ever since i took antipsychotics i have had a complete loss of sexual function, including genital numbness, erectile disfunction, loss of libido, and premature ejaculation.  This was more than a year ago. I have been on and off of them for a while. I stopped taking abilify cold turkey As of 5 months ago. When i did that i slowly started losing all of my emotions, than i stopped olanzipine cold turkey about 2 months ago to see if that was causing emotional blunting. since than I cannot feel happy or sad, i cannot enjoy music, i cannot feel connection to loved ones or romantic feelings . My grandma died in august who i loved very much and i had no reaction to it. Before i would ball my eyes out to a death in a movie. I have been experiencing derealization almost daily. I cannot feel nostalgia, i cant feel substances like weed or alcohol I cannot form a sentence or think straight, i cannot create mental images and i cant sleep for more than an hour a night if im lucky. I do not feel like the person i was before taking medication at all. I feel like my brain is destroyed. I think of suicide deeply every second and that is only getting worse.

Edited September 9Sep 9 by SarahMc
To add additional information

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawl syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

Please familiarise yourself with the forum rules and the disclaimer located here: Guidelines

 

Please make sure your signature is kept up to date with your drug history. This will allow members to see some basic information about your drug history and situation so that they may help you best. Information on how to do this is located in the FAQs section above, but here is a direct link: Update Signature

Once this is done, future posts made by you will have this signature turned on by default. For this reason please keep it clear but condensed as possible.

Please use the format outline here Preferred signature/drug history format

I see that you're not sure of all of the antipsychotics you've been given in the past couple of years. Could you update your signature to at least include approximate start dates for the ones you are sure of, along with your doses and the dates you stopped taking them? And could you clarify in your signature whether you are still taking any psych drugs?

I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

4 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

ever since i took antipsychotics i have had a complete loss of sexual function, including genital numbness, erectile disfunction, loss of libido, and premature ejaculation.  This was more than a year ago.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Antipsychotics are known to have many terrible side effects, especially at the doses they're usually prescribed to "treat" psychosis.

4 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

I have been on and off of them for a while. I stopped taking abilify cold turkey As of 5 months ago. When i did that i slowly started losing all of my emotions, than i stopped olanzipine cold turkey about 2 months ago to see if that was causing emotional blunting.

Unfortunately stopping these drugs cold turkey is not recommended. We recommend a slow taper, with very few exceptions for things like life-threatening side effects. Switching drugs around over the past year will have sensitized your nervous system and stopping these drugs cold turkey will have put you into withdrawal. But you can still recover with time and patience.

4 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

since than I cannot feel happy or sad, i cannot enjoy music, i cannot feel connection to loved ones or romantic feelings . My grandma died in august who i loved very much and i had no reaction to it. Before i would ball my eyes out to a death in a movie. I have been experiencing derealization almost daily. I cannot feel nostalgia, i cant feel substances like weed or alcohol I cannot form a sentence or think straight, i cannot create mental images and i cant sleep for more than an hour a night if im lucky. I do not feel like the person i was before taking medication at all. I feel like my brain is destroyed. I think of suicide deeply every second and that is only getting worse.

I'm really sorry you're suffering so much. It's horrible what these drugs can do, and it's especially awful when they're given to someone so young. But all of the symptoms you're experiencing are very, very common in psych drug withdrawal, and this means that you absolutely can recover.

What your nervous system needs now is stability. Can you let us know if you're currently taking any psych drugs, or have you stopped taking everything? If you are still taking something it will be important to keep taking the same meds, at the same doses and at the same time each day, assuming that you are not experiencing any severe adverse reaction to the drug. Do NOT take any additional psych drugs, this will very likely only make things worse.

You should also stop consuming alcohol and weed until you have recovered. Alcohol in particular has been shown to make things much worse for people in withdrawal.

Your brain is not destroyed, but it is injured and it needs time and patience to recover. Please do what you need to do to keep yourself safe in the meantime. You WILL get better and you will be so glad that you held on.

 

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

hey @Pssdsufferer , I just want to assure you, the odds are you will heal, the first thing I would recommend you, is to practice acceptance, instead of trying to run away from symptoms, sit with them and say 'Yes, I have these symptoms, it's okay, I will slowly heal and this is only temporary, it's okay to feel all those symptoms.

We have topics regarding coping methods.

Always look towards the good things you have, bad things happen and it's okay, practice gratitude as much as possible.

try to appreciate you having warm food and clean water, the sun rising each day, your family members/loved ones you have in your life if you do, friends, pets, every single thing, life isn't a guaranteed thing, there are people who live in dirt and still find gratitude.

I would also recommend trying to meditate and learning to do that.

You will be fine ❣️

Edited September 9Sep 9 by Lighty

Hey @Pssdsufferer Welcome to the forum. I am glad you have found us. Pleased read Sarahs reply carefully she has made some very important points which you should take onboard and some questions to reply to. Others have been here before and come out the other side and you can too. Chippy

I will update my signature, but i am not sure i can provide times because my memory has been severely impaired. I really want to believe i can recover but from all i have read people have had this for over 20 years

1 minute ago, Pssdsufferer said:

I really want to believe i can recover but from all i have read people have had this for over 20 years

this is a 0.1% case, its not most people, most people do recover, you only been off for 2 months of the second antipsychotic, wait 20 years first before you reach the conclusion it could be permanent.

You are quite early on in withdrawal you need to have patience, which is hard at first obviously but you could learn coping skills and learn to live life in any condition.

5 minutes ago, Pssdsufferer said:

I will update my signature, but i am not sure i can provide times because my memory has been severely impaired.

Just as best you can :) use the guide Sarah linked to you to help with format.

5 minutes ago, Pssdsufferer said:

I really want to believe i can recover but from all i have read people have had this for over 20 years

Those who suffer that long are edge cases, we must not think in a negative way, it won't help. The nervous system wants positive energy so we don't add in second fear or undue stress. Peace, one day at a time. The is no yesterday or tomorrow, only the present. You will be ok given enough time I have every faith.

Have you seen people recover from pssd? Like the anhedonia/emotional blunting part specifically?

27 minutes ago, Pssdsufferer said:

Have you seen people recover from pssd? Like the anhedonia/emotional blunting part specifically?

yes people do recover, it won't be that quick but your odds are you will heal.

@Pssdsufferer I'm sorry to hear that. I understand you, you just can't feel good after being exposed to something like APs. I was on them for a short while and I felt killed immediately, although the dose was small. I hope that you run away for good!

Can I ask you, if your PSSD was related to a specific AP? Did you noted any correlation like that?

I was on a low dose ssri for a bit before i took antipsychotics. But it all started when i was introduced to risperidone and got worse when i was on abilify and olanzipine

So, you believe that your PSSD was causes by APs and not by SSRI?

I am not sure. All i know is pills ruined my life

23 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

Have you seen people recover from pssd? Like the anhedonia/emotional blunting part specifically?

Yes.

On SA there were many cases where people thought it was impossible and then went on to recover. At 2 months off it is very early, and there is a lot of precedent for going on to recover.

Violets: Fully recovered from severe form of PSSD after two years - Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal - Surviving Antidepressants

We also have members on this forum who have similar symptoms but are starting to have signs of improvement, small glimmers of feeling, windows etc.

It can take a lot of time.

I'd also point out that while there are people who have been off of all medications for a long time who still seem to have PSSD, places like the PSSD subreddit and similar spaces, even forums like this and SA have a significant number of people claiming to have had PSSD for "XYZ years", when in reality during those years they have continued to take an array of psychiatric drugs.

3 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

All i know is pills ruined my life

again, one day you will realize they didn't ruin your whole life, yes you got injured, but there is usually things you can still do, despite the injuries and what not.

in time you will realize you will be okay.

22 hours ago, Luke said:

Yes.

On SA there were many cases where people thought it was impossible and then went on to recover. At 2 months off it is very early, and there is a lot of precedent for going on to recover.

Violets: Fully recovered from severe form of PSSD after two years - Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal - Surviving Antidepressants

We also have members on this forum who have similar symptoms but are starting to have signs of improvement, small glimmers of feeling, windows etc.

It can take a lot of time.

I'd also point out that while there are people who have been off of all medications for a long time who still seem to have PSSD, places like the PSSD subreddit and similar spaces, even forums like this and SA have a significant number of people claiming to have had PSSD for "XYZ years", when in reality during those years they have continued to take an array of psychiatric drugs.

I really like violets story. I first experienced symptoms 1.5 years ago which have been getting progressively worse since, but have only been completely drug free for 3 months. Besides melatonin and some Tylenol. You think everyone i have talked to continued to use medication? I hope thats true because the idea of being off everything for many many years and still having all these life ruining symptoms is outrageous. I have had 2 windows where music was enjoyable again. My parents are pressuring me to go on some sort of bipolar medication again because i have been bedridden all summer. That is a bad idea right? A natural recovery is best?

22 hours ago, Luke said:

Yes.

On SA there were many cases where people thought it was impossible and then went on to recover. At 2 months off it is very early, and there is a lot of precedent for going on to recover.

Violets: Fully recovered from severe form of PSSD after two years - Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal - Surviving Antidepressants

We also have members on this forum who have similar symptoms but are starting to have signs of improvement, small glimmers of feeling, windows etc.

It can take a lot of time.

I'd also point out that while there are people who have been off of all medications for a long time who still seem to have PSSD, places like the PSSD subreddit and similar spaces, even forums like this and SA have a significant number of people claiming to have had PSSD for "XYZ years", when in reality during those years they have continued to take an array of psychiatric drugs.

22 hours ago, Lighty said:

again, one day you will realize they didn't ruin your whole life, yes you got injured, but there is usually things you can still do, despite the injuries and what not.

in time you will realize you will be okay.

If it stays like this there is nothing in life i can really do, but your saying it will

Get better?

1 minute ago, Pssdsufferer said:

If it stays like this there is nothing in life i can really do

there is always something to do, even if the tiniest thing, life is worth living.

1 minute ago, Pssdsufferer said:

but your saying it will

Get better?

it will take a while but yes you will most likely get better, as you been told before ❣️

5 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

I have had 2 windows where music was enjoyable again.

Hi @Pssdsufferer -- it is a really great sign that you've had windows. This shows that your body is working on healing. You will get there.

5 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

My parents are pressuring me to go on some sort of bipolar medication again because i have been bedridden all summer. That is a bad idea right? A natural recovery is best?

Absolutely do not try more drugs. Drugs cannot treat drug injury or withdrawal symptoms, and it is very possible they will make things worse. The only way to heal from this is through time and patience and giving your nervous system as much stability as possible.

5 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

If it stays like this there is nothing in life i can really do, but your saying it will

Get better?

Yes, you can recover.

12 hours ago, SarahMc said:

Hi @Pssdsufferer -- it is a really great sign that you've had windows. This shows that your body is working on healing. You will get there.

Absolutely do not try more drugs. Drugs cannot treat drug injury or withdrawal symptoms, and it is very possible they will make things worse. The only way to heal from this is through time and patience and giving your nervous system as much stability as possible.

Yes, you can recover.

what can i do to get sleep than? I have not been getting more than 3 hours a night for the past 2 months. I was prescribed a benzo and a mood stabilizer and im desperate to take the benzo so i can at least sleep but i want to recover.

23 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

You think everyone i have talked to continued to use medication?

No, not all, but a significant number.

Before coming to this thread I just wrote a response to someone saying that they are heartbroken that they have PSSD who is still tapering, for example.

A large proportion of people claiming to have PSSD are not being honest about their drug use, or are claiming it prematurely. PSSD does exist but people can and do recover.

6 hours ago, Pssdsufferer said:

what can i do to get sleep than? I have not been getting more than 3 hours a night for the past 2 months. I was prescribed a benzo and a mood stabilizer and im desperate to take the benzo so i can at least sleep but i want to recover.

We recommend not using further psychiatric drugs for symptom relief.

It's brutal, but so are the further harms that they can do.

59 minutes ago, Luke said:

No, not all, but a significant number.

Before coming to this thread I just wrote a response to someone saying that they are heartbroken that they have PSSD who is still tapering, for example.

A large proportion of people claiming to have PSSD are not being honest about their drug use, or are claiming it prematurely. PSSD does exist but people can and do recover.

We recommend not using further psychiatric drugs for symptom relief.

It's brutal, but so are the further harms that they can do.

I dont like the odds of recovering though, i can only find a few recovery storys yet so many people saying its been an extremely long time

how do you guys know it is just nerve damage? I know that can heal over time but im following a doctor named will powers who is researching PSSD and he is talking about all these different abnormalities in lab tests and names of different things that may be causing/contributing to this. What if some of that cant heal?

4 minutes ago, Pssdsufferer said:

how do you guys know it is just nerve damage? I know that can heal over time but im following a doctor named will powers who is researching PSSD and he is talking about all these different abnormalities in lab tests and names of different things that may be causing/contributing to this. What if some of that cant heal?

If you want to believe the model of dr powers that’s more possible to (at least) treat than “nerve damage”.

They believe that they are very close to cracking the code (much rather to PFS than PSSD) and that dr powers will find a cure. I respect their work. But I believe they are barking up the wrong tree..

You should give yourself and your body time to readjust naturally. Reducing stress will allow your body to heal faster. Don’t try medication or more supplements. You might seriously recover in the next 6-12 months.

Stay strong buddy!

Edited September 13Sep 13 by leminaseri

39 minutes ago, Pssdsufferer said:

I dont like the odds of recovering though, i can only find a few recovery storys yet so many people saying its been an extremely long time

Nobody knows the odds of recovering, because nobody has gathered the statistics.

For every person posting, there are people who recovered and walked away. The proportion of this is unknown.

On SA, which was active for 15 years, there were many who recovered from sexual dysfunction caused by these drugs.