I was on and off Prozac from ages 12 to 22. The last time I took it, I experienced severe withdrawal along with PSSD symptoms. While in that state, I took two doses of mirtazapine. The last time I took any psychiatric medication was in the summer of 2020.

Over the following two years, I recovered to a decent extent, although some PSSD and physical symptoms never fully resolved. Then, a little over two months ago, I crashed again. I have no idea what caused it, as I have not taken any psychiatric medications since 2020. Anything I can think of as a possible trigger seems irrational.

Since this crash, many of my physical symptoms have worsened, including full-body numbness and dryness, changes in body hair, and sicca-like symptoms. Worst of all, I have been experiencing complete emotional numbness, cognitive dysfunction, insomnia, and significantly worsened PSSD symptoms.

I am looking for any advice or hope from people who may have experienced something similar. I am especially concerned about whether this could be permanent, given the new physical symptoms.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I truly appreciate any responses.

Edited July 12Jul 12 by Lighty

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawl syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

Please familiarise yourself with the forum rules and the disclaimer located here: Guidelines

 
I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

8 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

Over the following two years, I recovered to a decent extent, although some PSSD and physical symptoms never fully resolved.

I'm glad to hear you have improved over the years.

8 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

Then, a little over two months ago, I crashed again. I have no idea what caused it, as I have not taken any psychiatric medications since 2020. Anything I can think of as a possible trigger seems irrational.

I can familiarize with a lot of tiny things being possible triggers, when the nervous system is highly sensitive, it can be like that, and also due to you being highly sensitive and not in a well state, you will start to speculate on a million of things if they do good or make you worse, this is not that uncommon.

8 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

Since this crash, many of my physical symptoms have worsened, including full-body numbness and dryness, changes in body hair, and sicca-like symptoms. Worst of all, I have been experiencing complete emotional numbness, cognitive dysfunction, insomnia, and significantly worsened PSSD symptoms.

This is common with the windows and waves pattern, we can have have better periods and worse periods, Surviving Antidepressants has a thread regarding windows and waves. The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization.

8 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

I am looking for any advice or hope from people who may have experienced something similar. I am especially concerned about whether this could be permanent, given the new physical symptoms.

Objectively you have been improving over time, yeah it's true you are having a significant wave currently, but it shall pass, you may want to learn some coping methods to deal with your symptoms better:

Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

Breath and Meditation

Being a human, and dealing with emotions in WD

You will heal out and become better over time, There are many people who been through this journey more than a decade ago and have healed. Our bodies always aim to become healthy as much as possible.

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

 

8 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I truly appreciate any responses.

No worries, feel free to comment on your thread as you feel like and need to ❤️

@Lighty I so appreciate the response. This is a very lonely state.

On the one hand I try to be optimistic and tell myself my body has bounced back from dysregulated states before. However, on the other hand, this feels like a PSSD crash with all these new physical symptoms and part of me thinks this is increased permanent damage. It is really tough. I definitely do a daily walk.

How can you tell the difference between a wave and a permanent crash?

Edited July 12Jul 12 by bonbo8103

Hey @bonbo8103

Welcome to the forum.

16 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

How can you tell the difference between a wave and a permanent crash?

This won't be a permanent crash, the body is always working on homeostasis, a worsening of symptoms is not uncommon unfortunately. We don't know what causes it, my suspicion is stress of some sort, or something like alcohol, do you drink or smoke anything?

@Chippy Thanks for your response.

I do not drink or smoke and have not had stress. However, I do think I may have gotten Multiple Chemical Sensitivity since getting PSSD/PAWS and my partner uses some strong cosmetics that also get on me. They stopped using it. The number of hours I sleep has improved. That being said, it is the least restful sleep ever. I feel like I have not slept in a couple months. The physical changes (full body numbness, body hair), low/no energy (cannot do intense exercise), and complete emotional numbness/avolition freak me out the most tbh. I feel like a zombie and not myself at all. Like I do not feel like doing anything or care about anything.

I just get worried at 28 this is my permanent state and being in this state makes it almost impossible to accomplish my goals. I know I shouldn't catastrophize but when I see people on PSSD forums with similar physical symptoms their prognosis does not seem great.

Edited July 13Jul 13 by bonbo8103

19 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

@Chippy Thanks for your response.

Pleasure

19 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

I do not drink or smoke and have not had stress.

Good.

19 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

However, I do think I may have gotten Multiple Chemical Sensitivity since getting PSSD/PAWS and my partner uses some strong cosmetics that also get on me. They stopped using it.

Very common, good to avoid anything that makes things worse.

19 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

The number of hours I sleep has improved. That being said, it is the least restful sleep ever. I feel like I have not slept in a couple months.

Again VERY common, probably one of the most common issues is sleep disruptions, I completely empathisee with the lack of restful sleep. Sleep in WD

19 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

The physical changes (full body numbness, body hair), low/no energy (cannot do intense exercise), and complete emotional numbness/avolition freak me out the most tbh. I feel like a zombie and not myself at all. Like I do not feel like doing anything or care about anything.

I am so sorry, awful what these drugs to to us.

19 hours ago, bonbo8103 said:

I just get worried at 28 this is my permanent state and being in this state makes it almost impossible to accomplish my goals. I know I shouldn't catastrophize but when I see people on PSSD forums with similar physical symptoms their prognosis does not seem great.

As I said, try to not go on these types of forums, full of negative talk. IMO we must change what we can and let the rest go. Learn to live in the moment not in the future, I know that seems hard but honestly it is a critical skill to learn. Let go of what you want or feel expected of you, and just accept the symptoms, trust your body and take it one day at a time. Many of the folk on those sites are taking other drugs and to try to fix all this and end up making things worse and then say it's permanent. Medications, Supplements and Other Substances in Withdrawal You are you. Just focus on that.

Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?