Hi everyone,

just finished my "drug history" and wanted to pop in to say hi.

 

2026 is the year for me to face whatever it takes to get off these meds that make me so sick. So grateful to have some support.

 

Drug History;

 

January 2001...I rue the day I agreed to "support my recovery" with drugs...

first cocktail: klonopin, depakote, wellbutrin

on and off the things ever since, but never had a successful taper because every doctor said,

 

"YOU ARE REALLY SICK AND MUST STAY ON MEDS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE."

 

Of course now I know...this is PISH.

 

But I kept going back on because I wanted the suffering to stop---mostly EXTREME INSOMNIA.

 

So grateful for the increased understanding of the physiology of TRAUMA.

 

Currently tapering off 3.5 mg paroxetine. On other meds to support this beast of a taper. In the past I have tapered paxil last. Current doc says "let's try another way."

Hey mars!
 

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinion which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in ADs withdrawal.

 

Please familiarise yourself with the forum rules and the disclaimer located here: https://antidepressantrecovery.org/guidelines/

Are you on surviving antidepressants I couldn’t see you there?

 

Thanks for filling in your drug history. I’ve moved this to your post above as it was better suited there. 
 

Could I ask you to fill out your signature with all the drugs, dates and doses you can remember? 
We try to keep it short and to the point as this shows up under every post you make. The idea is we can see quickly what you are and have taken. 

From what you’ve written already I can see you’ve been through a lot. We all relate to your experience of the medical profession for sure. 
 

Would you be able to give us a more detailed account of your experience so far and an update of how you are now?

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

Speak soon

 

Chippy

Thank you for joining.

 

As @Chippy has asked, could you give us more details about the other drugs you are on and the symptoms you are experiencing, as well as how you are tapering and how that's going?

Hi Chippy and Luke,

 

Oh MY! A list of drugs I've been on and off of starting in 2001...I'm afraid I do not remember anything except the first three, but I dont' remember doses.

 

I'll work on updated the "byline"with  as I get to know ya'll.

 

Finally, I haven't been on the other forum, except for reading and my introduction. I'm rather shy of online communities. Please be patient with me!

5 hours ago, mars said:

Hi Chippy and Luke,

 

Oh MY! A list of drugs I've been on and off of starting in 2001...I'm afraid I do not remember anything except the first three, but I dont' remember doses.

 

I'll work on updated the "byline"with  as I get to know ya'll.

 

Finally, I haven't been on the other forum, except for reading and my introduction. I'm rather shy of online communities. Please be patient with me!

Hey @mars

 

There is no hurry or pressure at all. 
 

You are VERY welcome here and can post as much or as little as you like. 
 

Chippy

@mars

 

No problem.

 

Rather than a complete history spanning decades, perhaps a little more detail on your current taper and how that's been going?

 

That way, if you need support or want to hear the thoughts of others down the line, they have some information to go on.

Thank you all for the gracious replies. Yes, I am quite internet shy. Not all forums are...well...um. Let's just say I've had experiences.

 

I am currently on 3.4 mg paroxetine. My prescriber and pharmacy set me up with tablets and a liquid so I can follow that brass monkey protocol pretty closely.

 

I'm starting all that this week. With the 10 mg tablets I had been cutting them in half, then quarters and then getting off. It all came back to bite me.

 

do ya'll want me to put the other drugs in the biline? Or is this specifically for SSRIs/antidepressants? All the others I'm on fall into differnt categories.

 

Thanks!

On 1/30/2026 at 8:18 PM, mars said:

Let's just say I've had experiences.

No fear of that here I promise. 
 

Looks like you’ve got your head around your taper plan. Gear stuff. 
 

it’s pretty useful to add a full history (but condensed for obvious reasons) in there. We don’t take these things in a vacuum so a full picture is good. 

Thank you, Chippy.

I just re-read the guidelines. I was looking for a "blog" option...and ...here it is!

 

The more I read, the more grateful I get to be here. I wasn't very active on S.A. So the level of support and positive tone (despite IMMENSE suffering) has been surprising.

 

I'm also surprised at how many of my symptoms have been shared by so many. For years, I believed doctors, perhaps well-meaning, but certainly ill-educated. Sigh. I wish I had found the truth earlier in my life. Yet, to have found it at all is a gift.

 

I am suffering mostly intense fatigue these days. I live in South Florida, which had a few days of much lower than average temperatures. Going outside has been the last thing I wanted to do. Now that its warm again, I have to gin up the will to get off this bed. LOL

 

I'm a BIG Pilates Evangelist. Yoga never suited me. Pilates was designed, originally, as a rehab practice, and the more I learn, the more I love it!! So, I have an at home Pilates work out (a gentle one) scheduled for later today. I have to rouse myself for that, also. The dizziness, sinus pain, nausea (rather migraine type of symptoms) make it hard to get onto the mat. But I always feel better when I do.

 

I never had migraines before these meds. And people have written about muscle pain being a withdrawal symptom, too. So...who knows? I enjoy it all! LOL

 

 

 

 

12 hours ago, mars said:

The more I read, the more grateful I get to be here. I wasn't very active on S.A. So the level of support and positive tone (despite IMMENSE suffering) has been surprising.

Glad to hear this.

 

12 hours ago, mars said:

I am suffering mostly intense fatigue these days. I live in South Florida, which had a few days of much lower than average temperatures. Going outside has been the last thing I wanted to do. Now that its warm again, I have to gin up the will to get off this bed. LOL

Im sorry to hear this. I empathise about the weather. Better days are coming for sure. Will help in many ways. Good to get some fresh air!

 

12 hours ago, mars said:

I'm a BIG Pilates Evangelist. Yoga never suited me. Pilates was designed, originally, as a rehab practice, and the more I learn, the more I love it!! So, I have an at home Pilates work out (a gentle one) scheduled for later today. I have to rouse myself for that, also. The dizziness, sinus pain, nausea (rather migraine type of symptoms) make it hard to get onto the mat. But I always feel better when I do.

 

I never had migraines before these meds. And people have written about muscle pain being a withdrawal symptom, too. So...who knows? I enjoy it all! LOL

 

I cant say I have any experience with either but we must each find our comping strategies and it sounds like you are working well on yours. Migraines are the worse. I get alot of head pressure, burning brain and so on so I relate. I had alot of dizzyness and nausea in the early days but that has mostly passed. 

 

Lovely to have you here. We are all here supporting one another. 🙂 

Severe fatigue absolutely plagued me and was the main symptom of my withdrawal, along with generally being immensely physically ill.

 

I also experienced muscle and joint pains, which are pretty much gone and only occasionally pop up in flare ups.

 

These are withdrawal symptoms for you too, in my opinion.

Hi @marswelcome, and whilst it’s unfortunate that you’re in this position we are glad to have here and to be of support for you during your tapering process. 
 

I’m not entirely familiar with Brass Monkey’s taper protocol but hopefully it utilises a slow tapering method, as long as you’re tapering slowly to minimise as much complications on your nervous system and brain the better. I have no doubt you’ll be out of this hell within time. 
 

Try to be kind on yourself, be patient and trust the process, you’ll bounce back from this. Lean on the forum and us for support and remember that you’re not alone. 
 

As far as your symptoms goes just remember that if your nervous system is highly sensitised and dysregulated a symptom can arise from any part of your body, or organ. So muscle pain and migraines are far from an uncommon occurrence. I myself have had almost any symptom that you can throw at a medical book, a disease or condition? Name one, my withdrawal has probably mimic’d it to a tee… I’ve had multiple MRI’s, CT scans, comprehensive blood work, seen numerous specialists, and nothing. It’s all withdrawal related. 

Thank you so much for this encouraging and informative post. I'm dizzy a lot and quite unproductive.  I can never hear "take it easy" type messages too much. 

I'm sorry for your suffering.  Clearly,  you know what you're talking about.  Bless you for blessing others with your experience. 

I am also grateful to chippy and Luke for the detailed replies. I'm crying with that odd combination of relief and feeling understood and sadness and surprise.  I've suffered these effects  SO LONG and no one ever validated me before you guys. 

 Been reading everyone's stories...I relate a lot yet...

I feel a bit different in that my symptoms start ( fatigue, headaches,  nausea, dizziness) as soon as the drug takes effect.  Getting off caused severe insomnia after about 4 months clean. But I felt great otherwise in those 4 months! No restless legs, no infections,  natural sleep. 

 

I'm a delayed responder in every way. I don't feel cuts because I'm ALWAYS sick anyway as long as I'm on Paxil. 

 

I am on other drugs to mitigate the terrible insomnia that resulted in getting off Paxil 4 other times. 

 

And the ever pharma pushing professionals always told me I had to live with being sick.

 

But thanks to this forum, I know the extreme insomnia was a nervous system injury from the meds.  

 

I wasn't the best sleeper before the meds.  I had trauma to work through.  But I did sleep.

 

THEN,, after 40 YEARS of trauma recovery,  my "trauma" was worse, they said. HA! Yes, I'm angry. It was withdrawal the WHOLE TIME!

 

Hope this makes sense.

 

 

Hey @mars answering you here.

first, so sorry for everything you went through and for being denied by doctors over and over again, we've all been through it unfortunately.

Paxil is a beast but others will swear by it regarding their medicine so in the end it's all the same, poison.

I tried to quit many times but I collapsed and found myself drugged with all kinds families, ssri, snri, antipsychotics, stabilizers and what not but always returned to Paxil and like you, I suffered while on it and very much without it, withdrawal clearly, at the time there was no name for it or anyone to validate this nightmare.

Im trying to figure out your history but can't find any details, maybe I missed some info? I'm not sure, but anyways I do see that you are on a low dose now and the closer you get to the end the tougher it gets, it's necessary to be more cautious in terms of cut dosage and timing.

It's important to know more details like, from how much Paxil you started the taper from, during how long, dosages, as well as other meds you're taking so that members here can help you. If you could fill that in your signature, that would be great.

 

Edited February 8Feb 8 by Fullhealing

Thanks @Fullhealing full healing for the validation and support.  

 

I wonder if you might be more specific about what information you'd like to see in my history/signature.  I've listed the things you mentioned already...I'm pretty sure. Thanks!

P.s. I do notice that my signature after posts doesn't show everything I wrote. What am I doing wrong?

Pps...I give up. I don't know how to edit my signature.  I go to my profile and I don't see it. Help!

58 minutes ago, mars said:

don't know how to edit my signature

Click the 3 lines at the top right…then click Account, then click Account Settings. Now you should see signature in the left column….click that, fill it out and save. ❤️🙏

Edited February 9Feb 9 by LostinCanada

9 hours ago, mars said:

I am also grateful to chippy and Luke for the detailed replies. I'm crying with that odd combination of relief and feeling understood and sadness and surprise.  I've suffered these effects  SO LONG and no one ever validated me before you guys. 

You’re validated here. We all understand @mars

Thanks everyone.  Got my signature changed. Yay! 

 

It's painful facing this stuff, ain't it? To think that so many professionals piled on me this suffering.  Unintentionally,  I know. 

 

I recently learned about game theory.  Our medical establishment is stuck in a "we've always done it this way " game and very few are willing to go against this game, even when they know it's harmful.  

 

Now that I understand this reality of societal behavior I feel less weird...

 

I've always been a maverick.  I did volunteer meetings in a treatment  center when I was off meds and doing well. When I shared that meds and mental illness diagnoses may not be accurate or helpful,  I got HUGE pushback. Some People feel safe on these pills. Game theory...though I forgot the specific game in this case.

HI everyone,

I wouldn't mind some feedback and/or reading recommendations regarding my history.

 

Perhaps withdrawal paranoia is kicking in, but I haven't seen anyone else mention a similar history. MY SYMPTOMS (called "side effects" by pharma) start as soon as as I get the drug in my system.

 

In other words, when I go back on Paxil, it takes about 12 weeks for it to "work"/my anxiety to calm. So, that feels "good." But also at that time, I begin getting infections, (increasing in frequency/duration the longer I am on the drug) restless leg syndrome, IBS...and all those niggling things.

 

Ya'll mention these symptoms as "withdrawal". But I don't get them when I reduce. I already have them. In the past when I've tapered off, I feel great for a few months off the drug (four to five) and then BAM! I'm hit with the inability to sleep....for months...which leads to anxiety and depression and just feeling like crap.

 

None of this happens in a vacuum, but the remarkable thing is that the pattern repeats. It happened in 2018/2022/2023/2024...and this time, I'm hoping (cuz ya'll taught me to get off the Paxil FIRST and THEN the sedatives) that the pattern will be a bit different.

 

Has anyone encountered a similar pattern, i.e. feeling sick BEFORE reducing, and then feeling good once off and then..."BAM!  HELL! "   

 

Thanks so much.

 

P.S. In the other room my husband is watching a documentary about space exploration. The music is triumphant and majestic and rousing.  I think we all deserve to have a majestic/triumphant theme song playing in the background of our journeys. A soundtrack that reminds us that we are frigging ADVENTURERS and EXPLORERS of the inner worlds facing DRAGONS and ENEMIES and STORMS and rough terrain. WE ARE HEROES.

Edited February 11Feb 11 by mars
typo...parentheses

28 minutes ago, mars said:

, when I go back on Paxil,

What year did you start taking paroxetine?

29 minutes ago, mars said:

feeling sick BEFORE reducing, and then feeling good once off

This is what usually happens when tapering from poop out.

30 minutes ago, mars said:

then..."BAM!  HELL! "

Even in poop out you still get withdrawal if you taper to quickly.

 

Maybe something in here can help you to discern if this is what is happening.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/437-tolerance-or-poop-out-or-tachyphylaxis/?do=findComment&comment=4328

 

❤️🙏

13 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

13 hours ago, mars said:

the first time, around .2019. switched from prozac. before that celexa, which caused falls. then off then on in 2022

What year did you start taking paroxetine?