Sending lots of love @overthepill sorry things are still tough for you. Hang in there, sometimes this takes an unreasonable amount of time before seeing progress but you will see some. You just need to keep taking it one day at a time, string enough days together and you WILL get there. x

Thinking of you @overthepill. I know you're going through unimaginable torture right now, but please believe there is another side. Keep passing the time and your body will get you there. Healing will happen, even if it feels impossible. 💜

@SarahMc @Luke @Chippy @Sminismoni @Bernadette

So I met with Adele Framer today and went over my med history with her and she told me I have 3 options, either try to ride this out with no meds (which is getting harder by the day), a small reinstatement of the Lexapro (like .1 mg), or introducing Ativan to try to calm the nervous system and then tapering off of it later once I am stable. I honestly don't know what to do and feel like there is no right answer here.

@overthepill I'm glad you got to meet with Adele, as far as the 3 options she gave you, I myself would go with option 1, ride it out. I know as extremely uncomfortable and challenging it is , it would be the least risky to your CNS, if you have been on @HopeOfHealing 's thread you can read she is not in a good place right now. Your past your 3 month mark please hang on this will get better. RI can be very risky and cause more harm than good. A lot of us here in the most difficult times during a very bad wave wanted to find that magic potion that gives us some sort of relief when the system can seem so brutal, but if your wondering what it is we'll all tell you it is TIME & ACCEPTANCE. We have all lived through this brutal hell during a wave, but given the time, the body knows exactly how to heal itself.

Hugs my friend, I'll see if @Luke, @Chippy or @SarahMc @mstimc60 ms, could chime in.

Hey @overthepill I am sorry to read things are so rough still for you.

Its great you met with Adele and got her take on it.

Personally I would hold and keep going like you are I think.

Im not convinced by RI lexapro personally.

There is no doubt for some a benzo can be helpful at first, unfortunately it's a double edged sword. You can build dependance on them very quickly, gain tolerance quickly too so they become less effective and then are left taking a drug which can poop out on your easily whilst waiting to be stable enough to taper off. Benzo WD is very serious.

Your drug history is quite complex and this year you have tried many things from what I can read. One thing that does concern me is 6 weeks of ativan early 2026. This is long enough to gain dependence. Perhaps stopping that abruptly is part of this. @LostinCanada

The problem with reinstating lexapro is that you did not tolerate it well when you were taking it.

The idea behind reinstatement is to go back onto a low dose of a drug you were previously tolerating well and stabilised on, to counteract withdrawal. It's not risk-free because often once people have withdrawn a drug and are in withdrawal they're very sensitive.

You are very sensitive now, but are considering reinstating a drug you were already tolerating poorly before being in this state.

As @Chippy said, previous drug use and changes have likely influenced how sensitive you were to starting lexapro in the first place.

Your drug history is quite extensive, and it's fair to say it hasn't left you in a good place. Adding more into the mix often doesn't help, which you've unfortunately come to realise.

You're right in that there is no one, right answer, but we do have a sense of what can be a risky path to take based on what others have done. It might help, but there's a significant chance that it will make things a lot worse as well.

@overthepill I agree with what the others have said here. I also seem to remember you saying recently that everything went to hell when you tried the Ativan earlier this year. Did you have an adverse reaction to it, or did everything get much worse when you stopped it? Either way, if it was a bad reaction to taking the drug or severe withdrawal effects after six weeks, I think that suggests it would be risky to try it again now.

I'm so sorry you're going through hell. If there was a quick fix to this that didn't risk you getting worse we would offer it to you in a heartbeat 💜

9 hours ago, SarahMc said:

@overthepill I agree with what the others have said here. I also seem to remember you saying recently that everything went to hell when you tried the Ativan earlier this year. Did you have an adverse reaction to it, or did everything get much worse when you stopped it? Either way, if it was a bad reaction to taking the drug or severe withdrawal effects after six weeks, I think that suggests it would be risky to try it again now.

I'm so sorry you're going through hell. If there was a quick fix to this that didn't risk you getting worse we would offer it to you in a heartbeat 💜

I never had a bad reaction to Ativan, I just went into withdrawal when I stopped it, it wasn't intense withdrawal just some brain fog and fatigue, and absolute vacation compared to how I feel now. I just stopped it after 6 weeks because I did not want to be on it long term. I was on 1mg/.5mg depending on the day for 4 weeks then did a week of .5mg then another week of .25mg then stopped. I just know that I am highly sensitized now and am scared to put so much as a Tylenol in my mouth at this point.

12 hours ago, Luke said:

The problem with reinstating lexapro is that you did not tolerate it well when you were taking it.

The idea behind reinstatement is to go back onto a low dose of a drug you were previously tolerating well and stabilised on, to counteract withdrawal. It's not risk-free because often once people have withdrawn a drug and are in withdrawal they're very sensitive.

You are very sensitive now, but are considering reinstating a drug you were already tolerating poorly before being in this state.

As @Chippy said, previous drug use and changes have likely influenced how sensitive you were to starting lexapro in the first place.

Your drug history is quite extensive, and it's fair to say it hasn't left you in a good place. Adding more into the mix often doesn't help, which you've unfortunately come to realise.

You're right in that there is no one, right answer, but we do have a sense of what can be a risky path to take based on what others have done. It might help, but there's a significant chance that it will make things a lot worse as well.

Luke how on earth did you push through feeling the way you did for so long without seeing improvement?

12 hours ago, overthepill said:

Luke how on earth did you push through feeling the way you did for so long without seeing improvement?

I'm still struggling now, but improving over time.

To be totally blunt about it, I didn't die. Years later, here I am. However you've been making it through the last few days, really. For me, it was that I couldn't cause harm to my parents and my sister by ending it. That was all that kept me alive.

I knew right from the start that I couldn't take any more drugs. Just one had already harmed me and quite frankly very nearly killed me. So, there was never any question about this for me, even though family members tried to convince me otherwise.

So, the only thing left was to survive.

14 hours ago, overthepill said:

I never had a bad reaction to Ativan, I just went into withdrawal when I stopped it, it wasn't intense withdrawal just some brain fog and fatigue, and absolute vacation compared to how I feel now. I just stopped it after 6 weeks because I did not want to be on it long term. I was on 1mg/.5mg depending on the day for 4 weeks then did a week of .5mg then another week of .25mg then stopped. I just know that I am highly sensitized now and am scared to put so much as a Tylenol in my mouth at this point.

I would definitely be very hesitant about using Ativan. As others have said, benzos are notorious for reaching tolerance very quickly (my understanding is they are not considered to be effective beyond 4-6 weeks without increasing the dose), and you also gain dependence very quickly so you risk being trapped on another drug that isn't helping you but being unable to taper while your nervous system is still incredibly sensitive.

Also benzo WD is no joke. My sister is tapering off Ativan right now and is having an awful time.

You're stronger than you know @overthepill. I believe you can get through this.