Hi all,

I have been in protracted withdrawal from Lexapro 20mg cold turkey that happened 13 months ago. It happened because doctor told me to come off too fast and now I'm stuck in this situation.

I have OCD looping thoughts which was my remaining disorder and I think it might be a relapse more that withdrawal as it seems like my old OCD symptoms. I have other health issues like skins infections and hearing issues that come from withdrawal but the OCD is the worst and makes living unbearable.

Is an reinstatement too late for me at 13 months and should I just wait for it to get better on its own or at least try reinstatement and see how it goes?

Any advice would be great. Thanks

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawl syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

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I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

 

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

Reinstatement can be risky this far out, if you do decide to do it, starting on a very low dose and seeing how you tolerate it would be best:

Reinstating an Antidepressant  - Tapering - The Antidepressant Harm and Recovery Forum

It is difficult for someone else to know how intolerable your current symptoms are, and balance this against the risk of reinstatement.

I wouldn't discount withdrawal as being something that makes OCD and particularly looping thoughts worse. This is something I have suffered with since withdrawal and I did not have it to that extent at all pre-drug.

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

Thank you for your reply.

Yeah I'm so confused. My psychiatrists and GP all are saying it's the return of your original issue after coming off meds and getting back on is the issue but then I discovered SA and this new forum today which says otherwise. I'm just trying to work out what to do. I don't want to spend years being disabled and not be able to do anything. At the end of the day, we all need money to live and if you can't function then what's the point of life.

Well, I think you sought out these forums because you know that not everything that is happening to you can be explained by your "original issue" given that you have a range of new symptoms you believe are withdrawal-related.

Why did you come off of lexapro, and/or, why did your doctor advise you to?

I had ocd before meds but withdrawal made it much worse, then it got better and I also did erp therapy. this is most likely withdrawal making it 1000x worse. if you want to reinstate go super low. i do remember someone on surviivngantidepressants reinstsating to help with ocd and it worked for them but you never know how long ou can stay on that new dose for. I think thier username was starchild. i'm sorry whatever decision you made if you choose to reinstate go super low like 0.5mg

Welcome to the forum @ExLexaBro I know it can be hard for some to understand what is WD and what is there normal mind. We experience WD symptoms through the lens of our own mind and experiences so they can feel very real. I think most of us can empathise around looping thoughts in this. I certainly can!

Being a human, and dealing with emotions in WD

13 hours ago, Luke said:

Well, I think you sought out these forums because you know that not everything that is happening to you can be explained by your "original issue" given that you have a range of new symptoms you believe are withdrawal-related.

Why did you come off of lexapro, and/or, why did your doctor advise you to?

I told my doctor that I didn't like the weight gain and feeling tired all the time so he said you can come off in 2 weeks and after losing weight, get back on if you want. He also suggested stuff like exercise and mindfulness but that didn't help during acute phase.

After the first month off and getting the acute symptoms like brain zaps and mental fog, I felt great for 3 months and lost weight but got hit with protracted withdrawal at the 4 month mark. I didn't know what was happening and did research because I thought I was going crazy. When looked online, people said you can't get back on or else you could kindle. This now where I am now at 13 months with still no meds and my main mental disorder returning at full force but can't get back on meds without doing it slowly I guess.

4 hours ago, wheretogonow said:

I had ocd before meds but withdrawal made it much worse, then it got better and I also did erp therapy. this is most likely withdrawal making it 1000x worse. if you want to reinstate go super low. i do remember someone on surviivngantidepressants reinstsating to help with ocd and it worked for them but you never know how long ou can stay on that new dose for. I think thier username was starchild. i'm sorry whatever decision you made if you choose to reinstate go super low like 0.5mg

When did your OCD get manageable? I am also doing ERP therapy but it is much harder during withdrawal and no meds as backup.

I would look at my thread if you want to see someone who reinstated after being cold turkey for 15 months.

TL;DR not worth it. Stay the course and you'll recover.

On 6/11/2026 at 10:45 AM, ExLexaBro said:

I told my doctor that I didn't like the weight gain and feeling tired all the time so he said you can come off in 2 weeks and after losing weight, get back on if you want. He also suggested stuff like exercise and mindfulness but that didn't help during acute phase.

After the first month off and getting the acute symptoms like brain zaps and mental fog, I felt great for 3 months and lost weight but got hit with protracted withdrawal at the 4 month mark. I didn't know what was happening and did research because I thought I was going crazy. When looked online, people said you can't get back on or else you could kindle. This now where I am now at 13 months with still no meds and my main mental disorder returning at full force but can't get back on meds without doing it slowly I guess.

Terrible, dangerous advice from doctors is common to almost all of us, unfortunately.

"doing it slowly" shouldn't be seen as a negative thing, it's just that the dose that helps you without being too much may be far lower than you'd think it might be, given that your body has spent 13 months trying to adapt to functioning without it.

All we're saying is that the experiences of others who have reinstated suggest that starting low and slow is the best way to find the most tolerable dose that brings some improvements/relief whilst keeping the risk of significant adverse effects as low as possible.

Whether you go down that path, or whether you stay the course is a decision you must make for yourself. Personally, unless things are absolutely, utterly intolerable I lean towards staying drug free given that most people do improve in time. It can be a lot of time though. If you cannot go on this way, then maybe it might be time to consider low dose reinstatement. It's not without risk, but this is what you are balancing against whether your current situation is tenable or not.

18/6/26 - I had another psychologist appointment who specialises in OCD. He said my OCD is one of the worst he has seen and said it is very hard to deal with. He also recommended meds again as without, he can't seem to break my OCD theme and struggles to help me.

Makes me sad and depressed what my life has become and I don't know how much more I can take.

37 minutes ago, ExLexaBro said:

18/6/26 - I had another psychologist appointment who specialises in OCD. He said my OCD is one of the worst he has seen and said it is very hard to deal with. He also recommended meds again as without, he can't seem to break my OCD theme and struggles to help me.

Makes me sad and depressed what my life has become and I don't know how much more I can take.

You would be wise to not continue to listen to him. They have no idea about the dangers of drugs harms or how to recognise them. The only thing they see is relapse. They are only trained to see this. And the only way they know how to treat this apparent relapse is with drugs.

More drugs makes people worse and the whole thing repeats itself over and over getting progressively worse.

26/6/26 - Another week has gone by and my obsessive OCD thoughts are still pretty bad. I had one good day on the 19/6/26 which was maybe a window but not sure.

My remaining issues are contamination OCD thoughts and compulsions, skin infections, constipation, head pressure, ringing in the ears, depression, constant SI and anxiety.

People have asked me to see if my symptoms have improved and I assume that I am no longer in the acute phase as during the early periods, it was way worse and I thought that I wouldn't make it at all.

I am now 13 and a half months and really hope that healing comes sooner rather than later. Anymore than a year of this is something I probably won't survive at this point.

Thank you for all the support from everyone on this site. Really has been helpful.

Hey @ExLexaBro — I think it’s a great sign that you had a good day. That means you’re capable of having more! I hope they come soon.

I just wanted to share a bit about myself because even though our conditions are different I think our stories are similar in some ways. I’ve had bad anxiety for much of my life. At its worst, it causes insomnia, and then I get anxious about the insomnia and everything spirals until I’m barely functional. That’s why I got on meds in the first place, and even though they weren’t perfect I thought they helped a lot.

Last year after anxiety flare up I switched meds really fast and went into withdrawal, although I didn’t recognize it at the time. My main withdrawal symptom was constant anxiety, so I just thought I was getting worse and my new med “wasn’t working”. That led me to almost a year of switching through different meds trying to find the “right one” and meanwhile getting worse the whole time — until I finally figured out that going on and off the drugs was the actual problem.

Anyways, I wanted to share that because, like you, I have withdrawal symptoms that mimic the issues I had pre-drug and I do get stressed about how I will function without meds. But I now also recognize that WD has made everything much worse and I absolutely do not want to go through this again. On my better days, I’m very hopeful that I can eventually figure out how to live a happy life drug-free.

I think that you can, too. The fact that you’ve seen improvement from the acute stage is a great sign, and I hope you’ll see more soon.

23 hours ago, SarahMc said:

Hey @ExLexaBro — I think it’s a great sign that you had a good day. That means you’re capable of having more! I hope they come soon.

I just wanted to share a bit about myself because even though our conditions are different I think our stories are similar in some ways. I’ve had bad anxiety for much of my life. At its worst, it causes insomnia, and then I get anxious about the insomnia and everything spirals until I’m barely functional. That’s why I got on meds in the first place, and even though they weren’t perfect I thought they helped a lot.

Last year after anxiety flare up I switched meds really fast and went into withdrawal, although I didn’t recognize it at the time. My main withdrawal symptom was constant anxiety, so I just thought I was getting worse and my new med “wasn’t working”. That led me to almost a year of switching through different meds trying to find the “right one” and meanwhile getting worse the whole time — until I finally figured out that going on and off the drugs was the actual problem.

Anyways, I wanted to share that because, like you, I have withdrawal symptoms that mimic the issues I had pre-drug and I do get stressed about how I will function without meds. But I now also recognize that WD has made everything much worse and I absolutely do not want to go through this again. On my better days, I’m very hopeful that I can eventually figure out how to live a happy life drug-free.

I think that you can, too. The fact that you’ve seen improvement from the acute stage is a great sign, and I hope you’ll see more soon.

Thanks @SarahMc . Yes you are more than welcome to follow along on my recovery. I hope that you recovery too and I pray that we both can live without medication but I feel like I'll eventually get back on medication at some point as I can't do this for years. I'll probably try a reinstatement if Incan bear the pain.

Hope your taper goes well too.

1 hour ago, ExLexaBro said:

Thanks @SarahMc . Yes you are more than welcome to follow along on my recovery. I hope that you recovery too and I pray that we both can live without medication but I feel like I'll eventually get back on medication at some point as I can't do this for years. I'll probably try a reinstatement if Incan bear the pain.

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. Of course it’s your body and your choice to reinstate or not. I would just say that (1) there’s not guarantee that the drugs will “work” like they used to; and (2) you can recover from what you’re going through right now without meds. Even if it takes years to reach a full recovery, it’s likely that you’ll see progress along the way. Things won’t be as difficult as they are now for your entire recovery period.

Hope today is easier for you.

On 6/27/2026 at 11:05 AM, ExLexaBro said:

Thanks @SarahMc . Yes you are more than welcome to follow along on my recovery. I hope that you recovery too and I pray that we both can live without medication but I feel like I'll eventually get back on medication at some point as I can't do this for years. I'll probably try a reinstatement if Incan bear the pain.

Hope your taper goes well too.

You're starting to have good days.

A "good" reinstatement typically looks like starting to have good days but is often not linear and not a quick fix.

You're making progress, you just need to give your body more time until the good days become better and/or more frequent.

5/7/26 - It's been another 9 days so now an update to my journal again. Today marks exactly 14 months since I came off Lexapro CT. It has been a terrible year so far and I really hope for better time ahead. I don't even know what waves and windows are but I had one good day so far so I guess that's a window. I don't even know.

Nothing has changed from last week. I moved into a new apartment 2 and a half weeks ago as I wanted to give my brother a break from the withdrawal hell I went through during the acute phase. He tried to take care of me during that time and it was very hard on him. I think having my own space and his own space will help everyone involved. Caregivers also need help too.

Moving was stressful but my OCD hasn't gotten super worse so I take that as a win.

My symptoms are exactly the same as last week so no change there. Still hard and suffering. The worst is still the skin infections, OCD looping thoughts and compulsions and constipation.

They make my quality of life terrible and makes my SI even worse. Somedays I probably want to do it but I just call my brother and he talks me out of any attempts most of the time.

I don't really have any further updates apart from that. 14 months gone and wasted. I haven't worked and made no progress in life at the age of 33. No job, no career and completely disabled living off disability payment which isn't much but still grateful for some income to keep me alive.

Well here is to another month gone. If I'm still here, I'll update you next week. Thank you for getting this far.

2 hours ago, ExLexaBro said:

5/7/26 - It's been another 9 days so now an update to my journal again. Today marks exactly 14 months since I came off Lexapro CT. It has been a terrible year so far and I really hope for better time ahead. I don't even know what waves and windows are but I had one good day so far so I guess that's a window. I don't even know.

Nothing has changed from last week. I moved into a new apartment 2 and a half weeks ago as I wanted to give my brother a break from the withdrawal hell I went through during the acute phase. He tried to take care of me during that time and it was very hard on him. I think having my own space and his own space will help everyone involved. Caregivers also need help too.

Moving was stressful but my OCD hasn't gotten super worse so I take that as a win.

My symptoms are exactly the same as last week so no change there. Still hard and suffering. The worst is still the skin infections, OCD looping thoughts and compulsions and constipation.

They make my quality of life terrible and makes my SI even worse. Somedays I probably want to do it but I just call my brother and he talks me out of any attempts most of the time.

I don't really have any further updates apart from that. 14 months gone and wasted. I haven't worked and made no progress in life at the age of 33. No job, no career and completely disabled living off disability payment which isn't much but still grateful for some income to keep me alive.

Well here is to another month gone. If I'm still here, I'll update you next week. Thank you for getting this far.

ExLexaBro, just reading through your thread, congratulations on being 14 months med free, just remind yourself that's 14 months behind you and you are , even it it doesn't seem like it it tramendious healing your brain and CNS has healed. Be kind to yourself because your body is still making many small steps that are needed in the healing process. It definitely disheartening to me when I hear about Doctors just telling patients to just stop there meds, because they have no clue how this affects out CNC, and brains. The torment that we endure is not fair and you or any of us should ever have to go through. I like you had stopped Citalopram, but mine was only 1mg when I stopped and yes it messed me up for quite a while. I didn't realize it until it was to late that it was to fast a taper, but there is nothing I can do now but let my system settle. I would get brief windows of maybe 10 or 20 minutes in the beginning where I would say Hey Bernadette, there you are, nice of you to drop in" Then just like that it was gone this some sick joke, But those were the moments I held on to , to help make it though. Just believe in the healing process, don't let your thoughts get the best of you , cause those are just the med thoughts not your own. If you do get them ,and in my experience over time I had to let them be and not fight them, and trust me when I say they will pass. Even at the moment it feels hopeless and scary. I am currently at 20 and a half months out and I didn't see my first real significant window until I reached 16 months, that's when things shifted and I started to see the real patterns of healing. Yes, moving to a new place can be taxing on ones system, sounds like your handling it well. Just know your making great progress and should be so proud of yourself. Sending prayers for a well needed window, you are in my thoughts. You are so strong, . Hugs xxxx Bernadette

Hey @ExLexaBro, congrats on making it another 9 days through WD. Every day that passes, no matter how terrible, is a day closer to recovery. And a single good day is definitely a window - I’ve had windows of a few days and windows of just one day, or even half a day. That’s a sign of recovery, and you will absolutely have more in time.

Getting through a stressful move without aggravating your symptoms is also a big deal. Glad you’re settled into your own place. It’s really nice that your brother is so supportive and that you can talk to him about these things — not everyone has someone like that.

33 is still young, you’ll have plenty of time to figure out what’s important to you and to find peace and contentment once you’ve recovered 💜.

Hey, I'm sorry about everything that happened to you.

I was wondering, have you tried accepting the symptoms? if it makes it better.

It's okay to have symptoms, but instead of trying to control them, just accept them, that they are gonna be there for some time and that's okay, let them have their space while knowing deep down knowing they are temporary and 'not real'.

Also I always like to recommend practicing meditations cause it can help with being mindful and accepting symptoms.

18 hours ago, ExLexaBro said:

5/7/26 - It's been another 9 days so now an update to my journal again. Today marks exactly 14 months since I came off Lexapro CT. It has been a terrible year so far and I really hope for better time ahead.

Sorry to read, I feel you, you can start the year out with such optimism and the healing process can feel so slow you burn through months like days it feels to me sometimes! July already!

18 hours ago, ExLexaBro said:

I don't even know what waves and windows are but I had one good day so far so I guess that's a window. I don't even know.

They look different for everyone. For most its not a case zero symptoms windows more an eb and flow of better and worse symptoms.

18 hours ago, ExLexaBro said:

Nothing has changed from last week. I moved into a new apartment 2 and a half weeks ago as I wanted to give my brother a break from the withdrawal hell I went through during the acute phase. He tried to take care of me during that time and it was very hard on him. I think having my own space and his own space will help everyone involved. Caregivers also need help too.

I think getting your own space is nice, helps make sure you can keep the boundaries and peace you need to heal and as you say protect those who support you and give them theirs too.

18 hours ago, ExLexaBro said:

Moving was stressful but my OCD hasn't gotten super worse so I take that as a win.

I've noticed this, the mental cost is high when taking on stress, so return has to be there. Im sure it will be. Sounds like you coped ok.

18 hours ago, ExLexaBro said:

My symptoms are exactly the same as last week so no change there. Still hard and suffering. The worst is still the skin infections, OCD looping thoughts and compulsions and constipation.

A week is nothing in grand scheme of things. You kinda have to pan out over a period of months most the time to see the general trend.

18 hours ago, ExLexaBro said:

They make my quality of life terrible and makes my SI even worse. Somedays I probably want to do it but I just call my brother and he talks me out of any attempts most of the time.

It is so common in WD to get SI, you are doing the right thing, using your support circle to keep you safe. Don't listen to the SI, it is a liar, this will all get better with time.

18 hours ago, ExLexaBro said:

Well here is to another month gone. If I'm still here, I'll update you next week. Thank you for getting this far.

You are still so young and much to live for. Hang in there, many have trod this path before you and they all say the same thing, I didn't think I would make it but I am so glad I did.

12/7/26 - I have survived another 8 days and it has still been pretty bad. I almost didn't want to do a diary entry but this helps to see when I have improved during this period. It's like my journal.

All my symptoms remain the same. OCD has been extra bad and I have been cleaning and washing my hands alot due to my contamination OCD. My hands are dry and I use a lot of hand sanitizer and cleaning wipes which is stressful and a waste of time too.

My brother has gone on a 1 month holiday with his girlfriend so now I am alone and really worried especially with my constant SI. He said I could call him but I don't want to bother him all the time with this type of stuff. I have a support worker who is nice but doesn't really understand withdrawal so it's hard to discuss with her.

Well my goal to survive another week was completed. I hope to be back next week if I can survive my constant SI everyday. I don't really reply to messages but I'll try more when I have the energy.

Thanks for reading. See you next week hopefully.

1 hour ago, ExLexaBro said:

All my symptoms remain the same. OCD has been extra bad and I have been cleaning and washing my hands alot due to my contamination OCD. My hands are dry and I use a lot of hand sanitizer and cleaning wipes which is stressful and a waste of time too.

Sorry @ExLexaBro. Many of us on here find it more helpful to look at our progress over periods of months rather than weeks. Certainly if I looked at my progress week by week I’d think I was standing still or sometimes regressing, but when I look back a few months I can see that I’ve improved a bit. I hope the same will be true for you.

1 hour ago, ExLexaBro said:

My brother has gone on a 1 month holiday with his girlfriend so now I am alone and really worried especially with my constant SI. He said I could call him but I don't want to bother him all the time with this type of stuff. I have a support worker who is nice but doesn't really understand withdrawal so it's hard to discuss with her.

It’s hard to talk with mental health professionals who don’t understand WD, I agree. Please do call your brother if you need, I’m sure he’d want you to. Can you afford to speak to a private WD coach, even as a one off? Or try one of the support groups, they’re a bit cheaper. I can point you to some of those resources if you’re interested.

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with SI.

It absolutely plagued me for a long time, but it can and does improve. I hope you can take care of yourself and get through it. At this point in time, at the length of time you've been off, there is so much precedent for improving based on the stories of others.

I hope that it eases for you soon.