10 minutes ago, overthepill said:

@mstimc60 did you ever deal with intense feelings of hopelessness and despair? This feels so overwhelming and consuming, I thought it was bad enough I was dealing with the physical symptoms, but now I have these emotions that don't even feel like they are mine they are just so strong!

Yes. I think most of us have had those feelings. Try to use distraction when the thoughts come instead of ruminating on them and letting them make you even more agitated. They may come, but the thoughts are only as strong as you allow them to be.

Today was day 38 off, I'm having some internal buzzing and restlessness and like this feeling of unease and agitation in a way. @Luke any tips on dealing with this feeling it's really a pain in the ass and driving me up the wall.

@overthepill unfortunately, there are no ways to just make symptoms go away.

Your symptoms have been coming and going. All you can do is take care of yourself as best you can until it is gone again. Restlessness and agitation are difficult, as they can make distraction harder.

I had plenty of times when all I could really do was doomscroll on my phone until it wasn't as bad. A healthy way to live? Not really, but it made the time pass. All you can do is pass the time however you can. If you're able to do something better with it (even if it's unpleasant), that's good.

Today is day 39 off the med and I just feel like I keep declining. Why am I on this steady decline physically mentally emotionally I just feel like each day is harder than the last, is this normal for this phase? I just feel so hopeless right now 😞

@overthepill I'm so very sorry you have to endure this acute stage of the healing process, but as all of us that have come before have had to endure this unpleasantness. If your able my friend walk about the house, do word finds read if your able to absolutely anything that keeps you distracted. Take a shower if it helps to comfort you or distract you. Going outside if only for a brief moment to get some fresh air. As I've spoke to you early on that the first 3 months can be the most difficult. There will be moments when you have a brief window, and how ever so sudel they may be hang on to them. Trust me when I say this does get better in time, patience and distraction of any kind is helpful. You are stronger than you realize. Trust that the Lord our God is by your side helping and guiding you through the most difficult times. Stay strong my friend xxx Bernadette

5 minutes ago, Bernadette said:

@overthepill I'm so very sorry you have to endure this acute stage of the healing process, but as all of us that have come before have had to endure this unpleasantness. If your able my friend walk about the house, do word finds read if your able to absolutely anything that keeps you distracted. Take a shower if it helps to comfort you or distract you. Going outside if only for a brief moment to get some fresh air. As I've spoke to you early on that the first 3 months can be the most difficult. There will be moments when you have a brief window, and how ever so sudel they may be hang on to them. Trust me when I say this does get better in time, patience and distraction of any kind is helpful. You are stronger than you realize. Trust that the Lord our God is by your side helping and guiding you through the most difficult times. Stay strong my friend xxx Bernadette

Thank you for your kind words Bernadette, I'm just really struggling, feeling like each day is harder than the last when you are already completely defeated is hard. At first it was just physical symptoms but lately the emotional and mental symptoms have been popping up too which makes it so much more difficult, this strong sense of depression and hopelessness and this feeling that my life is over and I will just continue to decline overwhelms me daily 😞

1 minute ago, overthepill said:

Thank you for your kind words Bernadette, I'm just really struggling, feeling like each day is harder than the last when you are already completely defeated is hard. At first it was just physical symptoms but lately the emotional and mental symptoms have been popping up too which makes it so much more difficult, this strong sense of depression and hopelessness and this feeling that my life is over and I will just continue to decline overwhelms me daily 😞

Physical symptoms can cause emotional symptoms and vice verse. And that can be very depressing. But you’re still early in WD. The symptoms will start to be less severe, but it will take time, and using coping skills can make it easier to deal with them.

I used to take a lot of baths. I think it helped the head symptoms a bit and at least it distracted me.

@overthepill sending some love, symptoms waxing and waning is very common especially early on in WD. Feels overwhelming I know, like you have no control and the fear of what comes next is always sitting there, as time passes you will settle down, things will become easier.

@overthepill i have exactly the same symptoms that you describe. It’s really hard I know . And when a day is so bad I also stay in the bed and distract myself with my phone . I am not able to leave the house. Some days I’m better and go for a walk and do some activities. It’s is what it is and is the hardest thing a have aver experience. So I hear you . Stay save and keep going the way you do. ❤️

Day 40, something seems to have shifted today. I felt more mentally present and was able to hold long conversations with my wife and ask my daughter about her day at school and actually listen and care about it. My stomach is starting to give me hunger cues again and my bathroom activities are more regular. I felt a little more upbeat and was able to get up and make myself something to eat and fix my beard and do my skincare routine. I hope this is the start of an improving trend. I'm not holding my breath, but even a glimpse of something that seems like improvement is welcomed.

Edited Friday at 05:00 AM5 days by overthepill

12 hours ago, Saar8srl said:

@overthepill i have exactly the same symptoms that you describe. It’s really hard I know . And when a day is so bad I also stay in the bed and distract myself with my phone . I am not able to leave the house. Some days I’m better and go for a walk and do some activities. It’s is what it is and is the hardest thing a have aver experience. So I hear you . Stay save and keep going the way you do. ❤️

Thank you for the kind words sending healing and positive vibes your way! 🫰

@overthepill having any kind of improvement when time off is counted in days is a good thing.

Improvement is often very non-linear. I see you are hoping that this will be part of an improvement trend- it may be, but these are often beset with setbacks. People tend to get better by going up and down, and over time the ups add up, and get bigger/better and the downs get smaller/milder.

I only say this because it can be very difficult to feel as though you're getting worse (as you have experienced), and it is important to not let this become too devastating and take a longer term view of a recovery trajectory rather than getting too bogged down in improving or not improving on a day to day basis. If you do, it becomes very psychologically difficult.

8 hours ago, overthepill said:

Day 40, something seems to have shifted today. I felt more mentally present and was able to hold long conversations with my wife and ask my daughter about her day at school and actually listen and care about it. My stomach is starting to give me hunger cues again and my bathroom activities are more regular. I felt a little more upbeat and was able to get up and make myself something to eat and fix my beard and do my skincare routine. I hope this is the start of an improving trend. I'm not holding my breath, but even a glimpse of something that seems like improvement is welcomed.

I am so relieved to see you are getting a window and is wonderful to hear you enjoy conversation with your wife and talking with your daughter on how school went, I find writing the good days down gave me inspiration and held onto the feel good moments. Is is wonderful when our CNS gives us a break. Remind yourself how good this feeling is and hang on to it, for this is what the future hold, more calm and gentle peace. You are so strong @overthepill and you will heal as we all do. Hope your day is filled with light and pure joy. Hugs for now xxx Bernadette

On 8/28/2026 at 9:41 AM, Bernadette said:

I am so relieved to see you are getting a window and is wonderful to hear you enjoy conversation with your wife and talking with your daughter on how school went, I find writing the good days down gave me inspiration and held onto the feel good moments. Is is wonderful when our CNS gives us a break. Remind yourself how good this feeling is and hang on to it, for this is what the future hold, more calm and gentle peace. You are so strong @overthepill and you will heal as we all do. Hope your day is filled with light and pure joy. Hugs for now xxx Bernadette

So the past couple of days have been weird, my daughter has been sick and I'm pretty sure she got me sick but I haven't felt like clear signs of being sick but I have been feeling extra fatigued and have been sleeping like 12 hours plus. My appetite has improved and I haven't been having night sweats. These damn head symptoms are still kicking my ass though. It's been a mixed bag, some improvements but some things still not budging. I hope my head symptoms start improving soon because they are my most intrusive symptoms that make every day miserable.

1 hour ago, overthepill said:

So the past couple of days have been weird, my daughter has been sick and I'm pretty sure she got me sick but I haven't felt like clear signs of being sick but I have been feeling extra fatigued and have been sleeping like 12 hours plus. My appetite has improved and I haven't been having night sweats. These damn head symptoms are still kicking my ass though. It's been a mixed bag, some improvements but some things still not budging. I hope my head symptoms start improving soon because they are my most intrusive symptoms that make every day miserable.

I feel you @overthepill riding out such a volatile wave of symptoms is profoundly exhausting, especially when those severe head symptoms act up, even so, it is such a hopeful and encouraging sign to hear that some symptoms are already turning a corner and improving, to carry that heavy load while tending to a sick child and very likely catching whatever she had along the way, is a true test of endurance.

Please remember that your body is working tirelessly behind the scenes right now, fighting on multiple fronts to recalibrate and heal itself, wrap yourself in grace, patience, and gentleness as much as possible.

Sending my warmest wishes for a smooth healing both you and daughter, brighter days are just ahead.

4 hours ago, overthepill said:

So the past couple of days have been weird, my daughter has been sick and I'm pretty sure she got me sick but I haven't felt like clear signs of being sick but I have been feeling extra fatigued and have been sleeping like 12 hours plus. My appetite has improved and I haven't been having night sweats. These damn head symptoms are still kicking my ass though. It's been a mixed bag, some improvements but some things still not budging. I hope my head symptoms start improving soon because they are my most intrusive symptoms that make every day miserable.

Getting sick can 100% make things worse for you so I wouldn't be surprised if you have noticed this. sounds like things are improving in places, I know how confusing it can be, it's hard to see the progress with the constantly fluctuating symptoms, but they are actually a good sign in of themselves. You're doing great, hang in there, time if our friend.

Today was a really rough day I kinda had a break down and told my wife that I wanted to die and she freaked out and almost had me committed. I explained to her that I very much want to live but feeling like you are in survival mode day in and day out without a moment of enjoyment in anything or being able to focus on anything but your symptoms and mourning the life you had is a hard place to be. I really hope things get easier because not being able to think about anything other than my symptoms all day along with enduring them and being mostly in bed is really getting to me.

2 hours ago, overthepill said:

Today was a really rough day I kinda had a break down and told my wife that I wanted to die and she freaked out and almost had me committed.

I am sorry to read, we have all had moments like this. I have said some very scary things in the past to my wife out of suffering.

2 hours ago, overthepill said:

I explained to her that I very much want to live but feeling like you are in survival mode day in and day out without a moment of enjoyment in anything or being able to focus on anything but your symptoms and mourning the life you had is a hard place to be. I

You did good explaining this to her, it is important you can honest and vulnerable with her, just must understand though that acting out of fear here could be the worse things she does. I sure she realises this now. Non of us want to not be here, SI is a common WD symptom, and it is also normal to say these things when the suffering is so severe, in reality we all want to live and are much stronger than even we realise.

2 hours ago, overthepill said:

I really hope things get easier because not being able to think about anything other than my symptoms all day along with enduring them and being mostly in bed is really getting to me.

I also hope this settles more for you soon. It is truly awful I know, learning to float and accept, filling your day with routine and distraction, just passing the time whilst the healing takes place, it's your only job. Your doing it well mate. Chippy

8 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I am sorry to read, we have all had moments like this. I have said some very scary things in the past to my wife out of suffering.

You did good explaining this to her, it is important you can honest and vulnerable with her, just must understand though that acting out of fear here could be the worse things she does. I sure she realises this now. Non of us want to not be here, SI is a common WD symptom, and it is also normal to say these things when the suffering is so severe, in reality we all want to live and are much stronger than even we realise.

I also hope this settles more for you soon. It is truly awful I know, learning to float and accept, filling your day with routine and distraction, just passing the time whilst the healing takes place, it's your only job. Your doing it well mate. Chippy

Thank you for the words of encouragement Chippy, it's just hard to be a month and a half into this and feel like I'm just getting worse, I had like a small glimpse of feeling a bit more connected and present and it's like the next days I've been punished for it.

18 minutes ago, overthepill said:

it's just hard to be a month and a half into this and feel like I'm just getting worse, I had like a small glimpse of feeling a bit more connected and present and it's like the next days I've been punished for it.

Unfortunately 6 weeks isn't that long in WD, the glimpses are a great sign, there is no punishment here, just all part of the process, sadly. You are doing better than you know.

23 minutes ago, Chippy said:

Unfortunately 6 weeks isn't that long in WD, the glimpses are a great sign, there is no punishment here, just all part of the process, sadly. You are doing better than you know.

Could the cold I got from my daughter be making my symptoms worse? I've been dealing with this cold for the past 3 days and it coincided with when my symptoms spiked.

2 hours ago, overthepill said:

Could the cold I got from my daughter be making my symptoms worse? I've been dealing with this cold for the past 3 days and it coincided with when my symptoms spiked.

Hey @overthepill, this is definitely a possibility. Folks have definitely reported before that getting sick has made their WD symptoms worse.

I know this is so, so hard, but I just wanted to repeat what others have said here that you're doing great to pass the time and you will get through this. I totally understand that feeling of desperation when you're in the middle of such intense suffering, but it WILL pass and you will get to enjoy life again on the other side.

Good afternoon @overthepill just got home from work and saw you recent post, and I would think that your symptoms ramping up is probably due to what ever your daughter might of had, but hope you all are fairing better. I know my CNS ramped up during my stomach bug issue and yes even being out as far as I am as you can see has thrown me into a bit of WD, it has been challenging, but with the wonderful people and support I receive from all the kind people here and reassurance it has made it more manageable. As far as the SI thoughts , just remind yourself there not your original thoughts, it's the medication. It's a very good sign your having glimpses, it just shows us our bodies are heal all the time . I got a new prayer poem I thought you might like, hope it helps you.

God

I'm starting this day

Without answers.

I don't understand

What you're doing

Or why this feeling is so heavy.

But the sun still came up.

And so did I.

So give me enough light

for the next step.

Enough patients

For the next conversation.

Enough peace

to quiet the what-if's

I don't need the whole picture.

Just stay close

While I walk through what I don't understand. Amen.

Overthepill, stay steady and patience with yourself and God always make a way for us even at the moment we don't understand. He is always guiding us and at just the right moments he shows us those glimpses for us to see what is ahead.

You are so strong and are doing amazing. Hugs for now xxx Bernadette 🤗❤️

@Chippy @Luke @Bernadette @mstimc60@SarahMc I've been mostly bedbound for a little over 3 months now (Time on the med 9 weeks + Time off the med 6 weeks) and am beginning to wonder how much this prolonged bedrest is contributing to my symptoms. Any advice how how to start getting back to upright life gradually, I don't want to overdo it and cause a setback but I also don't want to just keep staying in bed and deconditioning further. Any advice is greatly appreciated!