Hi everyone,

I was absolutely terrified of taking any more medications, but I couldn't go on living like that. The visceral anxiety, the strange feeling in my head, the panic attacks, the 24/7 agitation, and everything else you already know about. Remeron (mirtazapine) had completely devastated me. I had only reduced it by 10% and I felt horribly ill for two months, getting worse day by day. Out of sheer desperation, I went to the hospital and was admitted. I was terrified of medications, absolutely frozen with fear. But fortunately, they worked for me and allowed me to completely discontinue Remeron (mirtazapine), which was literally killing me. I still have tinnitus and pain all over my body, especially frequent headaches. I know this is Remeron (mirtazapine) withdrawal, and I hope it passes soon, but it is nothing compared to how I was before. I don't know if reinstating Rivotril (clonazepam) was a good idea, but anyway, I am now back to cooking, cleaning the house, and grocery shopping without having panic attacks. I even managed to sit at the PC and make payments that I had been dragging out for two months. Let's say I'm at 50%.

The psychiatrist I was assigned to after the hospital discharge understood my extreme sensitivity to medications, and especially to withdrawals. For the time being, I am going to stay like this for a while. Reducing Levopraid (levosulpiride) was not a good idea. In fact, my psychiatrist told me to stop the reduction or, at most, just increase it by one single drop without going back to the original dosage. It really seems like she understands how tapering works. I am able to sleep, but the problem is that I have nightmares about the medications that harmed me; I feel emotionally blocked in this condition. On a positive note, I even visited a website where I used to buy clothes, which was unthinkable for me before. Tonight I am going out with my friends, something I couldn't even bear to think about doing until recently. I was lucky to find a therapy that helped me.

Thank you so much for the support you have given me. I will keep you updated.

20 minutes ago, Gilda said:

Hi everyone,

I was absolutely terrified of taking any more medications, but I couldn't go on living like that. The visceral anxiety, the strange feeling in my head, the panic attacks, the 24/7 agitation, and everything else you already know about. Remeron (mirtazapine) had completely devastated me. I had only reduced it by 10% and I felt horribly ill for two months, getting worse day by day. Out of sheer desperation, I went to the hospital and was admitted. I was terrified of medications, absolutely frozen with fear. But fortunately, they worked for me and allowed me to completely discontinue Remeron (mirtazapine), which was literally killing me. I still have tinnitus and pain all over my body, especially frequent headaches. I know this is Remeron (mirtazapine) withdrawal, and I hope it passes soon, but it is nothing compared to how I was before. I don't know if reinstating Rivotril (clonazepam) was a good idea, but anyway, I am now back to cooking, cleaning the house, and grocery shopping without having panic attacks. I even managed to sit at the PC and make payments that I had been dragging out for two months. Let's say I'm at 50%.

The psychiatrist I was assigned to after the hospital discharge understood my extreme sensitivity to medications, and especially to withdrawals. For the time being, I am going to stay like this for a while. Reducing Levopraid (levosulpiride) was not a good idea. In fact, my psychiatrist told me to stop the reduction or, at most, just increase it by one single drop without going back to the original dosage. It really seems like she understands how tapering works. I am able to sleep, but the problem is that I have nightmares about the medications that harmed me; I feel emotionally blocked in this condition. On a positive note, I even visited a website where I used to buy clothes, which was unthinkable for me before. Tonight I am going out with my friends, something I couldn't even bear to think about doing until recently. I was lucky to find a therapy that helped me.

Thank you so much for the support you have given me. I will keep you updated.

@Gilda I'm so happy for you. It must feel wonderful to have some relief and get back to life. I'm literally trapped by my meds. The slightest change and all hell breaks loose. The last 2 months of my journey have been a nightmare. So much physical pain and sheer terror. The ADs have generally locked my mood into a nothing position - no joy, no depression. However now I have a deep sense of foreboding, feeling I'll be stuck here forever.

I'll be interested to see how you progress over the next few months. Being on multiple medications just seems to complicate things for me. 🤗