Hello @NBJ71 how are you doing? It’s almost a year now since your fateful brush with antidepressants…Still feeling better?

On 2/1/2026 at 4:26 AM, NBJ71 said:

This is probably my first positive update in over 16 months. I appear to of come out of this recent wave in better shape than I went into it. 

This is great news!  Yes the general trend is that as we come out of a wave, our next window is better than the one before.  I'm so glad to hear that things are improving for you.  

Hey @Nemina

 

How are you? I see that you’ve held your taper due to an increase in symptoms. You’ve got such a small amount left to taper, you’re almost there! I guess it’s important to stay disciplined and not jump off too soon, slow is the new fast! 
 

Im ok, thanks for asking. It’s been 16 months since I touched any medication, the first 9 months I was practically housebound. However, I’ve recently come out of a two week wave feeling the best I’ve felt since this all started. I still have 6 or 7 main symptoms but I’m thankfully far better than I was 6 months ago. 

Hi @getofflex

 

Thank you for the encouragement, I’m still a work in progress so to speak but I’m functional now which is a far cry from the first 9 months of this journey. 
 

Although we never  interacted,  I read many of your posts on SA during those sleepless nights. I see that you’re 3.5 years drug free but still suffer a variety of symptoms. Would you say you’re able to go about living your life now or do they still restrict you? 

1 hour ago, NBJ71 said:

Although we never  interacted,  I read many of your posts on SA during those sleepless nights. I see that you’re 3.5 years drug free but still suffer a variety of symptoms. Would you say you’re able to go about living your life now or do they still restrict you? 

I would say that I'm 90% recovered.  You can see my success story on here.  My symptoms now are minimal most days - some insomnia, but sleep is much better than it was - about 5.5 to 7 hours a night, some fatigue, but I'm mostly able to live a normal life now.  At times, if I eat the wrong thing, or there is a major weather disturbance, (there are a lot of those here - I live right where 3 major air currents collide at the confluence of 2 major rivers), or I have major stress, my insomnia and anxiety will uptick.  So my nervous system is still fragile.  However I'm confident that someday this will also improve.  My sleep has improved since I gave up Splenda, and have improved my diet. 

On 2/4/2026 at 10:20 PM, NBJ71 said:

Hey @Nemina

 

How are you? I see that you’ve held your taper due to an increase in symptoms. You’ve got such a small amount left to taper, you’re almost there! I guess it’s important to stay disciplined and not jump off too soon, slow is the new fast! 
 

Im ok, thanks for asking. It’s been 16 months since I touched any medication, the first 9 months I was practically housebound. However, I’ve recently come out of a two week wave feeling the best I’ve felt since this all started. I still have 6 or 7 main symptoms but I’m thankfully far better than I was 6 months ago. 

Hello @NBJ71, I just saw your answer 

(somethings wrong with my system. I often do not get notified… @Chippy could you please have a look?)

wow your progress sounds quite good! “Feeling the best since it all started”, that sounds wonderful. 
I really hope that you will have a very long window now and never see a wave as bad as before!

 

yes, I have been holding for 3 1/2 months but now I have given up the hope that this will calm everything down. I just do not make progress since October last year. So I have now resumed my taper very carefully (from 0.34 to 0.335)mg. I have taken those antidepressants for 10 years so maybe I just cannot expect my brain to remodel itself quicker. 
tonight I’m in a really bad state. But tomorrow is a new day and seeing progress like it gives me hope. Have a peaceful night!

Nemina

5 hours ago, Nemina said:

I often do not get notified… @Chippy could you please have a look?)

You’ve not got your email notifications on if that’s what you were wanting Nemina. I’ve turned it on for most things for you. I’ve also set it that you automatically follow content you post on. 
 

Check out the settings here and tweak them to suit you. 😀

 

https://antidepressantrecovery.org/notifications/options/

Hey @Nemina

 

Im so sorry you’re still struggling, I really am. Holding to achieve more stability generally adds to a better quality of life while tapering, I’ve seen people on SA hold for anything up to a year. Lots of people have 6 month holds. It’s a real juggling act at times. The name of the game is to arrive at zero and have as smooth a landing as possible. 
 

Maybe the reductions towards the end  are harder due to receptor occupancy at lower doses. Many people continue to taper with symptoms which they can tolerate. Slow is definitely the new fast. 
 

I hope today sees you feeling a little brighter, keep pushing on Nemina, you’ll get there eventually, we all will! 

Edited February 6Feb 6 by NBJ71

Hi @NBJ71,

3 hours ago, NBJ71 said:

Im so sorry you’re still struggling, I really am.

Thank you so much! It means a lot to me.
 

 

3 hours ago, NBJ71 said:

Holding to achieve more stability generally adds to a better quality of life while tapering, I’ve seen people on SA hold for anything up to a year. Lots of people have 6 month holds. It’s a real juggling act at times. The name of the game is to arrive at zero and have as smooth a landing as possible. 

You are absolutely right. I was wondering, though, whether I am in poop out. I have been in poop out every one or one and a half years while I was on the antidepressants. then I always did a fast switch to another one and it started working again. (Crazy thing, not recommended!) I always went down to zero in about three days and stayed there for a couple of days until the brain zaps were really strong. Then I started with a new one, updosing it again in about three days to the full dose. In three weeks or so I was feeling fine again. This procedure was of course recommended by my neurologist. I think I did this almost 10 times.
 

I have been tapering Lexapro for 15 months now so poop out is possible. That is why I didn’t want to hold so extremely long….  Anyway, today I am better than yesterday evening, even though the night was really not good. Alarm, inner trembling  and tension. Oh boy, I can’t wait until I have this behind me.

I hope you are doing OK. ☺️“ work in progress.”, that’s what we are. You are right. So I hope for you for good progress! Smooth and fast.
Take good care

Nemina 

Thanks so much for your message.

my wave lifted yesterday around 2pm and I felt SO much better until this morning.

hopefully it lifts again.

 

for me it’s the intense anxiety that’s the worst, when it lifts my mood improves and my intrusive thoughts lessen and all of a sudden I’m human again!!

 

hoping some sunshine may help, we go away next week. Dreading jet lag and the journey but I must be vitamin D deficient as I haven’t had any supplements and haven’t seen any sun for months….

 

Maybe it’s a bit sunnier in Plymouth but York is cold and miserable and not doing much for my mood at all….

 

hoping for a decent window 🙏 

im nearly at the 12 month mark, lots of grief surfacing for this past year and how hard it’s been.

 

i am really hoping for lots of healing over the next 12 months.  
all the best and I hope you are still in a window? 
Rosie x 

Hi @NBJ71,

 

Just reading your story for the second time and catching up on your recent posts. I can relate to that desperation for help you experienced back at the beginning.   Thanks for jumping in on my story. 

 

So happy for you that you are feeling the best your have felt in months and functional at least.  I am so sorry that you lost your brother during such awful times, it seems much harder to grieve when the nervous system is so dysregulated and death is the last thing you want to be dealing with. 

 

You were on SSRI's for such a short time and were so affected by them, just beyond belief these drugs can do this and then for symptoms become so protracted and debilitating. 

 

You are doing really well and this will be all behind us one day. This huge test of human spirit, endurance and courage. 

 

Tracey 😊

 

 

Hi @Tracey

 

Thank you for dropping in and your kind words. Yes I can’t say that the last two years have been much fun. What can we do though? Just put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time and keep grinding through the days. I guess it’s all just part of the rich tapestry of life. I feel that we will all come out of this as stronger and more compassionate people. If we can get through this, we can cope with anything in the future. 
 

Anyway, how are you feeling? I see that you’ve been holding since December? I’ve not had to taper but it seems that longer holds will give you more stability in the long run, slow is the new fast! I think it’s a frustrating journey as everyone wants to be off of these medications as soon as possible. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had some life stressors recently, they certainly don’t help when in withdrawal and tapering. The nervous system can be incredibly delicate and reactive at times! 
 

My hope for you is that you feel comfortable enough to start your taper again soon. You’ll get there Tracey, we all will. Brighter days are ahead for all of us, god knows we deserve it! 
 

I’ll be keeping an eye out for your updates and progress. 
 

Take care

 

Nick. 
 

 

Hello Nick, I have been reading your thread at AD and I want to tell you that I am very impressed that you made this hospital you were sent to actually implement changes concerning their treatment of adverse reactions. That is fantastic. You probably helped a lot of people immensely. 

But what a sudden shock you had to endure that turned your life upside down. that must have been traumatic. I am happy that you now feel much better. It will be interesting to see what we all will say once we have this ordeal well behind us. I hope looking back we will see that there was some good in it.

Anyway right now we are still waiting for this day. May it come soon for you and all of us!

 

7 hours ago, NBJ71 said:

Hi @Tracey

 

Thank you for dropping in and your kind words. Yes I can’t say that the last two years have been much fun. What can we do though? Just put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time and keep grinding through the days. I guess it’s all just part of the rich tapestry of life. I feel that we will all come out of this as stronger and more compassionate people. If we can get through this, we can cope with anything in the future. 

 

 

Thanks for the thoughtful reply Nick.

 

I resonate very much with what you say. Keep plodding on for sure, staying as present moment and aware as possible. We will certainly be stronger and absolutely more compassionate for the suffering of others. Whilst I have always been concerned with the suffering of others, it was much easier for me to do this with animals. Now I have actually lived experience of this withdrawal suffering, I can maybe be with, and be present to the suffering of others a bit more confidently or something. Not be the saviour but just be present with. I am not ready for that yet face to face as my nervous system is a bit too sensitive yet. 

 

And here's to coping with anything in the future that is for sure. I often think that, after enduring this I can endure most other things life will throw my way. 

 

I am doing ok and just waiting a bit longer to see where this wave goes. It seems to be easing a bit. 

 

Take care, Tracey 😊

Hi @Nemina

 

Thanks for the message. Well my complaint isn’t finished with The Priory yet, I can still escalate it to the next level if they don’t provide suitable answers to my questions. To be honest, the only reason I did it was to speak out about adverse reactions and how horrific they can be. It I can bring some awareness and stop it happening to one more person then it will be worth it. At least I’ve made their medical team aware of what happened. I just wish more people would speak up. Unfortunately, most of us are here on this site because we weren’t listened to by the medical world and feel they won’t be listened to in the future, I completely understand this. Others find it such a traumatic experience that they just want to put it behind them and try to forget about it once they’ve recovered, this is also very understandable. 

It was certainly a shock for me, I was 5 weeks away from running a marathon, had a well paid job which I enjoyed and life was good. A few tablets later and my life was turned upside down! I never imagined that this could happen, but it did, and here we are. 
 

I see that you live in Germany, a few years ago I spent around 8 months working in Lemwerder. On my weekends off I visited many of your cities. I actually found that the Germans were similar to the British in many ways. 

 

It looks like you’ve resumed your taper this month? You’re on such a small dose and so close! Just remember, slow is the new fast, I’m sure you’ll step off when you’re feeling ready and then you’ll be drug free. Hopefully you’ll arrive at zero with minimal symptoms. 
 

Take care,

 

Nick 

Edited February 9Feb 9 by NBJ71

Hi @Tracey

 

I agree, staying present is a very important skill for us to learn.  Whether you’re damaged and suffering like those with ADR’s or facing a long taper while trying to minimise symptoms, it’s a long journey. If you look to the future, ask questions which can’t be answered this journey can seem overwhelming. Questions such as… When will I fully recover? Will my symptoms get worse? How long will this taper take? Will I be ok at the end of this journey? That’s why trying to stay in the present is so important but understandably not always possible. When I was acutely ill I used to set myself tasks each day to occupy myself. Now that I’m functional and leaving the house it’s much easier to do. 
 

You’ll certainly be able to be present with others through their suffering in the future. If anyone can empathise with suffering then it’s us. You just need to make sure that you’re in a good place and your nervous system is relative stable first. You don’t have to be their savour, sometimes just to sit and listen is all that is needed. It can make a huge difference and give comfort when it’s needed the most.  When I was acutely ill, a friend of mine came to sit with me for an hour every day after she had finished work. She couldn’t help me or ease my symptoms, but she listened and that’s all I needed. She made a huge difference to my recovery. I also had another friend who FaceTimed me twice a day. Another one called me everyday and visited me twice a week, each time driving 70 miles. These 3 people were incredible and all they did was listen and encourage me. I’ll be forever grateful to them. 
 

Im so pleased to hear that you’re feeling a little brighter now, hopefully this wave is starting to pass for you. When you’re feeling ready you can make your next drop. Only 7mg left to go, you’ve done so well! Keep plodding on Tracey, you’ll get there eventually, brighter days are ahead for you. 🙂

 

Take care, 

 

Nick 

1 hour ago, NBJ71 said:

slow is the new fast

Hey...lol...I coined that...🤣🤣🤣....maybe I am not the OG...❤️🙏

@LostinCanada

 

You’re definitely the OG! I’m sorry, i confess….. I stole it…… I only use it when appropriate though. 🤣🤣❤️

Thanks Nick, 

 

Yes the two people that helped me played the same role. Very important just to sit, encourage, listen and be patient with. That is all I needed. 

 

Tracey 🙏

 

 

Hi thanks for your post on my thread, hoping that your new baseline has contributed throughout February for you? 
fingers crossed ♥️ 

Let me know how you are doing 🕊️ 

Hey @Its-me-Rosie

 

I’ve been in another wave for a short while now. Lots of sadness and negative thinking and my sleep is getting worse, I got less than 4 hours last night. It seems that in every wave, once my sleep reduces, my baseline symptoms get worse. 
Im ok though, I’m still functioning, walking daily and trying to keep myself busy. I’ve got some good people around me too who I can lean on during the tougher days so I can’t complain really. It’s been over 2 years since my initial ADR so experience tells me that this wave will end eventually. 
The rain is easing down here in Devon so it’s far nicer when I go for a walk, I take my friends dogs out regularly, we walk along the coastal parts, plenty of scenic  views and sea air! 
 

Anyway, that’s enough about me, how are you? 

Edited March 7Mar 7 by NBJ71

I just feel so sorry for you regarding the adverse reaction, it sucks. Just shows how powerful these meds are…

 

you had a good window so that is the real you!!! Another window will come and hopefully this is your final wave. 
 

im very average today, not my worst but defo not my best. 
my worst Symtoms remain as high anxiety and looping dark thoughts that make me feel unsafe, but I’ve had them now since March 2023 when I had my injury from compazine and they’ve come and gone. The biggest break I had was when I was on 1.5mg of the Prozac. I’d tapered down and stayed on this dose for a while and for about 3 months I felt better, 100%! And then I stupidly quit a year ago thinking I was healed and the rest is history. It all came back x’s 1000…

but it just shows to me that it’s my nervous system and when it levelled off I felt like me again. I just need to wait for it to level off again!!

 

the good news my end is I had a 3 week window in December, 2 weeks in January and then 3 weeks end of Feb to early March….

The waves in between I find to be as bad as ever…it feels like no healing has happened…but I do seem to be getting more windows. I hope they keep coming and I’m praying this is the year I heal!!

 

all the best to you, well done for keeping on our walking and having a routine. It will lift really soon 🙏 

for me a wave can just lift in to a window almost instantly and then I feel better, it’s so so weird! X x 

Hey @NBJ71, i’ve seen that you were in a wave? I hope it has eased? Thinking of you.

Hey @Nemina

 

Thank you, that’s very kind. Yes I’m in a bit of a wave again unfortunately. Less sleep, I get maybe 4 hours and then I’m wide awake. The lack of sleep always seems to agitate my baseline symptoms. I’m ok though, I’m still functional, keeping myself busy and very slowly moving in the right direction. My last big wave ended at around 9 months drug free and the waves since have been less intense and generally shorter so I’m hopefully this will pass soon. 
 

I see you’re getting close with your taper and you’ve resumed it again last month, how are you feeling? Hopefully when you jump off, you’ll have a nice smooth landing!