11 Years of Citalopram/Escitalopram (14 Kindling Cycles) – Month 13 Post-Cessation: Waves, Windows, and Recent Vascular/Visual Glitches

Hello everyone,

I am writing to share my story and seek insights from those who have experienced long-term Protracted Withdrawal (PAWS) and severe sensitization due to repeated reinstatement (The Kindling Effect).

My Background & Medication History:11 years ago, due to a temporary period of life stress causing anxiety and insomnia, I was first prescribed Citalopram at 10 mg. I initially took it for only 2 months. However, every time I attempted to stop under medical guidance, I experienced severe withdrawal symptoms which my doctors repeatedly misdiagnosed as a "relapse."

Over the years, my medication was switched to Escitalopram at 10 mg. This cycle of stopping and reinstating repeated 14 times over an 11-year period, severely sensitizing my central nervous system. By 2020 (Year 5 of this cycle), I experienced severe panic attacks, intense gastrointestinal bloating, profound existential dread, intrusive thoughts, auditory glitches, and depersonalization (inability to recognize my own face).

During my final year on medications (2025), I was put on a cocktail of various other psychiatric drugs, all of which my body violently rejected.

The Final Quit (2025):In 2025, realizing these chemical interventions were destroying my health, I made the decision to stop everything permanently. During the first 8 months, withdrawal felt like an immovable "rock"—a relentless wall of constant, unyielding symptoms affecting multiple bodily systems:

Lymphatic & Immune: Enlarged/reactive lymph nodes and constant internal heat/feverish sensations.

Gastrointestinal & Urinary: Severe digestive issues, extreme bloating, and urinary system dysfunction.

Neurological & Psychological: Intense panic, violent intrusive thoughts, OCD, visual glitches, transient hallucinations, and severe vascular instability.

My Current Status (Month 13):I am now at Month 13 post-cessation. The constant "rock" of symptoms has finally broken down into a daily pattern of "waves and windows."

Today, I experienced a highly profound "deep window" of absolute peace that lasted for 2 hours—so deep that I completely forgot I was ever sick. However, immediately after this window closed while I was calmly speaking on the phone, a frightening new symptom appeared for the first time:

Visual Oscillopsia: My vision suddenly began to sway slowly and rhythmically from right to left for several seconds, while my central point of focus remained perfectly stable in the center (like looking at a swaying TV screen).

Vascular & Sensory Sequencing: This visual event was immediately preceded by a violent vascular flush in my hands (switching between extreme paleness/yellowing and intense redness). It was followed by transient tinnitus, mild nausea, an intense pressure/heaviness localized precisely at the base of my skull (suboccipital/cervical junction), and a sensation of my entire head burning like fire.

Testing Stability:To rule out structural emergencies, I measured my vitals during the panic spike; my blood pressure, blood sugar, and oxygen levels were completely normal and stable. Furthermore, I performed a self-test by aggressively moving my head and eyes after the episode, and no dizziness occurred. I even tested walking between rooms completely blind/with my eyes closed, and my deep motor balance (proprioception) was entirely perfect. Shortly after, the entire episode vanished completely, leaving behind an overwhelming, systemic physical exhaustion (crashed energy).

(Note: 8 months ago, I underwent a comprehensive medical workup, including a Brain MRI, Echocardiogram, ECG, and Troponin levels, all of which returned completely clean and normal).

Given the 14 kindling cycles over 11 years, compounded by the final year of multi-drug rejections, I suspect my autonomic nervous system is experiencing acute micro-vascular spasms as a rebound effect when transitioning out of deep relaxation windows.

Has anyone else experienced this specific type of horizontal visual swaying (oscillopsia), localized suboccipital pressure, and vascular flushing this far out (Month 13)? How long did it take for these rebound neuro-vascular glitches to stabilize?

Thank you for your support and guidance

Welcome to the forum!

 

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I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

 

You are correct in your diagnosis imo, your nervous system has been extremely upset by multiple and repeated Cold Turkeys and reinstatements, followed by what I think you have said is a cocktail of other drugs to try to treat this injury. Stopping all the drugs abruptly like this would have likley have made things even worse for you unfortunately.

Recovery from protracted WD can be a long process taking many months, often years, it is non linear, the symptoms fluctuate, they can come and go and develop over time. Your body is going through a process of healing, thats what you are experiencing. These symptoms are evidence on this. Try not to over analyse each change and understand that even though things can wax and wane and feel different over time, it's all the same thing an injured nervous system fighting and healing for you.

Have a read of our coping skills section it might be useful for you to understand some of the mindfulness techniques, we can't fix this, just need to learn how to cope and suffer well whils the healing is happening. Main thing, don't get in it's way trying to fix it, body knows best.

Symptoms-Coping-Strategies

 

Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

Medications, Supplements and Other Substances in Withdrawal

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.