Hi @GreggeryPeccary ,

I can relate to so many things you wrote. I also desperately look for a 100% similar succes story.

However, its hard to find certain cases. However, I have found a few interesting things on SA. Maybe you can relate to some of them. Some are from long term use cases + reinstatement injuries.

ave you seen this story? He was on Zoloft for 20 years, quit it CT, reinstated 5 months later and quit CT again after 4 months. He also had sexual disfunction and brain burning and many other horrible symptoms. Took him 2,5 years to turn a corner.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/14913-pug-your-miracle-is-coming-hang-on/#comment-288141

Toast also mentioned he has severe anhedonia for 2 years (was 19 years on the med)

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/32469-toast-recovery-after-19-years-on-ssris-including-since-childhood/

Charlie was on them since young age as well. He regained all emotions and sexual function back. He started to feel more after 3 years.

CharlieBrown's Long Road To Success! - Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal - Surviving Antidepressants

Another person healed form anhedonia and libido issues

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/22421-happilyderailed-from-heaven-to-hell-and-back/#comment-473812

This person also experienced no emotions / anhedonia / low libido

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/14042-aissela-back-to-life/#comment-271341

This person also had reinstatement injury and all kinds of symptoms

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/17500-matisse-80-90-of-my-symptoms-gone/#comment-343465

This one is also very interesting! He answers all questions in the comments. Took him 4,5 years to get all his emotions back…

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/31009-3bbsgurkpog-great-success/

Interesting post

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/17647-tao-of-the-brassmonkey/#comment-351118

Violets: Fully recovered from severe form of PSSD after two years - Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal - Surviving Antidepressants

11 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

Yes! Get outside and out of your bubble and find things to engage your senses.

Unfortunately, and I don't know if @GreggeryPeccary can relate, but part of emotional blunting can be sensory blunting. I can't "feel" the pleasantness of sun on my skin, I don't relish the taste of food. Music elicits no response either. I rubbed some lavendar oil on my hands yesterday - smelled it, no response internally. It is a horrid symptom.

10 hours ago, Chippy said:

If it helps any, I strongly suspect the emotional blunting, is the body’s way of protecting from worse symptoms, whilst it heals behind the scenes, it’s pretty smart like that, however I know how distressing this must feel. Pretty much everyone thinks they are unique, and won’t heal, but that in itself proves how wrong that assumption is!

Yes I suspect this too because before I had the blunting I had severe anxiety and distress from withdrawal so I think this is my brain protecting me from that. But who knows

4 hours ago, Sophia said:

I can relate to so many things you wrote. I also desperately look for a 100% similar succes story.

However, its hard to find certain cases. However, I have found a few interesting things on SA. Maybe you can relate to some of them. Some are from long term use cases + reinstatement injuries.

Wow, thank you for all the stories. I will take a look

3 hours ago, Sminismoni said:

Unfortunately, and I don't know if @GreggeryPeccary can relate, but part of emotional blunting can be sensory blunting. I can't "feel" the pleasantness of sun on my skin, I don't relish the taste of food. Music elicits no response either. I rubbed some lavendar oil on my hands yesterday - smelled it, no response internally. It is a horrid symptom.

My smell and taste is still kind of messed up but I can usually feel physical sensations just fine, it's just that there is no emotional component to it. One time while I was cooking I stuck my hand in a bowl of ice water and I could feel the stinging of the water but I felt no emotional distress from it.

4 hours ago, Sminismoni said:

Unfortunately, and I don't know if @GreggeryPeccary can relate, but part of emotional blunting can be sensory blunting. I can't "feel" the pleasantness of sun on my skin, I don't relish the taste of food. Music elicits no response either. I rubbed some lavendar oil on my hands yesterday - smelled it, no response internally. It is a horrid symptom.

I can relate to this! It's strange though; I am actually able to feel the pleasantness of the sun on my skin but listening to music rarely invokes the (strong) feelings I previously had. Some smells are nice while others are now annoying or irritating to me. I also don't feel the warmth and connection from friends/family. Very odd, indeed...

10 months 3 weeks. This far in and still no consistent improvements. Hell I would take any change at all in how I feel at this point, not just an improvement. Just the same blank feeling day in and day out. Eventually I will need to go out and get a job again. I am thinking about giving it about another year and then just forcing myself to work whether I am recovered or not. I have no idea if I will be able to work with this brain fog + the apathy though. I used to be a software developer and the idea of doing that kind of mentally strenuous work involving complex abstract thinking again seems so daunting to me.

38 minutes ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

10 months 3 weeks. This far in and still no consistent improvements. Hell I would take any change at all in how I feel at this point, not just an improvement. Just the same blank feeling day in and day out. Eventually I will need to go out and get a job again. I am thinking about giving it about another year and then just forcing myself to work whether I am recovered or not. I have no idea if I will be able to work with this brain fog + the apathy though. I used to be a software developer and the idea of doing that kind of mentally strenuous work involving complex abstract thinking again seems so daunting to me.

It's interesting how so many of us were in this field. I was a more or less a programmer too but more on the support side. The brain fog is super detrimental and probably the main reason I burned out so hard. It sucks to struggle with playing telephone on issues when you used to troubleshoot complex Postgres and Apache issues with ease. The latter of that being virtually impossible.

Are there any easier jobs you can get? Lately, I've just been targeting help desk roles. It'll be a hit to the pride with the pay-cut, but at least it would be some money and some mid-day distraction.

14 minutes ago, Kahran said:

Are there any easier jobs you can get? Lately, I've just been targeting help desk roles. It'll be a hit to the pride with the pay-cut, but at least it would be some money and some mid-day distraction.

I remember one of my TLs trying to explain a part of our code base and my brain literally could not comprehend him. My mind could not visualize or hold onto anything he was saying. It was like I dropped 60 IQ points. I spend a while just smiling and nodding and pretending I knew what everyone was talking about. I don't blame anyone who has quit their jobs because of brain fog, it really is brutal. I've thought about taking a less demanding job, but I'd like to avoid that if possible. I guess it kind of feels like that would be sort of letting myself down? Maybe it's a pride thing? Like it's beneath me? I don't know. I don't understand my own emotions any more. Currently I am content to just wait it out for a bit. I have a lot of money saved up and am living with my parents currently so I am fortunate in that regard. Plus one "good" part of emotional blunting is not being able to feel the boredom or restlessness that usually accompanies unemployment.

18 minutes ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

Plus one "good" part of emotional blunting is not being able to feel the boredom or restlessness that usually accompanies unemployment.

Hah, lucky you. I started feeling it about 8 months in. Hey, maybe that means I'm healing a bit. 😂

But yeah dude, it's brutal. I had a new manager assigned to me and when I asked for help, she questioned why I was struggling after 2 years of experience. I just could not comprehend what people were asking or even where to look. It's like all the links in my brain got completely severed. Even Vyvanse couldn't carry me through this.

The pride thing hurts, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. I think it's still possible to move up afterwards.

Edited April 26Apr 26 by Kahran

@Sophia , very kind of you to seek out those success stories and post them.

On 4/26/2026 at 10:41 PM, GreggeryPeccary said:

10 months 3 weeks. This far in and still no consistent improvements.

This is not at all uncommon at this sort of timeframe. I was going to preface with the word "unfortunately".

It is unfortunate, because obviously that's a huge amount of time to suffer and of course, not having seen any consistent improvements is also not good.

However, the other side of that, is that it is very common not to have consistently improved in this timeframe amongst people who did then go on to recover and live good lives in more time.

I think it's good to avoid working for now, if that is something you can do, of course. You can see how you are down the line, maybe you'll need to take an "easier" role, maybe you'll be a lot better. I wouldn't make that decision just yet if you have the option of waiting to recover a bit more.

On 4/20/2026 at 5:06 PM, GreggeryPeccary said:

10 months 2 weeks 1 day. Feels like I'm going backwards in terms of symptoms recently. Even though I have been off drugs for around 10 months I have been dealing with this soul crushing apathy since the summer of 2024, so about 2 years now. I guess it was actually 3 years but that first year wasn't as bad. I feel like I am forgetting who I used to be. 2 years of complete emotional silence. I guess I'm saying I'm really sick of being numb. Not feeling optimistic. People say I will recover but they don't know that. Just empty promises. Sorry for the negativity.

Looks like I'm going to be unemployed for another year. Brain fog is still too bad.

Hello @GreggeryPeccary ,

It’s okay not to have hope. How could we have any, from an uncertain future, "empty promises," as you say. The only important thing is to let time pass because healing is key. It’s so hard to be disconnected from oneself for so long. But many people around the world have recovered after decades of treatment, and so will you. You can go to see the videos of Angie Peacock’s testimonies of healing. I find that videos are more telling than written testimonies, because we "see" people express themselves.

Try to occupy your time as best you can, so that when you are cured, you will be able to say to yourself "yes, it was very difficult, but I did my best during all this time, with my condition". And you would be proud of it later. I know it sounds fake (even to me), but people end up getting their lives back and even better than before.

On 3/29/2026 at 6:31 PM, GreggeryPeccary said:

I have noticed that I feel tired more often and I am getting to bed a bit easier and when I wake up I even feel a bit groggy sometimes.

It is an excellent improvement, it is during sleep that our brain and body regenerates. Now that you’ve found it, everything can only go the right way.

On 4/20/2026 at 5:06 PM, GreggeryPeccary said:

10 months 2 weeks 1 day. Feels like I'm going backwards in terms of symptoms recently. Even though I have been off drugs for around 10 months I have been dealing with this soul crushing apathy since the summer of 2024, so about 2 years now. I guess it was actually 3 years but that first year wasn't as bad. I feel like I am forgetting who I used to be. 2 years of complete emotional silence. I guess I'm saying I'm really sick of being numb. Not feeling optimistic. People say I will recover but they don't know that. Just empty promises. Sorry for the negativity.

Looks like I'm going to be unemployed for another year. Brain fog is still too bad.

We must try not to forget who you were before all this disaster. Unfortunately, we can no longer live as before, but we can always try to continue doing things, even if we don’t feel anything anymore. For example, I am a creative person, I like to draw and read. I have bought crafts and books. Even if I no longer feel anything while carrying out the tasks, I keep doing them. It’s a way to continue being yourself, even if you’re no longer. You are still you, in fact, it’s just that we suffer from the terrible effects of these so-called medicines. It sounds silly, but I think it’s good to remember it; so as not to start with considerations that are disconnected from reality.

On 4/21/2026 at 4:54 PM, GreggeryPeccary said:

One time while I was cooking I stuck my hand in a bowl of ice water and I could feel the stinging of the water but I felt no emotional distress from it.

As you, I wanted to try a dish and I burned my tongue a few months ago. This clumsiness is so not us. My brain sent the "reflex" to remove the spoon from the mouth, but I didn’t have that thought of "oulala, it burns!". It’s so disconcerting.

This is almost my exact experience and symptoms. I am a little over a year out. Before this, I was bubbly,Embodied, funny, hopeful. I would fantasize and daydream a lot. I could listen to audiobooks all day and music. I felt cozy. I wrote about my experience here. I also tried to reinstate with two drugs, although I don’t mention that in the piece because it’s just too many details… but I had tried Prozac for seven days and then Zoloft for about six days at regular doses… On the small smaller size 10 mg for Prozac and 12.5 for Zoloft.

Panties, Prozac, Psilocybin, and HPPD

It was never difficult to find panties that fit until age 38.

I obsess over the idea of reinstating a small tiny dose at all times because it does feel like those neurons are just aching for something, but it would probably make it worse. I just can’t imagine not doing anything and like you said I just can’t imagine existing like this for another 2 to 3 years or possibly longer.

11 months now. Almost a year. I think at the beginning of this year around February I might have been in a slight window, although I didn't realize it at the time. But now it seems the apathy has gotten even worse recently, so perhaps I am in a "wave". Eyesight seems to be getting even worse although I am still too apathetic to really do anything about it like going to an eye doctor. It's crazy that the brain fog and DPDR is still this bad almost a year in.

Thank you @Luke and @poulette38 for the encouragement. I suppose it is statistically likely I will recover at some point. Sometimes I visit PSSD communities though (bad habit I know) and it is very common for people there to be suffering for 5+ years and still be posting. My symptoms don't match exactly to PSSD as I dont have any physical sexual dysfunction, but I think whatever is wrong with me is probably related. I have seen accounts of people taking 12, 17, and even 20 years to recover. I think there is a non zero chance that I will either never recover or take so long to recover it is practically forever.

I have never been particularly good at optimism and now it seems optimism is impossible for me. But I will keep plodding along as long as I can.

3 minutes ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

Sometimes I visit PSSD communities though (bad habit I know) and it is very common for people there to be suffering for 5+ years and still be posting. My symptoms don't match exactly to PSSD as I dont have any physical sexual dysfunction, but I think whatever is wrong with me is probably related. I have seen accounts of people taking 12, 17, and even 20 years to recover. I think there is a non zero chance that I will either never recover or take so long to recover it is practically forever.

Your recovery is very much up to you and how you want to work toward it. I advise avoiding comparing your path to anyone else's. I did that and became frustrated because I perceived others were making more progress than I was. Also, your mind will find what it focuses on. Your anxiety loop wants to keep you trapped in a negative loop. Don't set any timeline, long or short. Just accept that you will recover and do the things that will help you get there.

1 hour ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

11 months now. Almost a year. I think at the beginning of this year around February I might have been in a slight window, although I didn't realize it at the time. But now it seems the apathy has gotten even worse recently, so perhaps I am in a "wave". Eyesight seems to be getting even worse although I am still too apathetic to really do anything about it like going to an eye doctor. It's crazy that the brain fog and DPDR is still this bad almost a year in.

I have seen accounts of people taking 12, 17, and even 20 years to recover. I think there is a non zero chance that I will either never recover or take so long to recover it is practically forever.

I have never been particularly good at optimism and now it seems optimism is impossible for me. But I will keep plodding along as long as I can.

It takes much less time than this for most people. For people who have been polydrugged for decades, about 4 years. The testimony I saw was a person who had been on drugs for 15 years (AD, anxiolytics, and antipsychotics). And after about 2 years, she was already seeing progress. (CaroleAdvices for the source, she has a YouTube channel)

https://benzobuddies.org/topic/266718-anhedonia-for-two-years-healed/

4 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

Your anxiety loop wants to keep you trapped in a negative loop. Don't set any timeline, long or short. Just accept that you will recover and do the things that will help you get there.

The thing is I can't even feel anxiety because the blunting numbs that too. It's more like a quiet hopeless resignation

3 minutes ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

The thing is I can't even feel anxiety because the blunting numbs that too. It's more like a quiet hopeless resignation

I feel you so much on this… was on the SSRI for anxiety and panic disorder I was dealing with for years. Its completely wiped out…. But not in a good way..

9 minutes ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

The thing is I can't even feel anxiety because the blunting numbs that too. It's more like a quiet hopeless resignation

Again, your recovery is up to you. Even though you feel numb at the moment, it won't last forever. But you need to make an effort toward recovery. Its not going to just happen to you. If you injure your shoulder, you'd do physical therapy to restore its function. If you didn't, it would get worse. Its the same with your feelings. If you don't try to practice some recovery techniques, you won't get the emotions or feelings you're seeking back.

1 hour ago, mstimc60 said:

Again, your recovery is up to you. Even though you feel numb at the moment, it won't last forever. But you need to make an effort toward recovery. Its not going to just happen to you. If you injure your shoulder, you'd do physical therapy to restore its function. If you didn't, it would get worse. Its the same with your feelings. If you don't try to practice some recovery techniques, you won't get the emotions or feelings you're seeking back.

I don't think there are any exercises you can do to improve numbing. I have tried to be "present" and "notice" emotions but it never works. In fact it might even make things worse because it makes me hypervigilant about all the emotions I'm not feeling. Whether or not I feel something seems to be completely random, and when I do the feeling is so small it might as well not even be there. Basically all I can do is try to take decent care of myself physically and just wait.

39 minutes ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

I don't think there are any exercises you can do to improve numbing. I have tried to be "present" and "notice" emotions but it never works. In fact it might even make things worse because it makes me hypervigilant about all the emotions I'm not feeling. Whether or not I feel something seems to be completely random, and when I do the feeling is so small it might as well not even be there. Basically all I can do is try to take decent care of myself physically and just wait.

That's your neuro-emotions talking. If you truly were numb, you wouldn't be on this site. You're obviously looking for a way to restore your feelings and emotions. If you're numb most of the time, what do you have to lose by trying some recovery practices? You won't be any worse off than you are now, and you may surprise yourself with the results.

43 minutes ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

Basically all I can do is try to take decent care of myself physically and just wait.

Physical care is important, but waiting isn't progress. Recovery doesn't just happen. We need to work at it. You used different meds for years, so healing will come slowly--but it will come if you let it work within you.