@mstimc60, what do you advise to do to help us to get off ftom the anhedonia?

1 minute ago, skamen said:

@mstimc60, what do you advise to do to help us to get off ftom the anhedonia?

Little things at first. Think about things you did that brought you joy, then try them in small doses. I’m a woodworker, but when I was working on recovery, the thought of setting up my tools and work space, then trying to create something, and then cleaning up was way too much for me. So I did very small things I could work on with just a few hand tools. Sometimes I’d just rearrange my tools to declutter the space, and then that would spark my desire to use them again.

If you liked to read, don’t try to tackle that big book you were going to read. Go back to one you’ve read and enjoyed before, and just skim it.

Get outside and make an effort to find something beautiful. A blossom on a tree or the way the branches sway in the wind. Consciously feel the wind or sun on your face and describe what it feels like to yourself.

Don’t aim for a huge emotional breakthrough. Just do small things to start retraining your brain to feel emotions again.

Thank you, @mstimc60. In the awful anhedonia has thrown me the AD I have taken for 14 years... Since then I am in Hell. I would like to work, but I am not able, my profession is public, I have to be in great physical and mental shape... Now I continue to have horrendous cortisol spikes over the night, hot flashes, sweats, feeling of dying, terror. I adore read but since February 2024 I cannot recognize myself: I am not able to read, nor watching TV or leasten to music (I play piano)... I try to do some reading every day but I don't feel any pleasure, it is inhumane, living Hell, I am dead inside.

Edited May 4May 4 by skamen

1 minute ago, skamen said:

Thank you, @mstimc60. In the awful anhedonia have thrown me the AD I have taken for 14 years... Since then I am in Hell. I would like to work, but I am not able, my profession is public, I have to be in great physical and mental shape... Now I continue to have horrendous cortisol spikes over the night, hot flashes, sweats, feeling of dying, terror. I adore read but since February 2024 I cannot recognize myself: I am not able to read, nor watching TV or leasten to music (I play piano)... I try to do some reading every day but I don't feel any pleasure, it is inhumane, living Hell, I am dead inside.

Give yourself time and patience; recovery will come. You were on meds 14 years; it will take time for your brain to heal. But it will heal. Another thing you can do is to try some simple affirmations to replace the negative thoughts. Instead of "reading brings me no pleasure" , write down "I'm looking forward to getting back to reading when I'm ready". Write the affirmations down--our brains retain written words better than just saying them. You want to work on moving your thoughts away from negative ruminations towards more positive thought habits. It will take time but it works.

I will start tomorrow to write a positive affirmations, @mstimc60. Thank you for the advise. I am open to other suggestions.

3 minutes ago, skamen said:

I will start tomorrow to write a positive affirmations, @mstimc60. Thank you for the advise. I am open to other suggestions.

Great! Let us know how you’re doing!

4 hours ago, skamen said:

I am open to other suggestions.

Have you tried to get a nice massage or treatment? It might help you get back into your body? :)

I also try to walk everyday and recently I made an appointment at a gut clinic to let my gut tested. Brain and gut are highly related.

Besides I stated acupuncture (idk if it helps) but at least it forces me to do some kind of meditation practice while laying there…

I also try some yoga nidra practices..

But I don’t fully agree that nothing will change by waiting and recovery can not happen unless you “do” something. I think we humans always want to have control by action, but if your shoulder is injured it will most of the time just heal itself once it’s left alone. Angie Peacock said healing happens, regardless if you believe in it. Listening to your body is also important. If you body doesn’t allow you to watch tv, it’s okay to listen to it. Once it’s ready you will get that signal automatically!

I asked a Dutch psychiatrist and professor (Jim van Os) he believes in withdrawal and replied and said this;

What can help you most now is to stop searching for explanations in terms of damage or defect—understandable as that thought is. Your brain is not broken. It’s dysregulated and in the process of recovering. That recovery takes time, and especially rest and predictability. Avoid making new interventions with other medication unless there’s a clear reason. Try not to constantly scan whether you feel something yet—that keeps the system in survival mode.

Lifestyle may sound too simple, but it’s crucial here: regular sleep, eating, and movement. Don’t force feelings or emotions. Gently continue functioning while your body slowly relearns how to send signals. Many people find that physical activities without performance pressure—like walking or gentle movement—help rebuild the connection with the body.

It’s also important to know that for the vast majority of people, this gradually improves—sometimes slowly, sometimes in jumps. It can take months, unfortunately, but it is rarely permanent. You read less about recovery online because people who recover often leave those forums.

You’re not crazy for being frightened by this. And you didn’t do anything wrong. You made a well-considered attempt in a situation where you were stuck. The fact that it didn’t work out does not mean there is something wrong with you or that your brain has failed you.

Try to see this as a recovery process, not a new condition. That requires patience, as frustrating as that is—and self-compassion, especially now that you feel so little.

15 hours ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

Sometimes I visit PSSD communities though (bad habit I know) and it is very common for people there to be suffering for 5+ years and still be posting. My symptoms don't match exactly to PSSD as I dont have any physical sexual dysfunction, but I think whatever is wrong with me is probably related.

Then it's just not that relevant given that you do not have PSSD?

There are people who have had PSSD for many years without improving, but all that I'm aware of have been "classic" cases without any fluctuations, windows etc, and have all had physical sexual dysfunction.

It also has to be said that while those people exist, and I am in touch with several, in PSSD communities there is also a very significant proportion of people claiming to have it whilst still taking psychiatric medications, claiming to have had it for "X years" without mentioning that they have not been drug free for that time and have cycled on and off of various new drugs, and so on. It got so bad on the subreddit that they introduced mandatory flares to show whether people were still on drugs or had only recently discontinued.

If we're talking statistics, the overwhelming majority on this site, and on SA, were not past 2 years off, and if you expanded that to 3 years, the number of people actively suffering symptoms dropped to a very tiny minority.

Thank you, @Sophia, for your post.I have tried acupuncture (25 sessions), but it didn't help me. I did also some yoga nidra but quited it, perhaps I will return to it.

It is great that you have returned to work. I am sure that this will really help you.

Svetla

11 months 1 week. Sometimes I have this feeling that I am not suffering enough. During my previous discontinuation attempts I would always have some sort of intense suffering such as extremely uncomfortable burning sensations in my head or intense anxiety. When I made dose reductions I would feel the effects the next day. This time however none of that is happening, and when I made dose reductions when I was tapering it would take a week or two for me to feel anything. It's like something shifted in my head when I reinstated Effexor and Zoloft and the nature of withdrawal is different now.

Maybe it's strange but because I'm not having any of those symptoms it doesn't "feel" like anything really changed when I went off meds. I mean I do have withdrawal symptoms like brain fog and DPDR but it doesn't feel the same. It's just endless emotional blankness instead of suffering. It sort of reinforces this feeling that I really screwed up my brain irreversibly by reinstating. The blunting started happening when I reinstated so I think some sort of kindling response happened.

14 minutes ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

This time however none of that is happening, and when I made dose reductions when I was tapering it would take a week or two for me to feel anything. It's like something shifted in my head when I reinstated Effexor and Zoloft and the nature of withdrawal is different now.

Maybe it's strange but because I'm not having any of those symptoms it doesn't "feel" like anything really changed when I went off meds. I mean I do have withdrawal symptoms like brain fog and DPDR but it doesn't feel the same. It's just endless emotional blankness instead of suffering. It sort of reinforces this feeling that I really screwed up my brain irreversibly by reinstating. The blunting started happening when I reinstated so I think some sort of kindling response happened.

I can relate to this! My brain feels altered. I woke up one day I noticed my brain was different… it was like 2-3 weeks after my last dose. Since this alteration I don’t feel any normal things in my brain, like bloodflow, dizziness, car sickness, normal headaches, dehydration headaches, alcohol effects, caffeine effects, tiredness, emotions, concentration, ideas, motivation, tension headaches….

In beginning of withdrawal I drank heavily one night… I didn’t know I would be in PAWS and thought I would be normal in a few days. I got a hangover but could not feel it…. It was blunted. Normally I have severe headaches and would feel nauseous and shaky. So weird…. I don’t drink anymore tho.

All I feel is this numb injured brain. Its like a blanket came over and blunts every normal sensation you would normally feel. It’s out of this world…. SO UNNATURAL.

Edited May 10May 10 by Sophia

11 months 2 weeks. For a couple of days I actually felt a bit of anxiety. It was only a little, but it was there. I had some OCD-ish thoughts about my personality. This severe emotional blunting really goes beyond just not being interested in your hobbies or work, it's like a completely erasure of your personality. It's like you're an alien and you stop being able to comprehend human things like beauty or humour or disgust. Has anyone else here felt like that? Anyway, I was doing some OCD-ish stuff like being hyperaware of my own thoughts and overanalyzing them to try and figure out if they were "real" thoughts or if I was only thinking them because I am so numb. It's hard to explain but being numb changes your perception of everything around you, and it makes me feel like I can't trust my own thoughts anymore, like I don't know what is "me" anymore.

I also had some anxious thoughts about my employment status. I told my mom that I would be living with her another year because my brain fog is still too bad. But what if another year passes and it hasn't gotten any better? I don't know if she will keep letting me live with her. I also don't know if it's good to just keep avoiding work forever. Maybe I will just try to force myself back to work. But how can I work with this brain fog? Not only that, how am I supposed to interact with other people while my personality is gone? I don't have any empathy or interests or opinions anymore. How am I supposed to hold a conversation?

Anyway, I had these thoughts for maybe a couple days, then they went away and now it's back to blankness. Again, it was only a little anxiety, nothing major. I hope maybe this is a sign that some emotions are coming back.

1 minute ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

11 months 2 weeks. For a couple of days I actually felt a bit of anxiety. It was only a little, but it was there. I had some OCD-ish thoughts about my personality. This severe emotional blunting really goes beyond just not being interested in your hobbies or work, it's like a completely erasure of your personality. It's like you're an alien and you stop being able to comprehend human things like beauty or humour or disgust. Has anyone else here felt like that? Anyway, I was doing some OCD-ish stuff like being hyperaware of my own thoughts and overanalyzing them to try and figure out if they were "real" thoughts or if I was only thinking them because I am so numb. It's hard to explain but being numb changes your perception of everything around you, and it makes me feel like I can't trust my own thoughts anymore, like I don't know what is "me" anymore.

I also had some anxious thoughts about my employment status. I told my mom that I would be living with her another year because my brain fog is still too bad. But what if another year passes and it hasn't gotten any better? I don't know if she will keep letting me live with her. I also don't know if it's good to just keep avoiding work forever. Maybe I will just try to force myself back to work. But how can I work with this brain fog? Not only that, how am I supposed to interact with other people while my personality is gone? I don't have any empathy or interests or opinions anymore. How am I supposed to hold a conversation?

Anyway, I had these thoughts for maybe a couple days, then they went away and now it's back to blankness. Again, it was only a little anxiety, nothing major. I hope maybe this is a sign that some emotions are coming back.

Yes, based on my work on SA and here, emotions, even negative ones, are a sign you're getting you're getting your feelings and perceptions back. It may not be pleasant to experience, but it will lead to better things!

3 hours ago, mstimc60 said:

Yes, based on my work on SA and here, emotions, even negative ones, are a sign you're getting you're getting your feelings and perceptions back. It may not be pleasant to experience, but it will lead to better things!

This was also my experience, and it seems to be common with others, as you've said.

Yes sounds familiar. I'd describe it as a confused/disoriented mind that tries to clarify/orient itself without success, in a loop.

Also at the start of this year I had some psychological tests done, including an IQ test. Surprisingly, even though I felt like I wasn't really present and did badly, I had an above average IQ score. The part where I thought I performed much worse, was only just a little bit worse, still above average. They concluded that intellectually there's nothing wrong. They gave the explanation; "Your hardware works fine, but it's the software where the problems arise." in this case.

And even though my subjective experience of myself and others is numb, others can still perceive (some of) my personality traits and they sometimes do call me out on them or verify them to me. Other people's opinion/view of me is much more favorable than what I experience.

1 hour ago, Vince said:

Also at the start of this year I had some psychological tests done, including an IQ test. Surprisingly, even though I felt like I wasn't really present and did badly, I had an above average IQ score. The part where I thought I performed much worse, was only just a little bit worse, still above average. They concluded that intellectually there's nothing wrong. They gave the explanation; "Your hardware works fine, but it's the software where the problems arise." in this case.

It feels like my brain fog is really bad but it kind of depends on what kind of task it is I'm trying to perform. Like I can usually play video games fine, even difficult ones, although my decision making might be a little slower. But when it comes to more open ended problems with no clear "correct" solutions or ones with a lot of abstract thinking I feel like I become a lot stupider

1 minute ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

It feels like my brain fog is really bad but it kind of depends on what kind of task it is I'm trying to perform. Like I can usually play video games fine, even difficult ones, although my decision making might be a little slower. But when it comes to more open ended problems with no clear "correct" solutions or ones with a lot of abstract thinking I feel like I become a lot stupider

This tells you distraction can work for you. If you're doing something you enjoy and that are structured, your brain fog seems to decrease. In more subjective situations, you have some trouble. That may be because your anxious mind is still having trouble processing your thoughts. But its a good sign that you can get into video games without too much trouble. Keep looking for things you enjoy and your brain fog may continue to improve!

Something I now realized when I was in withdrawal was that I was able to focus on things that I did enjoy. Things that I would consider "complex" like playing high-skill games or even learning the Unity dev kit to make VRChat avatars. Even now, I'm finding some certain game enjoyable lately and just "escaping" into that.

Unfortunately, that resulted me in procrastinating and avoiding things I couldn't do, like my job. So you might have to pace yourself a bit there.

9 hours ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

It feels like my brain fog is really bad but it kind of depends on what kind of task it is I'm trying to perform.

It was very much like this for me, once I was out of the first 6-8 months or so.

On 5/4/2026 at 8:34 AM, Sophia said:

I asked a Dutch psychiatrist and professor (Jim van Os)

What a sensible man, this Dr Jim van Os. 🥹

Thank you for sharing.

11 months 3 weeks. Just realized I have been counting 4 weeks as a month but real months vary in length so my counting is off. It's been more like 10 months 3 weeks. June 29th will be my one year anniversary from being off antidepressants. Gotta say, very dissapointed in my lack of progress so far. Basically none of my symptoms have really budged in a meaningful way. I wonder if tapering off Effexor actually made my blunting worse. Maybe I tapered too fast. I feel like it is worse compared to when I started tapering. Too late now I suppose.

I have been thinking about doing more exercise since I read that that can improve neuroplasticity. I have been jogging for 15 minutes every day on the treadmill but apparently that is not enough to support neuroplasticity. Apparently I need to do something like 30 minutes of aerobic exercise 5 times a day. I don't have any exercise intolerance like others here but I find the lack of motivation from emotional numbing makes pushing myself to do exercise difficult. Maybe I will try to slowly work my way up to 30 minutes. Apparently jogging is supposed to make you feel "good". I don't think I've every really experienced that in my life. I only did it because I had to. Maybe that is something the meds have been supressing my whole life and I've just never noticed it before.

I have been thinking about how long I am willing to endure this state. Maybe I will give it a total of 5 years of being off antidepressants, and if I'm still not better I will end things. I don't know if I have the willpower to do what needs to be done if it comes to that though.

Thank you for reading my weekly pointless vent post.

12 hours ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

Gotta say, very dissapointed in my lack of progress so far. Basically none of my symptoms have really budged in a meaningful way. I wonder if tapering off Effexor actually made my blunting worse. Maybe I tapered too fast. I feel like it is worse compared to when I started tapering. Too late now I suppose.

Im very sorry to hear you haven't made as much progress as you would have liked in the last 10/11 months, it is actually pretty common for this to happen. Looking at your signature your taper was much too fast, so yes that will likley not have helped. But as you say that was the past.

12 hours ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

have been thinking about doing more exercise since I read that that can improve neuroplasticity. I have been jogging for 15 minutes every day on the treadmill but apparently that is not enough to support neuroplasticity. Apparently I need to do something like 30 minutes of aerobic exercise 5 times a day. I don't have any exercise intolerance like others here but I find the lack of motivation from emotional numbing makes pushing myself to do exercise difficult. Maybe I will try to slowly work my way up to 30 minutes. Apparently jogging is supposed to make you feel "good". I don't think I've every really experienced that in my life. I only did it because I had to. Maybe that is something the meds have been supressing my whole life and I've just never noticed it before.

Be careful with the whole Neuroplasticity world, imo they come close to suggesting you can get yourself stuck in WD if you don't do enough. People heal even if they do nothing, the brain heals without them, alot of the information I hear coming from that end of the community sounds a lot like just resisiting acceptance and trying to do what we all do as humans and fix things, but we can't fix this. We must just get out the brains way by not adding to it with stress, other drugs etc.

Certainly a healthy lifestyle is advisable and if you can tolerate exercise than I would say go for it!

12 hours ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

I have been thinking about how long I am willing to endure this state. Maybe I will give it a total of 5 years of being off antidepressants, and if I'm still not better I will end things. I don't know if I have the willpower to do what needs to be done if it comes to that though.

Please try to learn to not think so far ahead. It can take some time for things to improve but improve they will. Don't set deadlines to this, just take one day at a time, eventually you start to feel better, it is impossible to say how long that will take, but normally it doesn't happen over night, slowly folk start to get a bit better, then a bit better still and slowly they realise they are doing kinda ok, often from there things improve further!

Hang in there, life is precious gift, I know things are tough atm, but you will recover.

Chippy

13 hours ago, GreggeryPeccary said:

I have been thinking about how long I am willing to endure this state. Maybe I will give it a total of 5 years of being off antidepressants, and if I'm still not better I will end things. I don't know if I have the willpower to do what needs to be done if it comes to that though.

There are very few people on this site who are past 3 years off and still suffering significantly.

It was the same for SA.

6 hours ago, Chippy said:

Be careful with the whole Neuroplasticity world, imo they come close to suggesting you can get yourself stuck in WD if you don't do enough. People heal even if they do nothing, the brain heals without them, alot of the information I hear coming from that end of the community sounds a lot like just resisiting acceptance and trying to do what we all do as humans and fix things, but we can't fix this. We must just get out the brains way by not adding to it with stress, other drugs etc.

I agree with this! This is just another version telling yourself you have to "fight" the thoughts and you've failed if you're not making clear and steady progress. Healing comes in its own time and at its own pace. Acceptance is key because it robs the thoughts of their power. Don't judge yourself by someone else's idea of progress.

9 hours ago, Chippy said:

Be careful with the whole Neuroplasticity world, imo they come close to suggesting you can get yourself stuck in WD if you don't do enough.

There are lots of good studies on the positive effects of exercise on the brain. I think it's a good thing to try. I do agree it probably won't fix me on it's own but it might help. But I do agree that people go overboard trying to "fix" themselves. I have seen a lot of wacky stuff people do to try and fix PSSD and withdrawal like taking anti-sezuire medication or trying homeopathy