Just now, molloi said:

I KNOW this would NOT have worked when I was acute with akathisia and suicidal

Which leads me to believe thst your WD eased of it's own accord, and strategies then became possible and helpful.

6 minutes ago, Sminismoni said:

@molloi How can you prove, that after a 9 month hold, you weren't turning a corner anyway? Maybe you were able to use strategies like this because your WD was healing. Not that the strategies helped your WD, but that WD eased enough to allow you to use strategies, if that makes sense. Correlation is not causation, that is the first rule of science.

Personally I think this is bollocks - just going to call it straight because I have no patience and no "F's to give" anymore after what has happened to me. I am a psychiatrist trained in Acceptance Commitment Therapy and Trauma Informed Stabilisation Therapy. I have also done workshops on Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and did Yoga teacher training some tears ago. If there was any strategy or approach that worked for the twisting, dark, evil, chemical thoughts, brain fog, joint pain etc, etc, you might think that I have the tool box. Guess what? Many, if not most days my brain and body are not capable of measured breathing (can't concentrate to count the breathes), observing my symptoms, thought challenging, 'floating above", calming my nervous system etc. And on days that I am, it doesn't make a jot of difference.

This is a brain injury that will heal in it's own time. As I said, I call bollocks here, big time.

If I could like it twice.

1 minute ago, Sminismoni said:

Which leads me to believe thst your WD eased of it's own accord, and strategies then became possible and helpful.

Yes.. that's what I am trying to convey in my initial post. That my physical/biochemical/whatever you want to call it withdrawal eased and then i dont know when or how became more neuroplastic in nature - still horrible to live with but responsive to 'techniques'. I then used strategies to ease these neuroplastic symptoms. I still have symptoms that aren't improved by these strategies but it has vastly improved my quality of life.

I'm suspect I will come back to this forum with problems that are not responsive to brain retraining type approaches. I have a long way to go on my taper and it will probably not be without difficulty. I hope I don't become acute again as that nearly ended my life. I know what I have posted is triggering/infuriating/perceived as bollocks by a lot of people who are suffering badly. It is just information to be considered. Not scientific fact. I know how ridiculous it sounds. I come from a science background (Dr of veterinary medicine) so I am aware that this stuff is not proven but man if it can help one person then I'll post it. If you want to completely disregard this stuff that is fine but look at the way you call BS on someone's experience and how it compares to the way mainstream medicine has called BS on psychotropic drug withdrawal as being unproven pseudoscience when we all know millions are suffering.

Edited June 7Jun 7 by molloi

5 hours ago, molloi said:

@Luke I understand that this theory does not apply to everyone and certainly am not suggesting that it is a cure all for ssri withdrawal, cfs etc.

Fair enough.

5 hours ago, molloi said:

I also have spent a lot of time pushing through symptoms and doing things anyway. It wasn't a confidence issue it was a mindset issue of being afraid of my symptoms just being there which created a feedback loop to more symptoms. I never stopped doing things I just did them scared and reactive to my symptoms. Now I do them with my symptoms but not scared or reactive despite them. I hope this makes sense and I understand that it is triggering to read. I will keep updating this thread with my progress and maybe it will go downhill again but I hope not!

Ok.

I'm glad you feel that something has begun to help you. I'm not averse to trying things, especially when they're harmless.

https://open.substack.com/pub/crossingzero/p/the-second-layer-of-withdrawal?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1qptm9

From a recent substack by Anders Sørensen. Such an important piece of the approach to withdrawal symptoms.

When you’re in withdrawal, there are often two things happening at the same time.

The first is withdrawal itself:

The inner restlessness, insomnia, nausea, inability to focus.

The heart palpitations, waves of terror and anxiety, dizziness, brain zaps.

The low mood, crying spells, emotional numbness, fatigue.

The strange sensations that make you wonder whether you’re losing your mind.

Those symptoms are real.

And then there is something else. Something that often goes unnoticed because it feels so reasonable.

The constant monitoring.

The checking.

The analysing.

The resisting.

The Googling.

The endless search for patterns.

The attempts to predict tomorrow based on today.

The calculations, the planning, the ”what ifs.”

And before long, you may find yourself carrying both:

Withdrawal plus the effort to control withdrawal.

Because while we cannot choose to stop experiencing withdrawal symptoms,

we often have way more influence over our relationship with them than we realise.

24 days since my 1.7% drop. Seems to have followed my previous pattern I had back in early 2025 where weeks 1 and 2 I don't feel much different but week 3 and sometimes 4 are pretty awful. Half way through week 4 now and feeling almost back to my baseline. Had that horrible chemical anxiety and inner restlessness that is not relieved by anything last week along with a panic attack pretty much every day. Sort of feels like one level below akathisia. The only thing that seems to slightly help with the restlessness and agitation when I'm in that state is walking outside with headphones on. Glad that it seems to have passed. Likely going to hold this dose for at least 8 weeks total. Will continue to update and so far quite happy with how things are going.

21 hours ago, molloi said:

24 days since my 1.7% drop. Seems to have followed my previous pattern I had back in early 2025 where weeks 1 and 2 I don't feel much different but week 3 and sometimes 4 are pretty awful. Half way through week 4 now and feeling almost back to my baseline. Had that horrible chemical anxiety and inner restlessness that is not relieved by anything last week along with a panic attack pretty much every day. Sort of feels like one level below akathisia. The only thing that seems to slightly help with the restlessness and agitation when I'm in that state is walking outside with headphones on. Glad that it seems to have passed. Likely going to hold this dose for at least 8 weeks total. Will continue to update and so far quite happy with how things are going.

Glad things are settling down again, good to see. Slow is the new fast.

Well the 1.7% drop seemed to go ok. However, I got viral meningitis last week which has set me back a bit. Was only in hospital for 24hrs but was sick for about a week with extreme heaches, vomiting, back and neck pain and fever. The after effects of meningitis are a bit similar to withdrawal - fatigue, brain fog, anxiety and can sometimes take weeks to months to resolve. I might hold for a few months depending on how I'm feeling. Just feeling a bit fragile at the moment.

5 hours ago, molloi said:

Well the 1.7% drop seemed to go ok. However, I got viral meningitis last week which has set me back a bit. Was only in hospital for 24hrs but was sick for about a week with extreme heaches, vomiting, back and neck pain and fever. The after effects of meningitis are a bit similar to withdrawal - fatigue, brain fog, anxiety and can sometimes take weeks to months to resolve. I might hold for a few months depending on how I'm feeling. Just feeling a bit fragile at the moment.

Im sorry to read, a hold sounds like a good idea. Hope this all settles soon for you.