I come fra SA, and I am grateful, that I am able to continuing having a fellowship and support here in AR. 
I hope that the huge and long wave I am in will subside, and that I’ll be able to be of assistance and supportive as well. 
 

I’ll fill out my profile and signature, when my brain will coperate.

 

Thank you for wanting to help us still suffering. It is really much appreciated. I can’t thank you enough. 

 

Here is my thread on SA:

 

My Introduction to AR:

 

My introduction

I am 67 years old, living with my husband in a small house close the sea. Most of my carrier I worked as a RN in intensive care units and in an accident and emergency department. I am now retired.

 

I have been on several AD since 1997 due to GAD. (See my signature)

 

At times I was living I pure hell and horror with no rest, having to be active in order to just keep my self together. I was suicidal many times, despite or because of all the meds I was on, but I managed to pull trough, by kayaking, being in the nature and being amongst friends, and keeping active all the time not by wanting to but by need.

 

I am grateful, that I have a psychiatrist, who are very caring and understand the need of slow tapering, and know I don´t have a relapse, but WD.

 

2024-2025 I tapered Oxapax every 4-6 weeks to from 7,5mg x3 Oxapax 0,11mg.

It went well with just a few minor physical WD and short periods with up-flaring anxiety and poor sleep. 

2025 I hit the wall big time and crashed totally. Hell and horror broke loose. We up dosed Oxapax 7,5mg x3. And I was up dosed in Sertraline to 100mg. I was desperate. At times I didn`t trust myself not to act on the impulse to just end it all, so I would have said yes to almost anything suggested, so it was with my full consent.

 

Anxiety kept on being horrendous. We didn`t know if the anxiety was due to the high up-dose Sertraline or to the too rapid tapering Oxapax. The 2-4 hours effect of Oxapax was what made it bearable. We decreased Sertraline slightly to see if that would make a difference. 

Up dosing Sertraline was a huge mistake, as we now suspected that up-dosing Sertraline just added to the WD I was in. 

Up dosing Oxapax was a huge up dosing as well, although we tried to just up dosing a little at the time. 

I was in an acute state, and I wasn`t able to wait it out, so this was we did. I was so close to the finish line tapering Oxapax. But this was then, and now is now. 

 

The reason I crashed was probably due to several things. 

1.     In the end of August 2025 I miscalculated the dose of Oxapax. I was on 1,875mg = 1,875ml. I thought: ”Well now I am under 2 ml. Now I can swap to 1 ml syringe”. And so I did. I pulled up 0,1875ml=0,1875mg. I didn`t notice it until a couple of days later. And then I thought: ”Well as it hasn`t affected the taper; I might as well continue tapering from this dose”.

2.     I forgot to take the Sertraline at night, as I fell asleep on the sofa. This happened once a week during 3 weeks. The first time I thought, I better wait on till the next dose. And I did, but I felt the missing dose during the day. The next two times I hurried to take the Sertraline, as soon as I woke in the morning, and then postponed the morning meds an hour or so.

3.     As I hadn´t taken a longer hold in 2025 while tapering the Oxapax, it might also be the accumulated WD, that emerged.

It is now 6 months after I crashed, and I started to feel some improvement. I am still in WD with huge waves with crying spells, anxiety and the constantly need of being active. But I have short windows, where I feel almost like myself. I want to taper Sertraline back to 75mg (Even though there is no guarantee this will help). I also want to taper Lyrica and Oxapax slowly slowly with long holds.

 

It will take many years, and I am not sure, I live long enough to taper of completely as I tolerate only very small reductions. But at least I will try to get down on some more manageable doses, in case I should be hospitalised due to other illness or end up having to move to a nursing home, if I get too old to manage on my own. No living soul will respect the tiny doses I am on like for instance Lyrica capsul 25mg + Lyrica liquid 0,16ml = 28,2mg.

Hi Haa

 

Welcome to the forum you are very welcome here! 🙂

 

Thanks for starting your topic this is your new home base, where you can, when you are ready, document your journey and get support from other members.

 

11 minutes ago, Haa said:

I hope that the huge and long wave I am in will subside, and that I’ll be able to be of assistance and supportive as well. 
 

Im sure you will be! I hope your wave eases soon.

 

11 minutes ago, Haa said:

I’ll fill out my profile and signature, when my brain will coperate.

Just when you can. Let us know a little about your journey so far and how you are atm. But no pressure and only when you are able to.

 

11 minutes ago, Haa said:

Thank you for wanting to help us still suffering. It is really much appreciated. I can’t thank you enough. 

 

It really is our pleasure. We as a community have come to together here to help one another. You are part of that too!

 

Speak soon

 

Chippy

27 minutes ago, Haa said:

I come fra SA, and I am grateful, that I am able to continuing having a fellowship and support here in AR. 
I hope that the huge and long wave I am in will subside, and that I’ll be able to be of assistance and supportive as well. 
 

I’ll fill out my profile and signature, when my brain will coperate.

 

Thank you for wanting to help us still suffering. It is really much appreciated. I can’t thank you enough. 

 

Here is my thread on SA:

Hi @Haa warm greetings, although not ideal it is a good place to be in this process, there is great support here and very warm people, it's super important, this journey can feel very lonely at times.

Wishing you brighter days soon, in the meantime not doing much is enough.

Take good care.

@Fullhealing

Thank you for welcoming me here and wishing me well. 

9 minutes ago, Fullhealing said:

not doing much is enough.

I like that. Short and to the point. 

@Chippy

Thank you for approving so fast. 
I made a mistake as I actually started tapering 2016. 
When it is possible for you, can you change it? 🙏

2 minutes ago, Haa said:

@Chippy

Thank you for approving so fast. 
I made a mistake as I actually started tapering 2016. 
When it is possible for you, can you change it? 🙏

It's a pleasure. And yes Ive updated the title for you. 🙂 

🙏

@Haa  I came over to your page to say hello because you were kind enough to visit mine. I think of it as neighbors stopping by each other’s house to say hello. You asked how I am doing. I am no longer dealing with withdrawal issues, which feels very nice. I truly never thought I would see this day. Hang in there. I know it is hard now but it does get better.

Thank you for stopping by. I am so glad you’re my neighbor. 
This evening I have a small window. Here I am not captured by my anxiety and troubled mind. I savoir these moments. 🙏💕

Here the article @Tumultarisk posted 

in the media forum. 

I found it in an english translation. It  states, what we already know. The main point is, that it is now published. 

https://research.regionh.dk/en/publications/nedtrapning-af-antidepressiv-medicin/

I hope it is okay, that I spread the word. 🙏💕

 

 

I have been in a window all day. Enjoyed the snow and the sound of silence it brings. 
The harbour is frozen solid, and the ice is now 200 meters out from the coast. 
Beautiful, and I can enjoy it. I feel like me. We will see how it goes. Right now I am optimistic. 🙏💕

6 hours ago, Haa said:

I have been in a window all day. Enjoyed the snow and the sound of silence it brings. 
The harbour is frozen solid, and the ice is now 200 meters out from the coast. 
Beautiful, and I can enjoy it. I feel like me. We will see how it goes. Right now I am optimistic. 🙏💕

Love this @Haa!

 

I like the snow too. Especially those crisp sunny winter days. Beautiful. 
 

So great to recognise when we feel good. 😊 

 

Thanks for sharing. 
 

Chippy

@Chippy

Thank you for co-celebrate my window. This morning the window continues.

Only very short and mild cortison reaktion ( minutes ) when I woke up. Still feeling normal me. I am stil hopeful and looking forward to my day. 
I am going the the beach to show my 2 grandchildren the frozen sea and later I’ll workout. It is so liberating being able actually being able to have the energi and no WD symptoms at all. We will see how it goes. I hope it will last at least a while, even better if it settles here. 

I will see if all is well later today then I’ll write a short summary of my journey in my introduction. 
I am so grateful 🙏💕

1 hour ago, Haa said:

@Chippy

Thank you for co-celebrate my window. This morning the window continues.

Only very short and mild cortison reaktion ( minutes ) when I woke up. Still feeling normal me. I am stil hopeful and looking forward to my day. 
I am going the the beach to show my 2 grandchildren the frozen sea and later I’ll workout. It is so liberating being able actually being able to have the energi and no WD symptoms at all. We will see how it goes. I hope it will last at least a while, even better if it settles here. 

I will see if all is well later today then I’ll write a short summary of my journey in my introduction. 
I am so grateful 🙏💕

What a wonderful knows @Haa so glad for you, enjoy it and your grandchildren 👏

1 hour ago, Haa said:

@Chippy

Thank you for co-celebrate my window. This morning the window continues.

Only very short and mild cortison reaktion ( minutes ) when I woke up. Still feeling normal me. I am stil hopeful and looking forward to my day. 
I am going the the beach to show my 2 grandchildren the frozen sea and later I’ll workout. It is so liberating being able actually being able to have the energi and no WD symptoms at all. We will see how it goes. I hope it will last at least a while, even better if it settles here. 

I will see if all is well later today then I’ll write a short summary of my journey in my introduction. 
I am so grateful 🙏💕

Ah this is lovely to read thank you! I understand very well what a better day/window feels like. Thank you for sharing that with us. Enjoy those Grand kids they grow up fast dont they! 🙂 

Thank you for joining and for making an intro thread.

 

Hopefully you'll have more days feeling like yourself again.

Thank you @Luke . Today is a good day so fare. 
Take care and thanks for stopping by. 
🙏💕

8pm

Today I am back in a wave.

Restless, outburst, nervousness, inner turmoil, ruminating, fear of how long this is going to last this time, another outburst og eczema in ears and by the nose and eyebrows, burning sensations in legs and feet. 

The physical symptoms I can deal with.

The emotions are the hard part. I get really scared and have a hard time comforting myself. 
I want to let it be and keep telling myself that I am safe and this is WD.

The morning meds did bring some relief. But oh the anxiety occupies my mind. 
Under cover of the Oxapax, I’ll get started on some small things that I planed for today. It might bring my inner focus out, which also use to help. No pressure, just doing what feels right. I hope this won’t last long. The window was such a relieve. 

 

40 minutes ago, Haa said:

8pm

Today I am back in a wave.

Restless, outburst, nervousness, inner turmoil, ruminating, fear of how long this is going to last this time, another outburst og eczema in ears and by the nose and eyebrows, burning sensations in legs and feet. 

The physical symptoms I can deal with.

The emotions are the hard part. I get really scared and have a hard time comforting myself. 
I want to let it be and keep telling myself that I am safe and this is WD.

The morning meds did bring some relief. But oh the anxiety occupies my mind. 
Under cover of the Oxapax, I’ll get started on some small things that I planed for today. It might bring my inner focus out, which also use to help. No pressure, just doing what feels right. I hope this won’t last long. The window was such a relieve. 

Im sorry to hear this @Haa Just WD and just a wave as you say. Good to remind yourself of this. It will pass and window will take its place. Hope this happens soon for you. Chippy x

@Chippy Thank you. I know and trying to hold on to this knowledge.

I wish I had the strength to write my introduction. I’ll try to write it in danish and translate it and copy it to my tread.  All in time. 

1 hour ago, Haa said:

8pm

Today I am back in a wave.

Restless, outburst, nervousness, inner turmoil, ruminating, fear of how long this is going to last this time, another outburst og eczema in ears and by the nose and eyebrows, burning sensations in legs and feet. 

The physical symptoms I can deal with.

The emotions are the hard part. I get really scared and have a hard time comforting myself. 
I want to let it be and keep telling myself that I am safe and this is WD.

The morning meds did bring some relief. But oh the anxiety occupies my mind. 
Under cover of the Oxapax, I’ll get started on some small things that I planed for today. It might bring my inner focus out, which also use to help. No pressure, just doing what feels right. I hope this won’t last long. The window was such a relieve. 

 

 @Haa My heart is with you, so hard diving back, you had a beautiful window and a lot more to come, stay strong, hope it doesn't last long.

Edited February 10Feb 10 by Fullhealing

11 minutes ago, Haa said:

@Chippy Thank you. I know and trying to hold on to this knowledge.

I wish I had the strength to write my introduction. I’ll try to write it in danish and translate it and copy it to my tread.  All in time. 

No rush. Look after yourself! We already feel we have got to know you 🙂 but it would be great to have a little back story of course. In time.

Hi @LostinCanada
Do you happens to know how Go2zero is doing? I’ve been looking for him in BB and here. But his name appears to have vanished. 
🙏

Edited February 10Feb 10 by Haa

Hi @Haa

Go2zero is doing okay. He is planning to come here. He hasn't really been active there. He is dealing with his own taper which is a struggle and was really burned out on SA 

Hopefully he will soon be here to get and give support.  ❤️🙏

Hi @RachelSusan

How are you doing these days? 

Here it’s 10pm and I am usually at ease at this hour. And here I am able to use my prefrontal cortex. 😀

1. Did you mention, that you have intolerence to different foods? Or do I mistake it with someone who postet i your tread? 

I have over the years developed massive intolerence to almost anything but meat and vegetables. 
Well at least it means, that I eat healthy, and I have gotten used to this, so it is not a big issue. It is clear to me, that it is due to the meds I take, and during this wave and always, when I lower even just a small amount it flairs up. 
I can deal with this, and I have been testet multiple times for what not, and all tests come out normal. 
 

2. Can you explain what kindling is and how it will affect further tapering?

It is not that I am thinking of tapering for a considerable amount of time. I just haven't found an explanation yet, that I can understand fully.

 

I hope you are well, and I am so happy, that you are active here, even though you reached 0, years ago. 

Please don’t feel obliged to answer. I don’t want to exchorst you. 

🙏💕
 

Edited February 10Feb 10 by Haa