Oh, someone mentioned Nicole Lamberson and I recalled one phenomena related somehow to acceptance of a person with WD by the people around them. She was an activist in support groups and noticed that some people who healed themselves returned years after that and stared talk paternalistic toward people who haven't yet: "You didn't heal because you did/do this. You didn't heal, because you didn't do that."

Maybe prepare yourself to have conversations like that. Everyone everywhere can get their 5 minutes to tell you the "truth" about your condition.

18 hours ago, Liliebogart said:

Thank you @SarahMc @The Dust @Bernadette and @Chippy for your kind words and support. So I guess I am in a wave? Should I expect more of this as I taper, or even if I hold?

Pleasure. We can't know who this goes for you next, it however common for things to get better and a bit worse in a window and waves pattern as you hold as stablise. During a taper waves and windows can also happen too. The trick is to try to manage this with a slow body led taper, holding where needed.

18 hours ago, Liliebogart said:

I think I'll stick to holding rather than updosing. It's easier to measure .35 ml on my syringe and I'd rather deal with problems I know than risk new ones. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on that.

Ok, you must choose what you think is best. I am sure things will settle down given some time.

18 hours ago, Liliebogart said:

It's so hard to strike a balance here. On the one hand, I don't want to drag everyone else down. I would absolutely hate to be in their shoes. Plus I think there's something to be said for not dwelling too much on the symptoms myself. But it's hard when people around you expect you to be "normal" and you just don't have the energy for it. I admit that I am focusing too much on withdrawal and need to try harder to put my attention on other things.

It is, I would not be too hard on yourself for wanting to research and look into all this. We have all done this, particularly in the early days I found much comfort listening to youtube videos. Validation, I think that is what I was needing. Also I learned. At some point you naturally don't want to think so much about it. Ultimately you can't think your way out of WD anyway so I don't think it really matters if you spend time thinking about it or not, just use your best judgement and ultimately if it helps you at the moment then I would say all good.

In terms of friends and family, well I tried to talk about it a lot when I could, and they just can't get it and it made me very frustrated with them. It took me quite some time to stop trying and just accept they can't understand. I am lucky that my wife and son do so I am able to not 'pretend' with them, as I find this fakeness so frustrating. I would rather not see people then sit there suffering and faking my way through a conversation about the weather lol, how dull!

Finding friends in the community is best, they won't tire of talking about WD should you feel you need to.

18 hours ago, Liliebogart said:

I've had other health scares in my life but there's something particularly terrifying about withdrawal.

This is on another level, if you have not been here you simply can't get it. I still can't quite believe myself sometimes.

18 hours ago, Liliebogart said:

One more question: I am finishing up my current bottle of liquid and need to start another. Same manufacturer and formulation, but do you recommend cross-tapering to the new bottle in case the existing one has lost potency over the 6 months I've been using it? Do people experience difficulties when starting new bottles? It's my third one, but the first one was much smaller so I went through it much more quickly.

Generally we just suggest a hold for a month when switching batches, so treat it like a cut. If you wanted to cross over then I would think this is fine and maybe sensible given your current nervous systems stablity. So 25/75 for a week, 50/50 for a week, 75/25 for a week then 0/100 or what ever your old bottle lets you do......