Acceptance is key

 

Withdrawal can be very challenging and is often described as the hardest thing we will have to deal with in our lives’. At times it could certainly be described as a chronic condition.

The broad nature of the symptoms, along with the severity and unpredictability of the waves and windows, make managing WD symptoms very difficult.

 

For some, symptoms will be mild and brief and go in a few days or weeks, for others, symptoms can linger on for considerably longer, this is called protracted withdrawal.

 

There are many things someone suffering with protracted withdrawal can do to help themselves during this process, but possibly the most important of these to master is the art of Acceptance.

 

 

Period of mourning

 

It may sound a bit extreme, but those of us who have to face this often-difficult journey must first go through the stage of mourning. It can be hard to believe what has happened to us. Often those close won’t understand and unfortunately the medical profession still add to the distress by not recognising iatrogenic harm when it’s clear and in front of them, instead often misdiagnosing symptoms for relapse.

We can then feel a series of emotions such as anger and fear; this is all part of the period of mourning. Our minds adjusting to the situation at hand, it’s completely understandable and normal for this to happen. The emotions we experience during this phase can be unhelpful, sucking away the energy needed to heal and adding to the anxiety our symptoms are already providing us, feeding the problem and not solving it.

 

 

Acceptance

 

Acceptance is in itself a skill that’s often talked about within the chronic pain community. The more you fight the pain, get mad at it, the more difficult it is the cope with it. However, if we can learn to accept our symptoms, accept our current situation, it won’t remove them, but it will likely stop feeding the problem and making it worse. It’s completely counter initiative and takes some continued practice.

Acceptance puts your mind in a calmer state. It’s not liking the discomfort or wanting it, just simply accepting it and accepting there is nothing you can do about, sitting with the discomfort, just letting it be there. Understand that tomorrow might be a different day and all this will pass eventually.

 

 

Growth

 

There is a great little YouTube video here from the Royal Holloway Psychology Channel:

Pain and Me: Tamar Pincus talks about chronic pain, acceptance and commitment

 

In it the presenter talks about how acceptance puts us in a place to take on thoughts of other things in our lives rather than just our suffering. This not only helps with distraction (another very key coping mechanism) but encourages us to focus on things that are important to us, that add to our lives’ rather than subtract from them. Family, friends, hobbies and interests, whatever we are able to manage at the time. From here it is possible (I have seen it in myself) to grow as a person despite the discomfort we face.

https://youtu.be/ZlIUWXk2G6c?si=nIregL_498ZHrjTr
 

This is a potentially helpful video on Angie Peacock's channel for anyone interested in working on acceptance.

 

There is discussion of mind-body syndrome, or TMS, which seems to be scientifically controversial, but that doesn’t really matter as they are clear that psych med withdrawal / drug injury is not a mind-body syndrome. It can’t be healed using mind-body techniques. However, the radical acceptance part of the mind-body approach can potentially support the healing by allowing us to reduce the stress on our nervous system.

 

They acknowledge that it isn’t possible to practise this while in the worst of severe withdrawal. It is for a bit later on. The guest, Whitney, has been through severe withdrawal so understands this.

 

I’m very interested because it does make logical sense to me, that my futile mental resistance to my reality is not exactly helping me. Acceptance feels like it would bring relief from that at least, though easier said than done.
 

Acceptance seems to come up a lot recently. It’s a really important skill to learn. It’s not easy and definitely not a destination rather a constant journey. 
 

For anyone struggling with this concept this video might be worth a watch. 
 

Why Acceptance Feels Impossible

Another good video here;

Why acceptance feels impossible - In the media

Something I struggle with the most. My whole life I've equaled acceptance with defeat. I'm working on it...

16 minutes ago, Marina said:

Something I struggle with the most. My whole life I've equaled acceptance with defeat. I'm working on it...

It’s so hard @Marina.  I think it’s in our culture. We have to have everything now. We must be solution focused. Don’t be a victim. Everything is a race. Acceptance for me is something that brings me peace when I get it right. Calm. Change what you can accept the rest. Constant practice. 

Very true, @Chippy.

And exactly that way we function in this world made me take the pills for the first time.

I did experience some acceptance these last few days, but I am sure I will struggle with it again soon. 🙈

1 minute ago, Marina said:

Very true, @Chippy.

And exactly that way we function in this world made me take the pills for the first time.

I did experience some acceptance these last few days, but I am sure I will struggle with it again soon. 🙈

I 100% agree @Marina 

We all struggle with it.

I think the way to deal with this is to forgive ourselves when we slip. I think we expect to be perfect. Accepting we are not even about acceptance is key here also! 😂 But I mean it! I think it is!

@Chippy Ooof, forgiveness! Don't ask me about that. I am even worse when it comes to forgiving myself. 🙈😅 I don't even blame the doctors or anyone else who played the role in this situation (me taking the meds). I blame myself completely and I don't know how and when I'll forgive myself. 🙊

Just now, Marina said:

@Chippy Ooof, forgiveness! Don't ask me about that. I am even worse when it comes to forgiving myself. 🙈😅 I don't even blame the doctors or anyone else who played the role in this situation (me taking the meds). I blame myself completely and I don't know how and when I'll forgive myself. 🙊

Oh no! @Marina definitely don’t blame yourself! We all deserve forgiveness! You too! Xxxx

Thank you, Chippy. ❤️🥺 It's one of my main emotional struggles during this process. I hope at one point I'll stop being so hard on myself.

4 minutes ago, Marina said:

Thank you, Chippy. ❤️🥺 It's one of my main emotional struggles during this process. I hope at one point I'll stop being so hard on myself.

Rest easy @Marina youre a lovely soul be kind to yourself. Xxx

🥺❤️ Thank you, @Chippy

On 3/4/2026 at 6:44 PM, Marina said:

@Chippy Ooof, forgiveness! Don't ask me about that. I am even worse when it comes to forgiving myself. 🙈😅 I don't even blame the doctors or anyone else who played the role in this situation (me taking the meds). I blame myself completely and I don't know how and when I'll forgive myself. 🙊

 

Hi Marina, when I read your comment it resonated so much with me but I also wanted to jump in with my two penn'orth  🙂.  I've been though the same thing, totally beating myself up for taking the drug in the first place.  Then I remembered where I was at that time in my life and taking Citalopram seemed the obvious course of action.  The only course of action.  It was what it was. 

 

I think blaming ourselves is part of the symptom package and although I can gravitate back into those doldrums; when I recognise it I can now stop myself, give myself a good old talking to and stop the conversations in my head.  Blame serves no purpose, instead I wonder if you can direct your energies into practicing some loving kindness. Be kind to yourself, cut yourself some slack and keep telling yourself you deserve to be well and happy.  xx

Also like this one a lot

 

Stop Trying to Heal | Joe Cusamano

Thank you so much @Mamgu ❤️

 

It's a tough one for me, for sure. It's not just one thing I blame myself for. Maybe I'd even be ready to cut myself some slack for the inital medication. But I made so many mistakes up to this point... Whenever I get into a meltdown I just replay all the points in my timeline where I made the first mistake, then the second, then the third and so on...

 

But I would say I'm not as harsh on myself lately as I've been in the first few months of WD. I am getting to the point of some mild acceptance. It's been 6 months and, I guess, I'm starting to get used to the fact that:

- this happened, there's no turning back

- I made mistakes but I wasn't fully informed; I tried to do the best I could in a given moment

- I have been harmed but I will heal with time

- I now know a lot more than ever before and I am determined not to harm myself further

 

It's a struggle. But I am working on it.

Just now, Marina said:

Thank you so much @Mamgu ❤️

 

It's a tough one for me, for sure. It's not just one thing I blame myself for. Maybe I'd even be ready to cut myself some slack for the inital medication. But I made so many mistakes up to this point... Whenever I get into a meltdown I just replay all the points in my timeline where I made the first mistake, then the second, then the third and so on...

 

But I would say I'm not as harsh on myself lately as I've been in the first few months of WD. I am getting to the point of some mild acceptance. It's been 6 months and, I guess, I'm starting to get used to the fact that:

- this happened, there's no turning back

- I made mistakes but I wasn't fully informed; I tried to do the best I could in a given moment

- I have been harmed but I will heal with time

- I now know a lot more than ever before and I am determined not to harm myself further

 

It's a struggle. But I am working on it.

That is a great post @Marina we are all just a work in progress at the end of the day. I think you are doing great! 🙂 

Thank you @Chippy. 😊 I am trying.

14 hours ago, Mamgu said:

I think blaming ourselves is part of the symptom package and although I can gravitate back into those doldrums; when I recognise it I can now stop myself, give myself a good old talking to and stop the conversations in my head.  Blame serves no purpose, instead I wonder if you can direct your energies into practicing some loving kindness. Be kind to yourself, cut yourself some slack and keep telling yourself you deserve to be well and happy.  xx

I agree @Mamgu and certainly all this feeds into our ruminating minds which I think is a VERY common WD symptom!

8 hours ago, Marina said:

Thank you so much @Mamgu ❤️

 

It's a tough one for me, for sure. It's not just one thing I blame myself for. Maybe I'd even be ready to cut myself some slack for the inital medication. But I made so many mistakes up to this point... Whenever I get into a meltdown I just replay all the points in my timeline where I made the first mistake, then the second, then the third and so on...

 

But I would say I'm not as harsh on myself lately as I've been in the first few months of WD. I am getting to the point of some mild acceptance. It's been 6 months and, I guess, I'm starting to get used to the fact that:

- this happened, there's no turning back

- I made mistakes but I wasn't fully informed; I tried to do the best I could in a given moment

- I have been harmed but I will heal with time

- I now know a lot more than ever before and I am determined not to harm myself further

 

It's a struggle. But I am working on it.

 

 

Great to hear you're not as tough on yourself as you used to be, this is great progress ❤️.  

 

So difficult to maintain but practice makes perfect, so they say!  Not sure if you've considered CBT, it's not for everyone and the timing has to be right but I found it really helped me reframe my mindset.

 

 

8 hours ago, Chippy said:

I agree @Mamgu and certainly all this feeds into our ruminating minds which I think is a VERY common WD symptom!

 

Yes, you're quite right @Chippy!  WD ramps this up, or even instigates it.  I recall reading a post by Altostrata over on SA where she constantly beat herself up and replayed moments where she made wrong choices, was embarrassed, beat herself up.... The daft thing is, everyone makes wrong choices and says the wrong things throughout their lives; we're only human we're not robots.  It's healthy to laugh at ourselves but in the midst of WD we seem to lose our perspective and focus on the negative.  Then we give it credence that it doesn't deserve and it becomes A Thing.  Let's say goodbye to all that and try to accept we're just being us, our perfectly imperfect us 🙂

 

 

 

9 hours ago, Mamgu said:

Let's say goodbye to all that and try to accept we're just being us, our perfectly imperfect us 🙂

100%. I has this for a while. I’m happy to say it’s gone for me now. I feel peace again.  😀

Thanks this is a great video.

I’m working hard on this but in a wave how can I accept dark thoughts and intense anxiety?

bleugh

but this video is fab and I appreciate this thread x

4 minutes ago, Its-me-Rosie said:

Thanks this is a great video.

I’m working hard on this but in a wave how can I accept dark thoughts and intense anxiety?

bleugh

but this video is fab and I appreciate this thread x

Thanks Rosie

 

Sometimes it's just accepting we can't accept yet and thats ok!

Moved this to the coping skills forum, thought it be good there. 🧐

Great conversation, thank you 🙏

 

I discovered the self compassion/loving kindness teachers shortly after going into pwd. It is so comforting and helpful, I will practise it for the rest of my life. Had I stayed on ad's I wouldn't have done this work as the feelings were numbed. 

 

@Its-me-Rosie the intense anxiety/panic is by far the hardest one for me to accept. 

 

I think in part it is because i worry it will render me non functional unable to look after my pets and myself. Some old memories from 3 years ago. 

 

 

Edited March 7Mar 7 by Tracey