Hello,

Just wanted to share my story on and off antidepressants and get little support.

I was initially prescribed Citalopram 20mg while at university age 18 for social anxiety. I was very skeptical of the drugs and stopped taking them after a few days due to the horrible anxiety and insomnia they gave me.

I continued to suffer from anxiety and depression after university when I was unemployed without any good career prospects. I foolishly felt like I hadn't given the medication a fair chance, and was unaware of the long term effects of SSRI's, especially post SSRI after years of use. Instead I heard stories of how everyone was taking them and so presumed they were safe and harmless, I was wrong.

So in 2017 at age 21 I decided to give the medication a proper try. I started with Citalopram 20mg again, after the first two weeks of worsened anxiety and trouble sleeping I started to get maybe a little benefit from it. In my case it was honestly very negligible if anything at all. I went up to 40mg a little later and still didn't get much affect but didn't get any real side effects either. I then decided to start reducing down to 10mg in an attempt to come off the medication around 2019. Throughout this time both pre medication and while taking it I had good sexual function and libido.

In reality I was still very depressed with where as was at in life and eventually ended up in a dead end factory job. After some years there I had pretty much given up on life and just remained on the medication partly out of laziness on my part as I didn't have a lot of side effects. My mental health deteriorated further during the 8 years on medication, I also suffered from minor OCD but this got much worse during that time.

In 2025 I started seeing a therapist which helped me to finally start making some changes in my life. At the end of 2025 I decided to finally try and get off the medication. As I was on a low dose and hadn't had much effect from it I thought coming off would be easy, boy was I wrong. I reduced down to 6mg which wasn't too bad but going down to 4mg the withdrawal hit me hard. Started getting lots of shock sensations and the feeling of my heart skipping beats. I was feeling rough especially while working full time but decided to just push through even though I now know I tapered way to fast. After the final dose the acute withdrawal was bad for another 2-3 months.

I've been off the medication for around 8 months now. I'm still suffering a lot from a lack of motivation and anhedonia. All my emotions feel numb and dull, pre medication I used to have a lot of enthusiasm and energy for my interests and hobbies, now everything feels like all the colours been washed out. I play the piano and had a lot of passion for music and feel like all my creativity has gone. I also believe I have PSSD as I have a lot of sexual dysfunction now with low libido and weak pleasureless orgasms. I have had a few windows of good sexual function off medication but I'm in a bad wave at the moment. Also noticed I have much less response to alcohol now, however while on medication I could get drunk very easily. I keep worrying myself silly by endless looking through PSSD forums which I know is making things worse, I just feel scared it's going to be like this for life.

I haven't been able to share what I've been feeling with anyone, and just wanted to tell someone what I've been going through as I feel very alone right now. I feel very frustrated and angry at myself as I wish I'd done more research before ever touching this poison. Should have trusted my gut and never touched this stuff. Would also love to see some accountability from the pharmaceutical industry for harm they've caused people. I was never warned off the consequences of this medication. I've already submitted a yellow card to the MHRA and submitted a Rxisk report.

Planning on trying to stay off medication for the foreseeable future and hope I can recover with time.

Thanks very much for reading and your support.

Wishing everyone all the best with their recovery,

Elliot

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawal syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

The value of this forum is in the community it fosters. We hope that all of our members will be able to learn from each others' experiences, both the good and the bad. To this end, we strongly encourage members to not only document their personal journey on their own thread, but to read and post on other members' threads and otherwise make full use of the resources available throughout the forum.

 

Thank you for updating your signature.

I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

 

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

3 hours ago, Elliot said:

I foolishly felt like I hadn't given the medication a fair chance, and was unaware of the long term effects of SSRI's, especially post SSRI after years of use. Instead I heard stories of how everyone was taking them and so presumed they were safe and harmless, I was wrong.

Once harmed, many of us reflect on the marketing surrounding these drugs and realise that it is nonsensical. If these drugs were effective there wouldn't be so much emphasis on "finding one that works", "giving them a proper try" etc. No other drugs work this way and are pushed like this. If you react negatively to heart medication it isn't your fault for not "trying it properly".

The more you learn about how these drugs are approved, used and pushed, the more ludicrous it becomes and even patient information leaflets, which should be objective often include pharmaceutical marketing slogans.

Years after the theory was discredited and abandoned by mainstream psychiatry, the PIL for my drugs stated that they work by "correcting a chemical imbalance in the brain". This theory never had any evidence. The pharmaceutical companies decided that it must be so and then went looking for evidence of it for decades before quietly dropping it. The fact that these unevidenced slogans make it into PILs and NHS patient information "antidepressants are a safe and effective treatment" shows how ideologically captured these organisations are.

Again, you don't take other drugs whilst the doctor insists that they're really safe and effective and so does all the patient information in writing. They tend to focus on effects for drugs that are effective...

3 hours ago, Elliot said:

I've been off the medication for around 8 months now. I'm still suffering a lot from a lack of motivation and anhedonia. All my emotions feel numb and dull, pre medication I used to have a lot of enthusiasm and energy for my interests and hobbies, now everything feels like all the colours been washed out. I play the piano and had a lot of passion for music and feel like all my creativity has gone. I also believe I have PSSD as I have a lot of sexual dysfunction now with low libido and weak pleasureless orgasms.

These are all really common symptoms.

3 hours ago, Elliot said:

I have had a few windows of good sexual function off medication but I'm in a bad wave at the moment. Also noticed I have much less response to alcohol now, however while on medication I could get drunk very easily. I keep worrying myself silly by endless looking through PSSD forums which I know is making things worse, I just feel scared it's going to be like this for life.

A few points:

1. A lot of people on these forums, particularly the subreddit, are not honest about continuing to take drugs.

2. Various PSSD forums state not to even consider it until you're 6 months off of all drugs.

3. The minority of people who have these symptoms very long term/for life do not have windows

4. You're having windows very early on, so this is a good sign that it is not "for life"

Finally, we strongly recommend avoiding alcohol entirely until you have been 100% better for a long time. Some might tolerate it ok, but for many people it can cause setbacks, and sometimes these can be quite major setbacks. We've seen this happen repeatedly. Even if it doesn't cause an obvious setback, who knows if it is impeding recovery if that's what it does do for others?

It's just not worth the risk, and we get huge amounts of pushback when providing this warning even though it's probably happened to several members here within the last few months and this is a forum of just a few hundred people who mostly avoid it.

3 hours ago, Elliot said:

I haven't been able to share what I've been feeling with anyone, and just wanted to tell someone what I've been going through as I feel very alone right now.

You'll definitely find people who you can relate to here. There are other members who are currently going through something similar.

3 hours ago, Elliot said:

I feel very frustrated and angry at myself as I wish I'd done more research before ever touching this poison. Should have trusted my gut and never touched this stuff.

These feelings are very common. I have them all the time too.

3 hours ago, Elliot said:

Would also love to see some accountability from the pharmaceutical industry for harm they've caused people. I was never warned off the consequences of this medication. I've already submitted a yellow card to the MHRA and submitted a Rxisk report.

Thank you for doing that.

I have actively worked with the MHRA and am soon due to have another meeting with them to discuss potential updates to patient safety warnings:

Work with the MHRA - Activism and Advocacy - The Antidepressant Harm and Recovery Forum

Feel free to comment there if you have any suggestions.

One thing that they have indicated is that they get a lot of reports from people who are weeks or months off, but then they don't know what ultimately happened. Down the line, if you're still having symptoms, it's worth emailing them with the yellow card number and providing them with an update.

This will hopefully provide more data on people who have been suffering from the effects of these drugs for a significant amount of time.

No need to do anything just yet, just something to keep in mind down the line.

3 hours ago, Elliot said:

Planning on trying to stay off medication for the foreseeable future and hope I can recover with time.

We will support you with this as best we can.

You may want to have a read of @Sophia's thread:

Sophia: Withdrawal from fluoxetine after short term use - Page 14 - Introductions & Ongoing Recoveries - The Antidepressant Harm and Recovery Forum

She is suffering similar symptoms to you, but at a year off she has been having encouraging improvements in the last few months even though things are still difficult.

We do also have other members experiencing similar symptoms.

This success story may also be helpful for you:

Violets: Fully recovered from severe form of PSSD after two years - Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal - Surviving Antidepressants

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

Welcome to the forum @Elliot glad you found us!

Hi Luke and Chippy,

Thanks for your replies.

Thank you Luke for all the information you've provided me, reading other people's success stories has improved my outlook on my situation.

I'm trying to cut out alcohol altogether. I'm not going to lie while I was on the medication I did use alcohol as an escape regularly at the weekends. Now though I find the effect is so little it isn't worth it, and it just makes very ill the next day.

Caffeine is much harder for me to give up as I do drink tea and coffee regularly but I'm going to try and cut back if I can, I don't find it effects me too badly though.

I do take a multivitamin and have tried magnesium glycinate capsules in the past to see if they helped but didn't notice much difference taking them. I'm not currently taking magnesium at the moment. I have also taken vitamin D supplements as I suspect it might be low as I got very little sunlight when I worked an evening shift in my factory job.

Going for walks and getting some fresh air definitely seems to help me when I'm feeling low.

I'll try and remember to email the MHRA further down the line as you suggested, sounds like a good idea.

Many Thanks,

Elliot

Thanks @Elliot I would definitely not drink in WD. The longer term effect it will likley have on your recovery is not worth it.

With the caffeine, if you tolerate it then great. I wouldnt suggest cutting it out in one hit. You are probably realising that the body likes gentle and consitent, so even if you did decide to cut it out, I would taper it down over a period of time rather cold turkey it. Main thing, listen to your body and what it's telling you.