Hi all, nice to be here. I’m another refugee from SA. So sad that forum is closing but very grateful to Luke for giving us a new home.

 

I have been tapering citalopram since June 2021 and am currently at .19mg and in the endgame taper. I feel every tiny cut at this point. See below for my SA intro thread. Wishing everyone here healing from this nightmare. ❤️‍🩹 🤗
 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/25184-kat66-should-i-reinstate-or-plough-on-drug-free/

Hi Kat66

 

Welcome to the forum! You are very welcome indeed.

 

Thank you for making your intro thread and linking through to your sa blog. 🙂 

 

It's good to hear you are nearing the end of your taper. Im sorry you are finding the last stage hard. This as you know is common.

 

How are you at the moment?

 

Chippy

 

Thank you for joining. I hope that this place provides you with similar support to what you have been receiving in the past, and that this is where you will ultimately write a success story.

  

16 hours ago, Kat66 said:

Hi all, nice to be here. I’m another refugee from SA. So sad that forum is closing but very grateful to Luke for giving us a new home.

 

I did not do this alone, @Chippy also deserves a huge amount of credit and recognition for his work on this.

3 hours ago, Luke said:

Thank you for joining. I hope that this place provides you with similar support to what you have been receiving in the past, and that this is where you will ultimately write a success story.

  

 

I did not do this alone, @Chippy also deserves a huge amount of credit and recognition for his work on this.

Yes I agree. Top points for @Luke initiating this forum and for @Chippy who is very knowledgeable and incredibly responsive when needed. 👏

Thank you @Chippy and @Luke for the warm welcome. 
 

I am mainly anhedonic and apathetic at the moment. Not bothered about anything much. Is it normal to get this low in a taper and still get such strong anhedonia?

 

 

1 hour ago, Kat66 said:

Thank you @Chippy and @Luke for the warm welcome. 
 

I am mainly anhedonic and apathetic at the moment. Not bothered about anything much. Is it normal to get this low in a taper and still get such strong anhedonia?

 

 

Wow @Kat66 you’ve been tapering for a long while. Kudos to you for your tenacity and patience. I’m going though deep dark emotions, sometimes the anhedonia is worse though. Take care 🤗

5 hours ago, Kat66 said:

Thank you @Chippy and @Luke for the warm welcome. 
 

I am mainly anhedonic and apathetic at the moment. Not bothered about anything much. Is it normal to get this low in a taper and still get such strong anhedonia?

 

 

Hey @Kat66 the closer I get to the end the more challenging it becomes, so decided to wait even longer in between, it could indicate that the system is not able to balance itself enough.

Sorry you are experiencing this, hopefully it gets better for you very soon, take good care.

Edited February 6Feb 6 by Fullhealing

6 hours ago, Kat66 said:

Thank you @Chippy and @Luke for the warm welcome. 
 

I am mainly anhedonic and apathetic at the moment. Not bothered about anything much. Is it normal to get this low in a taper and still get such strong anhedonia?

 

 

Hey I’m sorry to read this. How long has it been? Does it tie in with a drop do you think? Have you been ok till this point?

9 hours ago, Kat66 said:

Thank you @Chippy and @Luke for the warm welcome. 
 

I am mainly anhedonic and apathetic at the moment. Not bothered about anything much. Is it normal to get this low in a taper and still get such strong anhedonia?

 

I did not use a drug long-term (a few months), nor do a long taper (mine was a month).

 

However, I was anhedonic and emotionally blunted to an extent on the drug, and then suffered with it for a very long time off of it.

 

It's absolutely possible, yes. However, people can and do recover from it in time.

Thank you so much @Luke (and @Chippy) for this site. I would be totally lost without the connection I feel to others who are dealing with similar struggles to my own 🙏

On 2/6/2026 at 8:23 AM, Luke said:

 

I did not use a drug long-term (a few months), nor do a long taper (mine was a month).

 

However, I was anhedonic and emotionally blunted to an extent on the drug, and then suffered with it for a very long time off of it.

 

It's absolutely possible, yes. However, people can and do recover from it in time.

Thanks Luke, I’m so sorry you suffered for so long after such a short time on it. Anhedonia is the worst.

On 2/6/2026 at 4:47 AM, Chippy said:

Hey I’m sorry to read this. How long has it been? Does it tie in with a drop do you think? Have you been ok till this point?

At this point Chippy I just don’t know any more. Yes it probably is related to my recent two drops. No I’ve been far from ok. The occasional window but very far and few. I’m considering a micro taper for the remainder of my taper in the hope that smooths things out 🤞

15 hours ago, Catbird said:

Thank you so much @Luke (and @Chippy) for this site. I would be totally lost without the connection I feel to others who are dealing with similar struggles to my own 🙏

Hi Catbird, have you come over from SA, I seem to remember your name!

2 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

At this point Chippy I just don’t know any more. Yes it probably is related to my recent two drops. No I’ve been far from ok. The occasional window but very far and few. I’m considering a micro taper for the remainder of my taper in the hope that smooths things out 🤞

Oh Im really sorry to hear that @Kat66. It's always good to taper from a place of stability. Id not drop anymore and give yourself some time to settle if it were me.

7 hours ago, Kat66 said:

Catbird, have you come over from SA, I seem to remember your name!

Yes @Kat66 I have. Joined SA in April last year 🤗

21 hours ago, Chippy said:

Oh Im really sorry to hear that @Kat66. It's always good to taper from a place of stability. Id not drop anymore and give yourself some time to settle if it were me.

I’m going to start the micro taper. If things get hairy I’ll reassess 🤞

17 minutes ago, Kat66 said:

I’m going to start the micro taper. If things get hairy I’ll reassess

Hi @Kat66 I found it much smoother to micro taper than do 10% drops. I’m now doing 7.5-8%, but in 4 small steps followed by 2 week hold. You’ve done really well to get to where you’re a🤗t 

1 hour ago, Kat66 said:

I’m going to start the micro taper. If things get hairy I’ll reassess 🤞

Good luck with it! Slow wins the race 🙂 

Hi Kat66, sorry to hear things are tough.  I'm also finding the lower doses are slamming me.  I make such small cuts and hold for as long as it needs but my symptoms can be debilitating.  I found though, if I take things very slowly I do get through each dose-drop cycle so please keep that in mind.  Hope this brings you some comfort; this won't last forever and we'll get though. xx

@Kat66, Hi, just dropping by to see how you are doing, hope all is well.🙂

Hi @Sonia2 here is what I've just posted on facebook; gives you an idea of where I'm at!

 

I feel so battle weary and broken by all this. I've been tapering since 2021 after 8 years continually on an SSRI. Fast forward to now and I am in the endgame of my taper, 0.15mg. I have also gone through menopause at the same time. My marriage has been so battered and I don't know if it will survive. I hope so. My husband is also worn down by my ugly withdrawal battle but remains steadfastly supportive and loving. I don't know who I am any more and even when I'm off the drug I have no clue what will happen. By all accounts it's far from over when you get to the magic zero. I don't smile, don't laugh, and am just plodding through my days. I look forward to sleeping and a couple of TV shows that temporarily take me out of my head, which is filled with a level of catastrophic rumination beyond anything I've ever experienced before. I long for a feeling of peace. To just enjoy life. Maybe that day will come. I hope so.

Edited March 5Mar 5 by Kat66

On 2/8/2026 at 9:40 PM, Mamgu said:

Hi Kat66, sorry to hear things are tough.  I'm also finding the lower doses are slamming me.  I make such small cuts and hold for as long as it needs but my symptoms can be debilitating.  I found though, if I take things very slowly I do get through each dose-drop cycle so please keep that in mind.  Hope this brings you some comfort; this won't last forever and we'll get though. xx

You and I are at very similar points. I'm at 0.15mg and have made a plan to drop to 0.11, 0.07, 0.035, then jump. With around 2 weeks between each cut. Wish me luck!!

@Kat66 Hi Kat, I'm so sorry and I do empathise with you. It's just so hard to believe how these drugs can be so cruel. I guess we have to have faith and belief that we will get through this, as others have. It only natural you are missing your old life, it like a bereavement, I feel that too. On the positive side you have a supportive, caring husband and you are still yearning for your old life back which shows you haven't given up. One day you will wake up and all of this will be a distant nightmare. Baby steps Kat, you will get there.😊🙏

48 minutes ago, Sonia2 said:

@Kat66 Hi Kat, I'm so sorry and I do empathise with you. It's just so hard to believe how these drugs can be so cruel. I guess we have to have faith and belief that we will get through this, as others have. It only natural you are missing your old life, it like a bereavement, I feel that too. On the positive side you have a supportive, caring husband and you are still yearning for your old life back which shows you haven't given up. One day you will wake up and all of this will be a distant nightmare. Baby steps Kat, you will get there.😊🙏

Thank you Sonia, I've never dug so deeply in my life. It sounds like you're coming through to better days possibly? I do hope so.

3 hours ago, Kat66 said:

You and I are at very similar points. I'm at 0.15mg and have made a plan to drop to 0.11, 0.07, 0.035, then jump. With around 2 weeks between each cut. Wish me luck!!

 

I'm really not sure about how to manage this end bit, I'm far too scared to attempt an exit strategy just yet as I'm experiencing strong symptoms.  But on the other hand, I'm not sure if this is what it is and I just need to plough on through.  

I'm pleased you've got a plan to get off, from what you've mentioned in your previous post you really are suffering much more than I am.  So yes I wish you all the luck and hope you can soon start enjoying life again. xx