Hi everyone. 52 y.o. man here. I’d like to thank everyone and mods for being here.

I’ve been on antidepressants for a very long time. 27 years to be exact. My regiment has always consisted of an SSRI and 2mg lorazepam. Every 2 to 4 years I would CT my antidepressant because I felt I didn’t need it anymore and I wanted to be off meds. A few weeks or a month later I would start feeling worse and think it was my “original condition” coming back. Not realising it was withdrawal every time.

Fast forward to December of 2023. That’s when I quit my Prozac CT. Nothing happened for about 3 months. And in March of 2024 I started experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. So I went back to my original 20mg. A week later my life as I knew it ended. I was having severe anxiety and panic attacks, DPDR. Admitted myself to a psych ward in April of that year. That’s where they tried to CT me off lorazepam and gave me Effexor. I thought I was going to die. It felt like I was electrocuted for 12 hours non stop. The most horrible vertigo the next day. Got out 5 days later.

Since then a dozen medications have been thrown at me. Including Lexapro, Depakote, Zyprexa, Trazadone, vistoril, Mirtazapine, Propranolol. All these meds were prescribed for a month or two and then discontinued. And I kept feeling worse and worse.

In January of this year I developed Akathisia while tapering Zyprexa. So my doctor told me to stop it. On February 20 I also reduced my Lexapro from 10mg to 5mg. And what followed was utter hell.

I believe what I’m experiencing is drug induced Parkinsonism.

That includes tremor in my legs and really all over my body, severe tightness in chest and abdomen, difficulty initiating movement, inner Akathisia, severe shortness of breath, dread and feeling of doom, I cry daily, SI.

It’s been about 3.5 months since any medication changes and I’m still not stabilising. Currently on 5mg Lexapro liquid.

I don’t think I can do this anymore. Please help!

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawl syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

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16 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

Hi everyone. 52 y.o. man here. I’d like to thank everyone and mods for being here.

Hey! good to have you here. It is a pleasure and I am glad you found us.

16 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

I’ve been on antidepressants for a very long time. 27 years to be exact. My regiment has always consisted of an SSRI and 2mg lorazepam. Every 2 to 4 years I would CT my antidepressant because I felt I didn’t need it anymore and I wanted to be off meds. A few weeks or a month later I would start feeling worse and think it was my “original condition” coming back. Not realising it was withdrawal every time.

This is such a common story, so many doctors, particularly in the US don't understand these drugs well, and think you can start and stop them, trying a new one looking for the perfect fit.

17 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

Fast forward to December of 2023. That’s when I quit my Prozac CT. Nothing happened for about 3 months. And in March of 2024 I started experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. So I went back to my original 20mg. A week later my life as I knew it ended. I was having severe anxiety and panic attacks, DPDR. Admitted myself to a psych ward in April of that year. That’s where they tried to CT me off lorazepam and gave me Effexor. I thought I was going to die. It felt like I was electrocuted for 12 hours non stop. The most horrible vertigo the next day. Got out 5 days later.

You may or may not know, but Prozac has a very long half life, so WD is very often delayed, hence the 3 months of nothing happening. Reinstating is best done as soon as possible after stopping, RI later is more risky, it can still be very successful though, but too a high a dose often makes things worse. We reccomend a low dose RI, which is seen to be much more successful.

Im so sorry for your experience in the Psych ward, again, they don't understand the drugs they are supposed to be experts in, and so your experience is very very common.

17 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

Since then a dozen medications have been thrown at me. Including Lexapro, Depakote, Zyprexa, Trazadone, vistoril, Mirtazapine, Propranolol. All these meds were prescribed for a month or two and then discontinued. And I kept feeling worse and worse.

In January of this year I developed Akathisia while tapering Zyprexa. So my doctor told me to stop it. On February 20 I also reduced my Lexapro from 10mg to 5mg. And what followed was utter hell.

Again more of the same, doctors seeking the solutions, but actually causing more harm.

17 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

I believe what I’m experiencing is drug induced Parkinsonism.

What you are actually experiencing is severe nervous system dysfunction caused by many year of the use of Psych drugs, many CTs and dose shifts and changes, each one of these creates kindling of the nervous system. Hypersensitivity and kindling

 

17 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

That includes tremor in my legs and really all over my body, severe tightness in chest and abdomen, difficulty initiating movement, inner Akathisia, severe shortness of breath, dread and feeling of doom, I cry daily, SI.

I am very very sorry for what you are going through, all of what you descibed is typical of the acute stage of a dysregulated nervous system.

What to do next is up to you. You have been through an awful lot. There are two main things that have happened here.

Some of what you are experiencing is WD, the brain missing one or many of the drugs you have taken and taking time to adapt to the drug being missing. Adding back in the drug can help reduce those symptoms. Obviously you have been on many drugs over the years so working out what is causing what is impossible.

You are still on 5mg of Lexapro and reducing from 10mg was a big shock to the system, so it is important for you to hold this dose steady so your brain can adjust to the lower dose. I would not suggest increasing the dose this far out. Can I ask how you take your 5mg dose? Are you cutting a 10mg pill in half? If so you should buy a set of Micro scales and weigh your dose. Cutting pills in half is very inaccurate and an accurate dose will help you stablise. Have a read of our document on making up small doses. Preparing Doses for Tapering - Weighing & DIY Liquids

You say you tapered olanzapine/Zyprexa starting in Sept, this taper was likley too fast. So you could try to RI a small dose of the drug to see it this helps. You were prescribed it for sleep, I notice you had a short run of Mirtazapine, Mirt has a habit of messing with peoples sleep when its stopped ubruptly, but then all psych drugs tend to mess with sleep so it is no surprise to me you are having issues sleeping. Given the complexity of your situation I don't think I would RI Zyprexa if it were me, but you could try a small micro amount if you wanted, we would help you do this if you choose to. This is our guide to RI an AD but the same applies with an antipsychotic. Reinstating an Antidepressant

The main thing you are experiencing is more of an injury caused by kindling, this takes time to heal, but the nervous does heal, it does this in a non linear pattern of better and worse symptoms we refer to as windows and waves. The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

Stablisation can take a really long time, so I would suggest you stay as you are for many more months to come until things settle down for you. Lexapro is a very strong drug these last 5mg are doing alot of heavy lifting, it needs to be tapered very carefully from a postion of stablity.

Here are some useful links you might like to read:

Tapering Information

Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

Sleep in WD

Medications, Supplements and Other Substances in Withdrawal

Being a human, and dealing with emotions in WD

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

Chippy

Welcome to the forum.

@Chippy has already given you a comprehensive answer with various options to consider.

While we wait for that, I just want to add that recovery is possible, and I've seen stories of others in the past who have stabilised and then recovered after similar experiences.

Hi @Dnepr1234. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’ve had a similar experience to you over the past year and a bit. I had been on Cymbalta for over 10 years, then came off really fast and went into withdrawal that was misdiagnosed as my original condition significantly worsening. I then had a bunch of different drugs thrown at me to try to fix things, resulting in a bunch of strange new symptoms.

I’ve now been holding for about 7 weeks but haven’t stabilized yet. I think it makes sense, given everything our nervous systems have been through, that it may take a long time for everything to settle down. But based on everything I’ve learned from others here, I think we will recover with enough time.

I just wanted to let you know that you are absolutely not alone, and you can get through this.

Hello Chippy and Luke, I would like to thank you for responding, it means a lot. I will definitely not RI Zyprexa. It gave me horrible Akathisia. Once I stopped it I was barely sleeping 1 hour a night. That has improved in the last month and a half. I now average about 6 hours. But I wake up with a terrible cortisol/adrenaline rush and feel as if I hadn’t slept at all.

It is difficult to gauge but I think some of the symptoms have improved. Symptoms like tremors and Akathisia. But I still experience them internally.

The plan is to wait till the end of August early September and see if there will be any improvement/stabilization.

Q: how do I tag someone?

Thank you

Hi @SarahMc Thank you for stopping by. And your encouragement. My situation is dire, I am spending my days in my bedroom. Unable to go outside for the past 3 weeks. My symptoms are very debilitating. That includes anxiety, wired electrical feeling in my body, severe abdominal and chest tightness and pain, DPDR. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

Please look into dangers of antipsychotics. Perhaps you’ll want to address Seroquel as soon as possible. I wish you a speedy recovery. Thanks again

9 hours ago, Chippy said:

Can I ask how you take your 5mg dose?

Hi @Chippy i take my Lexapro in liquid. I switched to liquid about 4 months ago. Last time I saw my doctor and complained about my symptoms she said I need to boost my dopamine. So instructed me to stop Lexapro CT and start Wellbutrin. That’s when I knew I won’t be seeing her anymore. I need to find a new doctor. Luckily I have enough of this poison to last me a couple of months.

36 minutes ago, Dnepr1234 said:

My situation is dire, I am spending my days in my bedroom. Unable to go outside for the past 3 weeks.

I’m sorry you’re suffering so much. If you’ve looked at my topic I’m sure you’ve seen that my symptoms are different from yours and not quite as severe. But if you read people’s stories here and on Surviving Antidepressants you’ll certainly find others who have been housebound and gone on to recover. I know it’s hard to feel hope in the middle of this struggle, but I believe you can recover.

47 minutes ago, Dnepr1234 said:

Please look into dangers of antipsychotics. Perhaps you’ll want to address Seroquel as soon as possible

I think looking into this right now would be too much of a trigger for me, but earlier in this whole process when I was spending a lot of time on Reddit (never again) I did stumble across some info about the risks of antipsychotics.

I tried to come off seroquel very quickly a few months ago and got hit with bad insomnia on top of all my other WD symptoms, so I reinstated 12.5 mg to try to stabilize. It’s a much lower dose than I had been taking. My intention is to stabilize here, and then once I’m stable to taper seroquel first. Looking back, I’m pretty certain that seroquel was starting to have negative impacts on my metabolism even before the horrors of the past year or so.

I am sorry @SarahMc I did not mean for it to be a trigger. I’m glad you’re not experiencing severe debilitating symptoms. Tread carefully. Thanks

@Dnepr1234 Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your story.

No matter what, you will make it out and heal and become better and better with time, people survived all sorts of shit, you can see people who went on 30 different drugs for decades and quit them all and survived.

Your symptoms might trick you to think your life is over, but im gonna assure you it's not over, people heal and become better.

Now I recommend trying to learn to be more mindful (obviously hard with all the symptoms you have but practice makes perfect), so practice accepting your symptoms and accepting what's happening, and even if you don't accept your symptoms, accept the situation being unacceptable, you want to ride your symptoms and work with them instead of resist them.

Meditation practice could help with acceptance, could be more hard with all the symptoms, but sessions of 5-10 minutes of focusing on your breath as much as possible, and slowly try to learn to unattach from everything (wether feelings, health condition, etc).

Another thing I would recommend with very severe symptoms is, just surrender to them, and let them do as they want, give them what they want, try to not resist them as much as possible, again, work with them, as if you try to resist, they will happen anyway and maybe even in a worse way.

Feel free to check my coping topics as well as others.

I will be thinking of you like i do with others in my meditations 🙏

Hi @Lighty thanks for comforting words, please keep me in your thoughts. I could use all the support I can get. I wish you a speedy healing. ❤️

17 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

would like to thank you for responding, it means a lot.

It is a pleasure, I wish we could do more for you.

17 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

I will definitely not RI Zyprexa. It gave me horrible Akathisia. Once I stopped it I was barely sleeping 1 hour a night. That has improved in the last month and a half. I now average about 6 hours. But I wake up with a terrible cortisol/adrenaline rush and feel as if I hadn’t slept at all.

I think this is a good idea. Im pleased sleep has improved for you. Sleep is seen to be the last thing to improve/fully resolve, so the fact it is this much better already is a great sign. I get that whole sleeping but waking and feeling like you have not slept vibe, I get this too some days.

17 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

It is difficult to gauge but I think some of the symptoms have improved. Symptoms like tremors and Akathisia. But I still experience them internally.

The plan is to wait till the end of August early September and see if there will be any improvement/stabilization.

Good to see, although I know things are still really tough for you. I think holding is a very wise move indeed. Some hold for a year - 18 months, the thing is to try not to rush off the drug and end up in pwd, you want to be more stable before starting to reduce, tapering whilst experiencing severe or even moderate wd symptoms is never a good idea unless the drug has gone paradoxical on you, which isn't the case for most.

14 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

Hi @Chippy i take my Lexapro in liquid. I switched to liquid about 4 months ago. Last time I saw my doctor and complained about my symptoms she said I need to boost my dopamine. So instructed me to stop Lexapro CT and start Wellbutrin. That’s when I knew I won’t be seeing her anymore. I need to find a new doctor. Luckily I have enough of this poison to last me a couple of months.

Ok thats good, at least you are getting a consistent dose, yes you only need your doctor for prescriptions at this point, so whatever you need to do to get the refills, do that imo.

Hi @Chippy thanks for responding. I am a bit at a loss and need your opinion on this. I’ve already been seen by 3 psychiatrists in the past 2 years and none of them understood any of what’s going on. I just scheduled an appointment with a new one.

But I doubt this one will be any different. I would like anybody’s opinion whoever is going to read this. How should I approach them? Should I tell them everything I’ve learned so far? And try to get them to understand that all of this is drug induced. That I don’t want any medication changes for a while. And then eventually I will start tapering. Or should I say nothing of that sort and just get my prescription?

Thanks

16 minutes ago, Dnepr1234 said:

Hi @Chippy thanks for responding. I am a bit at a loss and need your opinion on this. I’ve already been seen by 3 psychiatrists in the past 2 years and none of them understood any of what’s going on. I just scheduled an appointment with a new one.

But I doubt this one will be any different. I would like anybody’s opinion whoever is going to read this. How should I approach them? Should I tell them everything I’ve learned so far? And try to get them to understand that all of this is drug induced. That I don’t want any medication changes for a while. And then eventually I will start tapering. Or should I say nothing of that sort and just get my prescription?

Thanks

Pleasure. I wouldn't expect them to understand what has happened to you, some are more knowledgeable, but most are not. It is important to not get into a situation where they decide to change your drugs to try to help you in some way. It is generally better for them to think things are going ok and just use them to get your prescriptions IMO.

27 minutes ago, Dnepr1234 said:

How should I approach them? Should I tell them everything I’ve learned so far? And try to get them to understand that all of this is drug induced. That I don’t want any medication changes for a while. And then eventually I will start tapering. Or should I say nothing of that sort and just get my prescription

I can tell you about my experience — to the extent it’s not helpful, of course feel free to disregard!

I’m seeing a psychiatrist now for the first time in my life. I started seeing him in late Dec 2025 after my family doctor and my psychologist suggested it might be necessary. At that point, multiple med changes had not helped me (in fact had made me worse) and I still didn’t understand that what I was going through was in fact withdrawal/kindling caused by the med changes themselves.

When I started seeing my psychiatrist and told him how I was feeling he basically immediately said “ok, the meds you’re taking aren’t working” and changed them yet again. After that didn’t help, and in fact caused new physical symptoms, I started to strongly suspect all the med changes were harming me. I’ve asked him about this several times and he has been extremely dismissive. So I’ve started telling him that my current meds have had positive effects and that I’m (very slowly) starting to feel better so that he’ll keep me on them.

My psychologist, who is at least open the idea that the med changes have harmed me, has suggested that I could change psychiatrists. But where I live, it takes a long time to see a new psychiatrist and of course the chances are any new psychiatrist also wouldn’t believe that the meds are the culprit here. I can’t risk seeing a new psychiatrist who insists on changing meds yet again, so I’m basically sticking with the devil I know and telling him what he wants to hear so he keeps prescribing the same meds.

Best of luck with your appointment.

@SarahMc thank you very much for your reply. I will probably do the same thing.

@Dnepr1234 Welcome ...my goodness it's not surprising your body is reacting the way it is all those meds and changes and I don't mean to sound harsh but sympathetic....i really do feel for you. In my opinion do not say anything just get your prescription, they will not understand and will just pull you off one and put you on another that's all they know ,treating the symptoms 🙄......you are going through hell at the moment and your body is crying out for stability. Please do as much self care as you can to help it along. Be kind to yourself try to eat clean try to reduce stress try to not overthink or overreact to the symptoms, try breathing techniques, meditation ,Epsom Salts bath ( notice I said try ) whatever you are going through its just (sorry) total nervous system deregulation..yes its hell yes its a horror movie you can't get out of but ultimately if you can take care of yourself and not make any changes and hold onto just getting to the end of the day ,your body will find some stability. Please believe this is not forever and your body is struggling to find homeostasis and it will as the body has an amazing capacity for it ❤️

Thank you @Chippy @SarahMc and @Beehive what you are suggesting makes sense. I will try not to sound so dramatic and tell them what they want to hear. It is so frustrating that the only person you expect to understand has been trained specifically not to understand.

Thanks

15 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

Thank you @Chippy @SarahMc and @Beehive what you are suggesting makes sense. I will try not to sound so dramatic and tell them what they want to hear. It is so frustrating that the only person you expect to understand has been trained specifically not to understand.

Thanks

You'll find that many here can relate to this.

I am dying today. Last 2-3 days were somewhat bearable. Waves were not as severe and I had some dirty windows.

Last night only slept 3.5-4 hours. And now I’m in severe wave. Feel like I’m being covered by a wet blanket. Can barely move, breathing is labored, electricity running through my body. Sitting on the floor feeling like a zombie. It feels endless. I’m desperate!!!

1 hour ago, Dnepr1234 said:

I am dying today. Last 2-3 days were somewhat bearable. Waves were not as severe and I had some dirty windows.

Last night only slept 3.5-4 hours. And now I’m in severe wave. Feel like I’m being covered by a wet blanket. Can barely move, breathing is labored, electricity running through my body. Sitting on the floor feeling like a zombie. It feels endless. I’m desperate!!!

Sorry to read. Hang onto the last few days being more bearable. This is a very good sign and there will be more of this to come. As you know windows and waves are a real part of the healing trajectory but I appreciate that doesn’t make the waves any easier.

When things are at their worse I do think distraction is the best course of action, doesn’t make it comfortable but just anything to pass the time and take focus off the symptoms has helped me a lot.

Hi @Dnepr1234 , my name is Spiro - I just ready your story and I want to tell you how incredibly sorry I am!

Like yourself I have been pollydrugged to high hell!! After I went off my Zoloft last year I was put on. Seroquel 200mg, lithium 150mg and gabapentin 600mg.

I was told to only take the Seroquel for 2 months. And in last December started coming off of it. In January when I hit 25mg I went nuts (to put it lightly) terrible akathesia, SI, dissociation, anxiety, heart splitting depression, dpdr, I literally thought o was loosing touch with reality! I was ripped off the lithium and given one dose of zyprexa. It went from bad to worse!! Which at the time I didn’t think was possible.

From there I was put in a psych ward where o was put on Lamotrogine, Zoloft, Seroquel increased back to 200. The second night I was there they gave me an injection of Geodon - I had Akathesia for three weeks , extreme dissociation. It felt like I was going to split in half my SI was so bad I really don’t know how I survived.

I was then out for 3 weeks and I just wanted to be done with it all.

My family put me into a rehabilitation facility where I was taken off the gabapentin, Seroquel dropped to 75mg , Lamotrogine dropped, and they added 1mg clonazepam.

Over the last 5 months I’ve experienced things I didn’t know was in the realm of human possibility. When I look at the whole thing from an objective point of view I shudder.

I am by no means better and I have a long rd ahead of me with stabilizing/ tapering etc but I have some moments where I feel 60% myself.

I know the both of us will get through this no matter how hard and rocky the rd may seem.

Please reach out if you need any support.

Thank you @Chippy for your kind words and encouragement. I appreciate everything you guys do more than you’ll ever know. Please keep an eye on me

Hi @SpiroC I’m very thankful for your words and your support. I read your story and indeed it is very similar to mine. It is a tragedy what happened to us. I am currently in severe wave that started this morning. I feel like a rotten vegetable with SI, crying my eyes out. I will respond to your thread when and if I ever feel better.

@Dnepr1234 - one day at a time ! You will feel better. Will keep you in my prayers 🙏