as safely as you can) that you will begin to recover from the withdrawal symptoms and that you are not permanently harmed

You have absolutely no need to apologise, you are very welcome here and again I hope that you find this site supportive.

4 hours ago, baabymay said:

Hi there. I'm quite nervous to write this because my sister is a moderator on this site and I know it's a really important space for her. She encouraged me to share to try to feel less alone.

My story is incredibly long, but I'll try to share just the more relevant part of it for now.

While in a crisis state, with both my physical and mental health deteriorating, I was put on an increasingly high dose of Ativan to "control the anxiety" by my (then) psychiatrist. This dose eventually amounted to over 25 mg/daily. I do not remember consenting to this, and I know definitively I was not informed as to the massive risks this medication AND such an astronomical dose posed to my health and wellbeing. My psychiatrist repeated to me and my family that benzodiazepines were not dangerous and that they did not cause addiction.

A short time after this max dose was reached, I ended up in hospital following what can only really be described as a complete deterioration of my body and mind: I lost the ability to walk, climb stairs, then even get out of bed, as well as the ability to speak or communicate my wishes. I was admitted to hospital in a comatose state with double pneumonia. Throughout this hospital stay, which was about six weeks, they weaned me from 26 to 15 mg of ativan/lorazepam. I was discharged from hospital at the end of August 2025, and from then to now have weaned from 15 to 0.5/mg daily. I went too fast, because I didn't have any professional guidance on how to do this.

I'm really struggling, and it's starting to feel like there will never be an end to this. I'm experiencing nausea, loss of appetite, hot and cold flashes, dissociation, feelings of being unreal/in a sort of dream, tremors, nightmares, night sweats, rashes on my skin (in the winter I came down with rheumatic fever, which I have been told also plays a part in the skin inflammation), dizziness, confusion, trouble concentrating, tremors, and feelings of dread. There's probably more but this is what I currently associate with the withdrawal/drug injury.

I'm scared it will never get better, that I will never feel real again or look like normal people or be able to read without effort. I'm scared this medication caused permanent neurological damage, and there's no hope for me.

I eat healthier than I ever have in my life (though not enough, because of the above-mentioned nausea) and I swim and walk outside every day.

Thank you for listening, and I do apologize if this was overly long.

Welcome to AR....glad you joined. It is really important to get support from others that understand.

How many times in the day do you take your lorazepam? It has a half life of 12 hours so taking it twice a day prevent s nterdose withdrawal. Do you know what dates you dropped your doses? When was the last time you reduced the lorazepam and by how much?

Right now, getting stable is more important than cessation. Your body needs time to catch up with the changes in dosage.

Could you please add start dates to.the other drugs you are currently on? Thanks. ❤️🙏

Edited August 30Aug 30 by LostinCanada

Dear @baabymay

5 hours ago, baabymay said:

encouraged me to share to try to feel less alone.

I've heard it said that a problem shared is a problem halved. It's good to share with others who understand.

5 hours ago, baabymay said:

do not remember consenting to this, and I know definitively I was not informed

I suspect most of us did not provide informed consent! I certainly didn't.

5 hours ago, baabymay said:

My psychiatrist repeated to me and my family that benzodiazepines were not dangerous and that they did not cause addiction.

Staggering, isn't it?

I've learnt on this journey that I needed to educate and advocate for myself. The fact that you are here shows that you are starting that process, too. Well done.

5 hours ago, baabymay said:

they weaned me from 26 to 15 mg of ativan/lorazepam.

Have you seen this withdrawal symptom checklist?

https://media.invisioncic.com/r138344/pages_media/1491703620_WDchecklist.pdf?_cb=1733760981

5 hours ago, baabymay said:

I'm experiencing nausea, loss of appetite, hot and cold flashes, dissociation, feelings of being unreal/in a sort of dream, tremors, nightmares, night sweats, rashes on my skin (in the winter I came down with rheumatic fever, which I have been told also plays a part in the skin inflammation), dizziness, confusion, trouble concentrating, tremors, and feelings of dread.

What you describe sounds like some of the things on this withdrawal checklist above.

5 hours ago, baabymay said:

I'm scared it will never get better, that I will never feel real again or look like normal people or be able to read without effort. I'm scared this medication caused permanent neurological damage, and there's no hope for me.

I remember that feeling. I thought I'd never get off the drugs and never be 'normal' again. I'm only AlmostOff at the moment, but I can confirm that you can and will recover. It just takes time, a lot of patience, support from those who have walked in your shoes, and a very slow taper, once you are stable.

5 hours ago, baabymay said:

I do apologize if this was overly long.

It can be hard to document how we feel with these drugs, especially after significant changes. I thought what you wrote was quite succinct! Well done for that, too.

1 hour ago, LostinCanada said:

Do you know what dates you dropped your doses

1 hour ago, LostinCanada said:

Could you please add start dates to.the other drugs you are currently on?

The volunteers will be in a better position to help you with the dates and doses for changes relating to all the drugs you take. When you started, increased, decreased etc.

1 hour ago, LostinCanada said:

Right now, getting stable is more important than cessation. Your body needs time to catch up with the changes in dosage.

So true.

The people here will guide you in the right direction.

You are going to be ok.

Hey @baabymay Welcome to the site, glad you made it here, you'll find lots of folk who understand for sure!

Can I ask which staff on here is your sister?

As others have said please update your signature so we can better understand your Benzo reductions.

Chippy

On 8/30/2026 at 6:44 PM, LostinCanada said:

Welcome to AR....glad you joined. It is really important to get support from others that understand.

How many times in the day do you take your lorazepam? It has a half life of 12 hours so taking it twice a day prevent s nterdose withdrawal. Do you know what dates you dropped your doses? When was the last time you reduced the lorazepam and by how much?

Right now, getting stable is more important than cessation. Your body needs time to catch up with the changes in dosage.

Could you please add start dates to.the other drugs you are currently on? Thanks. ❤️🙏

I reduced the lorazepam last on July 30th from .75 mg total daily (.5 at lunch and .25 at bedtime) to .5 total (.25 at lunch and .25 at bedtime).

I'm scared my WD symptoms are just getting worse and not better.

I will attempt to change my signature to be more clear about the other meds. My brain is not working properly so if it doesn't work I apologize!

On 8/30/2026 at 8:35 PM, AlmostOff said:

Dear @baabymay

I've heard it said that a problem shared is a problem halved. It's good to share with others who understand.

I suspect most of us did not provide informed consent! I certainly didn't.

Staggering, isn't it?

I've learnt on this journey that I needed to educate and advocate for myself. The fact that you are here shows that you are starting that process, too. Well done.

Have you seen this withdrawal symptom checklist?

https://media.invisioncic.com/r138344/pages_media/1491703620_WDchecklist.pdf?_cb=1733760981

What you describe sounds like some of the things on this withdrawal checklist above.

I remember that feeling. I thought I'd never get off the drugs and never be 'normal' again. I'm only AlmostOff at the moment, but I can confirm that you can and will recover. It just takes time, a lot of patience, support from those who have walked in your shoes, and a very slow taper, once you are stable.

It can be hard to document how we feel with these drugs, especially after significant changes. I thought what you wrote was quite succinct! Well done for that, too.

The volunteers will be in a better position to help you with the dates and doses for changes relating to all the drugs you take. When you started, increased, decreased etc.

So true.

The people here will guide you in the right direction.

You are going to be ok.

Thank you. I'm really scared. I really appreciate your kind words.

Edited September 4Sep 4 by Lighty

56 minutes ago, baabymay said:

I reduced the lorazepam last on July 30th from .75 mg total daily (.5 at lunch and .25 at bedtime) to .5 total (.25 at lunch and .25 at bedtime).

I'm scared my WD symptoms are just getting worse and not better.

I will attempt to change my signature to be more clear about the other meds. My brain is not working properly so if it doesn't work I apologize!

How were you feeling before you reduced? Your reduction was very large, 33%.

It might be best to increase your dose till you feel more stable. Do you feel better after taking your dose?

There is another forum called Benzo Buddies.

Forums - BenzoBuddies https://share.google/nTg14ANcXAsUafj2I

There is a lot of information there as well specifically about benzos. A member here @Golden was recently helped to get off a Benzo. Maybe she can chime in to help.

It is normal to feel afraid. There is no rush to continue to taper. It must be done carefully and slowly. Because of interdose withdrawal, it is important to keep the doses during the day, equal so there isn't big dips. Also, since you are experiencing symptoms, you want to either updose or hold till the symptoms settle down.

This can be resolved with time and patience. It is the drug and not you.

You will be okay. It does get better. ❤️🙏

10 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

How were you feeling before you reduced? Your reduction was very large, 33%.

It might be best to increase your dose till you feel more stable. Do you feel better after taking your dose?

There is another forum called Benzo Buddies.

Forums - BenzoBuddies https://share.google/nTg14ANcXAsUafj2I

There is a lot of information there as well specifically about benzos. A member here @Golden was recently helped to get off a Benzo. Maybe she can chime in to help.

It is normal to feel afraid. There is no rush to continue to taper. It must be done carefully and slowly. Because of interdose withdrawal, it is important to keep the doses during the day, equal so there isn't big dips. Also, since you are experiencing symptoms, you want to either updose or hold till the symptoms settle down.

This can be resolved with time and patience. It is the drug and not you.

You will be okay. It does get better. ❤️🙏

I don't normally feel better after taking it, funnily enough.

Thank you so much for your response. I've finished the day feeling like I have the flu, with rashes flaring up all over my face. It helps to hear this isn't my fault.

I have no plans to decrease further until I stabilize. Which I'm coming to understand may take a very long time.

I'm wondering also if the last couple of days have been worse because I'm taking an antibiotic? My sister has indicated in the past that this could worsen symptoms of WD.

43 minutes ago, baabymay said:

worse because I'm taking an antibiotic?

Yes, antibiotics affect the central nervous system greatly. Some are worse than others. What one are you taking?

45 minutes ago, baabymay said:

no plans to decrease further until I stabilize

Good to hear. Now it is just a waiting game. This journey definitely makes us dig deeper than we thought we could. You have survived and gotten this far. Now you have more knowledge and with that comes power to keep going.

48 minutes ago, baabymay said:

rashes flaring up all over my face.

This might be an allergic reaction to the antibiotic. You might want to tell the pharmacist….could you try something else instead of the antibiotic maybe? How long have you been taking it?

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

I reduced the lorazepam last on July 30th from .75 mg total daily (.5 at lunch and .25 at bedtime) to .5 total (.25 at lunch and .25 at bedtime).

Hey @baabymay

I am sorry things are tough,

Let me help you get your signature organised so we can better understand your timeline:

25mg Lorazepam (Date?)

26mg to 15mg Lorazepam in hospital (Dates?)

15 to 0.75 mg Lorazepam after leaving hospital (Dates?)

0.5 mg lorazepam July 30th 2026

45 mg mirtazepine since August 2025 (Dates for starting and I assume you still take?)

120 mg duloxetine since August 2025 (Dates for starting and I assume you still take?)

75 mg pregabalin since August 2025 (Dates for starting and I assume you still take?)

Can you add dates and confirm the bold sections for us?

Sorry things are so tough for you, we all undestand and are here to help. xxx

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Hey @baabymay

I am sorry things are tough,

Let me help you get your signature organised so we can better understand your timeline:

25mg Lorazepam (Date?)

26mg to 15mg Lorazepam in hospital (Dates?)

15 to 0.75 mg Lorazepam after leaving hospital (Dates?)

0.5 mg lorazepam July 30th 2026

45 mg mirtazepine since August 2025 (Dates for starting and I assume you still take?)

120 mg duloxetine since August 2025 (Dates for starting and I assume you still take?)

75 mg pregabalin since August 2025 (Dates for starting and I assume you still take?)

Can you add dates and confirm the bold sections for us?

Sorry things are so tough for you, we all undestand and are here to help. xxx

Thank you. I tried to make the proposed changes, let me know if there's more clarity now.

@baabymay great job on the signature. The good news is you haven't been on these drugs a long time. Your body just needs to catch up with the fast taper of the Benzo. ❤️🙏

15 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

Yes, antibiotics affect the central nervous system greatly. Some are worse than others. What one are you taking?

Good to hear. Now it is just a waiting game. This journey definitely makes us dig deeper than we thought we could. You have survived and gotten this far. Now you have more knowledge and with that comes power to keep going.

This might be an allergic reaction to the antibiotic. You might want to tell the pharmacist….could you try something else instead of the antibiotic maybe? How long have you been taking it?

The antibiotic is called cephalexin. This is day 2 of 7. It does seem to be worsening symptoms.

Thank you for the encouragement. I really wouldn't know what to do if my sister hadn't told me some of these WD symptoms are normal - I might have just thought I was going crazy.

11 minutes ago, baabymay said:

The antibiotic is called cephalexin. This is day 2 of 7. It does seem to be worsening symptoms.

As LostinCanada said, antibiotics can worsen WD, but you will bounce back.

12 minutes ago, baabymay said:

I really wouldn't know what to do if my sister hadn't told me some of these WD symptoms are normal - I might have just thought I was going crazy.

I reckon we all felt exactly the same way when we found this site and the former site. It was such a relief for me.

Most of us have probably been told we are crazy!

2 hours ago, baabymay said:

The antibiotic is called cephalexin. This is day 2 of 7. It does seem to be worsening symptoms.

I would stop taking if you are experiencing the rash from it. There might be an alternative naturally and maybe something you can do in the future in the way of preventative so you won't need it again.

Also, always make a doctor so a culture before ever taking antibiotics. The lab can give specific suggestions for the best antibiotic necessary and alternatives as well.

2 hours ago, baabymay said:

might have just thought I was going crazy.

These drugs can cause psychosis and everything else they claim to "treat".

19 hours ago, baabymay said:

Thank you. I tried to make the proposed changes, let me know if there's more clarity now.

Thank you, yes that is helpful.

Are you able to say how severe things have been at different points? Perhaps rate how your symptoms felt out of 10, 1 being mild 10 being severe, at the various stages, and tell us a little about how things have progressed.

-Just before going into hospital

-During the taper in hospital

-Once the additional Drugs were added in

-During the taper from Sept to July 26

-Now through out this hold

On 9/6/2026 at 3:06 AM, Chippy said:

Thank you, yes that is helpful.

Are you able to say how severe things have been at different points? Perhaps rate how your symptoms felt out of 10, 1 being mild 10 being severe, at the various stages, and tell us a little about how things have progressed.

-Just before going into hospital

-During the taper in hospital

-Once the additional Drugs were added in

-During the taper from Sept to July 26

-Now through out this hold

It's a bit tricky because different symptoms have been worse depending on the time period, or new symptoms have appeared that weren't a concern before. And everything post-hospital is further complicated, I think, by the trauma of having had to stay in hospital involuntarily for such a long period. But I will try!

Just before going into hospital, I had deteriorated physically and mentally to the point where I have huge holes in my memory and don't recall the days immediately preceding the hospital admission at all. So I guess 10/10 for those symptoms.

During the hospital stay, I mainly experienced huge amounts of anxiety and fear despite the massive amounts of medication I was still on. 7 or 8 out of 10 in terms of anxiety levels, physical symptoms more like 4/10, I was regaining quite a lot of lost physicality and not yet experiencing the nausea or dizziness I would later have.

I don't honestly think there was much meaningful change when they introduced the new drugs. It's hard to say, because so much was going on at the time.

During the taper from September to July, I experienced side effects including nausea, dizziness, vomiting, aural hallucinations, nightmares, night sweats, fatigue. Maybe 5/10? I was still able to do a lot, walking, reading.

Post-recent taper is when the nightmares and night sweats got worse, and when the dissociation/feelings of unreality or that I don't exist/I'm in a dream started, and ironically when I started to have more brain fog (I thought getting off benzos would HELP my concentration and memory, not hinder it). Also hot and cold flashes and trouble maintaining a normal body temperature. Some days symptoms feel almost manageable, maybe 5-6/10, sometimes they feel utterly unmanageable, maybe 8/10.

I'm so sorry for the essay, I wanted to include as much detail as I could.

Oh I should add a bit about the weird skin stuff because it scares me a lot as someone terrified of being seen as different from everybody else. Angry rashes, breakouts, weird patches of inflammation sometimes seemingly out of nowhere or triggered by random things. Some of this has been attributed to the rheumatic fever I came down with last winter, but it continues till now and seems to have gotten worse again after the last taper. If anyone has experienced anything similar, I would appreciate hearing it. I feel so out of place and lost sometimes.

Edited September 10Sep 10 by baabymay

13 hours ago, baabymay said:

It's a bit tricky because different symptoms have been worse depending on the time period, or new symptoms have appeared that weren't a concern before. And everything post-hospital is further complicated, I think, by the trauma of having had to stay in hospital involuntarily for such a long period. But I will try!

You did great thank you for trying!

13 hours ago, baabymay said:

Just before going into hospital, I had deteriorated physically and mentally to the point where I have huge holes in my memory and don't recall the days immediately preceding the hospital admission at all. So I guess 10/10 for those symptoms.

So this was when you were just taking the high dose of lorazepam? Nothing else? What else had you been taking before all this? Do you have any other history of Psych Drugs? I feel perhaps the reason for the Benzo in the first place is missing from your story here?

13 hours ago, baabymay said:

During the hospital stay, I mainly experienced huge amounts of anxiety and fear despite the massive amounts of medication I was still on. 7 or 8 out of 10 in terms of anxiety levels, physical symptoms more like 4/10, I was regaining quite a lot of lost physicality and not yet experiencing the nausea or dizziness I would later have.

So reducing the Benzo reduced some of your physical symptoms would you say?

13 hours ago, baabymay said:

I don't honestly think there was much meaningful change when they introduced the new drugs. It's hard to say, because so much was going on at the time.

Ok, we really never suggest adding in more drugs to help with symptoms, this is from our experience a bad move and makes things worse. It is so hard to tell what is what when there are so many drugs involved and changes etc....

13 hours ago, baabymay said:

During the taper from September to July, I experienced side effects including nausea, dizziness, vomiting, aural hallucinations, nightmares, night sweats, fatigue. Maybe 5/10? I was still able to do a lot, walking, reading.

How was your taper in terms of steps? 10% per month or just what you felt you wanted to do? Did we ask how you how did you taper? Was there scales involved or multiple tablets in 0.25mg or something like this that you were able to reduce? Did things worsen the more you tapered?

13 hours ago, baabymay said:

Post-recent taper is when the nightmares and night sweats got worse, and when the dissociation/feelings of unreality or that I don't exist/I'm in a dream started, and ironically when I started to have more brain fog (I thought getting off benzos would HELP my concentration and memory, not hinder it). Also hot and cold flashes and trouble maintaining a normal body temperature. Some days symptoms feel almost manageable, maybe 5-6/10, sometimes they feel utterly unmanageable, maybe 8/10.

So things are fluctuating? This is good. Signs the body is working very hard to settle things down for you.

13 hours ago, baabymay said:

Oh I should add a bit about the weird skin stuff because it scares me a lot as someone terrified of being seen as different from everybody else. Angry rashes, breakouts, weird patches of inflammation sometimes seemingly out of nowhere or triggered by random things. Some of this has been attributed to the rheumatic fever I came down with last winter, but it continues till now and seems to have gotten worse again after the last taper. If anyone has experienced anything similar, I would appreciate hearing it. I feel so out of place and lost sometimes.

We see all sorts of things happen tbh in WD people have huge histimine issues and that can cause skin problems for sure. I can understand you feel very self conscious over them and I am sorry. My hope is these settle in time. Trying to not focus on them is best, they are just a side effect, all be it horrible one, and as the body heals I would think this will too.

I do think as this is very much a benzo induced issue from what am I reading it would be worth making an account with Benzo Buddies and seeing if anyone has any thoughts for you over there.

I suspect much of what you are going through is more of a general nervous system dysfunction than anything, I do wonder, and I will wait for you to let us know, if this all started before the benzo somehow with other WD issues.....?

Broadly I suspect holding at 0.5mg and waiting for things to stablise would be best.

I am sorry for everything you are going through atm, we all get it and are here for you 100% x

On 9/11/2026 at 4:19 AM, Chippy said:

You did great thank you for trying!

So this was when you were just taking the high dose of lorazepam? Nothing else? What else had you been taking before all this? Do you have any other history of Psych Drugs? I feel perhaps the reason for the Benzo in the first place is missing from your story here?

So reducing the Benzo reduced some of your physical symptoms would you say?

Ok, we really never suggest adding in more drugs to help with symptoms, this is from our experience a bad move and makes things worse. It is so hard to tell what is what when there are so many drugs involved and changes etc....

How was your taper in terms of steps? 10% per month or just what you felt you wanted to do? Did we ask how you how did you taper? Was there scales involved or multiple tablets in 0.25mg or something like this that you were able to reduce? Did things worsen the more you tapered?

So things are fluctuating? This is good. Signs the body is working very hard to settle things down for you.

We see all sorts of things happen tbh in WD people have huge histimine issues and that can cause skin problems for sure. I can understand you feel very self conscious over them and I am sorry. My hope is these settle in time. Trying to not focus on them is best, they are just a side effect, all be it horrible one, and as the body heals I would think this will too.

I do think as this is very much a benzo induced issue from what am I reading it would be worth making an account with Benzo Buddies and seeing if anyone has any thoughts for you over there.

I suspect much of what you are going through is more of a general nervous system dysfunction than anything, I do wonder, and I will wait for you to let us know, if this all started before the benzo somehow with other WD issues.....?

Broadly I suspect holding at 0.5mg and waiting for things to stablise would be best.

I am sorry for everything you are going through atm, we all get it and are here for you 100% x

I have trouble thinking about all of this sometimes, so I apologize for the delays in my responses. I spend a lot of my time just wanting so badly to be like "normal" people.

To give a little context that may or may not be helpful: I've been on and off different psychiatric medications for 15 years, and I wish I could remember them all, but I can't. The ones I do remember: seroquel, clonazepam, lorazepam, paxil, lithium, wellbutrin. But I know there were many others.

A few years ago I started to experience really severe and crippling chronic pain, that sort of extended from my abdomen around into my back like a belt, and other gastrointestinal issues like nausea, vomiting, rapid weight loss, and even trouble eating solid food for awhile. I tried really hard to figure out what was happening and all kinds of tests were performed and exclusion diets were tried. I had been on clonazepam for years on an "as needed" basis, but when I started refusing to eat because it hurt so much, I was put on more and more benzos (and clonazepam was eventually also switched to lorazepam) to try to "control" the anxiety and make me more rational. This ultimately (Ibelieve) led to the sort of full body shutdown that landed me in the hospital.

It might be important to include that I had previously been hospitalized for refusing to eat, so I'm not claiming I was the pinnacle of sanity.

Things are a bit murky here in terms of what other prescriptions I was on - to be honest, I know there were others, sometimes prescribed quite quickly on the heels of each other, but I don't remember exactly what I was on when I was hospitalized in July 2025, other than the lorazepam.

And yes, I improved quite a lot physically when the lorazepam was reduced in hospital.

The mirtazepine, duloxetine and pregabalin were added during that same hospital stay. It was not my idea to add them, it was a decision made for me by the psychiatrists.

My weaning off the lorazepam post-hospital was supervised by an outpatient psychiatrist until about March 2026 (we had a set number of sessions). I honestly didn't even know I had been going quickly until my sister told me some of the information she had learned about proper weaning. So I know I ****** up there. I was trusting what the psychiatrists had been telling me. At first it was a reduction of 1 mg per week, then 1 mg per 10 days, then 0.5 mg per 10 days, then .25 mg per 10 days but I know all of this was much too fast.

In the winter I was diagnosed with rheumatic fever. I'm not sure whether that had anything to do with the withdrawal.

I will try my best to answer any other questions you think might be pertinent.

8 hours ago, baabymay said:

I'm not claiming I was the pinnacle of sanity.

The thing is... instead of doctors trying to figure out what really is going on....they give the bandaid solutions, which happen to be very dangerous and cause more problems than they ever were supposed to solve.

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

I have trouble thinking about all of this sometimes, so I apologize for the delays in my responses. I spend a lot of my time just wanting so badly to be like "normal" people.

You have nothing to apologize for. We are here for you when you need :)

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

To give a little context that may or may not be helpful: I've been on and off different psychiatric medications for 15 years, and I wish I could remember them all, but I can't. The ones I do remember: seroquel, clonazepam, lorazepam, paxil, lithium, wellbutrin. But I know there were many others.

Thank you for sharing. Unfortunately coming on and off these drugs causes all sort of issues which tend to stack, the more events the more problems.

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

A few years ago I started to experience really severe and crippling chronic pain, that sort of extended from my abdomen around into my back like a belt, and other gastrointestinal issues like nausea, vomiting, rapid weight loss, and even trouble eating solid food for awhile. I tried really hard to figure out what was happening and all kinds of tests were performed and exclusion diets were tried. I had been on clonazepam for years on an "as needed" basis, but when I started refusing to eat because it hurt so much, I was put on more and more benzos (and clonazepam was eventually also switched to lorazepam) to try to "control" the anxiety and make me more rational. This ultimately (Ibelieve) led to the sort of full body shutdown that landed me in the hospital.

Unfortunatley doctors tend to treat drug injuries with more drugs which just makes things worse.

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

It might be important to include that I had previously been hospitalized for refusing to eat, so I'm not claiming I was the pinnacle of sanity.

I don't think you can identify what is you and what is the drugs at this point, you've been through so much and your system will be very destablised as a result.

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

And yes, I improved quite a lot physically when the lorazepam was reduced in hospital.

That is good. I think this is often something that is missed with the hold mindset you often see in the community, sometimes it's better to get the dose down, not often, but here for sure.

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

The mirtazepine, duloxetine and pregabalin were added during that same hospital stay. It was not my idea to add them, it was a decision made for me by the psychiatrists.

I am sorry to see this. Unfortunately you have been taken these sometime now and will need to reduce them slowly one at a time once you are feeling more stable.

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

My weaning off the lorazepam post-hospital was supervised by an outpatient psychiatrist until about March 2026 (we had a set number of sessions). I honestly didn't even know I had been going quickly until my sister told me some of the information she had learned about proper weaning. So I know I ****** up there. I was trusting what the psychiatrists had been telling me. At first it was a reduction of 1 mg per week, then 1 mg per 10 days, then 0.5 mg per 10 days, then .25 mg per 10 days but I know all of this was much too fast.

Thanks for the update, yes likley too fast, but it is done now.

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

In the winter I was diagnosed with rheumatic fever. I'm not sure whether that had anything to do with the withdrawal.

We are not doctors, however it is common WD can be 'explained' with new Diagnoses, so I am often skeptical tbh.

18 hours ago, baabymay said:

I will try my best to answer any other questions you think might be pertinent.

Thank you, no I think that's enough to get a better picture.

It sounds like to me your best course of action is now to hold. You've gotten the bulk of the benzo down and benefited from that from what I can see. Unfortunately you went quickly and are now having some WD symptoms. If you sit this out over time I hope things will start to settle down.

Once they do (we like to see mild symptoms 1-3/10) we can help you if you would like work out what to taper and how to go about doing that.

Once again I am so very sorry for what you are going through. You will find many others on here who have been through similar and understand.

Chippy