1 hour ago, Chippy said:

Sounds like a positive update to me, every other day symptoms are common, it is great you can see windows happening more regularly, and also good you can see yourself coming back online at times. Youre doing great, hope this continues for you.

Thanks @Chippy it's strange and I don't totally trust it yet 😬 but trying to stay positive.

I'm having a hard time trusting that I'm genuinely improving. Over the last couple of weeks I've noticed some positive changes: my morning anxiety is almost non-existent, symptoms are often more in the background, I'm laughing more, engaging with life more, and generally feeling more like myself. Even when I get spikes, they don't seem as intense as they used to be.

The problem is that after the last wave, I keep wondering if this is just a large window rather than a real improvement in my baseline. Part of me feels like things have genuinely shifted in a positive direction, but another part is waiting for it to be taken away again.

Did anyone else experience this stage where improvement was becoming noticeable, but it was difficult to trust because of previous setbacks or waves

Yes, this is very typical of how recovery works. Even after months of improvement, you can get hit by a wave for no apparent reason. It doesn't mean you're sliding backwards--its more like a bump in the road. Recovery is rarely linear--its more like a rollercoaster of ups and downs. But you have the windows to hang onto when you hit a wave. Gradually the waves will get less intense and not last quite as long. You are on the road to recovery!

1 hour ago, mstimc60 said:

Yes, this is very typical of how recovery works. Even after months of improvement, you can get hit by a wave for no apparent reason. It doesn't mean you're sliding backwards--its more like a bump in the road. Recovery is rarely linear--its more like a rollercoaster of ups and downs. But you have the windows to hang onto when you hit a wave. Gradually the waves will get less intense and not last quite as long. You are on the road to recovery!

I understand, what I'm having trouble with is trusting my progress, I've been feeling better overall but my mind keeps going back to what's the catch, when is it going to collapse again. It's trusting you feel better.

9 minutes ago, Troy021079 said:

I understand, what I'm having trouble with is trusting my progress, I've been feeling better overall but my mind keeps going back to what's the catch, when is it going to collapse again. It's trusting you feel better.

Yes, I get it 100%. Part of us wants to hang onto the fear and doubt. A major challenge in recovery is convincing yourself that it’s okay to feel okay.

8 hours ago, Troy021079 said:

I'm having a hard time trusting that I'm genuinely improving. Over the last couple of weeks I've noticed some positive changes: my morning anxiety is almost non-existent, symptoms are often more in the background, I'm laughing more, engaging with life more, and generally feeling more like myself. Even when I get spikes, they don't seem as intense as they used to be.

The problem is that after the last wave, I keep wondering if this is just a large window rather than a real improvement in my baseline. Part of me feels like things have genuinely shifted in a positive direction, but another part is waiting for it to be taken away again.

Did anyone else experience this stage where improvement was becoming noticeable, but it was difficult to trust because of previous setbacks or waves

Having large windows when you weren't previously is improving. As are the other things you mentioned, such as less intense bad times.

That doesn't mean that setbacks might not happen, but it's clear improvement on average if the ok times are better and the bad times are less severe, even if there are still bad times.

Had a good 3 week window with a few spikier days obviously, now thrown back in to a wave just as I was building momentum back with life. Withdrawal is very cruel!

Sure, but 3 weeks of feeling decent is very good progress and you're clearly trending towards improvement over time.

Hopefully in more time, you will have more.

6 minutes ago, Luke said:

Sure, but 3 weeks of feeling decent is very good progress and you're clearly trending towards improvement over time.

Hopefully in more time, you will have more.

Yes, it just hits hard when you slide a bit. Having said that, this wave hasn't floored me like previous ones. Holding on to hope I get another good window 🙏

4 hours ago, Troy021079 said:

Withdrawal is very cruel!

It is.

4 hours ago, Troy021079 said:

Had a good 3 week window with a few spikier days obviously,

Good to hear, more to come :)

Hi again. Just wondering if anyone can answer from personal experience, or has a good understanding of this.

My symptoms have improved quite a bit and are often just in the background now. Practising allowing has helped a lot.

I still have a background "hum" and some morning anxiety, but overall things are definitely better, with the occasional spikier day.

For those further along in recovery, did the background hum and morning anxiety continue to improve over time? I'm having fewer waves, I'm back at the gym, and life is moving forward. It's just these lingering symptoms that I'm hoping will continue to fade. 🙏

5 hours ago, Troy021079 said:

Hi again. Just wondering if anyone can answer from personal experience, or has a good understanding of this.

My symptoms have improved quite a bit and are often just in the background now. Practising allowing has helped a lot.

I still have a background "hum" and some morning anxiety, but overall things are definitely better, with the occasional spikier day.

For those further along in recovery, did the background hum and morning anxiety continue to improve over time? I'm having fewer waves, I'm back at the gym, and life is moving forward. It's just these lingering symptoms that I'm hoping will continue to fade. 🙏

Hey Troy I moved this back here. We try to keep to just one thread person on here similar to SA,

Sounds like things are going really well for you and great job practicing the coping skills!! :)

It is very common for symptoms to linger and you can still get windows and waves at any stage in your recovery so nothing to worry about there.

I think it can vary from person to person, some will suddenly turn a corner and wake up 100%, but most I think slowly improve over time (with little waves on route)

5 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Hey Troy I moved this back here. We try to keep to just one thread person on here similar to SA,

Sounds like things are going really well for you and great job practicing the coping skills!! :)

It is very common for symptoms to linger and you can still get windows and waves at any stage in your recovery so nothing to worry about there.

I think it can vary from person to person, some will suddenly turn a corner and wake up 100%, but most I think slowly improve over time (with little waves on route)

Thanks @Chippy I think it's a good sign but man, I wish the last of these symptoms would just go! Some days are still hard and stress still hits harder than it should but I don't spiral like I use to.

22 hours ago, Troy021079 said:

I wish the last of these symptoms would just go!

They will fade over time I have no doubt!

22 hours ago, Troy021079 said:

Some days are still hard and stress still hits harder than it should but I don't spiral like I use to.

This is great! I truly believe WD teaches us, patience and acceptance, like a super power, I would take the opportunity to keep practicing that. One day I will be reading your success story, no doubt!

22 hours ago, Chippy said:

They will fade over time I have no doubt!

This is great! I truly believe WD teaches us, patience and acceptance, like a super power, I would take the opportunity to keep practicing that. One day I will be reading your success story, no doubt!

Thanks @Chippy I hope it's sooner rather than later.

Arrrggh. In a horrible wave, such a good stretch and then this. Sorry, I just needed to get this out 🫤

56 minutes ago, Troy021079 said:

Arrrggh. In a horrible wave, such a good stretch and then this. Sorry, I just needed to get this out 🫤

Sorry to hear this Troy theres nothing more wounding than a great stretch and a wave crashes. At least we know your new longer window is on the other side waiting 😊 you go this!

@Troy021079 2 months ago, you were saying that you'd noticed improvements but were finding it difficult to trust them.

Now, although it's hard and you're in a wave, you've had a clear good stretch.

Try to reassure yourself that over time this is clear progress and in time it is likely you'll keep making progress. Hopefully one of these waves will be the last.

1 hour ago, Troy021079 said:

Arrrggh. In a horrible wave, such a good stretch and then this. Sorry, I just needed to get this out 🫤

Good to let it out sometimes. Windows and waves mate. They can test out patience for sure, however they are part of the process unfortunately as Luke has said, you have this and we are here for you. Vent all you need.

11 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Good to let it out sometimes. Windows and waves mate. They can test out patience for sure, however they are part of the process unfortunately as Luke has said, you have this and we are here for you. Vent all you need.

Thank you mate, it's hard because it feels like you're going backwards especially after a good stretch and feeling like you are getting everything back.

14 minutes ago, Troy021079 said:

Thank you mate, it's hard because it feels like you're going backwards especially after a good stretch and feeling like you are getting everything back.

This is the cruel fact of recovering from this my friend. Main thing is to hang onto those windows. And remember that although this feels rough when in a wave, it is very much part of the process, so not stuck, moving forwards, everyday, we all are.

Well I'm still in this wave, although it has been uncomfortable and loud it has felt different to previous ones. It hasn't floored me like the others, I remained functional mostly (1 day off work). I've managed a couple of maintenance gym sessions also. It's 1.5 weeks since I felt it coming on, I don't know whether I can put this down to an improvement or not 😬

Edited August 13Aug 13 by Troy021079
Typo

1 hour ago, Troy021079 said:

Well I'm still in this wave, although it has been uncomfortable and loud it has felt different to previous ones. It hasn't floored me like the others, I remained functional mostly (1 day off work). I've managed a couple of maintenance gym sessions also. It's 1.5 weeks since I felt it coming on, I don't know whether I can put this down to an improvement or not 😬

Hey troy

Changing how symptoms feel, imo, is a good thing its a sign things are progressing towards a different state as the brain heals in sections. And the fact you stayed mostly functioning is great! Exciting times ahead 😊

3 hours ago, cherrysquid said:

Hey troy

Changing how symptoms feel, imo, is a good thing its a sign things are progressing towards a different state as the brain heals in sections. And the fact you stayed mostly functioning is great! Exciting times ahead 😊

Thanks @cherrysquid I have noticed things aren't quite so intense the last couple of months, I'm still symptomatic but not as bad. As I stated this wave still hit me hard but it felt kind of different to the others 🤷 it's hard to explain.

Hopefully things are turning 🙏

19 minutes ago, Troy021079 said:

As I stated this wave still hit me hard but it felt kind of different to the others 🤷 it's hard to explain.

it's all temporary, it's important to just let the symptoms take over and 'surrender' to them in a way instead of fighting them when they are too strong, makes it 10x easier, either way you got this as you are improving.