35 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

Hi @Haa

Go2zero is doing okay. He is planning to come here. He hasn't really been active there. He is dealing with his own taper which is a struggle and was really burned out on SA 

Hopefully he will soon be here to get and give support.  ❤️🙏

Thank you. I was going to drop in and ask him, if he was okay. And I got a bit worried, when I couldn’t find him. 
Wish him well, if you speak with him. 
🙏💕

6 minutes ago, Haa said:

Wish him well, if you speak with him. 

I told him you were asking about him...he says he will make an account tomorrow here. ❤️🙏

@Haa  Hi Haa,

It’s good to hear from you. I’m doing okay these days, thank you for asking.

Regarding kindling, I didn’t write the description below myself,  I looked it up using AI, as it explained it more clearly than I’ve been able to before:

“Kindling in the context of antidepressants refers to a sensitized nervous system caused by repeated cycles of stopping and starting medication, making subsequent withdrawals increasingly severe. This phenomenon, often linked with Mad In America and National Elf Service, can lead to chronic, intense withdrawal symptoms even if early attempts to quit were easy. It often causes nervous system destabilization, sometimes requiring a slow, patient tapering approach to stabilize symptoms.”

I’ll add that I’ve become sensitive to medications, caffeine, and even allergy medication. I’m not sure whether this is due to withdrawal, aging, or a combination of both.

 

Warm wishes.

Hello @Haait’s good to have you here. Sorry to hear that you’re struggling with a long wave, just wanted to pop in and say I know exactly how you feel, I’ve had one lately myself but that it does get better as time goes on. 
 

Even though a wave might last longer than expected it’s always healthy to remember that a wave and window pattern is the best sign of healing and that these back and forth periods do become much easier and spaced apart as time passes. 
 

Much love, and continuing pushing on! 

welcome @Haaand thank you for asking about "kindling". I never heard of it. But sounds like I've been a victim of it.

 

I'm moved by your story and yet not looking forward to "windows and waves." These folks round here sure are helpful and patient.

 

Thanks everybody!

Hi Haa, I am glad that we connected about polyvagal exercises. Let me and the rest that are here know how you doing. I hope it has gotten better for you recently. Take care, my friend!

Hi @Chippy

Thanks for dropping by. 
I have a practical question.

Where can I write my introduktion so it will show in the top of my tread. 
If I just write it in my tread here, it will be hard ro find amongst the previous posts. 
Or are there another place, where I can write it, so it is easy to find? 
Thank you in advance 🙏💕

@Haa hope you are ok atm? wishing you a wonderful easy day 🤗 

4 hours ago, Fullhealing said:

hope you are ok atm?

This morning has been a little muddy. I went to the kajakclub, took a rest and did my weightlifting program. And I landed in my baseline state.

I have had some good days with just short periods of tension. The burning sensation is more or less permanent, just shifting between mouth, nose and legs. I have gotten used to this. So no big deal. 

 

Just small periods of anxiety, fear and mindracing -  the worst WD symptoms. I embrace them as best I can. 
Thank you for asking. May you have some peace as well. 🙏💕

 

1 hour ago, Haa said:

This morning has been a little muddy. I went to the kajakclub, took a rest and did my weightlifting program. And I landed in my baseline state.

I have had some good days with just short periods of tension. The burning sensation is more or less permanent, just shifting between mouth, nose and legs. I have gotten used to this. So no big deal. 

 

Just small periods of anxiety, fear and mindracing -  the worst WD symptoms. I embrace them as best I can. 
Thank you for asking. May you have some peace as well. 🙏💕

 

@Haa seems like you're doing a great work on acceptance muscle, difficult one to train. work in progress for me, slowly.. glad you're relatively okay 👏

7 hours ago, Haa said:

have a practical question.

Where can I write my introduktion so it will show in the top of my tread. 

This is your introduction thread and only place to record it. You could always ask @Chippy to move it to the top once you write it, if that is possible. 

8 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

This is your introduction thread and only place to record it. You could always ask @Chippy to move it to the top once you write it, if that is possible. 

@Haa yes just as lic has said. I can move it to the top once you’ve written it. Just tag me in it and let me know and I’ll sort it out for you. 

Yes, either myself or Chippy will see it and move it for you.

Hi @RachelSusan

I have now written my introduction.

Can I ask you if you would be willing to read it before I upload it in my tread?

Perhaps if it is possible I could somehow just send it to you? 
🙏💕

@Haa 

Hi Haa, thanks for reaching out. I’d really like to read your introduction once you’ve posted it in the group rather than beforehand. It doesn’t have to be perfect at all, and I’m sure whatever you’ve written is more than good enough because it came from you. If you’re unsure, your opening paragraph in SA was a great start and could guide you.  You can always edit or add to it after it’s up, and once you post it, I’ll respond in the thread if anything comes to mind.

 

@RachelSusan Thank you for taking your time to answer me. 
What I think is, that I wrote way too much. I tried to remember what happened from back in 1997 and up to today. 
I am sure the tekst could be shortened a lot - I find it difficult to get the big picture exposed. And what to leave out. 
I’ll look at some other members introductions to see how much they wrote, for how long back and how detailed. 
 

So fare I haven’t figured how to find other peoples intro. I can sometimes scroll to the top of their tread, and find it there. But not always. And next time I can’t remember how I found it. 
 

Can you tell me, if this is the correct way or if there is another way of finding members introductions? 
 

I went back to my SA intro and started to rewrite it. My cognitive skills are at the moment not up to speed, so I guess I hoped for a shortcut. Even though, I do know, there are no shortcut's. 🙃

1 hour ago, Haa said:

So fare I haven’t figured how to find other peoples intro. I can sometimes scroll to the top of their tread, and find it there. But not always. And next time I can’t remember how I found it.

 

Sometimes the threads are more than one page long due to the number of comments.

 

You just need to click on "page 1" to see the first page, and the first post in the thread.

@Luke Thank you. I’ll give it a go 🙂🙏💕

@Haa I see Luke answered you, which is great. As for your introduction, 

you’re not alone in this. It’s really hard to decide what to include, especially when you’re trying to cover many years of your life. Most introductions don’t have to be very long. A few paragraphs is usually enough, just the main points of your story and where you are now. It makes sense that this feels overwhelming, especially if your cognitive energy isn’t at its best right now. Be gentle with yourself. There is no perfect version, just include what you would like us to know about how you got here. 

My introduction

I am 67 years old, living with my husband in a small house close the sea. Most of my carrier I worked as a RN in intensive care units and in an accident and emergency department. I am now retired.

 

I have been on several AD since 1997 due to GAD. (See my signature)

 

At times I was living I pure hell and horror with no rest, having to be active in order to just keep my self together. I was suicidal many times, despite or because of all the meds I was on, but I managed to pull trough, by kayaking, being in the nature and being amongst friends, and keeping active all the time not by wanting to but by need.

 

I am grateful, that I have a psychiatrist, who are very caring and understand the need of slow tapering, and know I don´t have a relapse, but WD.

 

2024-2025 I tapered Oxapax every 4-6 weeks to from 7,5mg x3 Oxapax 0,11mg.

It went well with just a few minor physical WD and short periods with up-flaring anxiety and poor sleep. 

2025 I hit the wall big time and crashed totally. Hell and horror broke loose. We up dosed Oxapax 7,5mg x3. And I was up dosed in Sertraline to 100mg. I was desperate. At times I didn`t trust myself not to act on the impulse to just end it all, so I would have said yes to almost anything suggested, so it was with my full consent.

 

Anxiety kept on being horrendous. We didn`t know if the anxiety was due to the high up-dose Sertraline or to the too rapid tapering Oxapax. The 2-4 hours effect of Oxapax was what made it bearable. We decreased Sertraline slightly to see if that would make a difference. 

Up dosing Sertraline was a huge mistake, as we now suspected that up-dosing Sertraline just added to the WD I was in. 

Up dosing Oxapax was a huge up dosing as well, although we tried to just up dosing a little at the time. 

I was in an acute state, and I wasn`t able to wait it out, so this was we did. I was so close to the finish line tapering Oxapax. But this was then, and now is now. 

 

The reason I crashed was probably due to several things. 

1.     In the end of August 2025 I miscalculated the dose of Oxapax. I was on 1,875mg = 1,875ml. I thought: ”Well now I am under 2 ml. Now I can swap to 1 ml syringe”. And so I did. I pulled up 0,1875ml=0,1875mg. I didn`t notice it until a couple of days later. And then I thought: ”Well as it hasn`t affected the taper; I might as well continue tapering from this dose”.

2.     I forgot to take the Sertraline at night, as I fell asleep on the sofa. This happened once a week during 3 weeks. The first time I thought, I better wait on till the next dose. And I did, but I felt the missing dose during the day. The next two times I hurried to take the Sertraline, as soon as I woke in the morning, and then postponed the morning meds an hour or so.

3.     As I hadn´t taken a longer hold in 2025 while tapering the Oxapax, it might also be the accumulated WD, that emerged.

It is now 6 months after I crashed, and I started to feel some improvement. I am still in WD with huge waves with crying spells, anxiety and the constantly need of being active. But I have short windows, where I feel almost like myself. I want to taper Sertraline back to 75mg (Even though there is no guarantee this will help). I also want to taper Lyrica and Oxapax slowly slowly with long holds.

 

It will take many years, and I am not sure, I live long enough to taper of completely as I tolerate only very small reductions. But at least I will try to get down on some more manageable doses, in case I should be hospitalised due to other illness or end up having to move to a nursing home, if I get too old to manage on my own. No living soul will respect the tiny doses I am on like for instance Lyrica capsul 25mg + Lyrica liquid 0,16ml = 28,2mg.

 

I will be grateful if @Luke @Chippy will move this to the top of my tread. 

 

 My introduktion is way too long. @LostinCanada  @RachelSusan? do you have the energi to advise me, what to leave out so that I just write what is necessary to give an overview of my long and winding journey, I would be grateful. 

1 hour ago, Haa said:

I will be grateful if @Luke @Chippy will move this to the top of my tread. 

 

Done 🙂 

 

1 hour ago, Haa said:

My introduktion is way too long. @LostinCanada  @RachelSusan? do you have the energi to advise me, what to leave out so that I just write what is necessary to give an overview of my long and winding journey, I would be grateful.

I think your intro is just right in length. 🙂 🙂 

@Haa  Thank you for sharing your experiences. It’s clear you’ve been through a lot and have put a lot of thought into describing everything. I’m really impressed with the career you’ve had. Working in such a high-stress, demanding career shows how capable and strong you are.

 

In answer to your question about making your introduction shorter, it can be hard to condense such a complex story. I do think it is already a good length and doesn’t need any changes unless you feel strongly it should be shorter. Whatever you decide, it is your story, and you can share it in the way that feels best for you. Overall, I could follow what you were saying, and I can see the hell you have been through.

 

I’m glad you are holding now and starting to notice some windows. To me, those little windows are a sign that recovery is happening. That was my experience with Sertraline as well.

Everything looks great @Haa

I am 65 and wonder as well if I will ever get off...I just keep thinking, less of the drug is better so every drop is a win...

What a journey we all have taken....one day at a time. ❤️🙏

 

Edited February 22Feb 22 by LostinCanada

2 hours ago, Haa said:

 

My introduction

I am 67 years old, living with my husband in a small house close the sea. Most of my carrier I worked as a RN in intensive care units and in an accident and emergency department. I am now retired.

 

I have been on several AD since 1997 due to GAD. (See my signature)

 

At times I was living I pure hell and horror with no rest, having to be active in order to just keep my self together. I was suicidal many times, despite or because of all the meds I was on, but I managed to pull trough, by kayaking, being in the nature and being amongst friends, and keeping active all the time not by wanting to but by need.

 

I am grateful, that I have a psychiatrist, who are very caring and understand the need of slow tapering, and know I don´t have a relapse, but WD.

 

2024-2025 I tapered Oxapax every 4-6 weeks to from 7,5mg x3 Oxapax 0,11mg.

It went well with just a few minor physical WD and short periods with up-flaring anxiety and poor sleep. 

2025 I hit the wall big time and crashed totally. Hell and horror broke loose. We up dosed Oxapax 7,5mg x3. And I was up dosed in Sertraline to 100mg. I was desperate. At times I didn`t trust myself not to act on the impulse to just end it all, so I would have said yes to almost anything suggested, so it was with my full consent.

 

Anxiety kept on being horrendous. We didn`t know if the anxiety was due to the high up-dose Sertraline or to the too rapid tapering Oxapax. The 2-4 hours effect of Oxapax was what made it bearable. We decreased Sertraline slightly to see if that would make a difference. 

Up dosing Sertraline was a huge mistake, as we now suspected that up-dosing Sertraline just added to the WD I was in. 

Up dosing Oxapax was a huge up dosing as well, although we tried to just up dosing a little at the time. 

I was in an acute state, and I wasn`t able to wait it out, so this was we did. I was so close to the finish line tapering Oxapax. But this was then, and now is now. 

 

The reason I crashed was probably due to several things. 

1.     In the end of August 2025 I miscalculated the dose of Oxapax. I was on 1,875mg = 1,875ml. I thought: ”Well now I am under 2 ml. Now I can swap to 1 ml syringe”. And so I did. I pulled up 0,1875ml=0,1875mg. I didn`t notice it until a couple of days later. And then I thought: ”Well as it hasn`t affected the taper; I might as well continue tapering from this dose”.

2.     I forgot to take the Sertraline at night, as I fell asleep on the sofa. This happened once a week during 3 weeks. The first time I thought, I better wait on till the next dose. And I did, but I felt the missing dose during the day. The next two times I hurried to take the Sertraline, as soon as I woke in the morning, and then postponed the morning meds an hour or so.

3.     As I hadn´t taken a longer hold in 2025 while tapering the Oxapax, it might also be the accumulated WD, that emerged.

It is now 6 months after I crashed, and I started to feel some improvement. I am still in WD with huge waves with crying spells, anxiety and the constantly need of being active. But I have short windows, where I feel almost like myself. I want to taper Sertraline back to 75mg (Even though there is no guarantee this will help). I also want to taper Lyrica and Oxapax slowly slowly with long holds.

 

It will take many years, and I am not sure, I live long enough to taper of completely as I tolerate only very small reductions. But at least I will try to get down on some more manageable doses, in case I should be hospitalised due to other illness or end up having to move to a nursing home, if I get too old to manage on my own. No living soul will respect the tiny doses I am on like for instance Lyrica capsul 25mg + Lyrica liquid 0,16ml = 28,2mg.

 

I will be grateful if @Luke @Chippy will move this to the top of my tread. 

 

 My introduktion is way too long. @LostinCanada  @RachelSusan? do you have the energi to advise me, what to leave out so that I just write what is necessary to give an overview of my long and winding journey, I would be grateful. 

Hey @Haa glad to read your intro and to get to know you better.

I'm truly sorry for everything you've been through, that's so much of a struggle and yet you are still fighting and coping so well in the face of all the difficulties, you are very strong.

happy you're having good days lately, may they last forever! you deserve it.

Continue to be strong on your journey and be gentle with yourself, wishing you nothing but the best.

2 hours ago, Haa said:

But at least I will try to get down on some more manageable doses, in case I should be hospitalised due to other illness or end up having to move to a nursing home, if I get too old to manage on my own. No living soul will respect the tiny doses I am

This was a big fear of mine when I was tapering the Sertraline, and still is for other medications I take.