Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

The Antidepressant Harm and Recovery Forum

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Dnepr1234: Hanging on for dear life

Featured Replies

@Dnepr1234 You hanging in there?

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

  • Replies 59
  • Views 911
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Dnepr1234
    Dnepr1234

    Hi everyone. Just an update. I’m having a good day today. Yesterday was hell. Today is a nice window. Thank God! Don’t know how long it will last. But I’ll take it. I wish I could share it with everyo

  • Dnepr1234
    Dnepr1234

    Thank you @Chippy @SarahMc and @Beehive what you are suggesting makes sense. I will try not to sound so dramatic and tell them what they want to hear. It is so frustrating that the only person you exp

  • Dnepr1234
    Dnepr1234

    I am dying today. Last 2-3 days were somewhat bearable. Waves were not as severe and I had some dirty windows. Last night only slept 3.5-4 hours. And now I’m in severe wave. Feel like I’m being cover

  • Author

Yes, thank you for asking @Finni . Last two days were very rough. These waves do not seem to ease up yet. My Friday window was beautiful but short lived. Yesterday and today brutal. Inner Akathisia, terror, crying and the rest.

How are you? How is your day? Hope it gets easier for all of us.

Praying 🙏

1998 -1999 Paxil CT after 5 months.

1999 - 2024 every 2 to 4 years went from one SSRI to the next. That includes Luvox, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro.

2000-2024 lorazepam 2mg.

April 2024 one dose of Effexor, July 2024 one dose of Paxil, July 2024 two weeks of Mirtazapine. September 2024 Lexapro 10mg, Depakote 250mg, Vistaril 25 mg ,Proppranolol 10mg, Requip 2mg Trazadone. March 2025 off Depakote,Propranolol,vistaril,Trazadon.

March 2025 Zyprexa added at 2.5 mg.”for sleep and anxiety”. Went up to 7.5mg in June.

September 2025 started tapering Zyprexa and Requip.

February 2026 off of Zyprexa and Requip. Reduced Lexapro to 5mg

7/11/2026-4.5mg

5 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

My Friday window was beautiful but short lived.

@Dnepr1234 I am so pleased to read of this window for you. Fantastic news, there will be more. Healing is happening. :)

I’m not a medical professional and cannot offer medical advice. I only offer my thoughts as support. Please speak to your health practitioner about your care. This is a peer site where we support each other on our taper/recovery journeys. 

 

If you are from the UK please make sure you fill in a 'Yellow Card' report for the MHRA. It is you doing your bit to help make a difference.

Please take the time to do it today 🙂 https://yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk

For US members details here.

9 hours ago, Dnepr1234 said:

Yes, thank you for asking @Finni . Last two days were very rough. These waves do not seem to ease up yet. My Friday window was beautiful but short lived. Yesterday and today brutal. Inner Akathisia, terror, crying and the rest.

How are you? How is your day? Hope it gets easier for all of us.

Praying 🙏

I know you are beyond ready for those windows to lengthen. I’m glad you had a beautiful day Friday. 🌿🤗

I’m on a strange cycle that has been there for a long time, but just not this intense. Inner aka is part of it, ter*or, big vestibular sxs, then it moves to muscle tightness, diaphragm involvement, hard to breathe, head pressure. Then after my body goes through that 2 day cycle I sometimes have a dirty window for several hours in the evening where I feel like myself even with some electricity and vestibular stuff.

Edited by Finni

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

  • 2 weeks later...

Hi, @Dnepr1234

How’s it going?

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

  • Author

Hi dear @Finni, thank you for asking. My pattern remains the same. 1-2 day window followed by 3-4 day wave. In the window most of my symptoms go away except brain fog. I feel 80% myself, feel comfortable in my own skin. Able to watch a movie, play video games, drive to the store.

In a wave I feel paralyzed by dread, gloom, misery. Internal Akathisia, electric sensation in my body is relentless. I cry a lot. Sorry for bad news.

1998 -1999 Paxil CT after 5 months.

1999 - 2024 every 2 to 4 years went from one SSRI to the next. That includes Luvox, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro.

2000-2024 lorazepam 2mg.

April 2024 one dose of Effexor, July 2024 one dose of Paxil, July 2024 two weeks of Mirtazapine. September 2024 Lexapro 10mg, Depakote 250mg, Vistaril 25 mg ,Proppranolol 10mg, Requip 2mg Trazadone. March 2025 off Depakote,Propranolol,vistaril,Trazadon.

March 2025 Zyprexa added at 2.5 mg.”for sleep and anxiety”. Went up to 7.5mg in June.

September 2025 started tapering Zyprexa and Requip.

February 2026 off of Zyprexa and Requip. Reduced Lexapro to 5mg

7/11/2026-4.5mg

11 minutes ago, Dnepr1234 said:

Hi dear @Finni, thank you for asking. My pattern remains the same. 1-2 day window followed by 3-4 day wave. In the window most of my symptoms go away except brain fog. I feel 80% myself, feel comfortable in my own skin. Able to watch a movie, play video games, drive to the store.

In a wave I feel paralyzed by dread, gloom, misery. Internal Akathisia, electric sensation in my body is relentless. I cry a lot. Sorry for bad news.

It’s okay! I’m just so happy you’re having good windows.

Sounds like your cns is on the Heaven/Hell plan.

For US members: Please report med to FDA Med Watch

2017 (May) - Ativan .5 mg (3 x Daily) 

2018 (Feb) - Mirtazapine 7.5 mg 

2018 (May) - Ativan to Valium - Switch - Can’t Remember how long it took -tapered to 3 mg of Valium

2024 (May) - Valium Tolerance

2024 (2 Nov) - Completed taper off Valium 

2024 (2 Nov) - Mirtazapine increased to 15 mg

2025 (Feb) - Ativan 0.25 mg (3 x Daily) - Became Paradoxical - Started weaning got to 0.11mg

2025 (Mar) - Ativan 0mg - CT In detox

2025 (April) Started Depakote 1500mg - In detox

2025 (April) - Depakote 500mg (2 x Daily) once home

2025 (Aug) - Completed taper off Depakote

2025 (Aug) - Akathisia surges throughout the day with calming in between

2025 (Sept) - Gabapentin (Micro Dose) - Was calming at first and then became paradoxical so stop

2025 (Oct) - Depakote - RI – (Two days of small dose) Became scared and stopped with WD & aka

2025 (Oct) - Seroquel 50 mg XR – 1 Week - more and more activating and increased aka

2025 (Oct) - Psychiatrist told me to stop it. But I took a few days of a smaller dose of IR then stopped - Not activating

2025 (Nov) - Hydroxyzine 2.5mg - it was paradoxical so stopped

2025 (1 Dec) - Mirtazapine 22.5mg - (2 Days) Was incredibly overstimulating started reducing to previous

2025 (3 Dec) - Mirtazapine 18.75mg

2025 (10 Dec) - Mirtazapine 16.87mg

2025 (22 Dec) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (23Jan) - Mirtazapine 14.7mg

2026 (23 Jan) - Mirtazapine 1mg Panic dose

2026 (24 Jan) - Mirtazapine 15mg

2026 (25 Feb) – Mirtazapine 14.7mg (-2%)

2026 (18 Mar) - propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (21 Mar)- Mirtazapine- 15 mg accidentally in sleepy state

2026 (22 Mar) - Mirtazapine 14.79 mg (more accurate scales) 

2026 (29 April) Mirtazapine 14.7 mg (on suggestion of Horowitz) immediate intense symptoms

2026 (30 April) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg

2026 (23 May) propranolol 2.5 mg one time

2026 (01 June) Mirtazapine 14.79 mg dose was 5 hours late

 

 

  • Author

Have a question. How do I update my signature? When I go to my profile I don’t see that option.

Thanks

1998 -1999 Paxil CT after 5 months.

1999 - 2024 every 2 to 4 years went from one SSRI to the next. That includes Luvox, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro.

2000-2024 lorazepam 2mg.

April 2024 one dose of Effexor, July 2024 one dose of Paxil, July 2024 two weeks of Mirtazapine. September 2024 Lexapro 10mg, Depakote 250mg, Vistaril 25 mg ,Proppranolol 10mg, Requip 2mg Trazadone. March 2025 off Depakote,Propranolol,vistaril,Trazadon.

March 2025 Zyprexa added at 2.5 mg.”for sleep and anxiety”. Went up to 7.5mg in June.

September 2025 started tapering Zyprexa and Requip.

February 2026 off of Zyprexa and Requip. Reduced Lexapro to 5mg

7/11/2026-4.5mg

Hi @Dnepr1234,

Go to your account in the upper right corner > Go to "account settings" > "settings area" > then at the bottom of the menu that rolls open, you'll find "signature".

Took trazodone from June 2023 to November 2023. Didn't notice any withdrawal symptoms when I came off.

 

2023-07-04: started taking paroxetine, 20 mg.

2023-07-30: increased dose to 30 mg.

2023-08-26: lowered dose to 20 mg.

2024-03-21: lowered dose to 10 mg.

2024-07-10: lowered dose to 5 mg.

2024-07-26: 0 mg

 

2024-08-14: reinstated on another AD, this time 10 mg of escitalopram.

2024-11-24: lowered dose to 7.5 mg.

2025-01-15: lowered dose to 5 mg.

2025-03-01: lowered dose to 3.75 mg. (with pill cutter)

2025-03-26: lowered dose to 2.5 mg. (with pill cutter)

2025-04-23: lowered dose to 1.25 mg. (with pill cutter)

2025-05-24: 0 mg

 

Started Rosuvastatin in October 2024 due to high cholesterol. On a break from this med from April 2026 until July 2026.

 

Current supplements: None at the moment

  • Author

Thank you very much @Niels91 🙏

1998 -1999 Paxil CT after 5 months.

1999 - 2024 every 2 to 4 years went from one SSRI to the next. That includes Luvox, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro.

2000-2024 lorazepam 2mg.

April 2024 one dose of Effexor, July 2024 one dose of Paxil, July 2024 two weeks of Mirtazapine. September 2024 Lexapro 10mg, Depakote 250mg, Vistaril 25 mg ,Proppranolol 10mg, Requip 2mg Trazadone. March 2025 off Depakote,Propranolol,vistaril,Trazadon.

March 2025 Zyprexa added at 2.5 mg.”for sleep and anxiety”. Went up to 7.5mg in June.

September 2025 started tapering Zyprexa and Requip.

February 2026 off of Zyprexa and Requip. Reduced Lexapro to 5mg

7/11/2026-4.5mg

Create an account or sign in to comment

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.