Update long overdue

As of today I've been around 9 months off antidepressants and 19 weeks pregnant.

 

The last few months were difficult mostly due to pregnancy symptoms, I've never been so overstimulated and exhausted in my entire life. But now I feel like I'm starting to climb out of this pit of misery and starting to feel more like a normal person. Of course there are still many physical issues, mostly digestive but it's very manageable. I'm experiencing almost no withdrawal symptoms or they've been overpowered by all the pregnancy stuff. Things that remained are still very low libido (but I think it's a bit higher due to hormones) and occasional existential dread. From time to time I get overwhelmed by emotions, like sadness or rage, but generally it's not that bad. I think my anxiety levels are close pre-AD times, which from today's perspective seems pretty amazing, after all the terror of withdrawal. 

I'm a bit afraid of the hormone withdrawal postpartum, I really hope it won't be as bad as the AD withdrawal.

 

Praying for healing for everyone in the community 🙏🏽 

Hopefully next update will come sooner!

Love, 

Justyna 

3 hours ago, Justyna said:

Update long overdue

As of today I've been around 9 months off antidepressants and 19 weeks pregnant.

 

The last few months were difficult mostly due to pregnancy symptoms, I've never been so overstimulated and exhausted in my entire life. But now I feel like I'm starting to climb out of this pit of misery and starting to feel more like a normal person. Of course there are still many physical issues, mostly digestive but it's very manageable. I'm experiencing almost no withdrawal symptoms or they've been overpowered by all the pregnancy stuff. Things that remained are still very low libido (but I think it's a bit higher due to hormones) and occasional existential dread. From time to time I get overwhelmed by emotions, like sadness or rage, but generally it's not that bad. I think my anxiety levels are close pre-AD times, which from today's perspective seems pretty amazing, after all the terror of withdrawal. 

I'm a bit afraid of the hormone withdrawal postpartum, I really hope it won't be as bad as the AD withdrawal.

 

Praying for healing for everyone in the community 🙏🏽 

Hopefully next update will come sooner!

Love, 

Justyna 

Glad to hear you are starting to become better.

Remember to practice acceptance, to remember symptoms are just symptoms and they are temporary (not permanent), and if it gets hard at times, surrender to your body and let it do what it needs to do.

Edited April 7Apr 7 by Lighty

Update after 1 year off of antidepressants

8 months pregnant

I wanted to update way sooner, but somehow my mental capacity wasn't there. Now I finally found some executive function to actually do it.

The last few months have been ups and downs and the closer I get to the end of pregnancy, the more anxiety I experience.

All the symptoms are very typical for pregnancy so I don't know how much of that could be a withdrawal. After an awful first trimester, the second one was pretty good, like all these hormones somehow reset my nervous system or maybe just acted like an anti anxiety drug, I don't know.

Now, the third trimester is worse again. I have problems with falling asleep and I'm just exhausted. Also my mood is all over the place but I'm mostly anxious and angry. I often take it out on my husband and then feel regret. But then I get angry again and the cycle continues...

I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I used to have two friends but now I see them like twice a year as none of them lives close.

I'm afraid, more and more, of what's coming. Mostly that when hormones crash I will get terrible postpartum depression/anxiety and won't be a good parent.

I also still have some existential dread but much less intense, it's more in the back of my mind.

On the other hand, I can't wait for this pregnancy to be over because of all the physical discomfort that comes with it. Sometimes I even feel resentment towards the fetus even though I know it's not his fault, he's just doing what fetuses do. But I can't help but feel like my body has been invaded and it's no longer mine. I'm very ashamed of these feelings and then anxiety comes again, what if I won't like the baby? They don't deserve a resentful mother :(

Other than that everything seems to be going well.

Love and healing to everyone,

Justyna

Edited July 25Jul 25 by Justyna
Skipped a word

9 hours ago, Justyna said:

Update after 1 year off of antidepressants

8 months pregnant

I wanted to update way sooner, but somehow my mental capacity wasn't there. Now I finally found some executive function to actually do it.

The last few months have been ups and downs and the closer I get to the end of pregnancy, the more anxiety I experience.

All the symptoms are very typical for pregnancy so I don't know how much of that could be a withdrawal. After an awful first trimester, the second one was pretty good, like all these hormones somehow reset my nervous system or maybe just acted like an anti anxiety drug, I don't know.

Now, the third trimester is worse again. I have problems with falling asleep and I'm just exhausted. Also my mood is all over the place but I'm mostly anxious and angry. I often take it out on my husband and then feel regret. But then I get angry again and the cycle continues...

I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I used to have two friends but now I see them like twice a year as none of them lives close.

I'm afraid, more and more, of what's coming. Mostly that when hormones crash I will get terrible postpartum depression/anxiety and won't be a good parent.

I also still have some existential dread but much less intense, it's more in the back of my mind.

On the other hand, I can't wait for this pregnancy to be over because of all the physical discomfort that comes with it. Sometimes I even feel resentment towards the fetus even though I know it's not his fault, he's just doing what fetuses do. But I can't help but feel like my body has been invaded and it's no longer mine. I'm very ashamed of these feelings and then anxiety comes again, what if I won't like the baby? They don't deserve a resentful mother :(

Other than that everything seems to be going well.

Love and healing to everyone,

Justyna

Thanks for the update @Justyna glad the pregnacy is going well. I think you are brave for taking it on in WD. My best advicce would be to take it one day at a time. Being a parent is not easy at the best of times and in WD it adds another layer. I think we can all get caught up in 'what if' trap. Try to stay present in the day and don't give thought to the past or future. Only the now. It will keep your nervous system peaceful and calm and help with your symptoms. Also take ALL the help you can get. No guilt about this.

1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Thanks for the update @Justyna glad the pregnacy is going well. I think you are brave for taking it on in WD. My best advicce would be to take it one day at a time. Being a parent is not easy at the best of times and in WD it adds another layer. I think we can all get caught up in 'what if' trap. Try to stay present in the day and don't give thought to the past or future. Only the now. It will keep your nervous system peaceful and calm and help with your symptoms. Also take ALL the help you can get. No guilt about this.

Thanks Chippy for your kind reply, all sounds very reasonable unlike my thoughts last night! Trying to stay grounded and in the present moment is definitely a challenge lately, everything is about preparation for the arrival of the baby. But I will try, maybe I'll be able to meditate again, which I haven't done in so many months.

1 hour ago, Justyna said:

But I will try, maybe I'll be able to meditate again, which I haven't done in so many months.

That’s the main thing. It’s very hard so just don’t give up each time it becomes hard. Just bring yourself back to the moment accepting you are doing your best. I think meditation some like a wonderful idea. Xxxx

Justyna, first of all, congratulations to to upcoming arrival of your baby boy, and I agree with Chippy, live in the moment and present and ask for help when needed, you must be getting so excited. You will do amazing. Were all here for any support or guidance we can offer. Congratulations again. 🧑‍🍼

On 7/27/2026 at 10:47 PM, Bernadette said:

Justyna, first of all, congratulations to to upcoming arrival of your baby boy, and I agree with Chippy, live in the moment and present and ask for help when needed, you must be getting so excited. You will do amazing. Were all here for any support or guidance we can offer. Congratulations again. 🧑‍🍼

Thank you Bernadette!

You're right, I need to live in the moment, because when I think of the future it feels so scary. But I guess the reality might not be that bad.