On 3/18/2026 at 9:14 AM, Chippy said:

How have you been @Erimus?

Not good. Just hanging on by a thread and trying to survive.

2 minutes ago, Erimus said:

Not good. Just hanging on by a thread and trying to survive.

I’m sorry @Erimus to hear this. We all understand. It’s a rough old journey. How are you spending your time? Distractions so important I imagine you’ve got some good routines going by now?

On 3/23/2026 at 3:53 PM, Chippy said:

I’m sorry @Erimus to hear this. We all understand. It’s a rough old journey. How are you spending your time? Distractions so important I imagine you’ve got some good routines going by now?

Distraction was easier last year because I found I could fight the akathisia and jolts by sitting at the computer for long hours each day.

 

Sadly I developed repetitive strain in my hand from using the mouse so since mid Jan I have been lost. The fatigue is also much worse now. 

 

This is the longest period of withdrawal/instability I’ve experienced so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do next. 
 

Dropping from 100 to 50mg all those years ago led to a violent withdrawal but at least it was over after 12 months. This has been 15 months now for just 2.5mg.

Edited March 30Mar 30 by Erimus

I’ve also tried reducing by just 0.1mg in an attempt to find a quantity I can reduce without feeling like I’m worsening my condition. 
 

Next week I have my second appointment with the deprescribing clinic. There suggestion to reduce 0.3mg every two weeks is just too extreme in my current state. 

Edited March 30Mar 30 by Erimus

1 minute ago, Erimus said:

Distraction was easier last year because I found I could fight the akathisia and jolts by sitting at the computer for long hours each day.

Im glad you found something to do during that period at least.

 

2 minutes ago, Erimus said:

Sadly I developed repetitive strain in my hand from using the mouse so since mid Jan I have been lost. The fatigue is also much worse now. 

Im very sorry to hear this. Have you looked into other ways to interface with the computer that might work for you? Im too clued up on it all, maybe voice activated or some specialist keyboard/mouse to help avoid this?

 

1 minute ago, Erimus said:

’ve also tried reducing by just 0.1mg in an attempt to find a quantity I can reduce without feeling like I’m worsening my condition. 

I can see, 21 Mar. How has that been so far?

Hi @Erimus I remember your name from SA ...just thinking about what you said about akathisia and jolts and sitting at the computer for long hours for distraction  and fighting it . What if all you were doing was delaying the inevitable and also all that screen time . Maybe now you are not on the computer so much all that was built up is now coming out ..just a random thought.   Hope it all settles for you soon and you find a bit of peace 

Another random thought 😆 I think distraction and coping skills definitely come into it and help  but also letting go and processing the symptons need to happen if we keep fighting against what needs to be released just gets bottled up inside ourselves like a time bomb ..apologies rambling again 😁

Edited March 30Mar 30 by Beehive

7 hours ago, Beehive said:

Hi @Erimus I remember your name from SA ...just thinking about what you said about akathisia and jolts and sitting at the computer for long hours for distraction  and fighting it . What if all you were doing was delaying the inevitable and also all that screen time . Maybe now you are not on the computer so much all that was built up is now coming out ..just a random thought.   Hope it all settles for you soon and you find a bit of peace 

 

Maybe screen time is bad but it’s the only way I can pass the time and cope with my situation.
 

To be honest when I have akathisia it’s just about doing whatever is best for my survival. The months from July-December went by faster than anything prior. 
 

The symptoms just seem to bottle up until I explode into a crash, if anything it’s better for me to crash sooner because it’s the only way my system seems to move forward after reducing too much. 

@ErimusI don't know you yet, but want to send you some warmth and let you know I will think of you this week. I am so sorry about the extent of your suffering. I think no one can know what this is like until they've been in it.

Do you or are you able to go out for walks and move just to maybe release some of that energy . It must be so tough to drop by so little and get hit so hard . Do you think its  now showing up from stuff that happened months ago and not necessarily from the small cuts now .

8 minutes ago, Beehive said:

Do you think its  now showing up from stuff that happened months ago and not necessarily from the small cuts now .

Yes, it’s from the 4.5% drop in January last year.

 

Until my system fully crashes it’s just stuck in this perpetual state of withdrawal where I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.

 

I could try and force a crash by going back to once daily dosing but I just don’t want to feel even worse than I do now.

9 hours ago, Chippy said:

I can see, 21 Mar. How has that been so far?

I don’t think I’m any worse but as usual it’s pretty hard to tell.

 

All the tapering I’ve done since the 4.5% drop in January 2025 has just felt wrong because I don’t think I’ve reached the bottom yet. 
 

I find it hard to just sit here and do nothing though, especially when I already did a 7.5 month hold last year.

All I can think is that you are so highly sensitised to this medication . I know we are all different and react differently but for me personally I didn't have any massive problems until I got to under 5mg ,I'm just reading through your thread to try and understand why you react so badly . The sert occupancy is still quite high . I'm certainly not bragging but was doing bigger drops with not a lot of issue .Maybe it's to do with how you metabolise the drug . Some people feel a drop straight away I don't it usually takes a while not sure if that makes me a slow or fast metaboliser. I really do feel for you.  I am by no means suggesting this at all but reading what Jack said there are a percentage of people out there that heal better off the drug but that's like playing Russian roulette 

13 hours ago, Erimus said:

I don’t think I’m any worse but as usual it’s pretty hard to tell.

 

All the tapering I’ve done since the 4.5% drop in January 2025 has just felt wrong because I don’t think I’ve reached the bottom yet. 
 

I find it hard to just sit here and do nothing though, especially when I already did a 7.5 month hold last year.

Well that is good, but I appreciate its not easy to be sure. Maybe you can keep that up. Moving in the right direction then, albeit very slowly.

 

What do you mean by crash? Do you mean symptoms get to their peak level? And that is when you find things ease?

 

I can understand that. Although I have not experienced things as badly as you have, I empathise with the frustration and suffering, on a daily basis.

I'm so very sorry that you are suffering so much @Erimus my heart goes out to you.

It is indeed a great mystery what causes what and uncertainty is definitely unhelpful. I wish there were clear answers for all of that but it's not the case.

I can only send you a lot of support on your journey ahead and remind you that you're much stronger than you feel, the fact that you're still here is a proof for that.

Don't lose hope for a sec, things can change for the better in an instant even after such prolonged suffering.

We are all here with you!

Edited March 31Mar 31 by Fullhealing

18 hours ago, Beehive said:

All I can think is that you are so highly sensitised to this medication . I know we are all different and react differently but for me personally I didn't have any massive problems until I got to under 5mg ,I'm just reading through your thread to try and understand why you react so badly . The sert occupancy is still quite high . I'm certainly not bragging but was doing bigger drops with not a lot of issue .Maybe it's to do with how you metabolise the drug . Some people feel a drop straight away I don't it usually takes a while not sure if that makes me a slow or fast metaboliser. I really do feel for you.  I am by no means suggesting this at all but reading what Jack said there are a percentage of people out there that heal better off the drug but that's like playing Russian roulette 

The receptor occupancy stuff just doesn’t align with my experience.
 

The reductions I’ve made in the last 2 years have made such minimal changes to occupancy but the symptoms have been catastrophic. 
 

I haven’t found anyone that’s had such an extreme withdrawal reaction to an SSRI, to be honest. 
 

It just feels like I’m being poisoned with toxic levels of serotonin, that’s the best way I can describe the last 5.5 years on sertraline. 

5 hours ago, Chippy said:

What do you mean by crash?

A crash is when you taper faster than your brain can manage, usually resulting in some spike of severe symptoms as the nervous system collapses under the strain. 
 

My last big crash was August 2024 after I tapered from 60 to 52.5mg in around 4 months. It resulted in severe akathisia and that’s when the violent jolts began. 

Edited March 31Mar 31 by Erimus

If there is such a test ? Have you been tested for Serotonin Syndrome ?

Edited March 31Mar 31 by Beehive

40 minutes ago, Erimus said:

The receptor occupancy stuff just doesn’t align with my experience.
 

The reductions I’ve made in the last 2 years have made such minimal changes to occupancy but the symptoms have been catastrophic. 
 

I haven’t found anyone that’s had such an extreme withdrawal reaction to an SSRI, to be honest. 
 

It just feels like I’m being poisoned with toxic levels of serotonin, that’s the best way I can describe the last 5.5 years on sertraline. 

I have seen acute cases like yours that have managed to recover and I am not just writing for comfort @Erimus I can copy you a link to such stories if you feel it will provide you with additional support.

In any case, my full believe is that our system always does its best to return to a healthy baseline, so even now, while you are suffering terribly, it is doing exactly that.

I will pray that you turn a corner, it can certainly happen unexpectedly, keep being strong, this will eventually end.

Edited March 31Mar 31 by Fullhealing

1 hour ago, Erimus said:

A crash is when you taper faster than your brain can manage, usually resulting in some spike of severe symptoms as the nervous system collapses under the strain. 

Sounds horrendous Erimus. So what happens after your crashes in the past? How many times have you crashed?

17 hours ago, Erimus said:

The receptor occupancy stuff just doesn’t align with my experience.

 

I think it would be fair to say that:

• It can be observed that a number of people (not necessarily all) find reducing their doses harder at low doses
• Receptor occupancy charts show trends of changing more significantly at low doses for many/most psychiatric drugs
• This has been posited as a THEORY to explain the first bullet point

I think it's important for people to keep in mind that next to no objective testing, scientific research etc is being done on this and that the money in the industry is obviously not being spent on serious efforts to prove how dangerous its own products are.

 

It is good that some withdrawal-focused clinicians are trying to pick out trends in people's experiences that do match objective measurements that they can take, but this is by no means a complete theory and the mechanisms behind withdrawal are poorly understood to say the least.

 

 

Your experience is completely valid and the observation of some trends among an incredibly poorly understood phenomenon, when all of us are different as well is by no means definitive.

 

You know your own body, and are in the unique position of feeling how it responds. I think you're right to focus on how you can improve your own wellbeing based on what you know from this and the information available to you.

7 minutes ago, Luke said:

Your experience is completely valid and the observation of some trends among an incredibly poorly understood phenomenon, when all of us are different as well is by no means definitive.

100%, sert occupancy needs to be taken as a little part of the puzzle. Many can get down to 50mg of Sertraline with ease, yet I have seen people on close to 100mg of Sertraline and feel a 0.2mg drop. It doesnt track for all.

I suppose we get drawn into all these theories and speculations and graphs yes hands up from me as maybe a sign of desperation thinking something is going to click and hoping something is going to help you out of this mess . Yes I've said myself there isn't one size fits all we are all genetically different.  But other times I have hung onto something someone said or did thinking it would help in some way. I suppose the reality is take it one day at a time and listen to your body 

On 3/31/2026 at 5:25 PM, Chippy said:

Sounds horrendous Erimus. So what happens after your crashes in the past? How many times have you crashed?

Major crashes I’ve probably had 3 or 4 since 2021. December 2021, Oct 2022, Aug 2024.

 

Major crashes are followed by loads of minor crashes that happen every few weeks.
 

After a crash is just a slow journey back to withdrawal normal with symptoms that gradually fluctuate less extremely over time.
 

I’ve been waiting for 15 months now to get back to withdrawal normal, hence why I’ve tried small reductions over the last 12 months. 

Edited April 2Apr 2 by Erimus

It’s a good job we can’t see into the future, because if somebody had told me 5 years ago today that I would still be suffering in 5 years time, I wouldn’t have survived. 
 

It’s almost exactly 5 years to the day since I first tried dropping from 100 to 50mg.
 

At the time I had been on the drug for just a few months, and wrongly assumed I could just drop the same way I titrated up.

 

This led to what can only be described as the most horrific experience a person can endure. 

Edited April 2Apr 2 by Erimus