12 hours ago, Feralcatman said:

So I decided to make a YouTube video to describe my experience with the mental health system and thought people might like to see it. Feel free to share this wherever you like if you feel it appropriate and with whomever you feel appropriate.

Hey @Feralcatman, thank you so much for making this video and sharing it with us. It breaks my heart that this happens to so many people, but it’s equally inspiring to see folks like you who have the strength to turn away from the system and forge their own path.

I’ve shared your video with my sister. She’s been cycling through meds for 15 years and I’m now convinced they’ve played a big role in her suffering. I just wanted to let you know that the experiences you share do make a difference 💜.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1m9RhwmWr6Y60RABElajKgQ6kZcvOuSNI/view?usp=drivesdk

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WoDVTKskl0nBptdazohLyDZlUH2JVvhN/view?usp=drivesdk

So I thought people would be interested in seeing this data from my Garmin smartwatch and it measures heart rate variability. In one image you can see the date marked August 9th which is when I did the Tegretol cut and you can clearly see my HRV starts to drop and this is a measure of autonomic nervous system function.

HRV is highly individualized from one person to another so you have to interpret it against your baseline not against a universal standard but in general reduced HRV tends to indicate an increase in sympathetic activity or activation which is what I'm experiencing . A shift towards sympathetic means a shift towards a fight or flight mode.

On the 25th I had to do a long drive to go to a couple of appointments so you can see how that affected me as well. All this tells you is that the symptoms are not in your head there are definitely physiological factors at play as far as how your nervous system responds so it's interesting to see it in real time day to day how your body responds so I thought people might find this helpful to see it. It also shows you that what pushing too hard can sometimes do though that can be unpredictable and each person varies as to how much they can withstand regardless of what the data shows and you have to go by how you feel.

I would have just posted the screenshots directly but I don't have enough room left to do it and there's no way to insert the images from the links as far as I can tell.

So overall I've been managing these cuts until maybe late winter or early spring and then you could start to see problems starting to come back. This recent cut combined with time of year and heat and humidity and overdoing it simply used up the last of my nervous system to Adaptive Reserve. These charts clearly show that so now it's time to sit tight and hold and allow my body and nervous system to recover to regain some of that adaptive reserve and then go ahead and make the last cut. At that point I'll be at 200 mg which is half a pill and from that point forward I'm just going to split pills and call it good for a long time at least a year and possibly for good because I'm pretty tired of doing this **** to myself. The side effects I was having have cleared up at the lower dose so I think I might just call it good and try and get back to just living life.

Edited August 30Aug 30 by Feralcatman

UPDATE

So, once at 200mg I've decided to just call it good and move on from this unless medical necessity dictates that I continue tapering. I'm 56 and tapering is continuing to restrict my life in ways that are just unacceptable and at the rate I can tolerate it's going to take a very long time to get off of this and will involve continued suffering and restrictions. I would have to go to a 1% taper and here are the time estimates. I did a 5mg (2.4%) cut on August 9th and am still not recovered. My adaptive reserve is completely depleted and so I will be holding for awhile until I recover enough to continue with 1% cuts for the last 5mg. That will take several months to complete.

• Every 2 weeks: 100×2=200 weeks≈100×2=200 weeks≈ 3.8 years

• Every 3 weeks: 100×3=300 weeks≈100×3=300 weeks≈ 5.8 years

• Every 4 weeks: 100×4=400 weeks≈100×4=400 weeks≈ 7.7 years

Currently, If I continue with a 1% taper I would have to do every 4 weeks. At that rate I'll be 64 and due to restrictions on exercise and activity I'll be a mess by then physically so what is the point. There will also be a long recovery time after cessation. Factoring in the Paxil and I will be tapering for a very long time. I've already been doing this since April of 2018. I want to hike, ski, do photography, and continue to build my property out here in the woods.

So, it's a choice, stabilize where I am at and live my life or continue and tapering will be my life. I want to move on and do other things. At some point I will taper off the clonidine.

I have a very extreme history with poly-pharmacy that most do not and this is the reason why this has been so hard for me. This is not the story of most who go through this.

• I was put on phenobarbital at 6 months old because I cried too much. That alone disrupted my development and stress tolerances from the very beginning.

• After that I was put on Fedahist, a combination of chlorpheniramine (a powerful 1st generation antihistamine) and pseudoephedrine (powerful decongestant which is basically speed). I was on this for many years. Also a developmental disruptor.

• From 9 to 11 y.o. I lived on a toxic waste dump and for over 2 years I was exposed to high levels of benzene and many other VOC's. I had gotten very sick and the doctors told my parents I wasn't going to make it. This was my first brush with death due to modern chemistry.

• I have an extensive abuse/neglect history including within the mental health system. This has contributed to what I call battle fatigue and altered stress response.

• I've had some extreme experiences in the military

• My 2018 hospitalization landed me in the ICU because of med changes made as an inpatient. I very nearly died. My second brush with death due to modern chemistry.

• Alcohol and drug use in my teens

• 33 years of extensive poly pharmacy which is ongoing. Including an obscene amount of drugs necessary to control all of the side effects I experienced which at the time were blamed on other causes but were in fact medication related.

• I had preexisting immune/gut issues as a young child that may in fact be some sort of Mast cell issue that is as yet undiagnosed.

• I've had genetic testing done and have some abnormalities that contribute to making this extremely difficult and hard on my body

There is more but you get the idea. My brain, body, mind, and spirit are worn out and need a break so stability is the best option for me rather than continuing down the path of continuously disrupting my nervous system. My brain and body have been wrapped around this stuff since I was very very young and the process of recovery is very slow.

I don't want people who read this to get discouraged on their own journey. Healing has happened and continues to happen. I just want to get to a stable baseline and focus on the rest of my life. Most will not have this much trouble. I'd say my case is very very rare so don't let this discourage you. Every journey is different.

I plan to make more videos like the one I posted and will start a YouTube channel for them. Once I do that I will post it here for those who are interested. I am also working on a book as well.

I'll be back one that is done.

Edited September 5Sep 5 by Feralcatman

Hey @Feralcatman, thanks for sharing. I completely understand why you want to live your life and not continue with the hell of tapering your remaining drugs. You’ve already accomplished a lot by getting to where you are, so I hope you take some pride in that.

Looking forward to following your YouTube channel and to reading your book one day 😊

@SarahMc Thank you. Yeah it's been a long haul so just the fact that I survived this long is an accomplishment so I'm happy with my choice and I'm ready for some stability in to move on and hopefully someday I'll be able to sleep correctly again I know that when I hold for a long time it does start to improve so hopefully within a couple of years I'll be able to get a good night sleep and I can work on getting my strength back and do the things I love to do before I'm too old to do them.

@Feralcatman wishing you luck with your long term hold. I hope you can gain the stablity you need to do things you love. Your hobbies are similar to mine, I relate.

I'll check out your YouTube channel when youre ready with it.

@Feralcatman

Hey FCM,

I support you 100%. I'm glad I got off these meds, but I sure have feelings about the lost time that I was incapacitated while tapering.

In talking to Dr. Shipko, he made it clear that often people who had been on meds for decades like me, it may not be possible to get to zero and stay there, that it may not even be worth trying and I should consider tapering to a small dose and calling it good.

There was no brass band waiting for me when I got to zero, and in my case I had a couple more years to go until I felt well.

I am certain you'll know if and when it's time to taper again. I'm about your age, and my mobility isn't exactly improving every year, I totally see your point in wanting to enjoy life while you're in good health.

Hope you stop by and say hello to us now and then and let us know how you're doing 🙏

Hey everyone so I just wanted to say thank you for the support. Given how long I've been wrapped up in modern chemistry it's not likely I'd ever be able to get off everything in a reasonable amount of time so picking your priority then becomes important, quality of life becomes important, and they become the dominating factors. I think this is an important message to get out to people who are on these meds. For some people as j1290 just said it may not be possible or even a good idea so just getting to a point where you are stable and can live your life it's just as important and sometimes more important than getting to zero and getting off the meds. Tapering slowly works but if the rate of taper is going to eat up the rest of your life suffering just to do it it's not worth it. It all depends on what your body can tolerate and if your body can't tolerate it then it's okay to make this decision too and that's the message I'd like to get out there. As far as the book and the YouTube page that's more of a winter time project so it's going to be slow to roll out but when I do I will let everybody know.

3 minutes ago, Feralcatman said:

For some people as j1290 just said it may not be possible or even a good idea so just getting to a point where you are stable and can live your life it's just as important and sometimes more important than getting to zero and getting off the meds.

I agree, I can't see yet the moment I could even start tapering in 1% steps with all the nonsense health stuff I personally have, obviously its a long term goal, but living life and not suffering so much for years on end is more important, one day it might be possible and I could start tapering very slowly.

But even then, I have decided to dedicate my life to this cause, cause this is real life saving in the works, god's work if you want to call it that.

So I just had a discussion with Google Gemini AI and put the following analysis together that I thought people would be interested in reading.

The Pathologization of Depth: A Comprehensive Analysis of Sensitivity, Neurodivergence, and the Psychiatric Industrial Complex

Introduction

In a modern culture that equates relentless speed with virtue, constant connectivity with progress, and extroversion with competence, human diversity is frequently measured against an unsustainable standard. Traits that have served humanity for millennia—such as deep cognitive processing, caution, environmental observation, and a rich internal landscape—are increasingly treated as design flaws.

This comprehensive analysis examines the intersection of high sensitivity, introversion, and neurodivergence within the United States. It explores how normal human variation is systematically pathologized, why vulnerable populations are disproportionately funneled into psychiatric treatment, and the severe, compounding biological harms of a medical-industrial complex that prefers chemical sedation over structural reform.

1. Population Metrics & Overlap

• High Sensitivity: Roughly 15% to 20% of the general population is classified as Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs), possessing Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS)—a neutral, genetically rooted temperament trait found in over 100 animal species.

• Neurodivergence: Approximately 15% to 20% of the population falls under the neurodivergent umbrella (including Autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other cognitive differences), representing brains that process and behave differently from the typical baseline.

• Introversion: Roughly 30% to 50% of the population identifies as introverted, leaning toward a preference for low-stimulation environments and internal reflection.

• The Intersecting Group: By combining population data—noting that roughly 70% of HSPs are also introverts—approximately 10% to 14% of the total U.S. population embodies both traits, navigating the world with a uniquely reactive and deep-processing nervous system.

2. Psychiatric Overrepresentation & Misdiagnosis

• Disproportionate Representation: Introverted, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent individuals are heavily overrepresented among those receiving psychiatric care, making up an estimated 35% to 50% or more of outpatient mental health patients.

• The Misdiagnosis Trap: Because sensitive nervous systems easily burn out in high-stimulus, extrovert-centric environments, their normal biological responses—such as sensory overload, exhaustion, and emotional depth—are frequently mislabeled as clinical disorders like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Major Depressive Disorder (MDD).

• Late-Diagnosed Neurodivergence: A massive portion of individuals trapped in long-term psychiatric treatment are actually undiagnosed or late-diagnosed neurodivergent people who spent years being treated for "treatment-resistant" mental illness before recognizing their neurological differences.

3. Scientific Reality vs. Cultural Judgment

• The Evolutionary Asset: Science recognizes high sensitivity and neurodivergence as vital evolutionary survival strategies. Historically, these individuals served as scouts, advisors, strategists, and healers whose caution and sharp observation protected the tribe.

• The Industrial Shift: The systemic devaluation of sensitivity began with the Industrial Revolution and accelerated in the digital age. Society transitioned from agrarian rhythms to assembly lines and digital overstimulation, demanding uniform output, rapid multitasking, and relentless social performance.

• Pathologizing Normal Limits: When a slow-processing, deeply reflective nervous system inevitably hits a wall in a hyper-stimulating world, modern culture blames the individual rather than the environment, branding normal human limits as a pathology.

4. The Toll on Talent ("Sidelined" Brilliance)

• Wasted Potential: This cultural mismatch sidelined many of society's most talented, creative, and innovative minds.

• The Exhaustion Cycle: Instead of being allowed to contribute their unique perspectives, brilliant individuals are forced into chronic exhaustion, imposter syndrome, and self-doubt as they try to survive in systems structurally hostile to their biology.

5. U.S. Medication Rates & the Vulnerable Intersection

• The National Baseline: According to federal health data, nearly 19.3% of U.S. adults take prescription medication for their mental health.

• Systemic Funneling: A disproportionate majority of this medicated population consists of sensitive and neurodivergent individuals whose fundamental distress stems from environmental burnout and societal incompatibility rather than actual chemical imbalance.

6. Deep-Dive Analysis: The Hazards of Over-Medicalization and Biological Harm

• The Trap of Pharmaceutical Interventions: When a sensitive person experiences life stress, sleep disruptions, or baseline anxiety from trying to cope with an overstimulating world, they are handed psychiatric medications designed to chemically alter the central nervous system. Rather than solving the root issue of environmental exhaustion, introducing powerful psychoactive compounds to a uniquely reactive nervous system adds layers of physical dependency, adverse side effects, and complex withdrawal profiles.

• The Primary Drivers of Iatrogenic Harm: The progression of physical harm is driven by a specific, recurring sequence: long-term medication history acts as the primary driver for kindling and protracted withdrawal, followed by medication switches, and subsequently compounded by Ativan and subsequent tapers.

• Pharmacological Kindling and Destabilizing Tapers: One of the most severe hazards in psychiatric treatment is kindling—a neuroplastic process where repeated cycles of starting, stopping, switching, or withdrawing from medications sensitize the central nervous system. With each subsequent attempt to taper or change medications, a biologically sensitive brain often reacts with escalating severity. Cumulative neurological damage from these cycles can throw the entire nervous system into profound, debilitating instability.

• Institutional Gaslighting and the Avoidance of Structural Reform: When patients experience severe withdrawal, kindling, or adverse physical reactions from psychiatric drugs, the medical establishment frequently misinterprets these physical iatrogenic (medication-induced) injuries as a "relapse of the underlying mental illness." The patient is cycled back onto more medication, trapping them in a destructive loop of pharmaceutical dependency, while corporate and societal structures completely evade responsibility for creating the hyper-stimulating, toxic environments that caused the initial burnout in the first place.

Conclusion

The widespread medicalization of sensitive and neurodivergent populations represents a profound systemic failure. By framing natural biological variations and environmental exhaustion as medical illnesses, modern institutions—driven by corporate efficiency, institutional inertia, and a reductionist biomedical model—continue to cause immense iatrogenic harm.

Addressing this crisis requires a fundamental paradigm shift. Society must move away from the practice of chemically sedating individuals to fit an unsustainable mold, and instead begin recognizing deep sensitivity and neurodiversity for what they truly are: essential, valuable dimensions of human diversity that demand structural accommodation rather than pharmaceutical suppression.

UPDATE

I just posted an update to my Tegretol tapering thread.