Hello everyone, here is a link to my intro topic on SA. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/32081-jcha247-new-to-sa-and-desperate-for-help-recovering-from-adverse-reaction-due-to-kindling-what-do-i-do/page/2/#comment-740254
 

To summarize my story, I was on Prozac for about two years before deciding to quit the medication. I had no idea the extreme risks that came with quitting cold turkey and could not get my script filled from my original psychiatrist and stopped the medication suddenly. The first month off the medication was fine until I was hit with pretty severe mental symptoms. At this point, I was not experiencing any physical or neurological issues, but felt like the mental symptoms would not let up and decided to reinstate the medication. I originally reinstated 10 mg and held this dose for two weeks until bumping myself up to 20 mg. Throughout this month of reinstatement, I progressively got worse and worse until I had a severe adverse reaction that forced me to quit the medication again.
 

I am now 14 months into withdrawal and there has been incredible amounts of suffering to say the least. I started this journey with over 30 symptoms and have improved, but it has been very non-linear and hard to see steady progress overtime. I was having steady windows and waves over the past few months, but right after I hit the 12 month mark, I went into a wave that felt like acute and I have felt continuously poor ever since. My symptoms include pounding and irregular heartbeat, intolerance to exercise, insomnia, where I either can’t get to sleep or can’t stay asleep, intense anxiety when I wake up that last majority of the day, it feels like cortisol or adrenaline. My nervous system feels incredibly sensitive and fragile. I also deal with different types of paresthesia. Sometimes my skin will burn, sometimes it will tingle, and sometimes it will feel like I have cold water running all over my body. I also sometimes have a “throbbing” sensation throughout my nervous system. My body has issues with regulating heat. I also deal with waves of depression or flatness, and feel very disconnected from myself and real life. 
 

I am not quite sure what to do, some days I struggle to feel like I have the strength to survive this. Although I am functional and able to do some things in my regular life, my symptoms feel very disabling and it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. After seeing many stories of people suffering for years, I am at a point where I am considering a reinstatement of a small dose, but based on my adverse reaction, I am scared of it being paradoxical. I know what I’m experiencing is a true injury to the nervous system, which I’m not sure medication would be of assistance with. I am only 26 and struggle with grieving my life before this entire mess. Any insight or tips is very appreciated.
 

May we all heal!

Hi JCHA258

 

Welcome to the forum!

 

Thank you for your first post and topic on here.

 

And thanks also for linking through to your SA thread.

 

Im sorry to hear of your difficult time with Prozac.

 

As you know your original CT was hard on your nervous system and then unfortunately you reinstated and up dosed at far too higher doses and felt you had to discontinue due to an ADR. This must have been rough for you and again Im truly sorry for what you have been through.

 

It was very promising to hear of the improvements you experienced over the first few months.

However you've hit a big wave a year out and that must feel very frustrating and scary all at once.

This certainly isn't unusual and you are not alone. We have a few members on here a year off and feeling they are worse. We don't know why unfortunately it's just part of the healing profile of getting over an injury like this.

 

Whether to reinstate isn't something anyone can tell you should do. But with being so far out now and having suffered such a bad ADR I would find it hard to say I would do this in your shoes. I also agree that at this point, like many, you are suffering more from an injury than typical WD itself.

 

Our bodies are designed to heal. And yours is too, you are no different. What we see is that (sometimes very slowly) folk get progressively better in the typical non-linear windows and waves patterns that I know you are familiar with.

 

Please don't loose hope you have the strength to work your way through this. I know you do.

 

What ever you decide to do we are all here for you.

 

Chippy

Thank you for joining.

 

7 hours ago, Chippy said:

It was very promising to hear of the improvements you experienced over the first few months.

However you've hit a big wave a year out and that must feel very frustrating and scary all at once.

This certainly isn't unusual and you are not alone. We have a few members on here a year off and feeling they are worse. We don't know why unfortunately it's just part of the healing profile of getting over an injury like this.

 

Experiencing a significant increase in symptom severity around the 1 year mark does seem to happen to a number of people.

 

7 hours ago, Chippy said:

Whether to reinstate isn't something anyone can tell you should do. But with being so far out now and having suffered such a bad ADR I would find it hard to say I would do this in your shoes. I also agree that at this point, like many, you are suffering more from an injury than typical WD itself.

 

I'd just add to this and say that you have also had windows, have improved on average and can sometimes be somewhat functional, which suggests that your body is slowly work its way back to homeostasis. I understand that it is very difficult and that you're suffering despite this.

 

Reinstatement of a low dose may help, but it may also harm, and even if it does help, it may well not help particularly quickly. Others may feel differently, but personally I wouldn't reinstate if I were in your situation on the basis of all of this. I feel that it would be best to give it more time, and hope that this passes and you begin having windows again.

Thank you @Chippy @Luke for your responses!

 

That’s what’s so tricky about reinstatement, as we all know, it can help or it can go severely wrong. I’m at the point in my recovery where I can’t afford getting worse in case it wasn’t successful. It also scares me trying to think of making the solution at my home and trying to figure out which dose to stabilize on. I feel like if one thing went wrong. I would’ve abort the entire mission leaving me back at Square one. 

 

Like we all can relate, I just wish I knew how long this would last! Then I could mentally prepare and do what I needed to do in the meantime until I get there. I think it’s just this weird feeling of being stuck in a jail cell for months on end, not knowing what symptom you’re going to face, how much sleep you’re going to get, or how you’re going to do with normal life stressors that is just so difficult throughout this process.

 

I’ve really been trying to manage the anger and grief I feel towards this entire process. It’s not fair how much this has robbed from us! I’m trying to focus on the improvements and just remind myself that this is temporary. We just all desperately want our lives back. 
 

if you guys have any insights to the pros and cons of reinstatement at this state, I am very interested to hear. I will probably stay the course, but the idea of getting some relief is nice.

53 minutes ago, JCHA258 said:

if you guys have any insights to the pros and cons of reinstatement at this state, I am very interested to hear. I will probably stay the course, but the idea of getting some relief is nice.

 

I tried to outline them above.

 

To be as clear as I can, in my opinion it is not a good idea at this stage:

• You've had windows
• You've improved somewhat over time
• You've been off for a year and there is good potential to heal moving forwards in time
• You've reacted adversely to a past attempt to reinstate and it could make things worse
• It will then be a considerably longer time until you're drug free and healed entirely (although if it brings relief that is balanced against this)

 

The only pro I can see is it MIGHT improve your symptoms somewhat, but then further tapering and/or taking the medication in general may well still come with symptoms and side effects.

 

Again this is only my opinion, but I don't think it's worth it, personally.

Hello @JCHA258, just wanted to say hi. 😊 So sorry that you are suffering. 26 is so young, I would imagine wd  is even harder than in my age (end 50ies). I hope you will heal fast! Younger people have better neuroplasticity, so let’s not give up hope ❤️‍🩹

 

I’m one of those people who got worse after about a year. I thought this might be interesting for you. We both seem to be on a similar timeline.

I started tapering in October 24. 

then:

Terrible November, very bad December.   month 3 better, but still very bad, first windows. Month 4 unto 9 bad, windows and waves, still lots of anxiety, pain, dread, fatigue, nausea but many better days. But improvement ! . Month 10 best month so far.  Well, 11,12 worse again, symptoms ramping up, it seems . Holding on 0,34 mg since month 12 (October 25) and feeling worse till now after 3,5 month holding  (symptoms intensified and new symptoms like a sound in my head and dizziness). Till end of January 2026/ month15 very unstable, short waves and short dirty windows, very bad month. 
 

I have taken ADs for 10 years, but the pattern still has similarities to that of others with an adverse reaction, I think.

 

Hope you will feel better soon! 
by the way, I agree with @Luke and @Chippy, wouldn’t reinstate. The end of the wave will come!

@Luke thank you for your insight. I agree that the risk is just not worth it.

 

@Nemina so sorry to hear you’re enduring this too! It’s so crazy how the pattern is so similar regardless of if you’re on the drug or not, that’s why I truly view this as a type of injury that just has to heal with time and consistency. It does not make the suffering any easier. It’s so crazy the effect these drugs can have on our brains and bodies, but I truly do believe that with time we can all get there. I just find it so confusing that you can start to feel better and seem like you’re on an upward trajectory just to get thrown back into hell! I feel like that’s what makes this journey so hard and can make you feel like there’s something else going on.

 

I’m also in a phase where I’ve been having very unstable short waves and small dirty windows. There hasn’t been much relief which has been so frustrating since I was getting clear longer windows before! I’ve read success stories where people would randomly fall into these long, weird waves and plateau for a while. But some of them came out of it healed or feeling much better so I’m hoping that’s the case!

 

sending you love during your recovery journey. This is all so hard!

On 2/1/2026 at 4:29 AM, JCHA258 said:

I am only 26 and struggle with grieving my life before this entire mess

Hello my beautiful friend @JCHA258! I am so glad you are now on this site!💖 This upsets me too, that at this young age you are going through this awful CT from this horrid drug. I truly believe you will get through this, you've had some amazing windows, and are just sucked into the 1 year vortex alot of us in CT have seemed to be hit hard with lately.  Seems loosely around the year mark, or months 11-16. Not to undermine this,or how hard it is, because frankly it does 🤬(insert your favorite unprintable expletive here!) I believe God will heal you, and an amazing life awaits you better than you could ever imagine!  💛🦋💛

15 hours ago, JCHA258 said:

Like we all can relate, I just wish I knew how long this would last! Then I could mentally prepare and do what I needed to do in the meantime until I get there. I think it’s just this weird feeling of being stuck in a jail cell for months on end, not knowing what symptom you’re going to face, how much sleep you’re going to get, or how you’re going to do with normal life stressors that is just so difficult throughout this process.

I know timelines are hard. Best to just try to not think about it. Focus on the day.

 

Have you read this?

Acceptance is key 

 

Also this: 🙂 

Sleep in WD

 

You are not alone. Im sorry you've had to experience all this and at such a young. It really isnt fair. But as @HopePerseveres2.0 says your age is your advantage too. Your body will bounce back quicker then us geriatric types. 🙂 

 

Time is the healer. I wish I knew more of how much time. But I hope on here you will learn more coping skills and gain the support you need to help you through this tricky period. We are all here for you.

 

Chippy

Hello @JCHA258

 

I also think reinstatement isn't the best idea. It might make things worse and prolong the whole process. I wouldn't risk it.

I am sorry you feel things have gotten worse after 1 year mark, but as the others have said, I've seen it's common for other people as well. And among those other people are the success stories.

I've seen it in many success stories - they felt they've been making progress then suddenly felt worse again/hit by severe waves. And for some it was one of the last waves after which they noticed great improvements. So, I would take that as a possibility as well.

 

I know it's hard but keep going. Healing might be around the corner.

17 hours ago, JCHA258 said:

Thank you @Chippy @Luke for your responses!

 

That’s what’s so tricky about reinstatement, as we all know, it can help or it can go severely wrong. I’m at the point in my recovery where I can’t afford getting worse in case it wasn’t successful. It also scares me trying to think of making the solution at my home and trying to figure out which dose to stabilize on. I feel like if one thing went wrong. I would’ve abort the entire mission leaving me back at Square one. 

 

Like we all can relate, I just wish I knew how long this would last! Then I could mentally prepare and do what I needed to do in the meantime until I get there. I think it’s just this weird feeling of being stuck in a jail cell for months on end, not knowing what symptom you’re going to face, how much sleep you’re going to get, or how you’re going to do with normal life stressors that is just so difficult throughout this process.

 

I’ve really been trying to manage the anger and grief I feel towards this entire process. It’s not fair how much this has robbed from us! I’m trying to focus on the improvements and just remind myself that this is temporary. We just all desperately want our lives back. 
 

if you guys have any insights to the pros and cons of reinstatement at this state, I am very interested to hear. I will probably stay the course, but the idea of getting some relief is nice.

Hi @JCHA258 just popped in to say welcome, good that you're here.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through and the long wave you're already experiencing, it's awful, the suffering these drugs cause is truly indescribable.

I have to commend you for coming this far, it's huge and proves the strength you have, although you may not feel it now.

You already know how this non-linear nasty process works and though you're having extremely hard time now every second that goes by your 1 step closer to full recovery.

You'll of course decide what suits you best, but as @Luke and @Chippy said I'd let the system do its thing and not reinstate especially in light of your previous experience.

I know how bad it is, my heart goes out to you, but even if long it's temporary and will fade as time goes on.

Stay strong, wishing you brighter days very soon.

Edited February 3Feb 3 by Fullhealing

@Chippy @HopePerseveres2.0 @Fullhealing @Marina

 

Thank you friends for your support and kind words ❤️ very grateful to know I’m not alone!

 

I’m really trying to focus on trusting my bodies natural ability to heal. As you all probably have, I have read many success stories of people healing from even the worst scenarios so I know it’s possible. It’s just hard to feel like your body is against you, but the symptoms and pain are all a part of the healing process. It’s just so frustrating being prescribed “safe drugs” that completely turn your health and way of life upside down. It’s so unfair and extremely grievous.
 

I’m happy to report that I had a pretty great window yesterday! Trying to remind myself that will be my future. When the good days come, you never want to let them go. I also have to remind myself that if I can have good days, then it’s possible for me to heal, even if the journey may be longer than I like.
 

I’m here to support you all as well! We will get there, just one day at a time. I am trying to find my journey entry from last summer when I was around six months and was dealing with an extremely long list of symptoms. I don’t know how I survived it. I feel like it will be good to report which ones have left that I never thought I would never get over, there were so many at one point.

 

Like I’ve mentioned before I am functional. I am able to get in my exercise, socialize, and fake living my life is normally as possible. It took me some time to get here. This personally has been beneficial for my recovery as it gives me a way to distract from the pain.

 

I’ll try and update here when I can! Wishing you all nothing but healing

@JCHA258 If you find that journal entry, please share it. I'm only in month 5 and would love some encouragment that things might ease up in the upcoming months. 🙏🏻

Hi @JCHA258

im sorry you had such a hard wave… @HopePerseveres2.0 told me about your earlier good windows and I too had a great window month 10…I had 3 weeks and honestly thought I was nearly healed and was sort of ‘done’.

 

it suck’s to be wrong!!! We have similar ish Symtoms. It’s AWFUL to be plunged back in to it! I like this post by Matt Samet about his setback…I find it describes the pain accurately but also there’s hope there at the end! 
 

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/10/setbacks/

 

i too am functional, I look after my kids, take them to school, can laugh and chat at the school drop off and can go shopping etc.  I can even go out for meals and to the cinema on a better day.  I am grateful for that and try to practice gratitude..but in a wave..I do all of this with the most intense chemical anxiety. I am jittery, I can’t focus, i feel like I’m about to burst out of my skin and I can’t sit still so being busy helps….i then when I have this feeling get the most awful dark looping SI thoughts and they feel SO real and scary. I think it’s Akithasia although I’m not sure, but I get inner burning. Then it’s gone and I feel like a new woman and life goes on 🤷🏼‍♀️ what causes it im

just not sure. 

 

i hope you are now in a window that’s continuing 🙏 

 

I have a few questions!!

- do you think anything causes your waves or just random? Sometimes I wonder if doing too much in my windows can cause mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

- do you do any healing practices you think that help?

 

@Luke it’s interesting to know that you feel people often have a wave around the 12 months mark. I saw on SA there’s a post about the 10 month wave which I didn’t experience. Month 9 was awful and now month 11. Month 10 was my best month!

 

where you are now is a decent period of time. I see tons of people saying that they improved a lot in that second year. It could be days away, or minutes even!

 

Hoping my wave lifts I go on holiday on Tuesday. I think the sun may help me, England has been wet and cold and rainy for weeks now. I haven’t seen the sunshine for months. I don’t expect it to cure me but I’m hoping for a tiny boost 🙏 I know my vitamin d levels are low and that can cause depression and anxiety. Of course I don’t expect sun to be a golden bullet, but bumping up my vitamin d may help the intensity of the anxiety 🙏 

 

god bless you and all of us going through this.

Rosie x X ☀️ 🕊️ 🙏 

Quote

 

Hi  

@JCHA258... I wanted to give you all my support because I am soon 30 years old and I feel like I no longer have a future following all this. What an injustice for young people like us to face this... We have our life to do by being happy 😞 you're not alone.

On 2/4/2026 at 7:14 PM, JCHA258 said:

@Chippy @HopePerseveres2.0 @Fullhealing @Marina

 

Thank you friends for your support and kind words ❤️ very grateful to know I’m not alone!

 

I’m really trying to focus on trusting my bodies natural ability to heal. As you all probably have, I have read many success stories of people healing from even the worst scenarios so I know it’s possible. It’s just hard to feel like your body is against you, but the symptoms and pain are all a part of the healing process. It’s just so frustrating being prescribed “safe drugs” that completely turn your health and way of life upside down. It’s so unfair and extremely grievous.
 

I’m happy to report that I had a pretty great window yesterday! Trying to remind myself that will be my future. When the good days come, you never want to let them go. I also have to remind myself that if I can have good days, then it’s possible for me to heal, even if the journey may be longer than I like.
 

I’m here to support you all as well! We will get there, just one day at a time. I am trying to find my journey entry from last summer when I was around six months and was dealing with an extremely long list of symptoms. I don’t know how I survived it. I feel like it will be good to report which ones have left that I never thought I would never get over, there were so many at one point.

 

Like I’ve mentioned before I am functional. I am able to get in my exercise, socialize, and fake living my life is normally as possible. It took me some time to get here. This personally has been beneficial for my recovery as it gives me a way to distract from the pain.

 

I’ll try and update here when I can! Wishing you all nothing but healing

Hey @JCHA258 just checking on you, hopefully you are still doing well from this update and maintaining your impressive positive outlook, wouldn't mind a few doses of that to be honest.

Please keep us posted when you can.

Edited February 8Feb 8 by Fullhealing

@Its-me-Rosie wow we are so similar! I also had a 3/4 week dirty window run where I thought I was over WD just to get thrown back into hell. It’s so unfair but unfortunately on par for this kind of injury. I’m as functional as you are but also deal with the weird feeling of being in extremely disconnected to other people at times in social settings. Sometimes I look at them and can’t understand how they’re so “normal” if that makes sense lol

 

To answer your questions I think my waves are random. I’ve tried to pinpoint reasons but I haven’t found many. There have been certain times I pushed it too much with travel and it sent me to a wave but the trade off was worth it to me. I try and view it as exercising a muscle, after a workout I might be so sore after but it’s only making me stronger! I’m not sure if this logic is correct but I keep telling myself it is haha. I’ve also been ramped up after eating certain foods or a bad night of sleep but it all passes. I really do think this is a time thing so I just keep existing until the waves stop one day.

 

The only healing practice that has helped me is prayer and time reading my Bible. I’m personally a Christian and it has been very beneficial for my recovery and faith throughout the journey.

 

It’s so tough having faith throughout such a horrific experience but I keep reminding myself our bodies were created and designed to heal and that’s exactly what it’s doing. Even if it’s slow! Here to support you, hope you’re feeling better!

@poulette38 I’m so sorry you’re going through this at such a young age. It’s so unfair and the grief is real.

 

@Fullhealing I had a 5 day dirty window and it was great! Now unfortunately back to feeling flat/down, not sleeping the best, dealing with some heart palpitations and weird nerve sensations all over. Reminding myself it will past and distracting myself as much as I can.

@JCHA258Welcome to the community! And thanks for sharing your story.  

 

I was 37 when I started meds and regret it every day. 26 years of my life,  stolen by medical malpractice.  

 

If I could do it over, I would have stayed off the first time. But I didn't know what I know now. I'm 62 now and still fit, save the medication symptoms.  I look forward to a new life with Y'all's help!

@mars sorry to hear you’ve had trouble with these pills too. I think that’s a part of why I didn’t reinstate, since I had such a horrible experience early on I’ve realized I’d rather spend however much time I need to heal from this and have the rest of my life medication free instead of being chained to big pharma. Hardest thing I’ve ever done though and I’m sure you can relate. Sending you healing on your journey!

Thanks @JCHA258

i can’t work out my waves but for me it’s like a switch is flicked, it feels like I’m stuck in fight or flight and then I become unstuck and have a window…then my body remembers th WD and I’m back in it again!

 

I never know how the days going to be, it can tip in to panic on a bad day.  I just keep reminding myself that before Xmas I had a 3 week window and I also had a 2 week window early January.  Just experiencing a hard wave currently. It was 18 days long then I had one full days window…a great day!!! Then back in it sadly.

I use prayer too, I’ve started trying EFT tapping and some yoga stuff that is meant to help relax but I don’t know if it works.

I’m debating trying biurnal beats they are meant to help relax you too but I’m not too sure if to try or not.

 

im at a year mark in 2 days time! Currently away but up at 4am with jet lag.

Have some good moments during the day and then bam 💥 I’m back in it, very odd, it’s literally like a rollercoaster in my body and has been now for about 4 months.  Before that it was very clear windows and waves, now it’s just more like a constant daily rollercoaster it’s very Strange!!

sending love and light and hope

rosie xxx  

@JCHA258 feel like we have a lot of similarities. I was also on ssris for 2.5 years and came off Prozac. I am off nearly a full year and been having one of worst times now in my 12th month feeling like I’m going backwards, something else is wrong with me or I’m going crazy. How are you doing now? Better I hope? I’m also young - 23. Very hard trying to survive this while feeling like my best years are slipping away from me.

Edited July 17Jul 17 by Wildgoose

Hey @Wildgoose sorry to hear you’re struggling with this. It can be so hard dealing with so much pain during our young and healthy years. I’m right there with you!

If it makes you feel any better, I had some of my worst waves right around the one year mark. It genuinely felt like I was getting rapidly worse out of nowhere but looking back on it it was genuinely just a severe wave that my brain needed to do for some deeper healing. Throughout this entire process, I’ve had some random bad waves that kind of came out of nowhere that I just had to grip my teeth and ride out. I know it’s so much easier said than done but try to accept it as much as possible and don’t get too caught up in wondering why it’s happening. I’ve had some healing buddies that all had pretty bad waves around that one year mark too, so it’s common!

I can confidently say I am doing better than when I wrote my last post. I still have symptoms and some wave days, but I’ve been coping better. I definitely know there is still more healing to be done and I can’t rush this process so I’m trying to take it day by day and hold onto the hope of those who have healed.

You will get there too! I know it might feel like time is being stolen from you, but you will heal from this and have your whole life ahead of you which is exciting because you are so young. Wishing you the best on your healing journey!

hey thanks for the kind words of encouragement. We have a similar timeline which is interesting. Hope we both heal from this and move on with our lives.