20 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

I found ERP to be very helpful. You can practice it gradually, resisting compulsive behavior by just a few minutes at first, till you get more comfortable not automatically acting on your thoughts.

Yes I've been trying to do ERP but my anxiety is so high, it's hard to resist doing the compulsion or checking. It's been so hard and I can barely do anything without being triggered.

4 hours ago, ExLexaBro said:

Yes I've been trying to do ERP but my anxiety is so high, it's hard to resist doing the compulsion or checking. It's been so hard and I can barely do anything without being triggered.

I've found the word "but" in recovery is dangerous. Your anxious mind wants to maintain control and will use "but" to convince you that you can't do anything. Try to turn your negative statements around by telling yourself "I've been trying to do ERP and its been difficult to overcome the compulsion to check. I know ERP will help me with this so I need to practice the techniques. Its okay to start small".

Don't try to resist the compulsive thoughts. That just gives them more power. Allow them to enter your mind but don't give them the right to get traction in your head. They are just thoughts. When I was in WD. I would make a list of to-do's before I left the office to make sure I shut off the lights and my computer because I was afraid I'd leave them on and start a fire. Then one day I got busy and forgot to make the list, and lo and behold the building didn't burn down. Then I realized the thoughts meant nothing unless I reacted to them. I also did some reality checking; if the lights started a fire, it had nothing to do with me leaving then on--there would have been something wrong with the lights. Plus the custodians turned them back on to clean anyway. OCD creates realities that don't exist anywhere but in your anxious mind.

Thanks @mstimc60 ,

this is really helpful. My anxious mind is controlling me. Whilst I don't necessarily act on my thoughts, they are relentless and creating so much misery. The but word I also use. Like 'but' I am in withdrawal and this is way harder than anxiety not in withdrawal.

I hope I get through as it is so painful and scary.

5 minutes ago, Tracey said:

Thanks @mstimc60 ,

this is really helpful. My anxious mind is controlling me. Whilst I don't necessarily act on my thoughts, they are relentless and creating so much misery. The but word I also use. Like 'but' I am in withdrawal and this is way harder than anxiety not in withdrawal.

I hope I get through as it is so painful and scary.

Hi @Tracey Yes, WD makes all emotions far more intense. When I was in WD, I came up with some obsessive thoughts that were totally detached from reality. Looking back, some of my fears were laughable, but they were incredibly serious and overwhelming at the time. As you make progress in your recovery, the thoughts will ratchet down.

5 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

Hi @Tracey Yes, WD makes all emotions far more intense. When I was in WD, I came up with some obsessive thoughts that were totally detached from reality. Looking back, some of my fears were laughable, but they were incredibly serious and overwhelming at the time. As you make progress in your recovery, the thoughts will ratchet down.

Because I have a lot of huge change and real stressors, mine do have some rational basis. However they are just too intense. 😞

On 6/27/2026 at 8:23 PM, Tracey said:

Because I have a lot of huge change and real stressors, mine do have some rational basis. However they are just too intense. 😞

I think all OCD thoughts have some basis in reality. The difference is our obsessive thoughts blow them out of proportion and turn some very unlikely possibilities into realities created by our fears. You may have a washing compulsion to avoid contamination, but realistically, if this was a common problem there would be a lot more sick people in the world. If leaving a light on caused a fire, almost all the buildings would have burned down. Trying to practice reality checking can help put the obsessive thoughts into perspective.

mstimc60, Just reading through your success story, it was wonderful to read. Especially all you endured. Glad your blood pressure is good, mine also tends to raise when I see the Doctor. Definitely a anxious thing. I tend to manage that the further along I go in my recovery. So true when you said its not out thoughts and we need to let them be present and pass in time, as uncomfortable as it might be it's part of the process. It took a while for me but have gotten way better in letting them come and go and not react, took some doing but managed. Again, congratulations on your success making it through, it is definitely encouraging.

9 minutes ago, Bernadette said:

mstimc60, Just reading through your success story, it was wonderful to read. Especially all you endured. Glad your blood pressure is good, mine also tends to raise when I see the Doctor. Definitely a anxious thing. I tend to manage that the further along I go in my recovery. So true when you said its not out thoughts and we need to let them be present and pass in time, as uncomfortable as it might be it's part of the process. It took a while for me but have gotten way better in letting them come and go and not react, took some doing but managed. Again, congratulations on your success making it through, it is definitely encouraging.

Thank you @Bernadette! I was blessed with finding a great therapist who helped me with a CBT toolbox and held me accountable for practicing them. It took three years, but I did recover. I may still get the thoughts because that's the way my brain is wired, but that doesn't mean I need to let them control me anymore.

@mstimc60 just a quick question for you. So last night had this weird feeling in my stomach just below my sternum then went to left side, kinda like indigestion, but then got nauseated to my stomach like I was gonna vomit, then it travelled up to middle of chest, and started having increased heart beats. And today when I got home from camping I still experience pain just in my left side of stomach, almost like I ate to much. I've been drinking a lot of water today, and was cautious of the foods I ate , but still pain in left side. You experience anything like this. I'm caulking it up as WD but still if it doesn't get better in a few days I may rethink it.

Hi @Bernadette Of course I’m not a doctor, but my first instinct is to chalk it up to WD and maybe the change in diet from camping. The moving around and jump in your heart rate seems to suggest it’s not any one thing like food poisoning (and you probably would have barfed up a lung by now). I’ve found a heating pad to be very comforting for the random midsection pains. You might try that when you go to bed.

@mstimc60 thank you so very much for replying so quickly, I'll definitely try this now. Thank you again my dear friend. ❤️

Just now, Bernadette said:

@mstimc60 thank you so very much for replying so quickly, I'll definitely try this now. Thank you again my dear friend. ❤️

My absolute pleasure! Let me know how you’re doing.

Good morning @mstimc60 , well my stomach pain has finally decided to settle down, ooh my goodness it was like someone was twisting and tearing my insides apart , it was the most unpleasant and painful thing i've had in a long while, and of course I absolutely don't trust Doctors because they just wanna throw another pill at you. I do wanna say I did the heating pad and laxative and helped with the pain and move things along if you get what I mean. So again from the bottom of my heart thank you for helping me ease my pains. You are such a kind and gentle soul. So on to a mor ha ha note, not sure if the stomach issues were from the food I ate or maybe because it was or Anniversary this weekend and my husband and I did a little dance if you get my gist'. I'm blaming it on him, at least that's what I told him🤣🤣 I can laugh about it now but 3 days ago, not so funny. I did end up using 3 FMLA days, I don't like to use any, but in this circumstance it was understandable. I was able to finally eat a apple with some plain Greek yogurt and its been staying down. Like the old saying goes "An apple a day keeps the Doctor away ". Later on I'll try some oatmeal and just keep it simple, no need to disrupt things. So for now I'll water my flowers outside, take my dog Jayquelln for a walk, and scrub my bathroom walls, and just putts" around the house getting some things done before my daughter Kelly come for a visit on Saturday with her husband Cullin, were going to get the gift baskets put together for her baby shower in September which I'm excited to do for her. There having a boy and naming him Elliott. I am truly blessed. ❤️

I'm so glad my advice seemed to help! I swear there are few things that Advil and a heating pad can't cure! 😅Keeping busy will help, too. Its great when adult kids come to visit. Our son left a couple weeks ago to go back to DC and we won't see him in the flesh till Christmas. We talk to him almost every day but its not the same. Enjoy!

@mstimc60 thank you for sharing your success story! I still very much appreciate all the support you gave me during me taper on SA (survivingantidepressants.org). I very much agree, it's important to deal with the stuff that got us on the drugs in the first place. I haven't read your whole thread, and I hope you are doing well today.

Great to hear from you and see you here as well, @getofflex . Its a bumpy journey but we'll make it!

Hey mstimc60 :),

What a nice read, I really enjoyed reading your success story. Thank your for sharing it with the world. You seem to have been through a lot and still have a great sense of humor. I like your humor, it made me laugh although I am in paw. I am happy for all your great successes, med free and handling what lead you to take meds at the same time. And I hope to read more from you soon. Thanks again for your encouraging story and writing. Hope you are doing well

3 minutes ago, Glimmery said:

Hey mstimc60 :),

What a nice read, I really enjoyed reading your success story. Thank your for sharing it with the world. You seem to have been through a lot and still have a great sense of humor. I like your humor, it made me laugh although I am in paw. I am happy for all your great successes, med free and handling what lead you to take meds at the same time. And I hope to read more from you soon. Thanks again for your encouraging story and writing. Hope you are doing well

Thank you, @Glimmery Its been a tough road but worth the journey. And sometimes when we're in WD we put ourselves in such ridiculous situations that the only option is to laugh at ourselves! Recovery is possible for anyone and everyone!

Heyy. What a quick reply :). Yeahh laughing is like a super medicine, when one is able to. I agree that while in WD we tend to put ourselves in funny sitiuations, even though they make or made sense to us at that time. Great mindset @mstimc60 .

Wow, what a story! Glad that you got out of this horror.

I'm suffering from PAWS after decreasing my Paroxetine dosage and now I'm only on Pregabalin (350mg daily). I think I'm starting to see the waves / windows now. For example: Feeling very bad for 7 days straight, then 3 days better.

I wonder how you felt about it when things got better:

• Did the good windows last longer?

• Did you find yourself feeling less anxious as each window went by?

• How did you realise that you were really feeling better and that you were on the right track?

Hi @tanos75 Yes, I began to notice small improvements that seemed very subtle at first. But when I looked back over several months I could see how much progress I’d made over time. That’s key; you have to accept recovery is a long term process and not expect immediate and huge changes. Achieving small goals over a longer period makes progress seem more manageable. It’s a tough lesson to learn but worth the effort!

I saw ERP mentioned and wanted to add that I started ERP in 2010 when I was diagnosed with OCD (housebound with stress induced chest pains too at 25).

I won't say it's easy at the start but it really works. You get a deeper sense of who you are and how to respond to distress and uncertainty. Soon you find it easier to give attention to things that matter, and the brain makes new pathways. I look back at all the times I 'fed the OCD monster', and a bit like learning to ride a bike you get good at ignoring the fear, eventually you're going places and succeeding with new focus and energy.

It's just a shame I was given Lexapro at the same time 😆.

Best of luck to you.