Hello everyone,

I was on escitalopram 10 mg (and citalopram) for about 10 years.

I had tried to stop the medication three times before, but each attempt lasted only a few days.

Last year I decided to taper off more gradually. I reduced the dose every few weeks. Went from escitalopram to citalopram to get as little dose as possible. Toward the end, I was taking 2.5 mg of citalopram every other day, and eventually every few days. I now realize that this was not a good way to taper. Overall it took approximately 4-5 months?

During the taper I had some anxiety, but it eventually passed. About 6 weeks after my last dose, I suddenly developed vertigo. I ended up in the ER twice. I also experienced "rubbery" arms and legs, strange sensations inside my head, brain fog etc. The dizziness became more of a odd sensations in my head, especially when moving my head or when I was in places with a lot of visual stimulation, such as shopping centres.

After about 4 weeks of dizziness, I developed severe anxiety, depression, insomnia, and tinnitus. The dizziness gradually improved, and I had some windows and waves with the anxiety, but I was absolutely terrified. I exercised almost every day (running and going to the gym) to cope with all of that. Which could worsen my symptomps?

Overall, I think I was improving very slowly. However, after reading posts saying that recovery can sometimes take years, I became very frightened and decided to try reinstatement.

Was it too late for me to reinstate?

It had been about 4 months since my last 2.5 mg dose of citalopram. Four days ago I reinstated, but I accidentally took 2.5 mg for the first three days because I diluted the solution incorrectly. I'm overwhelmed and made a mistake.

By the third day, my anxiety and depression became overwhelming. I'm wondering whether this could have been an adverse reaction to a dose that was too high for my now sensitized nervous system.

Today (day 4) I reduced the dose to approximately 0.6 mg.

What would you recommend please?

• Should I continue at this lower dose and wait?

• Should I stop the reinstatement?

• Has anyone experienced something similar after reinstating?

I'm extremely scared. Sometimes i feel like I am going to die and i'm losing hope.

Thank you very much for reading.

Edited July 23Jul 23 by Lighty

Welcome to the forum!

 

This is a volunteer-run, community forum aimed at helping those who are tapering and/or experiencing difficulties with psychiatric medications and withdrawl syndrome. We are not medical professionals and cannot offer medical advice. We simply offer support and opinions which you could use as talking points with a medical provider knowledgeable in withdrawing off psychiatric medications.

 

Please familiarise yourself with the forum rules and the disclaimer located here: Guidelines

 

Please make sure your signature is kept up to date with your drug history. This will allow members to see some basic information about your drug history and situation so that they may help you best. Information on how to do this is located in the FAQs section above, but here is a direct link: Update Signature

Once this is done, future posts made by you will have this signature turned on by default. For this reason please keep it clear but condensed as possible.

Please use the format outline here Preferred signature/drug history format

I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you've had recently you will find plenty of support here for sure.

So as we have talked in private messages, I talked to you about how reinstating can be a risk, and the risk is higher the longer it's been since stopping the drug, you can either decide to just stop the reinstatement, or if wanting to reinstate, go on a low dose such as 0.5mg, If symptoms are tolerable enough, I recommend just being off the drug.

Reinstating an Antidepressant

Here are some topics regarding coping methods:

Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

Being a human, and dealing with emotions in WD

Lighty's Mindset Strategy

Breath And Meditation

1 hour ago, Lukas92 said:

I'm extremely scared. Sometimes i feel like I am going to die and i'm losing hope.

You will go through this and thrive, it's scary cause it's new and you are essentially into the unknown, I'm telling you, you will heal regardless, just be gentle on yourself and support your body.

 

In the mean time this is what I would do if I were you:

 

-Stay Hydrated 

 

-Eat a good clean whole food diet, avoiding processed foods and sugars.

 

-Stay away from caffeine, alcohol and antihistamines and any other psychoactive substances.

 

Supplements are to be avoided initially, as they often irritate our nervous systems. Try to get your nutrition through food.

 

Down the line, you may wish to introduce Fish Oil and Magnesium. Those who can tolerate them have found them calming to the nervous system. Be careful try one at a time and start low and see how you get on should you choose to try them.

 

A daily walk is very important as much as you can manage, if you can manage it. Gets you your fresh air and Vitamin D does wonders for your mind!

 

You are very welcome here and I hope you find the site supportive.

Edited July 23Jul 23 by Lighty

Thank you Lighty. I also forgot to mention that i will have a surgery in 3 months. Can this be harmful? If i want to stop my reinstatement, can i do it tomorrow?

Just now, Lukas92 said:

Can this be harmful?

It could be but there is no certainty if it will cause more issues or not with your nervous system. In my opinion it's better to get the surgery only if it's necessary.

1 minute ago, Lukas92 said:

If i want to stop my reinstatement, can i do it tomorrow?

since you only took your reinstatement for 4-5 days, you can just stop it. just don't go back on the drug after stopping as it can irritate the nervous system further if you go on and off the drug.

I feel really terrible these 2 days. My anxiety is really horrible. What could possibly happen and will it go away? I think it was worsened by reinstatement. I took alprazolam 0.25 mg and it didn’t hlep today or i felt worse? It don’t know. can i use it occasionally? I know that it is addictive, but if i am careful?

13 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

I feel really terrible these 2 days. My anxiety is really horrible. What could possibly happen and will it go away? I think it was worsened by reinstatement.

assuming it got worsened by your reinstatement, i would say your anxiety might be aggravated for a bit from the drug changes and the drug being present again.

The drug can take 7-10 days to be mostly cleared out by the body, so it is gonna take a bit of time until the drug isn't there anymore.

17 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

I took alprazolam 0.25 mg and it didn’t hlep today or i felt worse? It don’t know. can i use it occasionally? I know that it is addictive, but if i am careful?

You could react paradoxically to a benzo so it would make sense if it made you worse. In WD your nervous system becomes more aggravated and can tolerate less things than before.

We do not recommend using more psych drugs, they could further irritate the nervous system and also cause dependency, which would make the situation worse and more complex. Even if they help and cause no issues, you would just have another drug you need to taper in the future, which could be hard.

Hi @Lukas92 and welcome to the forum I am glad you found us.

I am sorry to read about everything you have been through. Switching from one drug to another no matter how related they are is never advised. You have been through several Cts from what I am reading, and a fast taper with intermittent dosing at the end. All unfortunately events which will upset your nervous system.

I am hearted to read you felt windows of things being a bit easier before your RI. That was a good sign.

I don't think RI was necessarily a bad idea, it can worsen you but by starting very low you mitigate that risk. As you note you started too high and your system clearly did not like that.

What you do now is completely up to you. I agree with Lighty you could make either choice, stop the rI or hold the dose here at 0.6mg. The most important thing to do now however is to stick to your guns on which ever choice you make. Moving doses around causes such upset to an already destabilised nervous system, try not to make rash choices.

I know its hard and you are scared, but your body can recover from this. There are no quick fixes unfortunately, whilst a benzo can ease the activation it can also upset a nervous system that is very destablised. We always advice to not add fuel to the fire.

The big thing is to look into coping skills particularly acceptance and distraction. It is amazing what we can cope with when we start to understand these ideas. Not to say things won't get easier for you, they will, just to say whilst things are hard we need to have these skills under our belt to help pass the time whilst we heal.

Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

2 hours ago, Chippy said:

Hi @Lukas92 and welcome to the forum I am glad you found us.

I am sorry to read about everything you have been through. Switching from one drug to another no matter how related they are is never advised. You have been through several Cts from what I am reading, and a fast taper with intermittent dosing at the end. All unfortunately events which will upset your nervous system.

I am hearted to read you felt windows of things being a bit easier before your RI. That was a good sign.

I don't think RI was necessarily a bad idea, it can worsen you but by starting very low you mitigate that risk. As you note you started too high and your system clearly did not like that.

What you do now is completely up to you. I agree with Lighty you could make either choice, stop the rI or hold the dose here at 0.6mg. The most important thing to do now however is to stick to your guns on which ever choice you make. Moving doses around causes such upset to an already destabilised nervous system, try not to make rash choices

I know its hard and you are scared, but your body can recover from this. There are no quick fixes unfortunately, whilst a benzo can ease the activation it can also upset a nervous system that is very destablised. We always advice to not add fuel to the fire.

The big thing is to look into coping skills particularly acceptance and distraction. It is amazing what we can cope with when we start to understand these ideas. Not to say things won't get easier for you, they will, just to say whilst things are hard we need to have these skills under our belt to help pass the time whilst we heal.

Acceptance is key - Why does acceptance feel impossible?

Thank you Chippy. I feel like i am losing my mind.

I was decided to drop the reinstatement, but i guess i could hold on a little bit longer. I took 0.6 mg at 12.00 a.m.today( i take it at 9.00). How many days should i wait before assessing if it’s good or bad please? Could i drop it if i see no improvement or if it is worse? Since the dose is now low the adverse affect should be milder

1 minute ago, Lukas92 said:

I took 0.6 mg at 12.00 a.m.today( i take it at 9.00).

make sure to take your dose daily around the same time, the nervous system likes stability.

2 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

ow many days should i wait before assessing if it’s good or bad please?

I would say give it a week, your dose in your body is probably currently higher than 0.6mg daily, since you took 2.5mg for the first 3 days, and it will take your body 7-10 days until your drug level steadies (from the last 2.5mg dose, before you started taking 0.6mg the next day.)

10 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

Thank you Chippy. I feel like i am losing my mind.

I was decided to drop the reinstatement, but i guess i could hold on a little bit longer. I took 0.6 mg at 12.00 a.m.today( i take it at 9.00). How many days should i wait before assessing if it’s good or bad please? Could i drop it if i see no improvement or if it is worse? Since the dose is now low the adverse affect should be milder

As Lighty said keep the dose to the same time each day.

Again Lighty is correct give it at least 7 days to let things start to settle down a bit. You’ve been through an awful lot and it’s likely to be a bit bumpy from here. Unless you suspect the drug is worsening you significantly (you can normally tell this as you worsen shortly after taking it) then I would hold steady for as long as it takes. Don’t expect to be symptom free. It’s really not the goal, you’re just trying to cushion the symptoms and make things more manageable.

Thank you both. i was feeling better before i started with the reinstatement. i was afraid that if i miss this train(reinstatement) i am going to be messed up for years.

hi . I am reconsidering my choice of reinstatement. Before reinstatement i had anxiety, but not nearly as bad. It was this severe when it hit first 5 weeks ago. But since then I was gradually improving, except for tinitus, my dizziness was much better than in the beginning. Do you think are those good signs or is there a possibility that it will worsen in the future and new symptoms will come along?

I am afraid that the longer i stay on this medication now the more damage it will do to me. Is it normal to feel like this? I have severe anxiety with restlessnes and depression, i barely slept, my stomach can’t digest properly, i was sweating at night. I had some relief yesterday at 16.00 for some time after i took fish oil.

I am torn. Please help.

4 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

Do you think are those good signs or is there a possibility that it will worsen in the future and new symptoms will come along?

I cannot say for sure, there are people who are worse on 1 year mark and some who are better, it's normal for symptoms to be shifting after a while.

5 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

I am afraid that the longer i stay on this medication now the more damage it will do to me.

don't be afraid, take actions with logical reasoning. how many days you been on 0.6mg at this point?

6 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

Is it normal to feel like this? I have severe anxiety with restlessnes and depression, i barely slept, my stomach can’t digest properly, i was sweating at night.

those are typical wd/destabilization symptoms.

7 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

I had some relief yesterday at 16.00 for some time after i took fish oil.

then you can take more fish oil, you can take up to 2-3g of omega 3 per day (omega 3, not fish oil weight, make sure you get a supplement that mentions how much omega 3 is there), but obviously slowly increase and don't rush towards 3g a day, take the amount you need.

also Lukas, could you please update your signature with your drug history? i sent a guide on how to on the initial comment i replied on this thread.

It’s 3rd day on 0.6 mg. I thought i am going to feel better after reinstatement, not worse.

If i had dropped it, would it still be ok? What would you do in my situation please?

I had a feeling yesterday for 2 hours like all my symptoms are gone, i can’t figure out if it was the drugs or fish oil.

Yes but everything is worse since i started the drug. Is it normal to feel like this shortly after reinstatement and improve?

I will check your instructions

20 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

If i had dropped it, would it still be ok? What would you do in my situation please?

you would be okay, you haven't been on the drug long enough in this reinstatement, if you are sure the drug is doing you bad, just stop the drug, but don't go back on the drug again after stopping it, to not cause further destabilization.

If you want to go for reinstatement, you can try 0.6mg for a few more days but it seems to me like you feel yourself the reinstatement is not doing you well.

22 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

Is it normal to feel like this shortly after reinstatement and improve?

I mean, if a reinstatement is going well, you should be having less severe symptoms after reinstatement, not worse, assuming you are starting out on a tiny dose.

25 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

I had a feeling yesterday for 2 hours like all my symptoms are gone, i can’t figure out if it was the drugs or fish oil.

If it was right after taking the omega 3, I would assume the omega 3 calmed down your nervous system.

Edited July 25Jul 25 by Lighty

19 hours ago, Lukas92 said:

It’s 3rd day on 0.6 mg. I thought i am going to feel better after reinstatement, not worse.

The issue is you RI too high at first and this has upset your nervous system.

19 hours ago, Lukas92 said:

If i had dropped it, would it still be ok? What would you do in my situation please?

We cannot know. Now your system is more upset stopping might not solve this immediately for you imo.

19 hours ago, Lukas92 said:

I had a feeling yesterday for 2 hours like all my symptoms are gone, i can’t figure out if it was the drugs or fish oil.

I think this is a good sign. I would hold your dose steady where you are if it was me.

19 hours ago, Lukas92 said:

Yes but everything is worse since i started the drug. Is it normal to feel like this shortly after reinstatement and improve?

It is hard to say if this is the RI or the high dose and now you are suffering with Kindling effects. It is your choice but I would be tempted to not make further changes as you are seeing some better periods.

I can't remember if I have asked you this already but do you worsen with the dose or within a hour of taking it?

As @Lighty has said please update your signature as requested

I have updated my signatured.

Thank you both!

Yesterday my somewhat better period started again at around 16.00 and lasted 3 hours. Today I woke up 3 times but overall i slept at least 7 hours. My anxiety started again in the morning, but it’s better than the last 3 days, when it felt unbearable.

Therefore i have decided to take 0.6 mg.

Is my upset nervous system gonna get better soon?

It’s hard to tell if if it’s making it worse but i think it’s similiar before and after taking my drug.

I would like to ask a few questions.

Before reinstating citalopram, I was taking L-tryptophan.

At the moment, I am taking:

* Magnesium orotate 500 mg, three times a day

* Fish oil

Is it okay to drink herbal teas with calming herbs? What about taking vitamin C?

I also go for walks and light runs. I stopped going to the gym because I read that intense exercise can make anxiety worse during withdrawal. Is that true?

23 hours ago, Lukas92 said:

Is it normal to feel like this shortly after reinstatement and improve?

Hi @Lukas92 I'm not as knowledgeable about this as Chippy or Lighty just chiming in with my lived experience as someone who reinstated far too high. It put me through the wringer for a couple months but I did improve. BUT I may have gotten lucky or my brain adapts well to the drug im on theres no way of knowing. I would not recommend RI too high but just to reassure you the bad times arent permanent. I advise to keep with their advice they know what they're talking about x

14 minutes ago, Lukas92 said:

I have updated my signatured.

Thank you both!

Yesterday my somewhat better period started again at around 16.00 and lasted 3 hours. Today I woke up 3 times but overall i slept at least 7 hours. My anxiety started again in the morning, but it’s better than the last 3 days, when it felt unbearable.

Therefore i have decided to take 0.6 mg.

Is my upset nervous system gonna get better soon?

It’s hard to tell if if it’s making it worse but i think it’s similiar before and after taking my drug.

I would like to ask a few questions.

Before reinstating citalopram, I was taking L-tryptophan.

At the moment, I am taking:

* Magnesium orotate 500 mg, three times a day

* Fish oil

Is it okay to drink herbal teas with calming herbs? What about taking vitamin C?

I also go for walks and light runs. I stopped going to the gym because I read that intense exercise can make anxiety worse during withdrawal. Is that true?

Also with herbal tea I'd look up to see if they interact with your drug. I was drinking lavender tea it helped but found out it can interact with sertraline. So now I drink warm milk which sounds weird but actually helps me before bed lol

2 minutes ago, cherrysquid said:

Also with herbal tea I'd look up to see if they interact with your drug. I was drinking lavender tea it helped but found out it can interact with sertraline. So now I drink warm milk which sounds weird but actually helps me before bed lol

.

Edited July 26Jul 26 by Lukas92

Hi @cherrysquid ,

I thught i replied to your post, but i gues i am still figuring out how it works here.

Thank you for your support and advices, and i am sorry you had to go through this.

I will try that with milk and check it the herbs could interact.