15 hours ago, Jack said:

Yeah, I don’t really ever say it that much because I never want to make my suffering seem more important than anyone else’s but it really does seem mine has just been so unlucky and brutal. Even this far out the “damage” or dysregulation is just still quite profound and ongoing with no real end in sight.

I think everyone feels this way mate. In truth there are many this far out feeling like this, and actually you are not that far out in the grand schemes of WD.

15 hours ago, Jack said:

Yes I’m better, yes I’m somewhat recovering my the end of the race is a long way off I’m afraid. And I do get it, I understand that the general consensus is that some people’s dysfunction can be measured by how long they were on the drug, that means just over 6 years on Zoloft and shy of 7 months on Effexor XR for me.

There is no way to accurately predict how long WD will be for someone. The fact you recognise improvement is important, hang onto that. You have seen significant periods of feeling better, it wasn't all that long ago you were talking about how much better the sexual side effects were. It will all come back, going through periods of worsening is normal in recovery, lots of healing happening.

15 hours ago, Jack said:

I was off Zoloft within 2 months! Two entire months after taking the drug at such a high dose for over 6 years entire years, I cut from 100mg to 50 overnight and never went back.. When I say it was AWFUL, I quite literally mean I almost died.

Yes this was obviously not the best way to come off an AD and certainly explains your suffering. You were very brave to get through that acute period.

15 hours ago, Jack said:

I’m tired Chip, so tired of this fight man… We all are, that I know. This site, you people are the only thing that keeps me continuing some days apart from my kids and partner because I’m just HOLDING onto some sliver of hope that I will recover some day.. Some day.

Me too mate. But we have this. Feel free to vent as much as you need! This is the place to do it! We all understand.

You will recover I have no doubt of this. Hang in there.

Jack my dearest Jack...never met you but your writing has touched me so I'm chiming in to say all of your honesty is SO WELCOME. I love the biblical book of Job...he really lets it all hang out. Suffering is just HELL and yes it's tiring.

I really believe your best days are ahead. 30 is so young. So much time to heal...so many body practices and technologies coming down the pike as alternatives to meds as people wake up and push back. As Tom Petty sang, "waiting is the hardest part."

It's the inner game that counts. You may not believe that yet being so young, but truly attractive people have confidence, hair or no hair, wrinkles or no wrinkles ( but plastic surgery can be downright horrifyingly ugly! ) powerhouse body or HUMAN BODY adjusting to the trials of life.

I know you will find hope again as you struggle through to acceptance of the timeline that your body has for you. It could be that now, it's giving you time to look inward and decide what shape you want your masculinity to take. Good men are balanced in understanding strength through suffering while at the same time fighting AGAINST suffering. Which you already do. So you're off to a great start. We need more men who fight like you have. The world needs you so much. Grief is part of that journey and if we follow, it will take us to joy. Thanks for being here. Your adoptive American mother,

Ugh, doing so poorly at the moment. Sleep is non existent again, back into a “up all night, sleep all day” routine again, my brain is just so wired that even medications don’t hit. Symptom wise, overall? Not too bad, better than usual, not a lot of neurological pain or sensations which is a welcomed relief.

GI wise though I’m probably in the worst rut I’ve ever been. The episodic histamine release all over my body from foods, hot showers is disgusting. Itchy all over, breaking out in rashes, spots all over my body. My stomach is an absolute mess! Can’t eat almost 90% of foods now, the bloating, the cramping, the inflammation and pain I’m getting is next level.

This stuff obviously isn’t new to me, but this flare/wave is the worst I’ve had. I’m quite adamant I have SIBO given my symptoms, where they’re located and how food is triggering them. Chances are I’ve probably had it for a number of years, leaky gut seems to be a possible culprit as well but I’m not too familiar nor knowledgeable about GI disorders. A lot of the information online is speculative, very controversial and hit and miss. I definitely need to see a GP but I’m not sure if this is all just withdrawal related or if it’s a seperate issue that needs immediate attention and treatment. Only thing stopping me is the likelihood of needing antibiotics, supplements, protocols - you name it. All I know is I’ve got some serious inflammation going on, the constant cravings for carbohydrates, sugary foods is crippling at this point. I’m struggling to lose weight, I’m always hungry, sometimes I can literally eat 2500-3000 calories in a single sitting and my brain just refuses to believe the stomach is full. It’s like that connection is completely severed…

I’ll gaslight myself sometimes and just say “no, you’ve just got an binge eating disorder” but the likelihood is that my withdrawal, the 7 years of drug use at such high doses, the paradoxical effects for so many years most likely completely disrupted my gut, threw off my microbiome and has allowed for bacteria to overgrow resulting in the GI issues I have still today. The gut brain axis is just so off, my nervous system is still so dysregulated that I’m getting messed up signals to my gut. It’s plausible that if leaky gut is at play here that my gut isn’t breaking down nutrients properly and that’s why I have an iron deficiency despite always eating red meat. It could explain my hair thinning, the rashes, the itchiness, the allergy flare ups. Only way I’ll know is with extensive testing, an endoscopy, perhaps a colonoscopy and a breath test. Doubt I’ll get much help from doctors though, and I certainly don’t have the money to see a naturopath or a functional medical doctor right now.

I’m struggling, I’m losing out on good job opportunities because of this, I can no longer eat almost all foods without histamine reactions, symptoms, pain. I’m down to almost a bare bones low FODMAP diet. I almost wish I had older symptoms back on a daily basis than this. I just wanna live, get on with my life.

On 6/21/2026 at 6:07 PM, Jack said:

My joints hurt, I have feet issues, my back is fucked, I’ve got severe posture issues, all of this is because of the sedentary life I’ve been forced to live. The saying “if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it” really does occur with the human body…

This very much happened to me. To an extent I still struggle with the effects of it, however I'd say that in the last 6 months I've begun to look a lot less unhealthy, less unwell etc. and although I still get aches and pains and various other ailments, they're nowhere near as severe now that I kind of function some of the time, leave the house, do move around a bit etc.

I would hope that this happens organically for you, as your overall wellbeing begins to improve.

It's absolutely true that withdrawal causes all sorts of effects, but then as you say there's a knockon effect of it causing you to live an extremely unhealthy life that is sedentary, with poor sleep, poor nutrition and all sorts.

That stuff can be turned around though, when you are well enough. My experience is that it seems insurmountable and happens slowly, but it happens slowly as you begin to improve, rather than being a binary thing where you get 100% better then only begin the process of living better.

7 hours ago, Jack said:

All I know is I’ve got some serious inflammation going on, the constant cravings for carbohydrates, sugary foods is crippling at this point. I’m struggling to lose weight, I’m always hungry, sometimes I can literally eat 2500-3000 calories in a single sitting and my brain just refuses to believe the stomach is full. It’s like that connection is completely severed…

I have not had major gut symptoms, and do not get flare ups from food. If anything, food helps my other symptoms.

Having said that, I have had plenty of carb and sugar cravings, and this is still a problem for me, although it's much less intense and not as constant as it was.

I guess the point I'm making, is don't entirely discount this as a withdrawal symptom rather than a microbial syndrome, especially as it doesn't seem very consistent and has been happening a lot more recently in this downturn?

7 hours ago, Jack said:

Sleep is non existent again, back into a “up all night, sleep all day” routine again, my brain is just so wired that even medications don’t hit.

What medications are you taking?

7 hours ago, Jack said:

I’m struggling

I'm not surprised at all. This is absolutely brutal.

Not all of our symptoms have aligned, but a lot have and I can absolutely relate to the absolute state these drugs have left you in, because they did very similar to me.

I'm not recovered, but I did begin to improve in time, so it is possible when things are this bad with physical symptoms. I hope that offers some kind of hope.

On 7/4/2026 at 6:17 PM, Luke said:

This very much happened to me. To an extent I still struggle with the effects of it, however I'd say that in the last 6 months I've begun to look a lot less unhealthy, less unwell etc. and although I still get aches and pains and various other ailments, they're nowhere near as severe now that I kind of function some of the time, leave the house, do move around a bit etc.

I would hope that this happens organically for you, as your overall wellbeing begins to improve.

It's absolutely true that withdrawal causes all sorts of effects, but then as you say there's a knockon effect of it causing you to live an extremely unhealthy life that is sedentary, with poor sleep, poor nutrition and all sorts.

That stuff can be turned around though, when you are well enough. My experience is that it seems insurmountable and happens slowly, but it happens slowly as you begin to improve, rather than being a binary thing where you get 100% better then only begin the process of living better.

I have not had major gut symptoms, and do not get flare ups from food. If anything, food helps my other symptoms.

Having said that, I have had plenty of carb and sugar cravings, and this is still a problem for me, although it's much less intense and not as constant as it was.

I guess the point I'm making, is don't entirely discount this as a withdrawal symptom rather than a microbial syndrome, especially as it doesn't seem very consistent and has been happening a lot more recently in this downturn?

What medications are you taking?

I'm not surprised at all. This is absolutely brutal.

Not all of our symptoms have aligned, but a lot have and I can absolutely relate to the absolute state these drugs have left you in, because they did very similar to me.

I'm not recovered, but I did begin to improve in time, so it is possible when things are this bad with physical symptoms. I hope that offers some kind of hope.

I’m taking Vitamin D 1000IU a day, 2x 250mg Magnesium Glycerinate a night, I’m on a blood pressure medication, and that’s it. I take Paracetamol when needed, I try to avoid Ibuprofen unless I really need it for migraines and bodily pains because of my hypertension.

Yeah I’ve known for a good while that my stomach issues; whilst most likely born from my paradoxical effects of taking antidepressants are very much likely a seperate ongoing issue now. I did develop GERD related symptoms early into being on Sertraline, especially once I hit the max dose for that drug, but I do believe my excessive use of NSAID medication like Ibuprofen on a frequent basis was the cause for that. I definitely know for sure and it’s well documented that antidepressant use definitely contributes to dysregulating the gut-brain axis and throwing off the gut microbiome, and contributing to gut lining degeneration. Between chronic amounts of stress I had been under, the use of such a potent and high dose of an SSRI which at the time was causing a 7 month period of severe paradoxical effects to my nervous system and brain is a no brainer that I ended up with such a dysfunctional gut, getting one of the very first strains of COVID back in 2020 didn’t help at all either. I’ve had stomach bugs at least 5-6 times throughout the years as well.

The cravings are a mixed bag, some information online states nervous system dysfunction and a the link between the brain and gut becomes muddied and deregulated causing unwanted “false” signals being sent to the gut that it’s empty, a sensation of hunger and false cravings for particular foods even when there’s no real craving actually occurring.

Then you have the known fact that an overgrown population of bad bacteria within the stomach lining can also cause the constant cravings for carbohydrates and sugary foods because that’s what they thrive off the most. I will say my symptoms of instant bloating after almost every meal, the triggers of onions and other foods that ferment longer in the gut, don’t break down easier and create large amounts of gases all point more towards a SIBO, leaky gut related issue, but I can’t be certain nor will I because I’m not a medical professional.

So you have nervous system, withdrawal related dysfunction that can mimic the exact same symptoms of real gut diseases and disorders. That’s why I have no choice but to pull the pin soon on getting endoscopy as well as a colonoscopy done in order to verify which I don’t like the idea of, especially considering I’ll be put under anaesthesia and being still fairly protracted is a worry for me. If SIBO is present, antibiotic use will have to occur, a strict protocol, further supplementation use will have to be done in order to get rid of the root issue otherwise I’ll never completely recover at all… I don’t like the idea of it all, but the risks of a crash, or further destabilisation will have to be weighed.

On 6/25/2026 at 11:10 AM, mars said:

Jack my dearest Jack...never met you but your writing has touched me so I'm chiming in to say all of your honesty is SO WELCOME. I love the biblical book of Job...he really lets it all hang out. Suffering is just HELL and yes it's tiring.

I really believe your best days are ahead. 30 is so young. So much time to heal...so many body practices and technologies coming down the pike as alternatives to meds as people wake up and push back. As Tom Petty sang, "waiting is the hardest part."

It's the inner game that counts. You may not believe that yet being so young, but truly attractive people have confidence, hair or no hair, wrinkles or no wrinkles ( but plastic surgery can be downright horrifyingly ugly! ) powerhouse body or HUMAN BODY adjusting to the trials of life.

I know you will find hope again as you struggle through to acceptance of the timeline that your body has for you. It could be that now, it's giving you time to look inward and decide what shape you want your masculinity to take. Good men are balanced in understanding strength through suffering while at the same time fighting AGAINST suffering. Which you already do. So you're off to a great start. We need more men who fight like you have. The world needs you so much. Grief is part of that journey and if we follow, it will take us to joy. Thanks for being here. Your adoptive American mother,

I do apologise for the late reply, I appreciate your warm and kind words! I’m very much a person who wears my heart and my emotions on my sleeve, I’m quite an honest and transparent person when it comes to my suffering. Normally I’m much more positive, uplifting and not wallowing in the turmoil of my protracted withdrawal but lately it’s been hard. I turned 30 recently and things just feel… Different now. Like the wool has been pulled from my eyes, like I’m no longer walking aimlessly in a fog that covers my life everyday. And whilst that’s welcoming for sure, it certainly has awoken some deep emotions within me, particularly the idea of adaptation within aging, the uncontrollable shift of evolving. A part of me is still buried into my old self, my image and who I was before all of this and I guess whilst probably damaging and not good for the longevity of my mental health, it’s all I have to cope and drive me forward into wanting to heal and come back from all of this. Like if I continue to fight, I’ll go back to being the person I used to be? But in reality; that person is gone, dead, he no longer exists anymore. Losing my identity, my self love, worth and confidence distorts my reality of not only myself but the world around me, and in a chronic state - that’s so damaging. The truth is; I don’t know who I am anymore, and life doesn’t care about that, it doesn’t care that I’m trying to find my way back to who I used to be, because guess what, the world continues spinning, I continue getting older and in inch closer away from my youth every single day. There’s no refunds, there’s no rematch. That scares me. There’s uneasiness with in that.

I’m getting older and there’s no stopping that and whilst I should be slowly acclimatising to my aging like normal people do, I’m very much still fighting for my old self before my protracted withdrawal and drug use. The distorted perception of myself doesn’t go away, it just continues getting worse as I age… The unhealthy obsessions to fight back in the only way I know, to look at private cosmetic surgeries, invasive and expensive, that carry risks just to continue to damper deep, heavily rooted insecurities that lie within me. Good on me for acknowledging that (gold star for me) but changing the root issues within is easier said than done.

I also really hope I find my way eventually, I continue holding onto a degrading form of hope that I’ll recover but I’m honest in saying that it’s dwindling as time goes on. I’m proud of myself for the fight I’ve put up, considering there’s a lot of beautiful people who unfortunately aren’t here with us anymore who did lose their fight. I look at my kids and continue reminding myself that my suffering is insurmountable to the love I have for them, the fight must go on…

Edited July 6Jul 6 by Jack

On 7/6/2026 at 3:46 PM, Jack said:

I’m proud of myself for the fight I’ve put up, considering there’s a lot of beautiful people who unfortunately aren’t here with us anymore who did lose their fight. I look at my kids and continue reminding myself that my suffering is insurmountable to the love I have for them, the fight must go on…

You ought to be proud! I'm proud of you!

I think what might be making you feel "worse" is it seems you are a DEEP, PHILOSOPHICAL, thinker! A beautiful quality that makes you an awesome mentor around here. I dont' want to put words in your mouth, so I'll speak for myself now...

Aging IS hard. And because I am from a dysfunctional family who never learned or taught self-discovery, or self-knowledge, or using one's talents to the utmost and protecting weaknesses, I had to figure it all out on my own. And it's been HELL.

I am a futuristic, deep, strategic, introverted, alternative/creative thinker. I never fit in with the mainstream and I think think think about everything. (I tease my husband, "extroverts make the world go around, but introverts make it interesting!)

My point is, for a long time, I confused my depth and introspection with character defects/unwanted behaviors because most of the world is like "hey, what's wrong with you? Let's party!!! Stop thinking about everything!"

But I just HAD TO MAKE MEANING out my experiences--especially the painful ones.

Back to you...I see these traits in you...what 30 year old thinks to the depths that you have about AGING??? LOL. You're THIRTY...NOT retired! LOLOL. I'm not making fun of you, but at 63, I wish the people I knew that are MY AGE took life as seriously as you. Aristotle said it, the unexamined life is not worth living.

So, dear Jack, although you are in pain and I'm not minimizing that, I want you to take some pressure off yourself to be anything other than what you are and are becoming. Transitions are the hardest, I'll admit. It seems you aren't quite sure who you are without the young/superhero/hunk identity. But you are so on the right track to being a fully-rounded, whole-hearted man!! And I'm excited for you and your partner as you grow into someone more and more awesome!!!

and I'm happy for your kids to have such a deep dad!

3 hours ago, mars said:

Back to you...I see these traits in you...what 30 year old thinks to the depths that you have about AGING??? LOL. You're THIRTY...NOT retired! LOLOL. I'm not making fun of you, but at 63, I wish the people I knew that are MY AGE took life as seriously as you.

My parents are in their 60s.

Their vitality, health, activity levels, capacity to exercise and so on are all far, far greater than mine in my 30s. All due to withdrawal.

For a very long time, I could barely manage a short walk some days and not at all on many others.

This is what @Jack is experiencing- a total destruction of health and wellbeing due to the fallout caused by these drugs.

It's not deep, philosophical thinking. It's a natural reaction to having absolutely terrible health.

14 hours ago, Luke said:

My parents are in their 60s.

Their vitality, health, activity levels, capacity to exercise and so on are all far, far greater than mine in my 30s. All due to withdrawal.

For a very long time, I could barely manage a short walk some days and not at all on many others.

This is what @Jack is experiencing- a total destruction of health and wellbeing due to the fallout caused by these drugs.

It's not deep, philosophical thinking. It's a natural reaction to having absolutely terrible health.

or, Luke, it's both? No contest here. I see the real suffering here. I've been going through it myself for many, many years. I'm not minimizing the pain. I'm offering a perspective that might help. I'll let Jack be the judge, after all. :)

14 hours ago, mars said:

or, Luke, it's both? No contest here. I see the real suffering here. I've been going through it myself for many, many years. I'm not minimizing the pain. I'm offering a perspective that might help. I'll let Jack be the judge, after all. :)

Most of it seems to hinge around "aging is hard".

I'm young. Jack is young. Teeth and gums massively deteriorating, as he is experiencing, is not a part of the natural aging process aged 30. That is just one of the significant deteriorations in physical health he is experiencing.

14 hours ago, mars said:

I'm not minimizing the pain. I'm offering a perspective that might help.

The below doesn't look like not minimising the pain and offering perspective:

On 7/9/2026 at 2:05 AM, mars said:

Back to you...I see these traits in you...what 30 year old thinks to the depths that you have about AGING??? LOL. You're THIRTY...NOT retired! LOLOL.

He is struggling with the fact that he is PREMATURELY experiencing a large deterioration in physical condition that would be expected in your 80s and not aged 30. The answer to your question is that a 30 year old experiencing this might very well think about prematurely aging and having incredibly poor health.

You're laughing at the idea he feels old and saying he's not retired when he's experiencing severe health issues that would be typical of someone retired for decades, and is unable to work at 30 as a result of them.

Have some empathy, please. If you're in doubt, mocking someone's experience and adding LOLOL to the end of it is probably not empathising.

Hi Jack,

I’m sorry to hear you have been going through such a rough time! It’s so very unfair, especially as you have been through this for such a long time now. I hope things are getting better for you? How are you doing now?

All the best, G

On 9/7/2026 at 5:24 PM, SparklingG said:

Hi Jack,

I’m sorry to hear you have been going through such a rough time! It’s so very unfair, especially as you have been through this for such a long time now. I hope things are getting better for you? How are you doing now?

All the best, G

Hi, thanks for your message.

I’m doing okay, not great, but certainly better than where I used to be at so I just continue to remind myself that. I’m still symptomatic everyday to a certain degree but it’s nothing like it used to be 2 years ago even. Most of my issues on a daily basis nowadays revolves around my PSSD, GI problems, histamine intolerance, food sensitivities, I still get fibromyalgia-like pains, and every now and again I’ll get a small flare up of nerve pain, akathisia and a couple other issues.

Out of all those the main one I wish I didn’t have right now was the PSSD, even though I’d class myself on the milder side, it’s still completely derailed my sex life, I feel chemically castrated.

@Jack I'm glad to hear you're at least somewhat ok.

I think at two and a bit years out there is a lot of precedent for continuing to slowly improve and then recover. I very much hope that that is in your future.

13 hours ago, Luke said:

@Jack I'm glad to hear you're at least somewhat ok.

I think at two and a bit years out there is a lot of precedent for continuing to slowly improve and then recover. I very much hope that that is in your future.

Ditto @Jack hopefully things continue to improve for you mate. I suspect they will.

So nice to hear from you @Jack . You'll get your groove back, dude. Not that long ago, you were reporting tiger-like performance. Waves feel like they will last FOREVER because suffering SUCKS!