On 2/20/2026 at 8:07 AM, LostinCanada said:

Kindle prescription

lol ok….subscription…glad my world doesn’t revolve around withdrawal 🤣🤣🤣

Update: 

 

so I’m at like 5.2mg of Paxil. I hit a wall about a month ago of severe and bizarre intrusve thoughts, derealization and just a hyperaroused and sensitized cns. 
 

one thing that is also happening, I was watching a movie and I actually got goosebumps. Now while on Paxil I could still sometimes get goosebumps from music, but movies? Nope. Even from movies I LOVED. 
 

but today for the first time in probably 10 years I got goosebumps. Even with all of the dpdr, intrusve thoughts and anxiety, I still got goosebumps. It’s like a crazy person. 
 

I almost cried, like I feel! I feel like hell, but I also feel good! I am

ao worried becuase this feels fragile, like at any moment I’m gonna get way way worse and not be able to handle things like i did with my adverse reaction, but worry won’t change the outcome of a future event.

 

 

so im just wondering, has anyone else experienced this, normal rollercoaster

in the same day? With positive  and negative  feelings? 

29 minutes ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

Update: 

 

so I’m at like 5.2mg of Paxil. I hit a wall about a month ago of severe and bizarre intrusve thoughts, derealization and just a hyperaroused and sensitized cns. 
 

one thing that is also happening, I was watching a movie and I actually got goosebumps. Now while on Paxil I could still sometimes get goosebumps from music, but movies? Nope. Even from movies I LOVED. 
 

but today for the first time in probably 10 years I got goosebumps. Even with all of the dpdr, intrusve thoughts and anxiety, I still got goosebumps. It’s like a crazy person. 
 

I almost cried, like I feel! I feel like hell, but I also feel good! I am

ao worried becuase this feels fragile, like at any moment I’m gonna get way way worse and not be able to handle things like i did with my adverse reaction, but worry won’t change the outcome of a future event.

 

 

so im just wondering, has anyone else experienced this, normal rollercoaster

in the same day? With positive  and negative  feelings? 

Congrats on making it this far @Vonnegutjunkie God, what a horrible drug to get off of!

Definitely relate, every moment is a different festival, whole spectrum of emotions, exciting, horrifying and although it can be overwhelming it's a good sign to have our feelings back.

with time, I believe that all will regulate and land in the right place.

Keep up the great work, it will pay off eventually.

On 3/11/2026 at 4:01 AM, Vonnegutjunkie said:

Update: 

 

so I’m at like 5.2mg of Paxil. I hit a wall about a month ago of severe and bizarre intrusve thoughts, derealization and just a hyperaroused and sensitized cns. 
 

one thing that is also happening, I was watching a movie and I actually got goosebumps. Now while on Paxil I could still sometimes get goosebumps from music, but movies? Nope. Even from movies I LOVED. 
 

but today for the first time in probably 10 years I got goosebumps. Even with all of the dpdr, intrusve thoughts and anxiety, I still got goosebumps. It’s like a crazy person. 
 

I almost cried, like I feel! I feel like hell, but I also feel good! I am

ao worried becuase this feels fragile, like at any moment I’m gonna get way way worse and not be able to handle things like i did with my adverse reaction, but worry won’t change the outcome of a future event.

 

 

so im just wondering, has anyone else experienced this, normal rollercoaster

in the same day? With positive  and negative  feelings? 

Congratulations....I have the same medication and those ups and down symptoms are sign of healing.  I was on paxil for 12 years and no emotions on anything like a regular human being.   After I went down to 5mg, one day, I was watching  a romantic movie and I started to cry at the ending ...thats when I felt human again and myself.   

 

I have been on this rollercoaster and holding my dose at 4.79mg since October.  After 10 months on this journey, I hit another wall and old symptoms came back.  My main symptoms are anxiety, body anxiousness, cortisol, burning sensation morning fear.  All on and off but less intense than my first time.

 

My suggestion is to continue holding as long as you can.  You need to allow your CNS to adjust more and longer.  It can take many months but at this point,bits best to allow system to heal more and be stronger before reducing again....

 

I have been holding now for five months on my 15 month journey.

 

But again, many positive symptoms came back and still dealing with negative thoughts or symptoms too.

 

Keep going and crying is good for body.  It releases energy...

Update - vent and question all in one 🙂 

 

 

 

I have a question about waves. So last summer I finally after 5 years got down to 5mg of Paxil ; I tapered from 10mg with lots of holds and very small 5-6% drops waiting months in between. 

So last summer in June I’m feeling good and I go from 5.3 to 5mg - I felt fine- for like 3 months. Then the anxiety sets in….then the intrusive thoughts, and I think ok I can deal w this, Christmas came and went and even tho I was anxious I was still functioning.

Then I’m at my grand daughter’s gymnastics class and out of the blue I have a panic attack unlike anything I’ve ever had before. During this panic I get these intrusive images of my body being disconnected? Like my waist was just gone an I was not a full body - so I’m freaked out. But I try to breath through it. I then shut down and take almost 2 months off work. Just in a freeze response in a sensitized state. 

So for 2 months I find a therapist and start doing acceptance and start feeling about 20% better 2 days ago - I’m excited like whew - I’m feeling a bit better- then last night derealization and depersonalization hit me unlike anything I have ever felt before- and now I’m back into the highly sensitized state where I’m literally afraid of everything - afraid of food! Everything! The air, my body! Freaked out. 

It’s been 8 months since I last touched my dose.

Is this wd or just me? Like had anyone else had their symptoms creep up like this? Over months and months? I’m doing all of the things correctly as far as tapering goes, I’m not off, and I feel like giving up and going back on something - I don’t want to be on anything  but this is so strange an I feel like it’s just the real me becuase why would it take so long to creep up like this. ?

47 minutes ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

Is this wd or just me?

So a few things come to mind because it sounds like withdrawal.

Have you started a new batch of pills from the pharmacy? Have you verified it is the same manufacturer? Verified it is the right drug with your prescription? Are your pills expired? Have your pills been exposed to sunlight, too much heat, too much humidity? 

Is your scale working properly? When have you changed the batteries? 

Any viruses? Supplements? Changes in diet? No alcohol? No caffeine? Antibiotics? Vaccinations?

 

For me, it took 3 months for dp/dr to kick in after a cold turkey.... It is not unheard of to have a delayed response.

 

Edited April 9Apr 9 by LostinCanada

Wow, @Vonnegutjunkie, I'm so sorry to read your update. It seems you've done everything right. This concerns me as I will be where you are at some point. I'm finally below 15 mg of paroxetine, but it will be a good many years of tapering. I hope LIC's questions can help get to the bottom of this. I will follow your progress and hope and pray for you healing and comfort.

Jamie

4 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

So a few things come to mind because it sounds like withdrawal.

Have you started a new batch of pills from the pharmacy? Have you verified it is the same manufacturer? Verified it is the right drug with your prescription? Are your pills expired? Have your pills been exposed to sunlight, too much heat, too much humidity? 

Is your scale working properly? When have you changed the batteries? 

Any viruses? Supplements? Changes in diet? No alcohol? No caffeine? Antibiotics? Vaccinations?

 

For me, it took 3 months for dp/dr to kick in after a cold turkey.... It is not unheard of to have a delayed response.

 

My script is the same- scales (I have a lab grade scale) all the same- no changes at all- 

 

no supplements, no diet change, no antibiotics, no vaccinations. 
 

it was a slow creep of just anxiety and intrusve thoughts getting worse and worse - I wasn’t addressing these issues. I was white knuckling my way through - I wonder if it’s just sensitization from being on a low dose- I got on Paxil for anxiety and ocd - I am working on that now- but I will be honest - I wasn’t before as I was tapering- 

 

when I can distract or ignore my anxiety and panic, I tend to not work on it like I should be- and my sleep is terrible - 

 

I just don’t think this is full withdrawal- I think some of this is me? 
 

The first time I tried to taper when I got down to 5mg I also got horrid dpdr - maybe 5mg for me is just at that curve and my body is metabolizing the drug different now? I know at certain levels the drug no longer  inhibits a metabolite and it will increase the metabolism of the drug. It could be that? I don’t know, I am so scared. I just hope I can get through this and I hope I can live without medication. 

1 hour ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

I just hope I can get through this and I hope I can live without medication. 

Noone needs to be on the drugs 🙂 Certainly not you.

 

If you think you have some underlying natural anxiety/ocd it doesn't hurt to work on these things of course. Build up the tool box. But we don't need these drugs, they numb us, and after long term use we build up so much tolerance that those effects are minimal after a time.

 

I would hold this dose and let things settle. It does all sound like WD to be me.

 

How is your diet? Nice and clean? Getting some exercise, drinking plenty of water?

 

Chippy

6 hours ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

Update - vent and question all in one 🙂 

 

 

 

I have a question about waves. So last summer I finally after 5 years got down to 5mg of Paxil ; I tapered from 10mg with lots of holds and very small 5-6% drops waiting months in between. 

So last summer in June I’m feeling good and I go from 5.3 to 5mg - I felt fine- for like 3 months. Then the anxiety sets in….then the intrusive thoughts, and I think ok I can deal w this, Christmas came and went and even tho I was anxious I was still functioning.

Then I’m at my grand daughter’s gymnastics class and out of the blue I have a panic attack unlike anything I’ve ever had before. During this panic I get these intrusive images of my body being disconnected? Like my waist was just gone an I was not a full body - so I’m freaked out. But I try to breath through it. I then shut down and take almost 2 months off work. Just in a freeze response in a sensitized state. 

So for 2 months I find a therapist and start doing acceptance and start feeling about 20% better 2 days ago - I’m excited like whew - I’m feeling a bit better- then last night derealization and depersonalization hit me unlike anything I have ever felt before- and now I’m back into the highly sensitized state where I’m literally afraid of everything - afraid of food! Everything! The air, my body! Freaked out. 

It’s been 8 months since I last touched my dose.

Is this wd or just me? Like had anyone else had their symptoms creep up like this? Over months and months? I’m doing all of the things correctly as far as tapering goes, I’m not off, and I feel like giving up and going back on something - I don’t want to be on anything  but this is so strange an I feel like it’s just the real me becuase why would it take so long to creep up like this. ?

So sorry about this long wave that caught you @Vonnegutjunkie it's truly awful!

Imo honestly, it sounds too sharp and extreme with a touch of hallucinations to not be chemically produced, i.e. withdrawal symptoms, I can attest that when those kind of waves hit me it's painfully identical to what you describe.

There could be other factors such as the treatment you started which on the one gives relief and on the other strengthens triggers which is expected and fades over time, as well as a late flare which is definitely typical and also the dosage itself, when I was on your dosage I experienced very severe symptoms which now in lower it reduced but also the change of no more than 1% to 1.5% per reduction helped since above was too hard to bear.

Another thing that comes to mind is possible mineral/vitamin deficiencies so maybe it's worth checking.

Again, I personally think this is the effect of the reduction but obviously there's no full certainty but I do know since I'm living it, the mind during this period will automatically go to the most extreme and terrible scenarios, this is the last hold of the drug to remain in the system and it will do everything for it, at least my theory.

If I were you I would wait another period without changing the dosage and also consider blood tests if not yet to closed that corner.

Sending you strength and wish for easier days to come.

10 hours ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

Update - vent and question all in one 🙂 

 

 

 

I have a question about waves. So last summer I finally after 5 years got down to 5mg of Paxil ; I tapered from 10mg with lots of holds and very small 5-6% drops waiting months in between. 

So last summer in June I’m feeling good and I go from 5.3 to 5mg - I felt fine- for like 3 months. Then the anxiety sets in….then the intrusive thoughts, and I think ok I can deal w this, Christmas came and went and even tho I was anxious I was still functioning.

Then I’m at my grand daughter’s gymnastics class and out of the blue I have a panic attack unlike anything I’ve ever had before. During this panic I get these intrusive images of my body being disconnected? Like my waist was just gone an I was not a full body - so I’m freaked out. But I try to breath through it. I then shut down and take almost 2 months off work. Just in a freeze response in a sensitized state. 

So for 2 months I find a therapist and start doing acceptance and start feeling about 20% better 2 days ago - I’m excited like whew - I’m feeling a bit better- then last night derealization and depersonalization hit me unlike anything I have ever felt before- and now I’m back into the highly sensitized state where I’m literally afraid of everything - afraid of food! Everything! The air, my body! Freaked out. 

It’s been 8 months since I last touched my dose.

Is this wd or just me? Like had anyone else had their symptoms creep up like this? Over months and months? I’m doing all of the things correctly as far as tapering goes, I’m not off, and I feel like giving up and going back on something - I don’t want to be on anything  but this is so strange an I feel like it’s just the real me becuase why would it take so long to creep up like this. ?

@Vonnegutjunkie...I'm sorry you are in this situation.   It seems that you are in withdrawal.   I experienced many of those symptoms at 5mg paraxotine and some symptoms faded away while others persist during my journey.

 

Remember that after 5mg, it's when things can get little bumpy.  It seems you are doing great and taking time to reduce.  

 

You need to keep holding until most symptoms settle down again.

 

I'm at 4.79mg and being holding for six months now.  I might have to hold for another six months to allow my system to get stronger....

 

Hopefully, your symptoms fade away quickly....

 

I admire your patience and the way you have been handling everything during all this time.

 

Keep holding and moving forward....

8 hours ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

it was a slow creep of just anxiety and intrusve thoughts getting worse and worse

 

8 hours ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

body is metabolizing the drug different now?

This does happen around the 5 mg mark with paroxetine....for me it seems to be 4 mg. I would settle into a long hold. Give your body time to adjust to this change. I just came off a 6 month hold because 4 mg was affecting me horribly with gut issues. 

 

There also is the possibility that the drug is pooping out. I wouldn't updose, I would just sit with it for a few months. Definitely utilize some CBT, grounding, breathing stuff, etc.

8 hours ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

slow creep of just anxiety and intrusve thoughts getting worse and worse -

Was this occuring with drops in dose?

On 4/9/2026 at 11:02 AM, LostinCanada said:

 

This does happen around the 5 mg mark with paroxetine....for me it seems to be 4 mg. I would settle into a long hold. Give your body time to adjust to this change. I just came off a 6 month hold because 4 mg was affecting me horribly with gut issues. 

 

There also is the possibility that the drug is pooping out. I wouldn't updose, I would just sit with it for a few months. Definitely utilize some CBT, grounding, breathing stuff, etc.

Was this occuring with drops in dose?

Hey lost - sorry it took me so long to reply-

I realized in 2019 I hit a wall at about 7mg, and I held for like 4 years; and it’s happed again at 5mg, just sensitized and intense dpdr and other symptoms. So now I’m worried ya gonna just keep happening -_- hopefully once I’m off it will stop but I think maybe it’s a because the drug no longer works it’s just causing issues in general/ when I held that 7mg for 4 years I started to feel really normal and stable, so I decided to keep tapering. Well I am in therapy now and doing erp but man it’s hard when you feel so sensitized.

On 4/9/2026 at 8:29 AM, Raymond said:

@Vonnegutjunkie...I'm sorry you are in this situation.   It seems that you are in withdrawal.   I experienced many of those symptoms at 5mg paraxotine and some symptoms faded away while others persist during my journey.

 

Remember that after 5mg, it's when things can get little bumpy.  It seems you are doing great and taking time to reduce.  

 

You need to keep holding until most symptoms settle down again.

 

I'm at 4.79mg and being holding for six months now.  I might have to hold for another six months to allow my system to get stronger....

 

Hopefully, your symptoms fade away quickly....

 

I admire your patience and the way you have been handling everything during all this time.

 

Keep holding and moving forward....

Thanks so much for your kind words Raymond. I appreciate it.

On 4/9/2026 at 4:23 AM, Fullhealing said:

So sorry about this long wave that caught you @Vonnegutjunkie it's truly awful!

Imo honestly, it sounds too sharp and extreme with a touch of hallucinations to not be chemically produced, i.e. withdrawal symptoms, I can attest that when those kind of waves hit me it's painfully identical to what you describe.

There could be other factors such as the treatment you started which on the one gives relief and on the other strengthens triggers which is expected and fades over time, as well as a late flare which is definitely typical and also the dosage itself, when I was on your dosage I experienced very severe symptoms which now in lower it reduced but also the change of no more than 1% to 1.5% per reduction helped since above was too hard to bear.

Another thing that comes to mind is possible mineral/vitamin deficiencies so maybe it's worth checking.

Again, I personally think this is the effect of the reduction but obviously there's no full certainty but I do know since I'm living it, the mind during this period will automatically go to the most extreme and terrible scenarios, this is the last hold of the drug to remain in the system and it will do everything for it, at least my theory.

If I were you I would wait another period without changing the dosage and also consider blood tests if not yet to closed that corner.

Sending you strength and wish for easier days to come.

Thank you so much for your reply. Yes I will be here for a long time.

On 4/9/2026 at 4:12 AM, Chippy said:

Noone needs to be on the drugs 🙂 Certainly not you.

 

If you think you have some underlying natural anxiety/ocd it doesn't hurt to work on these things of course. Build up the tool box. But we don't need these drugs, they numb us, and after long term use we build up so much tolerance that those effects are minimal after a time.

 

I would hold this dose and let things settle. It does all sound like WD to be me.

 

How is your diet? Nice and clean? Getting some exercise, drinking plenty of water?

 

Chippy

Thanks for your reply chippy. No my diet goes to crap when I feel bad; I just don’t care to eat healthy when I feel so bad. I will hold my dose for a long while and hope I can heal. After all this time, I am still hoping I can heal.

49 minutes ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

No my diet goes to crap when I feel bad; I just don’t care to eat healthy when I feel so bad.

It can really help, if you can find little ways to clean this up.

49 minutes ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

I will hold my dose for a long while and hope I can heal. After all this time, I am still hoping I can heal.

And yes you can heal! :) Holding can often be the best thing you can do.

6 hours ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

Hey lost - sorry it took me so long to reply-

I realized in 2019 I hit a wall at about 7mg, and I held for like 4 years; and it’s happed again at 5mg, just sensitized and intense dpdr and other symptoms. So now I’m worried ya gonna just keep happening -_- hopefully once I’m off it will stop but I think maybe it’s a because the drug no longer works it’s just causing issues in general/ when I held that 7mg for 4 years I started to feel really normal and stable, so I decided to keep tapering. Well I am in therapy now and doing erp but man it’s hard when you feel so sensitized.

I remember Brassmonkey saying paroxetine is hell from 6 mg to 2 mg. So far we are proving that right. Aren't we fortunate? 😭

Each drop is a win no matter how small. One step at a time. ❤️🙏

Are you using a DIY liquid or pills? What manufacturer? Thanks.

On 4/22/2026 at 10:14 AM, LostinCanada said:

I remember Brassmonkey saying paroxetine is hell from 6 mg to 2 mg. So far we are proving that right. Aren't we fortunate? 😭

Each drop is a win no matter how small. One step at a time. ❤️🙏

Are you using a DIY liquid or pills? What manufacturer? Thanks.

I am using Zydus and dry cutting - I have an analytical lab scale I bought off eBay for a few hundred dollars. But it measures below 1mg - I can’t get liquid - my insurance wouldn’t pay for it and I won’t make a water becuase Paxil isn’t water soluble and I have heard of many many people having really worse time trying to do water - so I’ll just shave my pill and weigh it

Many have done it successfully on SA. Like any semi soluble or non soluble pill, simply adding maple syrup as part of the liquid solution makes it a suspension. Ora plus can also be used. The pill needs to be crushed to help with distribution.

Cheeky and Wombat both are using DIY liquid.

Just options. Obviously do what you are comfortable with.

Just came to post an update- still at 5mg for over a year now - I am now getting really bad derealization and depersonalization- I had a few windows - but the dpdr is really really affecting me - so that’s my update- I am petrified of the lasting for years as it does for some people - but I feel so weird and unlike myself

2 hours ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

Just came to post an update- still at 5mg for over a year now - I am now getting really bad derealization and depersonalization- I had a few windows - but the dpdr is really really affecting me - so that’s my update- I am petrified of the lasting for years as it does for some people - but I feel so weird and unlike myself

Im sorry stablisation is taking so long for you, hang onto to those windows, real signs of healing.

9 hours ago, Vonnegutjunkie said:

Just came to post an update- still at 5mg for over a year now - I am now getting really bad derealization and depersonalization- I had a few windows - but the dpdr is really really affecting me - so that’s my update- I am petrified of the lasting for years as it does for some people - but I feel so weird and unlike myself

keep hanging in there! the dpdr is really awful but the fact that you had windows, to me says that you are on the path to recovery. one of the best things that one can do in my personal opinion with derealization and depersonalization is to not resist it and to just let it happen. i know that its easier said than done but it makes a big difference in how you handle the dpdr. you can also try some grounding exercises and see if those help. always remember that youre strong and that you can get through this!

Edited June 20Jun 20 by Some0n3

@Vonnegutjunkie are you weighing your pill to get the 5 mg? Not just splitting a 10 mg.

Sticking with the same manufacturer? Have you started a new batch? (Different expiry)

Are you calibrating your scale everytime before you use it?

No new supplements? Changes in diet? Avoiding caffeine, alcohol, msg, artificial sweeteners, etc?