Hi all! 

 

I had depressive episodes since around 2016 after my time in school wasn`t the best and my parents had a bad break up. After being abroad for a year in 2018 I was feeling better again, but I also started drinking and while studying my alcohol consumption went from drinking while partying to self medicating. From my youth on I was also playing video games a lot and probably using media (videos and gaming) as a coping mechanism as well.

 

I had a "panic attack" in 2021. I felt so overwhelmed and depressed suddenly and did not know what was happening to me and my doctor gave me 5mg of escitalopram in April of 2021. I quit my harmful drinking in July of 2021 cold turkey and my feelings became worse again. I started smoking cigarettes heavily to compensate the withdrawal of alcohol. Dosage increase to 10mg in August of 2021. I was more or less stable on this dosage until my girlfriend broke up with me in April of 2023. I could not handle my feelings so my doctor upped my dosage to 15mg in May of 2023. I was still smoking on and off as well and was smoking more again after the breakup. In February of 2024 I quit my nicotine intake completely and I felt worse again for a while. It stabilized after a while and I was doing fine on 15mg.

 

I finally started therapy in October of 2024. It helped quite a bit in the beginning. I always had the urge to try and reduce my dosage back to 10mg as I went up to 15mg while I was still smoking and I thought the 15mg was too much after stopping nicotine. Since starting therapy I was feeling better and was quite stable. My therapist recommended going to a clinic even though I felt I was doing fine at the time. I was in a psychosomatic clinic from september-december 2025 and there I talked about reducing my dosage to 10mg. They convinced me to taper down completely which took 6 weeks from 15mg to 0mg.

 

Tapering diary:

05.10.25 15mg to 10mg

18.10. 5mg

20.10. more energy, more impulsive, more free

27.10. 3mg

28.10. weird feeling in my head like when I started taking escitalopram in 2021. Like my brain is buzzing or thinking really hard

29.10. I felt more sad than normal. I was not sure if its normal sadness, which maybe was suppressed by the meds or if it was more than normal.

30.10. higher heartrate than normal

31.10. higher heartrate straight after taking meds

03.11. 2mg

10.11. 1mg

17.11. 0mg

 

Shortly after the clinic my grandma passed away. I felt mostly fine for ca. 8 weeks after reaching 0mg. 

On 15.01.26 I had a first bigger fight with my girlfriend which led to negative self talk and thoughts. I also decided to do a week of dopamine detox (reducing my screentime from 12 hours a day to maybe 4 hours).

From 17.01./18.01. on i crashed hard and feel like shit again. I don't know if it is a depression relapse or withdrawal symptoms. Could it be withdrawal symptoms 8 weeks after reaching 0mg?

 

These are my symptoms:

Very strong restlessness and or panic (not sure) from the moment i wake up

Lots of anxiety

Feeling empty

Negative thoughts

Crying because I'm so anxious and I fear my depression is back again

Thinking I'm back at my lowest point

Almost no appetite

Strong digestive problems

Weakness and sometimes shakiness

 

These symptoms are persistent for most of the day but went away quite a bit to almost 80% on some days in the late afternoons/evenings when I was busy with friends or my girlfriend. Maybe when I was getting tired from the day. But every morning it was terrible again.

 

I read about reinstating a low dose again. But I'm not sure if I should do that or If it's too late already. I want to feel better again. I'm overwhelmed with what to do. I would have tapered slower if i had known about it.

Hi Ben97

 

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawl syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

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I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

 

It sounds like to me your original condition of depression and overwhelm is one many experience and is completely normal given the busy modern lives we live. There is alot of stress particularly at a young age. Much uncertainly for sure. It can be overwhelming. Our nervous systems are programmed to defend against this with these types of feelings. Also Alcohol and other life style factors play a huge part. The types of food we eat, activities we do in the day and the quality of our relationships all play a part. I can relate from my 20's.

 

In my opinion the answer to these 'normal' life issues isnt medication and never will be. These are my only personal views but Ill share them with all the same.

 

Escitalopram is a strong antidepressant particularly at the lower doses. You tapered much much too quickly and in my view is the likely cause of all the symptoms you are experiencing now. We see all the time it can take several weeks for symptoms to show so this is not unusual at all.

 

You are showing signs of improvement which is good. Feeling better in the afternoon is also common. Waking in the morning with alot of symptoms is likely due to increased Cortisol levels. Again all typical and indicating WD.

 

Whether to reinstate is your own personal decision to make. You need to judge this for yourself. You are the expert in your body and your symptoms.

 

It is best to reinstate immediately after stopping however you are just over two months from going to zero and in the 3 months timeframe which is good. The sooner the better.

It isn't guaranteed to work, but for those it does, it tends to work well and they then taper carefully (more on this if you decide to reinstate) from there.

As you mentioned above it is recommend to start on a low dose. This is to check your system will accept the drug and won't make you worse. If you wanted to try perhaps 0.5mg to start with. Be careful Escitalopram is potent at lower doses and has a 25% effect on the brain at 1mg! Others may chime in here who have experience with reinstating this drug.

You may need at least a week to see improvement although some see immediate effect. You can then, if needed, increase the dose a little, if you think your body is excepting it, until symptoms become tolerable. Be careful though as it can take some time to feel the full effect of the reinstatement. Less is more.

Just to reiterate I am not your doctor and these are just my views and information I share from the community as a whole.

 

If you haven't already I would highly recommend you read the following from Surviving Antidepressants:

Reinstatement: About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Altostrata is one of the leading minds in antidepressants withdrawal syndrome and learning everything she has to say about it is in my view extremely wise.

 

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

 

Chippy

Hi there Ben. I'm a fellow escitalopram user and just wanted to say that your taper was very fast and horrible WDs can definitely kick in 8 weeks after getting to zero. Everyone is different with this of course. Other people suddenly have a bad time 8 months after getting to zero. 

 

I cannot give medical advice obviously because I am just a user like you are. For context though, I am currently on 2.3 mg and plan to spend another three years to get off that because it is rough for me at times - my mood plummets and I get incredibly irritable. I wouldn't suggest that you go back up to anything like your previous dose though because your brain will have made a lot of adaptations already. And there is a risk of really upsetting your body badly - a phenomenon called "kindling". This hasn't happened to me personally and I've always felt much better after I've had to updose. I've read some harrowing stories about it though.

 

There is some information here on reinstatement from the old Surviving Antidepressants site. Generally they advise you to reinstate at a low dose - maybe 1mg. Do you have leftover medication you can use to reinstate at this sort of level? 

 

If you don't have medication and need to go back to your dr to get some, just know that most of them will not be supportive of being on a dose which they would describe as "non-therapeutic". But as many of us here on this site know, just because a dose isn't at a therapeutic level doesn't mean it's not affecting you. If the dr suggests you go back on 10 mg or 5 mg or whatever, just nod politely, take the prescription, and take whatever dose you think will help you. 

 

I'm happy to chat to you about this. There is no need to suffer as you are at the moment. 

One more thing: here is a link to some information on the SA website on what they call "the early morning cortisol spike". It sounds like you may be suffering from this and it gradually wears off over the course of the day. It explains the why of it and provides some coping strategies too

Thank you both for your replies!

 

@Fifree I'm on the fence about reinstating. I heard about kindling and I'm scared of making everything worse. But I do think I want to try to reinstate. 

 

I do still have a bottle of liquid escitalopram but it's been over 8 weeks from opening it and it says not to use it then. I'll see my doctor tomorrow so I could get a new bottle.

 

 

 

Hello Ben, welcome to this site! I am happy you found it. And you found it quite early, so you have still the possibility of a careful reinstatement.
I am tapering Escitalopram as well and I can confirm that it is very potent in low doses. (I am at the moment on 0.34 mg and I’m sure I still have a long way to go.) Your taper has been very fast. I don’t think that your symptoms mean that all problems are coming back, it sounds very much like withdrawal. 

On 1/27/2026 at 8:34 AM, Ben97 said:

These are my symptoms:

Very strong restlessness and or panic (not sure) from the moment i wake up

Lots of anxiety

Feeling empty

Negative thoughts

Crying because I'm so anxious and I fear my depression is back again

Thinking I'm back at my lowest point

Almost no appetite

Strong digestive problems

Weakness and sometimes shakiness

I can relate to most of your symptoms in my own taper: I also wake up with anxiety, have a lot of negative thoughts and so on. Just my appetite never left me. 😜

 

You say that you are scared that your depression is coming back. From the bit that you have written about yourself, I would think that being depressed (in the sense of being sad, frustrated, wishing to withdraw from the world, feeling numbed …) could be a normal reaction to a difficult youth. School can be very hard, problems the parents have land on the shoulders of the children, and your lifestyle has not been healthy. You should not have received medicine but therapy and loving support  in this very difficult time of your life.

anyway, I say this to encourage you: I think your problem is not a return of depression, but that your nervous system is missing the drug and needs to restructure and find a new balance. Over time this will happen. And then you will feel good.

 

You will find a lot of helpful information on the SA -surviving antidepressants forum, and here on this forum you will find friendly people who have experience with the problems that you have at the moment. 
 

So again: welcome!

Nemina

 

1 hour ago, Ben97 said:

Thank you both for your replies!

 

@Fifree I'm on the fence about reinstating. I heard about kindling and I'm scared of making everything worse. But I do think I want to try to reinstate. 

 

I do still have a bottle of liquid escitalopram but it's been over 8 weeks from opening it and it says not to use it then. I'll see my doctor tomorrow so I could get a new bottle.

 

Nobody can really say whether it is or isn't the best option.

 

What I would say, is if you are functional now (even if it is difficult), you may wish to proceed and hope to improve in time. 

 

If you do decide that you need to reinstate, others have already linked information on it. The only thing I'd add is to emphasise that it is best to start low and slow with it.

On 1/28/2026 at 3:27 PM, Luke said:

 

Nobody can really say whether it is or isn't the best option.

 

What I would say, is if you are functional now (even if it is difficult), you may wish to proceed and hope to improve in time. 

 

If you do decide that you need to reinstate, others have already linked information on it. The only thing I'd add is to emphasise that it is best to start low and slow with it.

I would say I am functional for normal activities.

I have not been working since July 2025 because I was more and more exhausted and was scared of running into burnout. I'm currently looking for a new part time job, so my symptoms are not helping in that regard.

 

I think I feel slightly better than last week when it all started and most evenings are almost normal. Yesterday I felt shit until 6pm and then until I went to sleep I was really calm and felt 80-90% normal. That gives me hope.

Today I woke up at 7 with less symptoms than normal and could sleep for another hour which was not possible at all the since it started last week. When I woke up again I felt the symptoms stronger again.

 

I will decide about reinstating today or tomorrow.

Hi Ben

 

24 minutes ago, Ben97 said:

I would say I am functional for normal activities.

Good this will help alot.

 

24 minutes ago, Ben97 said:

I'm currently looking for a new part time job, so my symptoms are not helping in that regard.

No it's hard to know how you will be from day to day alot of us find. If you can get something that fits with you this is great. Obviously money is always an issue. Just another obstacle to navigate. I suspect most of us relate.

 

25 minutes ago, Ben97 said:

think I feel slightly better than last week when it all started and most evenings are almost normal.

This is encouraging. It is very normal to feel better in the evening and a clear sign of WD.

 

Sounds all very promising. You've not been long off and only a couple of weeks since hitting wd.

 

Yes a tough choice. It would be completely reasonable to stay off. You are doing ok by the sounds of things at the moment. But obviously no one knows where this goes from here. We all unfortunately need to make our own choices based on the information available to us.

 

We are all here for you which ever way you go with this.

 

Chippy

2 hours ago, Ben97 said:

I would say I am functional for normal activities.

I have not been working since July 2025 because I was more and more exhausted and was scared of running into burnout. I'm currently looking for a new part time job, so my symptoms are not helping in that regard.

 

I think I feel slightly better than last week when it all started and most evenings are almost normal. Yesterday I felt shit until 6pm and then until I went to sleep I was really calm and felt 80-90% normal. That gives me hope.

Today I woke up at 7 with less symptoms than normal and could sleep for another hour which was not possible at all the since it started last week. When I woke up again I felt the symptoms stronger again.

 

I will decide about reinstating today or tomorrow.

 

Unless your symptoms significantly worsen, reinstatement is not what I would do given that:

 

• You're a little over 2 months off
• You already have periods of feeling close to normal
• You are sleeping

 

Hey, an update on my situation on day 17 after symptoms started.

 

I decided not to reinstate.

 

For the first 14 days every morning felt like shit with the strong physical panic/anxiety/restlessness. This went away most evenings.

I felt like a 1/10 (bad) in the morning and evenings were like an 8/10.

On day 15 there was a change. The morning panic is mostly gone but the evenings aren't as good anymore as well.

So instead of going from 1/10 to 8/10 throughout the day. It feels more like being between 4/10 and 6/10 for the whole day.

 

I feel like my mental symptoms have more room because of this. I also noticed more derealisation again. I had problems with that on and off for a couple years. I think also before i was on the drugs.

 

Current symptoms (They feel more like classic anxiety/depression to me than the strong withdrawal symptoms in the first 14 days)

Pretty anxious and unsure what to do with life

feeling empty

Negative thoughts

hopelessness

appetite is still bad, maybe a little better

not as bad digestive problems

Weakness and sometimes shakiness

 

Thank you all!

 

 

 

Edited February 4Feb 4 by Ben97
added info about not reinstating

Hey Ben

 

Thanks for your update.

 

47 minutes ago, Ben97 said:

I decided not to reinstate.

Ok, good to know. Wish you well with stabilising your body knows what it's doing and you've shown some positive signs. This is good.

 

47 minutes ago, Ben97 said:

For the first 14 days every morning felt like shit with the strong physical panic/anxiety/restlessness. This went away most evenings.

I felt like a 1/10 (bad) in the morning and evenings were like an 8/10.

On day 15 there was a change. The morning panic is mostly gone but the evenings aren't as good anymore as well.

So instead of going from 1/10 to 8/10 throughout the day. It feels more like being between 4/10 and 6/10 for the whole day.

All so common. Cortisol in the morning giving you the panic, then it burns off in the evening giving you relief.

Its not linear so on the days where you are in a bit more of a dirty window state you look to be finding the symptoms more mild but and average. Ive had this alot. Im often 6/10. Not good not bad......

 

47 minutes ago, Ben97 said:

I feel like my mental symptoms have more room because of this. I also noticed more derealisation again. I had problems with that on and off for a couple years. I think also before i was on the drugs.

 

DPDR I also have had quite alot of. Still get it a bit here and there. I did have it years ago long before meds. Mine then was due to stress now its drug damage.

 

47 minutes ago, Ben97 said:

Current symptoms (They feel more like classic anxiety/depression to me than the strong withdrawal symptoms in the first 14 days)

Pretty anxious and unsure what to do with life

feeling empty

Negative thoughts

hopelessness

appetite is still bad, maybe a little better

not as bad digestive problems

Weakness and sometimes shakiness

 

It could be of course but I also think that its more likely mild Anxiety and Depression from WDs and it just feels less intense atm.

 

Have a read Relapse or Withdrawal? &  Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

All these other symptoms are just classic WD. 

 

Hope this eases a bit soon

 

Chippy

 

Periods of 8/10 are a good sign at days and not months off.

 

Hopefully over time you will have more better periods.