17 hours ago, CharlotteGermany said:

I’m right there with you. I also doubt that anything can help me anymore.

 

I don't believe that.

 

Every drug change can cause further instability. Healing is possible but it can be interrupted by shaking everything up again, which you have been doing repeatedly.

 

You need to pick a plan, and stick with it for a considerable amount of time, not make another change every few weeks.

Dear@CharlotteGermany,

 

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. The akathisia and lack of sleep you’re describing sound absolutely unbearable. Anyone in that state would feel desperate and frightened.

 

I also hear what you’re clearly saying: that things were already getting worse before you tried the other medications. That matters. It makes sense that you were trying to find something to help, you were targeting your worst symptom (Akathisia), and not just changing things randomly or recklessly.

 

But your system does seem very sensitive right now. Even small changes—whether they helped or not—can make things feel more unstable for a while. That doesn’t mean you caused this, just that your body may need as much steadiness as possible at this time.

 

I want to gently say something important too. When you write things like “before I kill myself” or that everything is over, that’s a sign of how serious this has become. I know you had a traumatic experience as an inpatient, and it makes sense you’d be hesitant. But even so, this level of suffering really does call for support outside the forum, be it a different doctor, a clinic, or someone who can advocate for you. You deserve more help than just trying to get through this alone.

 

For now, the safest path might be to keep things as stable as you can, trying no new medications, no further changes for a while, and holding your current dosage and giving your system time.

 

I know that’s incredibly hard when you feel like this, because it feels like you have to do something to escape it. But sometimes the thing that helps most is reducing changes and letting your system settle, even if it doesn’t feel like progress right away.

 

You’re not beyond help, even if it feels that way. People can be this severe and still come through it with time and stability. Right now the most important things are: keeping yourself safe, giving your system a break from changes, and trying to get some real-world support around you, in whatever way feels possible.

 

Please let us know how you are doing when you can.

 

On 3/26/2026 at 9:54 AM, CharlotteGermany said:

but otherwise, our cases seem very, very different. I only say that because I’m convinced that withdrawal is not just one place, but very, very diverse. I mainly have massive psychological symptoms that are so extreme that I will probably need several long years. I just don’t have any strength left.

We all know how diverse the withdrawal experience can be from one member to the next. We also know from experience what things tend to make symptoms much worse. As someone going through it, the best we can do is have patience, keep doses as accurate as possible, not add any more meds, and try to focus on the smallest glimmers of hope. Even when we think there are no glimmers, there are if we think small enough. Lastly, we must endure. 
 

On 3/26/2026 at 9:54 AM, CharlotteGermany said:

I will probably need several long years.

This is true. It’s been over 6 years for me and I’m still suffering. It does get better as the years go by — I have to constantly remind myself of the improvements because some days it can still feel too heavy to bear.
 

Two questions:

1) are you weighing and counting your doses now?

2) have you made a list of your symptoms, rating each one daily? In my experience, this was the best way to find those glimmers. I think in the past you said you didn’t have enough strength to make this list and even if you did, the ratings would never change because your symptoms stay at the same intensity all day, every day.  It would seem very unlikely for symptoms to stay at the same level 24/7 for months at a time. 
 

Your best bet is to hold, keep things as stable as possible, and find those glimmers in the deepest darkness. 
 

I also encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional in person to address any suicidal urges.

Edited March 27Mar 27 by FindRest

On 3/26/2026 at 9:54 AM, CharlotteGermany said:

I mainly have massive psychological symptoms that are so extreme that I will probably need several long years. I just don’t have any strength left.

 

@CharlotteGermany,

 

I know it can feel like this could go on for years when symptoms are this intense, but it’s really not something anyone can predict. Even very severe cases can become better sooner than anyone could expect. Right now the focus is just getting you through this period safely.

3 minutes ago, Gaucho said:

 

@CharlotteGermany,

 

I know it can feel like this could go on for years when symptoms are this intense, but it’s really not something anyone can predict. Even very severe cases can become better sooner than anyone could expect. Right now the focus is just getting you through this period safely.

Thank you for supporting @CharlotteGermany, @Gaucho it’s very kind of you. I agree the body is an amazing powerful thing. Wise words.  

@CharlotteGermany Sending you my utmost support. i am so sorry that youre suffering so much. just know that suicide is not the answer, believe me i used to ruminate about suicide 24/7 when i was at my lowest in my own withdrawal but just know that those thoughts arent you. theyre only a manifestation of all of the suffering that youre going through. please hang in there and know that we are all rooting for you. im sure that with time youll be able to live comfortably again. 

My heart breaks for your suffering @CharlotteGermany I definitely agree with holding, you system needs stability without changes for a period.

may you get better as time goes, hold on, we are here for you.

On 3/28/2026 at 8:57 PM, Some0n3 said:

@CharlotteGermany Sending you my utmost support. i am so sorry that youre suffering so much. just know that suicide is not the answer, believe me i used to ruminate about suicide 24/7 when i was at my lowest in my own withdrawal but just know that those thoughts arent you. theyre only a manifestation of all of the suffering that youre going through. please hang in there and know that we are all rooting for you. im sure that with time youll be able to live comfortably again. 

Exactly. There is one thing these dirty drugs couldn’t reach: it’s our soul. It’s still here. Remember this constantly, your soul does not want death, you are not made for it, no one is. 
Time can heal everything. One should never underestimate its power. 
You are in my prayers.  
Courage. 🤍

@CharlotteGermany we are thinking about you, how are you?

@CharlotteGermany , I am so sorry for your terrible suffering. And as probably many others, I’m wondering how you are doing. let us know, we are thinking of you and hoping very much that you’re doing a little bit better at least.