Hi all,

 

I got a kick start as far as acceptance is concerned when I undertook ketamine assisted psychotherapy. It unlocked awareness and I was hit in the face with how self abusive I was towards myself.  At the time I'd had about 3 years of daily panic and constant hyper arousal. One day I was able to step back from the panic and just observe how it felt in my body, I was astounded at how it peaked and then ebbed away. I could only do it in the safety of my home at first where I could control the environment and turn of anything I found mildly stimulating.  It sounds simple, but it's definitely not easy.  As I practised further the better at it I got. I can now accept what I'm feeling, name it (still struggle with this), acknowledge it and most times it settles. To me it's analogous to strengthening a muscle. The more I use it the more effective it becomes. It's unthinkable when you're highjacked with fear and panic, it took a leap of faith to even try it. 

Thank you!

5 hours ago, mars said:

Thank you!

Sounds like you’re on a prescribing cascade like me @mars

Thanks @Catbird, 

 

it is the acceptance of fear/panic that is a challenge. It is so disabling physically and psychologically you just want to roll up in a ball like a frightened child. 

 

When I al in, I really struggle with witness thing and being the observer. Actually I find the witness thing hard at the best of times. I do have meditation practises on it, still a challenge. 

10 hours ago, Tracey said:

Thanks @Catbird, 

 

it is the acceptance of fear/panic that is a challenge. It is so disabling physically and psychologically you just want to roll up in a ball like a frightened child. 

 

When I al in, I really struggle with witness thing and being the observer. Actually I find the witness thing hard at the best of times. I do have meditation practises on it, still a challenge. 

I agree @Tracey It's almost impossible when you're in the midst of panic - for me it's feeling like my body's turned against me, a hostage like situation. The impulse is to either adopt the foetal position or struggle and white knuckle the way through, which use a lot of energy. The feelings of extreme fear and helplessness are overwhelming.

One needs to feel ready and a willingness to try acceptance if even briefly to attempt.

On 3/7/2026 at 11:13 AM, Catbird said:

One day I was able to step back from the panic and just observe how it felt in my body, I was astounded at how it peaked and then ebbed away. I could only do it in the safety of my home at first where I could control the environment and turn of anything I found mildly stimulating.  It sounds simple, but it's definitely not easy.  As I practised further the better at it I got. I can now accept what I'm feeling, name it (still struggle with this), acknowledge it and most times it settles. To me it's analogous to strengthening a muscle. The more I use it the more effective it becomes. It's unthinkable when you're highjacked with fear and panic, it took a leap of faith to even try it. 

Great discussion, thanks to all involved.  I am working on what @Catbird describes (see quote above), but it’s hard. Yesterday I “gave allowance “ to the feelings in my legs (it is a tension, as if I want to run but they are practically frozen I have this often in the evening, it feels like chemical anxiety, but only in the legs ) and the unpleasant sensation escalated, but then evolved into twitching muscles, making my legs shake for more than an hour. I think it was good, a release of energy or tension or blocked emotions, but it did not ebb fully off. I was able to sleep, though, and had quite a good night. 
does anyone know this woman? I like her approach: (Sam miller) 

https://youtube.com/@thegreatallowing?si=q6s1epIX68DLC0E0

 

 

 

This is a thread  I will follow and cherish.. Wish I learned all this years ago,, but here we are together!  Thank you!

I did learn a lot from CBT since I had an anxiety disorder myself. Apart from therapy, I also read a few books on the topic. What helped me as well were the podcasts I listened to.

 

In regards to accepting anxiety/panic, I'd like to share a podcast episode from Drew Linsalata and Joshua Fletcher:

 

https://youtu.be/7FyU4dTapOg?is=bfHjsYEogsA03Jdu

 

I highly recommend checking these guys out. They each have their own podcast and they have one that they co-host. Unlike many other anxiety coaches, specialists and gurus on social media, these people have had lived experiences with anxiety disorders AND they became licensed therapists to help others. They don't sell courses for hundreds of dollars and don't claim to "heal your anxiety in 90 days" either.

 

Here are the links to their Youtube channels if anyone is interested:

 

The Anxious Truth - https://youtube.com/@theanxioustruth?si=lpIbfMmWrCJs-7uM

 

The Panic Pod - https://youtube.com/@anxietyjosh?si=BgLBEfS8rB0tlB7X

Edited March 8Mar 8 by Niels91

I struggle with acceptance cause i already knew drugs were bad and quit them at 17.

I had the worst thing in my life, the only coincidence that would lead to me accepting and getting drugged forcefully with so many drugs in 2024-2025 winter.

i still have hard times at times, obviously not as bad, i still remember i remember at the beginning of 2025 i had a period of like 2 months i just paced my house with panic at the situation i got fucked in.

7 hours ago, Nemina said:

Great discussion, thanks to all involved.  I am working on what @Catbird describes (see quote above), but it’s hard. Yesterday I “gave allowance “ to the feelings in my legs (it is a tension, as if I want to run but they are practically frozen I have this often in the evening, it feels like chemical anxiety, but only in the legs ) and the unpleasant sensation escalated, but then evolved into twitching muscles, making my legs shake for more than an hour. I think it was good, a release of energy or tension or blocked emotions, but it did not ebb fully off. I was able to sleep, though, and had quite a good night. 
does anyone know this woman? I like her approach: (Sam miller) 

https://youtube.com/@thegreatallowing?si=q6s1epIX68DLC0E0

 

 

 

Sounds promising. I had a spike of panic last night and the instinct to curl up was strong. However I managed to mentally step back and observe, name the fear and helplessness and be compassionate with myself. Initially I started to catastrophise but knew this would be fruitless. My WD symptoms pattern has changed - I get these really intense experiences few and far between but they drop off quickly if I accept them. I’ve said before I think I’ve built a good baseline and I seem to return there. And yet recently I’ve developed a terrifying sense of unease.

49 minutes ago, Catbird said:

Sounds promising. I had a spike of panic last night and the instinct to curl up was strong. However I managed to mentally step back and observe, name the fear and helplessness and be compassionate with myself. Initially I started to catastrophise but knew this would be fruitless. My WD symptoms pattern has changed - I get these really intense experiences few and far between but they drop off quickly if I accept them. I’ve said before I think I’ve built a good baseline and I seem to return there. And yet recently I’ve developed a terrifying sense of unease.

The ability to separate ourselves and not identify with the symptoms is, if not, the most powerful tool.

Again, a work in progress for me..

Thanks @Catbird and sorry to hear you're in a challenging place lately, may it subside for you and all others in the same place very soon!!

Edited March 8Mar 8 by Fullhealing

5 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

The ability to separate ourselves and not identify with the symptoms is, if not, the most powerful tool.

Again, a work in progress for me..

Thanks @Catbird and sorry to hear you're in a challenging place lately, may it subside for you and all others in the same place very soon!!

@Fullhealing definitely still a work in progress for me too. it's still incredibly uncomfortable though preferable to having all consuming panic.

7 hours ago, Lighty said:

I struggle with acceptance cause i already knew drugs were bad and quit them at 17.

I had the worst thing in my life, the only coincidence that would lead to me accepting and getting drugged forcefully with so many drugs in 2024-2025 winter.

i still have hard times at times, obviously not as bad, i still remember i remember at the beginning of 2025 i had a period of like 2 months i just paced my house with panic at the situation i got fucked in.

Thanks for sharing Lighty. It’s hard to accept when there is anger involved. Forgiveness helps us leave this burden behind. It’s more for us than for the perpetrators. 

It's really hard for me because I'm a 'fixer' - I want do solve everything, do everything, be perfectionistic. I'm better but it is quite difficult. 

1 hour ago, Nathan_C said:

It's really hard for me because I'm a 'fixer' - I want do solve everything, do everything, be perfectionistic. I'm better but it is quite difficult. 

I know that urge @Nathan_C. It's very hard to let go, more so if you have perfectionistic tendencies

2 hours ago, Nathan_C said:

It's really hard for me because I'm a 'fixer' - I want do solve everything, do everything, be perfectionistic. I'm better but it is quite difficult. 

Glad you found this page. It is a real challenge this one I know. I will say I’ve found real peace in my journey to acceptance. It’s such an important skill to work on. It’s a journey not a destination. 

I’ve definitely tried to find some acceptance. I’ve tried on three fronts, accept where my life is now, accept how I got here and of course my symptoms.  During the acute stage I had some incredible rage, with the medical world, because I’d lost my job, because I voluntarily put myself in a hospital thinking they would help, because I’d lost my hobbies, my friends and many other things. It was a level of anger I’d never experienced, I’m normally a pretty mild mannered man, I was very bitter and exasperated with the whole situation. I think that anger possibly provoked and prolonged my symptoms as it stressed my CNS. After maybe 9 months the acute stage was over, I could think a little more rationally and I was calmer, I realised the only way out of this was to go through it.  I then started to finally find some acceptance with my situation and my symptoms which were now more bearable. I realised that was the only way I would find any peace on this journey and considering none of us know how long the journey will be I find that to be incredibly important. I’m not perfect and still have my moments but I’m much better than I used to be, it’s something I’ll need to keep working on. 

Edited March 10Mar 10 by NBJ71

23 minutes ago, NBJ71 said:

I’ve definitely tried to find some acceptance. I’ve tried on three fronts, accept where my life is now, accept how I got here and of course my symptoms.  During the acute stage I had some incredible rage, with the medical world, because I’d lost my job, because I voluntarily put myself in a hospital thinking they would help, because I’d lost my hobbies, my friends and many other things. It was a level of anger I’d never experienced, I’m normally a pretty mild mannered man, I was very bitter and exasperated with the whole situation. I think that anger possibly provoked and prolonged my symptoms as it stressed my CNS. After maybe 9 months the acute stage was over, I could think a little more rationally and I was calmer, I realised the only way out of this was to go through it.  I then started to finally find some acceptance with my situation and my symptoms which were now more bearable. I realised that was the only way I would find any peace on this journey and considering none of us know how long the journey will be I find that to be incredibly important. I’m not perfect and still have my moments but I’m much better than I used to be, it’s something I’ll need to keep working on. 

@Nathan_C from my perspective it appears the anger is justified. It sound like you've released some of it, which is healthy. I have suppressed anger nearly my whole life until recently (or denied what I was feeling was anger). a few months ago I noticed increased irritability which was fairly new for me. I was in a group therapy session last week led by a psychiatrist, and there was a face in the virtual room I didn't recognise. it turned out he was a registrar (psychiatry trainee) I felt a surge of anger and stated verbalising about my current state of feeling trapped by psych meds.  It felt so good. I'm looking forward to more anger being released. I think I'm only just starting to feel some of my emotions return.

Back to you and your situation… I think from what you've described there's also a lot of grief in what you said. You have lost a lot. This is something I think almost all of us on this site share. the loss of who we are - identity, loss of health, loss of relationships, loss of meaning and livelihood, loss of control, loss of stability etc...

I've found it's good to verbalise these things as it helps us process the emotions and feel more grounded. 

Hi @Catbird

 

I completely agree, loss is a huge part of this process and you need to grieve a loss in order to find acceptance with it. A dear friend of mine visited me every single day for 9 months while I was acute, she has an autistic son, works full time and both of her parents were fighting cancer at the time and she still found time for me, I’ll be forever grateful to her.  She would buy me food when I wasn’t eating, take me for a drive in her car to get me out of the house or just sit and listen. During a period of heavy depression I would just cry and tell her I’d lost my old self when I walked into that hospital. It was over, the old Nick was gone. I was definitely grieving. 
 

I found the acute period to be a confusing state of mind. Sadness, anger, grief and resentment were all flowing through me at varying levels. Some were symptoms and some were real and justified but they all served a purpose. My real emotions are starting to return now, or should I say I’m far calmer and more balanced. 

 

It’s good that you felt you could express how you feel about being trapped on psych meds, it’s even better that you felt good for doing it. We have every right to be angered about what we are going through. I think the more frequently you speak openly about it, the better you’ll feel and the further you move down the road of acceptance. 

@NBJ71 Thank you for such a considered response and I'm sorry you've been through such a difficult time, Your friend sounds like a genuine human being. She obviously cares about you deeply.

 

I've never really spoken about my emotions until recently, I think I was alexithymic. I have C-PTSD from childhood trauma (which I also didn't know I had until recently, but it explains a lot) so not great role modelling from my parents, combined with starting ADs about 30 years ago. I'm down to ~1mg  of Escitalopram (my first of five drugs to taper) and I'm starting to be able to identify and verbalise what I'm feeling. So numb, for so many years.

Thank you @Catbird. 
 

Im sorry to hear about your childhood, the good news is that you now know you have C-PTSD, I don’t mean it’s good that you have it, just that it gives you a better understanding. 
At a guess, as your taper journey continues, the emotional numbing the medications may of caused could ease. Maybe this could be a time for you to explore your feelings a little more, just in a curious way to start with?  I understand that could be frightening after all this time but it could also be exciting and possibly enlightening too? 

Edited March 10Mar 10 by NBJ71

3 minutes ago, NBJ71 said:

Thank you @Catbird. 
 

Im sorry to hear about your childhood, the good news is that you now know you have C-PTSD, I don’t mean it’s good that you have it, just that it gives you a better understanding. 
At a guess, as your taper journey continues, the emotional numbing they may of caused could ease. Maybe this could be a time for you to explore your feelings? I understand that could be frightening after all this time but I could also be exciting and possibly enlightening too? 

Already on it thanks @NBJ71. I have weekly dynamic psychoanalysis

That’s great to hear @Catbird. I really hope it helps you, it sounds like it is. I hope your tapers continue to go as smoothly as possible. 

On 3/6/2026 at 8:28 PM, Chippy said:

Also like this one a lot

 

Stop Trying to Heal | Joe Cusamano

I love this YouTube video @Chippy. It certainly offers different perspectives. I particularly like losing the word “trying”. For me it implies a struggle or pushing through rather than letting go. Even if you can just practise accepting where you’re at for a minute or do; if you’re not quite there yet that’s okay. Next time practise again. There’s no expectations. 

12 minutes ago, Catbird said:

I love this YouTube video @Chippy. It certainly offers different perspectives. I particularly like losing the word “trying”. For me it implies a struggle or pushing through rather than letting go. Even if you can just practise accepting where you’re at for a minute or do; if you’re not quite there yet that’s okay. Next time practise again. There’s no expectations. 

100% agree.