13 hours ago, SparklingG said:

I hope you are keeping as well as you can since your last update and that the windows have been more abundant in this next month of your journey 🪟☀️.

Thank you so much @SparklingG! I admire you in your CT journey as well. It can definitely be a roller coaster, but we will both get through it. Positivity is hard on wave days, especially if it's a hijacked by negative thoughts day! But I know that those awful symptoms will subside and are temporary. Upward and onward, toward our healing and real lives back!😊💖

On 1/24/2026 at 1:25 AM, Luke said:

The biggest thanks that anyone could give me or @Chippy is recovering, writing a success story and then living well.

 

I want that for each and everyone who posts here. None of the medical harm done to people here is ok

Agree @Luke! We will all be reading each other's success stories, and living our lives with gratitude. And yes, this medical harm is not OK. The fight continues for the black box warning and informed consent. 

Hi @HopePerseveres2.0,

 

i remember your name from SA and I love your 3 cat picture. Are they your cats? I have 3 cats as well. 

 

I read your update and I so related to your number 3 with the flatness, negativity and weepiness. I agree we have to keep hope and and we will get though this. When I am feeling okay I actually get really hopeful thoughts about how I will feel and finding the real me. Not that I strayed too far from my values and passion when on ad's but I want to feel again and not just think a feeling. 

 

Anyway look forward to your month 12 update. I often wonder what would have happened if I had known to stay off and not reinstate. I think I would be well down the healing track now. Oh well I guess things happen for some reasons outside of our control. 

 

And here is to us golden oldies 💛

 

 

🌊🏄🏼‍♀️🌊❄️🦃 Cold Turkey Update

Jan 19th 2026- Feb 19th 2026 

Month 12 begins. 1 year won and done!🎉

 

Hey friends,

 

Wow, I can't believe it's been one whole year of CT off this drug. One whole year of the hardest time of my life. As I reflect back on this past year, many emotions have cropped up. Anger at a system that failed and gaslit us, sadness for the horrible symptoms I experienced, confusion over what my poor body and brain have been going through to survive. Grief that I had to resign from my job in acceptance that my recovery and full healing come first. They were still holding my position, but it wasn't fair to them to keep dragging this out as there was no part time or work from home option. My CNS is still too fragile for in office full time work.

 

Recovery is hard. But I've learned beautiful lessons. Recovery isn't measured in months or years-it's measured in moments of choosing life over death, hope over despair, connection over isolation. It's finding calm in the center of a storm. It's relying on acceptance and surrender. It's about learning to live with grace in a world of medical withdrawal injury that doesn't always make sense. It's about not giving up, and moving forward with renewed purpose. It's clinging on to what's real, authentic and true. It's detaching from lies, concepts or toxic people who do not support, believe or care for my well being during this hard season. It is fully relying on God for healing and serenity.

 

I've also learned that this is truly war. What a battle we've been fighting! The core of our very being was being numbed and highjacked by these drugs. Not on my watch! I have met so many brave warriors as yourselves who also listened to your intuition and are bravely moving forward in your desire to heal and become your true selves again. Which you will.

 

Normally I list my top three symptoms. As I am going through classic window and waves patterns, they are often appearing in clusters, and fast cycling. Some days I can’t keep up with the yoyo of changes in a day!  I've had some harsh waves this month. But each window is definitely more quality, and clearer and closer to my true self. I had one last week that was about 75%-80% normal, most symptoms were light and physical. Then another wave crashed. So I still have more healing waves to go through. I'll list them again next month. For this year anniversary, I want to focus more on moving forward, and the truth that healing happens.

 

I'd like to give a few shout outs. The first is to those of us who were CT'd. There is alot of help, suggestions and support for those who are still tapering, but not so much is out there for those of us in cold turkey. CT is definitely a challenge. For me it has been invaluable learning from others who CT'd and are healed living life well again. Both Angie Peacock’s and Joanna King's circles have been a lifesaver of hope for me that those of us in CT can survive and thrive. Healing buddies both in CT and tapering have also been lifelines for me!

 

The second shout out is for two of the biggest, bravest warriors on this site, @NT1100B and @skamen. Most all of us have read your posts of some of the most extreme suffering, and our hearts go out to you both. I admire both of you for your perseverance and true survival grit. And we are all cheering for you, praying for you and believing in you. Please, please keep going through each day. Your breakthrough will happen, and your lives will come back. Thank you both for your inspiration. So many are learning from your warrior spirits.

 

I will try to catch up later on replying to those on this site. I appreciate each and every one of you. I am trying to spend most time in my real life, faking it til making it. I think it's the best strategy for my neuroplasticity and ultimate healing. In the meantime follow your true selves, listen to your core. Warrior on, we all got this!

 

HopePerseveres2.0 💖😺

 

"Whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." Colossians 3:23

 

 

 

 

36 minutes ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

. In the meantime follow your true selves, listen to your core. Warrior on, we all got this!

Thanks @HopePerseveres2.0 You are a genuine friend and true kindred spirit. You have always cheered me

up in my darkest of moments, while battling through the same yourself. Your sharp wit and humour are priceless,

and totally clued up as well, against this horror that none of us anticipated, or bargained for, with too much trust in

clueless doctors. 

 

I sincerely hope this is the year for you Hope, the year you fully recover and find your true self again, only a stronger

and wiser and more confident self, with an even bigger zest for life, it's fun and happiness. So keep plodding Hope

it's out there waiting for us all, just keep hold of the patience, a bit more perseverance keeping faith and we will be there. 

Wishing you all the very best,          B.😺🌷

Thank you, HopePerseveres2.0, to believe in my strength to go through this Hell. I never ever have imagined that such an agony can exist on Earth. It is beyond of the most cruel suffering... But I have to hang on, for my daughter and for my husband. Thank you again.

Svetla

@HopePerseveres2.0 these words are so beautifully written.

you are so strong and brave and such a good buddy even when you are struggling yourself.

 

keep up the good work, the windows are coming, the waves are lighter.

 

God bless you

R ♥️ 🕊️ 🌈 

5 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

Recovery isn't measured in months or years-it's measured in moments of choosing life over death, hope over despair, connection over isolation. It's finding calm in the center of a storm. It's relying on acceptance and surrender. It's about learning to live with grace in a world of medical withdrawal injury that doesn't always make sense. It's about not giving up, and moving forward with renewed purpose. It's clinging on to what's real, authentic and true. It's detaching from lies, concepts or toxic people who do not support, believe or care for my well being during this hard season. It is fully relying on God for healing and serenity.

Dear @HopePerseveres2.0, thank you for your beautiful post ! you find wonderful words for what I feel, but cannot express. I also had to choose life and again and again, and  I still have to accept, to surrender and to distance myself from inner lies. 
God is present in every single moment, he does not shy away from our suffering, Christ has shown us that he’s right there where there is suffering. We Rely on him and he will not leave us.

 

thank you again!

sending you peace and love

 

Nemina 

On 2/14/2026 at 7:03 PM, Tracey said:

 

i remember your name from SA and I love your 3 cat picture. Are they your cats? I have 3 cats as well. 

 

I read your update and I so related to your number 3 with the flatness, negativity and weepiness. I agree we have to keep hope and and we will get though this. When I am feeling okay I actually get really hopeful thoughts about how I will feel and finding the real me. Not that I strayed too far from my values and passion when on ad's but I want to feel again and not just think a feeling. 

 

Anyway look forward to your month 12 update. I often wonder what would have happened if I had known to stay off and not reinstate. I think I would be well down the healing track now. Oh well I guess things happen for some reasons outside of our control. 

 

And here is to us golden oldies 💛

 

 

Hi @Tracey,

 

Thank you for stopping by! Yes, those are our 3 cats. Rescued, all sisters! Yes, their mama had lots of boyfriends!😉 Nice that you have three as well! They are fun and therapeutic.

 

Yes, we have to keep the hope. We will heal for sure! It's quite the journey though. I see you are on a low level of GenLex now. What an awful drug. Hopefully your jump to 0 will transition well, just take it slow!

 

Yes, many of us vintage golden oldies on this site! 🤣Adding another year to my 60's this Sunday, praying to be in window. Last year my present was jumping off these drugs and going right into acute WD, so this year will be a picnic compared to that surprise!🥳

9 hours ago, NT1100B said:

it's out there waiting for us all, just keep hold of the patience, a bit more perseverance keeping faith and we will be there. 

Hey @NT1100B, Thanks for stopping by! Yes, we are kindred spirits in this horrible journey, and we will definitely make it through healed with good times back in our lives. In the meantime we have our doctor and big pharma rants for much needed laughs to carry us through! 🦜🤬🦜🤬😁

9 hours ago, skamen said:

never ever have imagined that such an agony can exist on Earth. It is beyond of the most cruel suffering... But I have to hang on, for my daughter and for my husband

@skamen, Hi Svetla, I absolutely agree with you. This is inhumane and cruel that anything like this could ever happen. It's shocking that these drugs are still harming so many people. You seem to me a very intelligent and compassionate woman. Please hang on for your husband, daughter and all of us who love you. You will get through this fire, and have your life back better than ever. I truly believe this. Stay strong.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️

7 hours ago, Its-me-Rosie said:

keep up the good work, the windows are coming, the waves are lighter.

@Its-me-Rosie, Thank you my lovely friend! I am so pleased that you had a lovely holiday with some beautiful windows. Some day we won't be worrying anymore about waves, as our lives will be windows full of love and light again! ✨️💖✨️

5 hours ago, Nemina said:

God is present in every single moment, he does not shy away from our suffering, Christ has shown us that he’s right there where there is suffering. We Rely on him and he will not leave us.

Hello @Nemina, thank you for your lovely reply. I am sorry that you are tapering from this horrible drug, and pray it goes as smooth as possible for you! Yes, we are suffering, but God will use it for good. He will never leave us our forsake us. We keep our eye on the prize. He will heal us through this. Many blessings your way!🙏💖🕊

12 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

🌊🏄🏼‍♀️🌊❄️🦃 Cold Turkey Update

Jan 19th 2026- Feb 19th 2026 

Month 12 begins. 1 year won and done!🎉

 

Hey friends,

 

Wow, I can't believe it's been one whole year of CT off this drug. One whole year of the hardest time of my life. As I reflect back on this past year, many emotions have cropped up. Anger at a system that failed and gaslit us, sadness for the horrible symptoms I experienced, confusion over what my poor body and brain have been going through to survive. Grief that I had to resign from my job in acceptance that my recovery and full healing come first. They were still holding my position, but it wasn't fair to them to keep dragging this out as there was no part time or work from home option. My CNS is still too fragile for in office full time work.

 

Recovery is hard. But I've learned beautiful lessons. Recovery isn't measured in months or years-it's measured in moments of choosing life over death, hope over despair, connection over isolation. It's finding calm in the center of a storm. It's relying on acceptance and surrender. It's about learning to live with grace in a world of medical withdrawal injury that doesn't always make sense. It's about not giving up, and moving forward with renewed purpose. It's clinging on to what's real, authentic and true. It's detaching from lies, concepts or toxic people who do not support, believe or care for my well being during this hard season. It is fully relying on God for healing and serenity.

 

I've also learned that this is truly war. What a battle we've been fighting! The core of our very being was being numbed and highjacked by these drugs. Not on my watch! I have met so many brave warriors as yourselves who also listened to your intuition and are bravely moving forward in your desire to heal and become your true selves again. Which you will.

 

Normally I list my top three symptoms. As I am going through classic window and waves patterns, they are often appearing in clusters, and fast cycling. Some days I can’t keep up with the yoyo of changes in a day!  I've had some harsh waves this month. But each window is definitely more quality, and clearer and closer to my true self. I had one last week that was about 75%-80% normal, most symptoms were light and physical. Then another wave crashed. So I still have more healing waves to go through. I'll list them again next month. For this year anniversary, I want to focus more on moving forward, and the truth that healing happens.

 

I'd like to give a few shout outs. The first is to those of us who were CT'd. There is alot of help, suggestions and support for those who are still tapering, but not so much is out there for those of us in cold turkey. CT is definitely a challenge. For me it has been invaluable learning from others who CT'd and are healed living life well again. Both Angie Peacock’s and Joanna King's circles have been a lifesaver of hope for me that those of us in CT can survive and thrive. Healing buddies both in CT and tapering have also been lifelines for me!

 

The second shout out is for two of the biggest, bravest warriors on this site, @NT1100B and @skamen. Most all of us have read your posts of some of the most extreme suffering, and our hearts go out to you both. I admire both of you for your perseverance and true survival grit. And we are all cheering for you, praying for you and believing in you. Please, please keep going through each day. Your breakthrough will happen, and your lives will come back. Thank you both for your inspiration. So many are learning from your warrior spirits.

 

I will try to catch up later on replying to those on this site. I appreciate each and every one of you. I am trying to spend most time in my real life, faking it til making it. I think it's the best strategy for my neuroplasticity and ultimate healing. In the meantime follow your true selves, listen to your core. Warrior on, we all got this!

 

HopePerseveres2.0 💖😺

 

"Whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." Colossians 3:23

 

 

 

 

Beautiful post @HopePerseveres2.0 I hope your waves get shorter still and windows clearer this coming month xxx

24 minutes ago, Chippy said:

hope your waves get shorter still and windows clearer this coming month

Thanks @Chippy! We'll see what happens!

8 minutes ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

Thanks @Chippy! We'll see what happens!

🤞

Hello @HopePerseveres2.0, 

 

Your update is inspiring. It gives me hope. 

 

I read your comment on Chippy's thread re a burning tongue. I agree it is tolerable and knowing what it is helped me. I had no idea when it first came on. It is much milder now and I can handle it. Burning lips and sensitive oral mucosa go with it sometimes. 

 

Look forward to your next update. Oh 2 of my cats are sisters ( rescue's). I have only just read your reply to me here, missed it somehow. 

 

 

 

 

Hey HP2.0, how are you? I hope you are doing well and enjoying better weather than what we have been having here the past 2 days. I have not been able to make our group nor be on here much in the past 2 weeks. I am getting better but this virus kicked me in the butt. Hopefully this means that I will not get sick for a very long time. 🤞🏼✝️

 

Be well, my friend.

 

 

On 3/13/2026 at 3:01 PM, namastejen1 said:

I am getting better but this virus kicked me in the butt. Hopefully this means that I will not get sick for a very long

Hi @namastejen1, Same! I got that nasty virus too around the same time you did. It definitely has been hitting California hard, and put me in quite the wave. I hope you recovered OK and are doing good. 🙏💖✝️

🌊🏄🏼‍♀️🌊❄️🦃 Cold Turkey Update

Feb 19th 2026- March 19th 2026

Month 13 begins🌊

 

Hi friends!

 

There used to be some old saying about March coming in like a lamb and out like a lion, or vice versa. Now it's more like coming in like a wave, and leaving out on a wave!

 

I had one window in this timeframe, the rest of month 12 for me was all wave! I'm really hoping it's lucky 13 for this upcoming month. My first year mark was not too fun! Alot of it was attributed to that new gnarly virus going around. I picked it up around March 1st. I got tested for Covid and the flu,the urgent care doc said it was an unknown virus and gave me 6 prescriptions for various cough syrups, inhalers, etc! Looking at all the dubious possibly activating ingredients, I didn’t fill any of them.

 

Getting sick on top of CT injury withdrawal is definitely challenging. At first I thought it was WD symptoms of cold and flu coming up, as I have had those often before. Once the throat got sore, I knew I was sick. I hardly ever got sick before this drug, and could easily shake a cold. This was the hardest virus I ever rode through, with WD giving it that extra special touch. I broke down and took Zincam and 1/2 Bayer aspirin for 3 days just to help loosen the mucus and help the fever. Mostly had alot of soup, honey and garlic. I was fatigued and useless for easily 3 weeks. I felt like I was in a lighter version of acute.

 

This week I am slowly coming back to life. I had the energy to take light walks again, and had enough functional waves to do a few chores that were long overdue. Then my husband had to go to the ER today, he is OK but that set off another wave. I definitely feel beat up this month!

 

My Top 3 Symptoms below will be listed as clusters. Again, not to be triggering but hopefully helpful to those down the road. I find other's monthly symptoms helpful to know that I’m not alone in this! Unfortunately, it looks like the old SA website is completely shut down now, so my past monthly history is unavailable.🙁

 

🍀 1. Negative attitude and looping thoughts of not healing, crying spells, major fatigue. This was huge this month possibly because of feeling so sick, and not having as many windows to keep that positivity going.

🍀 2. Nausea, burning tongue and depression. These seem to hit together, felt very chemical, like my stomach receptors were being worked on. A lighter version of the acute stage. Thank God for ginger chews!

🍀 3. Heart pounding, woozy carsick dizziness, heavy head, vision sensitivity, brain feeling broken. This would hit altogether randomly sometimes upon awakening, other times with exercise or heat intolerance. 

 

On a more positive note, I had one good window near the end of February on my birthday. Last year I had jumped off three days before my birthday as a present to me to get off these drugs. I thought that I would be better on my birthday. Surprise! 🥳 That was the start of my CT hell and shocking symptoms. So this year was so much better. I enjoyed a nice window feeling good and almost normal, some slight physical symptoms only. I kept rereading about that window day the whole time I was sick to remind me that healing is happening.

 

So I am trying to reset and move onwards and upwards. I know that I will still have some hard months, and it could still be bumpy before it gets better. Many healing buddies in CT are going through challenges in this 12 - 18 month period. I also know that we are getting closer to the healing. Some have already had some excellent windows between the harsh waves. Many start seeing significance improvements and corners in the 18-24 month timeframe.

 

I will continue to concentrate on trying to live my life as normally as possible. Again, I will be less on the site for awhile. I really think this is beneficial for those of us CT until we turn some major corners to keep our sensitive minds off constantly consuming withdrawal thoughts. I thoroughly believe in that no matter what is in our toolboxes that we choose to get us through, time is still the healer. 

 

I also believe that this is a battle, and that it is absolutely evil and inhumane what we have been going through.  I believe that what is good and right always wins in the end, that God will heal us, and that we will get through and regain our best lives. This horror will not win. Warrior on. 💖😼⚔️🕊

 

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:12-13

 

HopePerseveres2.0 💖

Hey @HopePerseveres2.0

 

Sorry to hear you are in a nasty long wave atm. @Its-me-Rosie did mention this to me. I hope it goes soon. They always do eventually! Lots of healing happening here for sure. That is a good sign in my book. Massive window to follow.

 

Glad you were gifted a window for your birthday.

 

Also good move avoiding more potions and lotions from the doctor, they often just make things worse as you know!

 

Im hoping your next update is a good one! Got it crossed for you. 

 

Chippy

Woo hoo another month done!!!!

 

Month 13 will be much better I’m sure, you can do this 💪 

our Symtoms are very similar at times, nausea is the only one I’ve not been having but the weird woozy stuff and I’ve even had some palpitations recently and not had those for ages!!!

 

Healing  is happening even in a wave and even with a nasty virus.

 

Lots of love

Rosie x 

Hope you're doing well, Hope.

 

I'm glad you had a window during your birthday, but sorry to hear the year mark has been difficult. Praying for you. 

🌊🏄🏼‍♀️🌊❄️🦃 Cold Turkey Update

March 19th 2026- April 19th 2026

Month 14 begins🌊

Hey friends!

I haven't forgotten you all! I'm just sticking with my recovery plan of staying off forums until my healing is stronger. I think it’s really beneficial for those of us cold turkeyed off these poisons to try and live life as normally as possible. We know what this atrocity is by now. I don't want to focus on wave symptoms constantly. My CNS is still sensitive, so until I cross over to that strong turning point corner, I am protecting it.

Normally I list my top three symptoms, but since my year mark I am concentrating on phases now. My focus is on getting through this 12 month - 18 month phase. Month 13 was almost a repeat of month 12. Lots of waves, cycling symptoms, some felt almost like acute again! But in the rare windows this month, I am getting closer to having my real self back.

Joanna King has a great blog and video about the "Messy Middles". This is where I am at this month. It truly is messy. In this non-linear healing, I am tired of it and sooo over it. I'm sure I still have a way to go. My trajectory is not the classic waves and window pattern I had in months 6-12. The waves days now seem longer, unpredictable and different. They are extremely uncomfortable, but I can tell healing is happening. Some people never get windows in this phase so I feel blessed when I get them. This too will pass, and the healing will happen. Keep riding your waves, it is a temporary situation.

I can also now understand why when people finally heal, they don't always come back to share their success story. This journey is so brutal that when relief finally comes, you just want to move forward and never look back! In my rare windows this month, I didn't think about waves. In a wave, I can't remember the last window! That's why I have to journal the windows and reread them to remind me of the truth.

After 3 weeks of mostly waves this month, I finally had a good window on the 13th. I could feel contentment and a sense of normalcy again. I could walk the beach and notice how brilliantly blue and turquoise the water was. The flowers seemed colorful, I was more of my animated happy self with people. The sun felt great, smiling came easy. I have taken this same walk in a wave before solely for distraction, not noticing anything! That's how strange this whole journey is!

So I'll see what month 14 brings! When days get rough, I utilize my healing buddies or Angie's or Joanna's groups for support. What helps me the most in this phase is hearing from those who made it to the other side and how they have their life back and it's even better than ever! How amazing is that? We will get there too! It truly is God and time. Continued prayers to you all.

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

💖😺🌞🙏

HopePerseveres2.0

Hey @HopePerseveres2.0

Thanks for the update. Im sorry it has been a difficult time for you, as you say, not uncommon to have this happen at your stage. More symptoms = more healing!

We understand, if staying off the forum is right for you, we respect that! I love you still update us. We are happy to hear how you are!

I know one day you will be back here with your recovery story! I will look forward to reading it! We need as many as we can get, although I understand why some don't want to come back!

More healing coming your way soon!

Chippy