Hello everyone,

I came here for your advice about my prolonged withdrawl syndrome.

I have had prescribed Escitalopram and was using for 1,5 year (10 mg, I have read in the past that specifically in the Escitalopram brand the active ingredient is twice as strong compared to other SSRI) . Sadly I'v never heard about tapering before so I quit pretty cold turkey (within one month). First week was little bit bad (brain zaps, head aches...,) but i could handle it easily. In the next few months I have had some head aches time to time and some neurological problems time to time. I often told myself that it is only withdrawl and go on with my life. Nothing too painful.

I am now 6 months after last dose now and the last four/five weeks have been really shitty. My nervous system is really sensitized and especially last week was terrible: full time anxiety, panic attacks, depersonalisation, derealisation, fightflight mode, hands and legs muscle pain, i dont feel like eating, bit of a headache. But the worst is feeling like I am not in control of my body, that I have no free will, that I am not complete - like having no foundation (like I dont understand where my actions come from). It really scares me into panic mode. It is like 30 % better almost every evening (20:00+) though.

I am also very sensitive to almost everything regarding food: sugar, coffein, B-complex vitamins, magnesium....

Can you please confirm to me if this is normal? Sadly I don't have psychiatrist, only normal general doctor, who believes me, but he does not have proper experience with prolonged withdrawl. So I wanted to ask if this harsh symptoms after 6 months - almost without warning - is possible? Is it prolonged withdrawl or should I look for some other explanation? 

Thanks! 

Mína 

P. S.: My general doctor checked my blood, and everything came back ok (B12 on the lower limit, but nothing dramatic).

Edited September 9Sep 9 by SarahMc

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawal syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

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I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

1 hour ago, Mína said:

I have had prescribed Escitalopram and was using for 1,5 year (10 mg, I have read in the past that specifically in the Escitalopram brand the active ingredient is twice as strong compared to other SSRI) . Sadly I'v never heard about tapering before so I quit pretty cold turkey (within one month). First week was little bit bad (brain zaps, head aches...,) but i could handle it easily. In the next few months I have had some head aches time to time and some neurological problems time to time. I often told myself that it is only withdrawl and go on with my life. Nothing too painful.

As you know, quitting these drugs cold turkey is quite risky and can lead to severe and prolonged withdrawal symptoms. Sometimes the worst of these symptoms can be delayed by several months. You'll find more than a few examples of such delayed symptoms on this forum.

1 hour ago, Mína said:

I am now 6 months after last dose now and the last four/five weeks have been really shitty. My nervous system is really sensitized and especially last week was terrible: full time anxiety, panic attacks, depersonalisation, derealisation, fightflight mode, hands and legs muscle pain, i dont feel like eating, bit of a headache. But the worst is feeling like I am not in control of my body, that I have no free will, that I am not complete - like having no foundation (like I dont understand where my actions come from). It really scares me into panic mode. It is like 30 % better almost every evening (20:00+) though.

I am also very sensitive to almost everything regarding food: sugar, coffein, B-complex vitamins, magnesium....

I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now. The symptoms you've listed here are absolutely all common symptoms of antidepressant withdrawal. It is also common, and a good sign, to have better periods in the evenings. This means that your body is still fighting for stability.

In terms of your sensitivities, we advise you to avoid caffeine and supplements during withdrawal: Medications, Supplements and Other Substances in Withdrawal

1 hour ago, Mína said:

Can you please confirm to me if this is normal? Sadly I don't have psychiatrist, only normal general doctor, who believes me, but he does not have proper experience with prolonged withdrawl. So I wanted to ask if this harsh symptoms after 6 months - almost without warning - is possible? Is it prolonged withdrawl or should I look for some other explanation? 

Yes, you can absolutely have a worsening of withdrawal symptoms after being off the drug for several months. If you look around the forum, you'll see a number of examples of this happening to members. But the good news is that despite how bad things feel right now, you can heal with time and stability. Healing generally happens in windows and waves: The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

It's great that your doctor believes you about this -- many of us don't have that kind of support from our medical professionals.

It's always good to get any specific physical symptoms that concern you checked out, but I think it's most likely that all of what you're experiencing is protracted withdrawal. What your nervous system needs now is time, patience, and stability to promote healing. You might want to check out some of our resources on coping skills like acceptance: Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

 

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

Hey @Mína Welcome to the forum. I am glad you found us! Escitalopram (Lexapro in the US) is a very powerful drug. Stopping it abruptly as you have can 100% cause all of what you describe. Wd can also delayed or worsening happen many months out.

Can you rate your symptoms out of 10 for us? 1 being mild 10 being as bad as you can imagine?

Do you have much fluctuation in symptoms apart from the evenings, so days where you have windows with lesser symptoms?

You may want to consider reinstating a low dose of the drug. We have found this can help as crutch for when things are very bad and support your nervous system whilst is heals. There is some risk to RI the dose but we have had good success with RI Lexapro with others so it may be something you wish to consider. I will link you to our document on this. If you feel things are very tough and you would like to try please let us know and we will help you with a dose suggestion and how to make the small dose up.

Reinstating an Antidepressant

Hi @SarahMc and @Chippy,

thank you so much for your responses. I´v noted everything you said Sarah, thanks.

And Chippy to answer your questions:

I would rate my symptoms like 3-5 last four weeks with worsening to 8-9 this last week. I think the worsening came after night with almost no sleep (meeting with friends) and then drinking some Coca-cola the next morning. Maybe that is what started this whole **** show...

But! I am maybe kinda hopeful now, becouse yesterday was LITTLE better (maybe like 6-7) and in the evening almost 2-3. Today I am somewhere around 5-6 and hopeful, that I am getting over this wave.

I am thinking about reinstating all the time. On the Monday I visited psychiatrist in the Crisis centrer. She gave me Amisulprid 50 mg (1 per day) so I would feel better but I am too scared to take it since I see how bad can withdrawl be.

What do you think about that?

Thanks for your link! I read the whole thing. I have no experience with this - do you think it can really help? Even after 6 months of being clean? Or is it better to suffer through this big wave and to hope it will not come this big again?

Thanks for advice!

m.

5 minutes ago, Mína said:

Hi @SarahMc and @Chippy,

thank you so much for your responses. I´v noted everything you said Sarah, thanks.

It is a pleasure.

5 minutes ago, Mína said:

And Chippy to answer your questions:

I would rate my symptoms like 3-5 last four weeks with worsening to 8-9 this last week. I think the worsening came after night with almost no sleep (meeting with friends) and then drinking some Coca-cola the next morning. Maybe that is what started this whole **** show...

But! I am maybe kinda hopeful now, becouse yesterday was LITTLE better (maybe like 6-7) and in the evening almost 2-3. Today I am somewhere around 5-6 and hopeful, that I am getting over this wave.

Thank you for doing this.

So it sounds like things over all have gotten worse, but are very much fluctuating, which is a very good sign indeed, windows and waves are part of the healing process.

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

6 minutes ago, Mína said:

On the Monday I visited psychiatrist in the Crisis centrer. She gave me Amisulprid 50 mg (1 per day) so I would feel better but I am too scared to take it since I see how bad can withdrawl be.

What do you think about that?

This is 100% a bad idea. Unfortunately doctors and other health care professionals always reach for the pill draw, we find this only makes things worse. I would not take them for sure.

7 minutes ago, Mína said:

I am thinking about reinstating all the time.

7 minutes ago, Mína said:

Thanks for your link! I read the whole thing. I have no experience with this - do you think it can really help? Even after 6 months of being clean? Or is it better to suffer through this big wave and to hope it will not come this big again?

It is up to you if you would like to consider this. However you may wish to just let your system settle on it's own, I can see your symptoms have been severe at points, but you seem to be getting much better periods here and there, and I think this is a good sign that given some more time you will improve further.

You could still consider RI, it has been seen to work well, there are risks it could make things worse, we mitigate these risks by using a very low dose, increasing slighty if appropriate until things are settled down. This has worked well for others, however we are always more keen to keep people off the drugs if they can cope and their symptoms are moderate and fluctuating as yours are.

Chippy

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

It is up to you if you would like to consider this. However you may wish to just let your system settle on it's own, I can see your symptoms have been severe at points, but you seem to be getting much better periods here and there, and I think this is a good sign that given some more time you will improve further.

I would go with Chippy, if it's most of the time tolerable, I wouldn't recommend reinstating after 6 months, there is a risk to reinstatement.

I would recommend you to learn how to cope with the symptoms and accept them:

Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

Being a human, and dealing with emotions in WD

Breath And Meditation

Edited September 11Sep 11 by Lighty
Used the wrong word.

Hi everyone,

@Chippy thank you so much for your advise! It helped me a lot. I can feel from your reply that my case is not THAT bad and it brings me relief. Thank you for that.

Yesterday was also little better I think - still about 5 regarding intensity. The new thing was, that in the evening the big relief window didn´t come - I think it was becouse all day was better so there was smaller difference between ,,bad" and ,,relief" (or maybe just wishful thinking haha).

My biggest concern now is the feeling like I am not the one who thinks my thougts and speak my words - I feel like it is behind courtain. I overthink ,,where do my thoughts come from, how do they are created," and ,,do I create them or do they emerge automatically" a lot. When I think about that, I feel that feeling of having no ,,foundation" of my personality and that creates anxiety, panic and so on over and over again.

Is something like this normal?

Since your last reply I am determined to make it through and try not to RI. I want to give my body peace of no drug/medicine to recover by itself. I hope I am making right choice.

Thanks again,

m.

2 hours ago, Mína said:

@Chippy thank you so much for your advise! It helped me a lot. I can feel from your reply that my case is not THAT bad and it brings me relief. Thank you for that.

My pleasure, and yes I think you are doing much better than you realise :)

2 hours ago, Mína said:

Yesterday was also little better I think - still about 5 regarding intensity.

Good :)

2 hours ago, Mína said:

The new thing was, that in the evening the big relief window didn´t come - I think it was becouse all day was better so there was smaller difference between ,,bad" and ,,relief" (or maybe just wishful thinking haha).

My biggest concern now is the feeling like I am not the one who thinks my thougts and speak my words - I feel like it is behind courtain. I overthink ,,where do my thoughts come from, how do they are created," and ,,do I create them or do they emerge automatically" a lot. When I think about that, I feel that feeling of having no ,,foundation" of my personality and that creates anxiety, panic and so on over and over again.

Is something like this normal?

Yes for sure! Sounds like a little DP/DR, many of us experience this kind of thing. Mainly with symptoms it is best to no hyper focus on one thing or another. They all amount to the same outcome and will likley wax and wane as you stablise.

2 hours ago, Mína said:

Since your last reply I am determined to make it through and try not to RI. I want to give my body peace of no drug/medicine to recover by itself. I hope I am making right choice.

I think looking at how you are doing, this is wise :) x

Greetings once again!

I thought I will give little update here.

@Chippy thanks once again for your reply, it helped me enormously :)

Last two days was overall better but with a bigger spike in the afternoon.

I can handle morning spike already - I just try don´t overthink it too much and go eat asap (I figured eating generally helps a lot - especially fatty healthy foods) and the bad mood and overall symptoms go quieter.

Afternoon spike is kinda harder to overcome - derealisation, overthinking and anxiety can overcome me more easily.

Evenings are always little better as well - between 19:00 and 21:00 things start to feel a bit more normal again.

I can eat better now, I have my apetite back (maybe even strengthned?), I even have a bit of sekssy dreams (which I feel is good sign, since my body have energy for this = energy for overall living and healing). I can now play a guitar or some silly game on PC for a bit, that´s great relief as well - that I can. Sleep is better too I think.

What always suprise me is when symptoms fluctuate - for example yesterday headache and pressure in head with dizinness, lightheadness - that is new and scared me a bit again.

I also still can´t go for a walk for example or out of my flat, becouse I feel very anxious and afraid outside.

But I guess to apply once again the same rule: not hyperfocus on it...?

Thanks and be well,

m.

18 hours ago, Mína said:

I thought I will give little update here.

Great thanks!

18 hours ago, Mína said:

@Chippy thanks once again for your reply, it helped me enormously :)

Glad it could help

18 hours ago, Mína said:

Last two days was overall better

Good to hear :)

18 hours ago, Mína said:

I just try don´t overthink it too much

This is very good and the way to go

18 hours ago, Mína said:

I figured eating generally helps a lot

Ive seen this a lot tbh

18 hours ago, Mína said:

Evenings are always little better as well - between 19:00 and 21:00 things start to feel a bit more normal again.

Common and a great sign

18 hours ago, Mína said:

I have my apetite back (maybe even strengthned?),

Good, apetites can fluctuate, I have had this, no desire to eat, then can't stop, all very normal.

18 hours ago, Mína said:

I can eat better now, I have my apetite back (maybe even strengthned?), I even have a bit of sekssy dreams (which I feel is good sign, since my body have energy for this = energy for overall living and healing). I can now play a guitar or some silly game on PC for a bit, that´s great relief as well - that I can. Sleep is better too I think.

All sounds very positive :)

18 hours ago, Mína said:

I also still can´t go for a walk for example or out of my flat, becouse I feel very anxious and afraid outside.

But I guess to apply once again the same rule: not hyperfocus on it...?

100%, we have no control over the symptoms and the healing path, however we can control how we respond to the symptoms. Acceptance, not hyper focusing, and trusting in the bodies ability to heal and recalibrate. Time is all of our friends

Hi @Chippy and others!

I just wanna share little update here.

Apetite is still good, I am trying to eat as much as possible - I have never eaten that much food per day in my life.

The window-wave schedule changed a bit. Now it is worse between 17:00 and 20:00. I also can go out for a short walk or to buy something to the store while the anxiety is becoming bearable even outside.

Derealisation/anxiety/overthinking/rumination is still with me very often, but is getting a little better day by day.

I also wanted to ask for an advice but it´s little personal/sensitive so I am giving trigger warning:

the problem:

Yesterday I felt a bit better and masturbated first time since the beggining of this wave (almost 3 weeks ago). Today´s morning was normal, but in the afternoon I started feel worse and having also little panic in the evening. Is this normal? I have read some posts on SA and now I am afraid that it will start worsening all the symptoms. I will not do it again soon ofc but is it possible that only today is worse and other days will be getting better again or do I messed up big time?

Thanks and have a nice evening,

M.

Hey @Mína -- I'm glad to hear your wave's easing a bit 😊. As for your question, I would try not to worry too much. I know it's possible that sex can cause issues, but it's not something I've heard from too many folks. It's very possible that these are just the normal ups and downs of your wave. Just try to focus on the here and now and not worry about what tomorrow will bring. Healing is happening 💜

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share an update again, since I am little bit down today. I hope that´s okay and that I am not too anyoing.

First of all thanks again @SarahMc and @Chippy for your previous responses.

Today is my 15th day of big wave that came half year after CT Esctilopram almost without warning (I´v had only small waves here and there before). It's really hard. Especially because I felt like it was slowly (really slowly) getting better. But in that context, every next collapse is a surprise and a pain. You expect it to be better by now and then suddenly it's a drop. I don't know if this one has any rational explanation or not. Maybe it's the result of masturb*tion four days ago (because since then all the symptoms have been a bit worse) or if it's the result of me going to the doctor in a big city today and then going to the mall for lunch (actually, it was the first time I'd been completely outside my hometown and into a big city). When I was in the mall, a wave of overthinking hit me - I suddenly felt like I didn't know where my thoughts were coming from and that I didn't know how speaking itself works (although of course I know and it's not obvious from the outside, my girlfriend wouldn't know if I hadn't told her). I guess it's just rumination and OCD symptoms (?) which I've probably always had when I think about it, but never this crazy with panic attacks. Oh my, I hope I'm not going crazy.

What do you think?

Thanks and have a calm evening

Mina

38 minutes ago, Mína said:

I wanted to share an update again, since I am little bit down today. I hope that´s okay and that I am not too anyoing.

That's what this forum is for!

39 minutes ago, Mína said:

First of all thanks again @SarahMc and @Chippy for your previous responses.

Anytime 😊

39 minutes ago, Mína said:

Today is my 15th day of big wave that came half year after CT Esctilopram almost without warning (I´v had only small waves here and there before). It's really hard. Especially because I felt like it was slowly (really slowly) getting better. But in that context, every next collapse is a surprise and a pain. You expect it to be better by now and then suddenly it's a drop. I don't know if this one has any rational explanation or not. Maybe it's the result of masturb*tion four days ago (because since then all the symptoms have been a bit worse) or if it's the result of me going to the doctor in a big city today and then going to the mall for lunch (actually, it was the first time I'd been completely outside my hometown and into a big city). When I was in the mall, a wave of overthinking hit me - I suddenly felt like I didn't know where my thoughts were coming from and that I didn't know how speaking itself works (although of course I know and it's not obvious from the outside, my girlfriend wouldn't know if I hadn't told her). I guess it's just rumination and OCD symptoms (?) which I've probably always had when I think about it, but never this crazy with panic attacks. Oh my, I hope I'm not going crazy.

Sorry you're in a wave @Mína. It's completely normal to try to search for the cause of a wave, especially when it feels longer or worse than previous waves. If you look around this forum you'll see many (including me!) who have done the same thing. But in the end, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that it is a wave, and it will pass. You're not going crazy, this is a completely normal (though of course horrible) part of WD. You're going to be ok 💜

Hey Mina thank you for the update. Sorry you are seeing some wavy symptoms. It's common to question what is WD and what is yourself. Have a read: Being a human, and dealing with emotions in WD

Hi @Mína m, just reading through your thread, you are absolutely correct on escitalopram being very potent, I was on citalopram which is the older one, and yes escitalopram is double the strength of citalopram, so absolutely what you are experiencing is without a doubt WD symptoms, especially if you CT. As when you talk about the Mall & food court, it definitely sound like your body/CNS was overstimulated by the people, nois,lights . This affected me in the very beginning. We are all here for you anytime, this forum is absolutely wonderful, with so many knowledgeable, caring, compassionate, thoughtful people ever. Definitely feels like family. Welcome again to the forum. 🤗

I used to take Escitalopram and Citalopram on and off for 10 years, and unfortunately, I quit cold turkey because my doctor did not even believe in withdrawal symptoms. Yes, my symptoms started out physical, then things calmed down, but then it turned intensely psychological and started fluctuating. I went through exactly what you are going through, but even more severe, which is actually a good sign for you. Appetite is the first thing to improve, and it continues to get better with very few fluctuations. As for the sexual aspect—and I apologize for discussing such a sensitive topic—I used to get panic attacks half an hour after that. Then it turned into what you are experiencing now, and eventually, it became completely normal. Of course, this took 11 months to stabilize, and while it still happens now, it is very mild and rare. I believe it is due to natural chemical changes, but we have become hypersensitive. A friend of mine who also takes Escitalopram and I both became sensitive to supplements and food, especially Vitamin B in all its forms. Symptoms calm down and return—sometimes gradually and sometimes severely. Do not overthink it, and do not try to link things together. Just accept everything as it is. I wish everyone a full recovery

---

Hi everyone,

thanks @SarahMc @Chippy @Bernadette and @lost4ever for your responses.

It's good to have confirmation from you that escitalopram really has increased strength. I thank everyone for your words, especially those who have also had citalopram or escitalopram - somehow I feel more capable of handling it.

It's been two weeks since I wrote the last update, so here it goes.

The most noticeable symptoms that remain are anxiety, which changes differently during the day. Sometimes it almost disappears completely and sometimes it gets much stronger again. Unfortunately, it disrupts my sleep a lot, so I wake up a lot at night and often can't fall asleep. It fluctuates a lot every night, sometimes I wake up twice, sometimes more, but overall I feel that my sleep is rather light. I still can't go or drive very far from my apartment, because my anxiety increases in proportion to the number of sensations around me. The times when anxiety gets better and worse throughout the day vary. One week it was better in the evening, one in the morning, and one in the afternoon.

The most noticeable for me are the OCD symptoms associated with DP/DR, the rumination is intense and happens really often. I tried to sign up with a CBT therapist to develop some method for this, so we'll see if they take me.

After more than a month with this wave, I'm exhausted and very annoyed. I really hope that this terrible DP/DR will go away.

Have a nice day everyone,

Mína

Hey @Mína thank you for the update, I am sorry things are difficult for you. Still very early days and lots of scope for things to improve from here. Anything you can do to keep your nervous system calm and peaceful is wise. Taking it one day at a time and practicing acceptance is key. The body is amazing, trust it to put this right for you.

Thanks for the update @Mína. I'm sorry you're still in the trenches. I think it's a really good sign that your symptoms are still changing around so much -- it shows that your nervous system is still working hard on finding that stability. As Chippy says, practicing acceptance and allowing your symptoms to come and go without fixating on them too much is key. I hope the CBT helps as well. One foot in front of the other, you'll get there 😊