29 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

Maybe ill just cut the benzo altogether since it’s only been roughly 4 weeks on them and it hasnt been consistent and drop the lexapro to 2.5mg

Hard to know for sure but that’s what I would do. Hopefully you can stop the benzo ok as you’ve not taken it consistently and for long. Some people can.

30 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

Idk what else to do.. right this second it feels kind of like the level of anxiety I get before going to ER which sucks

Hopefully on a lower dose possibly lower than 2.5mg you can just feel less activated and hold and stabilise. I’d do 2.5 and then see how you go.

@Chippy Can’t believe klonopin wore off after 8 hours…

I have the urge to go to ER right now but trying to tell myself it’ll be the same outcome as before

I’ll try to cut the 5mg pills into 2.5mg close enough and get a weight

Do you think taking like .25 of klonopin for a couple days and then dropping to 0 is better or like u said just trying not to take them..

I’ve got a feeling whatever I do isn’t going to end well and I’ll likely be going to ER

I can’t put into words how scary my symptoms can get sometimes

Edited September 3Sep 3 by Rekonum

13 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy Can’t believe klonopin wore off after 8 hours…

Yeah benzos have short half lifes. It’s why it’s suggested that the dose is split and not taken all at once especially when dependance has set it.

14 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

I have the urge to go to ER right now but trying to tell myself it’ll be the same outcome as before

Keep telling yourself that. It’s the truth unfortunately

14 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

I’ll try to cut the 5mg pills into 2.5mg close enough and get a weight

Use your average pill weight to figure out how much drug you need to be taking. So weigh 10 of your pills and divide that weight by 10. That’s the average weight of your pills then workout what fraction of that weigh you need to take to make the desired dose. So if your pill is 10mg as I think it is then 1/4 of that weight is 2.5mg.

That’s the weight to shoot for with the scales. Get it best you can. Consistency is key. Same thing each time.

16 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

Do you think taking like .25 of klonopin for a couple days and then dropping to 0 is better or like u said just trying not to take them..

No you’ve only been taking it here and there right? I’d just stop.

17 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

I’ve got a feeling whatever I do isn’t going to end well and I’ll likely be going to ER

It’s maybe gonna be a bit rough for a bit but you’re much stronger than you even know. Have some faith in yourself. You’ve come this far.

@Chippy I’ll try to give a little timeline as close as I can since late July:

Late July: Lexapro 10mg reinstatement and Buspar 10mg twice a day

early august: xanax 0.5mg up to about august 25th but 90% of them days I took xanax; somewhere in there i cut buspar completely

August 19th: been down to lexapro 5mg to current since this date and started klonopin maybe around in here somewhere.. I think i took two doses of xanax since having klonopin and maybe have had klonopin 6 times since august 19th

Given all this info does this help reassess what you want me to do? maybe helps with if you think I should just stop them completely or taper the klonopin since I let you know how often ive taken it; def have taken them more than maybe you think.. I would lean more towards I’ve taken them more than what I’m giving.. that’s just estimate of what I think

I’m on vacation right now (without the scales 😭)

Also I do have lexapro in 5mg pill form now.. I got psychiatrist to write that.. they actually weighed exactly same as what I was shooting for when I was cutting the 10s

Edited September 3Sep 3 by Rekonum

1 hour ago, Rekonum said:

Given all this info does this help reassess what you want me to do? maybe helps with if you think I should just stop them completely or taper the klonopin since I let you know how often ive taken it; def have taken them more than maybe you think.. I would lean more towards I’ve taken them more than what I’m giving.. that’s just estimate of what I think

It doesn't sound like you have been taking Klonopin that long at all then. Or Xanax tbh. I would just stop taking them mate and keep it simple if it were me.

1 hour ago, Rekonum said:

I’m on vacation right now (without the scales 😭)

2 hours ago, Rekonum said:

Also I do have lexapro in 5mg pill form now.. I got psychiatrist to write that.. they actually weighed exactly same as what I was shooting for when I was cutting the 10s

It's good you can manage to be away with all this!

Ok, it is better to stay on the same type of pill, people sometimes have issues switching batches let alone pill types/size...

This is how you are taking your 5mg atm? A whole pill?

Well if you want to drop I would suggest you get your scales and do it that way. When are you home?

@Chippy yeah the 5mg is a whole pill.. been taking it for 3 days..

Home on Tuesday so i guess I have to gut it out until then..

I may split the 0.5mg klonopin into halves and take twice through tuesday bc I don’t want to be miserable during vacation

I’d rather deal with a real illness than what we go through man.. this **** sucks.. tired of worrying if I’m having a heart attack constantly

Do you guys have discord or like a live thread forum by chance?

Edited September 3Sep 3 by Rekonum

9 hours ago, Rekonum said:

I have the urge to go to ER right now but trying to tell myself it’ll be the same outcome as before

Unfortunately, the ER has only one tool in its toolbox...more/different drugs.

More drugs are not the solution.

More time, a lot of patience, distractions, and what Chippy said above are the way forward.

The volunteers on this site would benefit from seeing the dates/doses of Klonopin in your signature.

You will bounce back from this.

@AlmostOff @Chippy my 5mg pills don’t have a line through them so that may mean they cant be split right since the pill isnt evenly distributed?

Also @AlmostOff I think I did update it as much as I could

7 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy yeah the 5mg is a whole pill.. been taking it for 3 days..

Ok, well ideally you keep to the 10mg pills and weigh them. Batch changes can be destabilising. It is what is and maybe you won’t notice any difference.

7 hours ago, Rekonum said:

Home on Tuesday so i guess I have to gut it out until then..

I think this is probably all you can do. I’d not want you to suddenly be taking an unknown amount of the drug irregularly until then.

7 hours ago, Rekonum said:

I may split the 0.5mg klonopin into halves and take twice through tuesday bc I don’t want to be miserable during vacation

You have to do what you think you should do. I’m still confused as to how long you’ve been taking klonopin. You seem worried about dependency to it yet Xanax is the benzo you’ve taken the most?

These drugs are very powerful and I’m trying to make sure you understand this. Taking different amounts of different drugs at different times is not ideal. The body want consistency not lots of little changes.

7 hours ago, Rekonum said:

I’d rather deal with a real illness than what we go through man.. this **** sucks.. tired of worrying if I’m having a heart attack constantly

It does. Wd is hell. If you have not been through it you can’t understand. What I would say is if you think it’s bad now it can be worse. That’s why we are trying to advise you best we can about taking things consistently and not using benzos adhoc as you are.

6 hours ago, AlmostOff said:

Unfortunately, the ER has only one tool in its toolbox...more/different drugs.

Sadly this is true.

6 hours ago, AlmostOff said:

More time, a lot of patience, distractions,

Coping skills are everything not benzos

6 hours ago, AlmostOff said:

The volunteers on this site would benefit from seeing the dates/doses of Klonopin in your signature.

4 hours ago, Rekonum said:

Also @AlmostOff I think I did update it as much as I could

There are no dates for your klonopin from that I can see.

4 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@ my 5mg pills don’t have a line through them so that may mean they cant be split right since the pill isnt evenly distributed?

This isn’t how the drugs work. The drug is evenly distributed amongst the filler.

6 hours ago, AlmostOff said:

You will bounce back from this.

100%

@Chippy I may ask my psychiatrist to call me in liquid lexapro to cvs if you think this is okay (once im back from vacay)

I’ll try to just take the 5mg tablets until tuesday since i don’t have my old batch of 10mg to split with me (I know you said new batches can be destabilizing)

updated my signature on klonopin

I’ve taken klonopin maybe 6-7 times since 25th of August.. the last 3 doses were on Aug 31st, Sep 1st, at night on Sep 2nd… didn’t take one Sep 3rd

Edited September 4Sep 4 by Rekonum

2 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy I may ask my psychiatrist to call me in liquid lexapro to cvs if you think this is okay (once im back from vacay)

No stick to the pills, the switch could be destabilising.

2 hours ago, Rekonum said:

I’ll try to just take the 5mg tablets until tuesday since i don’t have my old batch of 10mg to split with me (I know you said new batches can be destabilizing)

Ok well then stick to 5mg pills going forwards then

2 hours ago, Rekonum said:

updated my signature on klonopin

2 hours ago, Rekonum said:

’ve taken klonopin maybe 6-7 times since 25th of August.. the last 3 doses were on Aug 31st, Sep 1st, at night on Sep 2nd… didn’t take one Sep 3rd

Ok, well you have not taken that much, but this as needed dosing is not good, and I would stop using them before you do gain dependance and have a whole new set of issues to contend with.

@Chippy I have no clue how someone with symptoms as severe as mine are right now don’t take a benzo

It literally is miserable.. I can’t leave the bed.. I’m at the beach and supposed to feel fine and go out on the beach, but I can’t because of this

There’s no hope for this ****

13 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy I have no clue how someone with symptoms as severe as mine are right now don’t take a benzo

It literally is miserable.. I can’t leave the bed.. I’m at the beach and supposed to feel fine and go out on the beach, but I can’t because of this

There’s no hope for this ****

I totally understand it feels impossible. Trying to reframe these things is important. If you say there is no hope then you start to believe it. That’s not true. It’s just how it feels. Now is the time to start to understand the injury and situation you are in. It’s completely possible to gain the coping skills needed to make this more bearable whilst you heal. We are here to help you with this.

16 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy I have no clue how someone with symptoms as severe as mine are right now don’t take a benzo

It literally is miserable.. I can’t leave the bed.. I’m at the beach and supposed to feel fine and go out on the beach, but I can’t because of this

There’s no hope for this ****

I was bed bound April, may, June. I didnt take a benzo. You have to do it an hour at a time. Distract. Talk to us. Talk to ai if you have to. I wouldnt have been able to get to the beach.

Many of us have been that bad and some here are and manage without benzos. Its hard but you can do it x

@Chippy I’m scared to go somewhere where I feel like I can’t escape and get to an ER immediately because in my head I’ll legit die if not..

My symptoms do get 100x worse when I put myself in these situations.. how do I cope if coping mechanisms don’t help..

Also when I get home Tuesday I’m reducing lexapro.. I think it’s a paradoxical reaction at this point

I want you to help me taper down accordingly when I’m home

I’m almost sick at the fact I have to keep taking 5mg today and until tuesday before I can get home and reduce

Edited September 4Sep 4 by Rekonum

@cherrysquid Just at the point of where I dread waking up in the mornings.. Instead of living it’s just surviving minute by minute.. what’s the point in living if you constantly feel this way and can’t do anything? I’m definitely not suicidal fyi, just kind of ticked off with what I’m going through..

I’d just exhaust being a regular benzo taker if I ever got to the point where I was really bad mentally

right now I’m just trying to tough it out because yall say it’s best path forward, but I’m extremely extremely physically miserable..

I have to stabilize in the next couple months, or I think I’ll just have to do something differently

Edited September 4Sep 4 by Rekonum

47 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

@cherrysquid Just at the point of where I dread waking up in the mornings.. Instead of living it’s just surviving minute by minute.. what’s the point in living if you constantly feel this way and can’t do anything? I’m definitely not suicidal fyi, just kind of ticked off with what I’m going through..

I’d just exhaust being a regular benzo taker if I ever got to the point where I was really bad mentally

right now I’m just trying to tough it out because yall say it’s best path forward, but I’m extremely extremely physically miserable..

I have to stabilize in the next couple months, or I think I’ll just have to do something differently

I know i totally understand, this suffering is inhumane. I remember waking up one morning at 4am with the usual cortisol shock and seeing the sun rise and thinking... another day of hell.

But every hour that passes is an hour closer to a window ❤️

13 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy I’m scared to go somewhere where I feel like I can’t escape and get to an ER immediately because in my head I’ll legit die if not..

I understand the fear, this is a lot to take onboard. Try to understand that you are strong and it is all about taking one hour at a time if needs be as @cherrysquid has said. The first step is realising you can do it. It won't feel good, and youll panic and think you can't cope. In western society we are not taught to suffer, we are taught suffering is bad, it's why we end up on these drugs, now we must learn to suffer well. Sounds wild I know, but trust mem it's the way of out of this.

13 hours ago, Rekonum said:

Also when I get home Tuesday I’m reducing lexapro.. I think it’s a paradoxical reaction at this point

I want you to help me taper down accordingly when I’m home

I agree, I wish you could have reduce quicker. I will help as much as I can.

13 hours ago, Rekonum said:

I’m almost sick at the fact I have to keep taking 5mg today and until tuesday before I can get home and reduce

Change what you can, accept the rest, I think a consistent dose until then would be better than trying to 'guess' the cut now.

13 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@cherrysquid Just at the point of where I dread waking up in the mornings.. Instead of living it’s just surviving minute by minute.. what’s the point in living if you constantly feel this way and can’t do anything? I’m definitely not suicidal fyi, just kind of ticked off with what I’m going through..

I’d just exhaust being a regular benzo taker if I ever got to the point where I was really bad mentally

right now I’m just trying to tough it out because yall say it’s best path forward, but I’m extremely extremely physically miserable..

I have to stabilize in the next couple months, or I think I’ll just have to do something differently

You are doing great. The benzos may help for a few hours, but they can make all this worse. You will also build up tolerance to their effect really quickly, then they won't help but youll be depedant on them and have to keep taking them regularly too or end up with benzo WD.

Try to not make statements like 'I have to in a set period of time' etc..... This just feeds the fear. You need to dampen that fear by reaffirming positive truths, like 'I am stronger than I know' 'One day at a time' etc, keep that nervous system as chill as possible..

@Rekonum another suggestion I could give you is you can use chamomile tea instead of benzos, chamomile works a bit like benzos but doesn't cause issues nearly as much as benzos.

if you tolerate chamomile, you can use chamomile at times of crisis, I will be way less worried personally about chamomile tea use vs a benzo.

Edited September 5Sep 5 by Lighty

1 hour ago, Lighty said:

@Rekonum another suggestion I could give you is you can use chamomile tea instead of benzos, chamomile works a bit like benzos but doesn't cause issues nearly as much as benzos.

if you tolerate chamomile, you can use chamomile at times of crisis, I will be way less worried personally about chamomile tea use vs a benzo.

@Rekonum It would certainly be a better option, remember you can react to anything when destablised so perhaps only if things are bad and you reach for the benzo do this instead, and start very low and see if you cope ok with it. Personally if you can cope without I would.

@Chippy Yeah I’ll probably avoid supplements for now…

I was wondering does anyone here have lower blood pressure and heart rate but with anxiety symptoms like the chest tightness, doom feeling, etc

my blood pressure reading this morning lying down is like 106/53 with 52 pulse (never is that low except for when lying down) usually 110/65 or so with 58-62 pulse when sitting up

I just don’t understand how I have such a relaxed blood pressure and pulse but feel not relaxed lol

Like right now for example I’m lying in bed feeling worried, anxious/doom feeling, neck is tight and sore, and chest and heart area kinda has like a feeling as if it’s being squeezed gently..

I just have very odd symptoms that are pretty consistently the same

@Chippy got severe just now and thinking abt taking klonopin.. I seriously just am convinced something is off.. Idk how you can convince yourself otherwise when you feel symptoms 247

Edited September 5Sep 5 by Rekonum

3 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy Yeah I’ll probably avoid supplements for now…

Ok makes sense

3 hours ago, Rekonum said:

I was wondering does anyone here have lower blood pressure and heart rate but with anxiety symptoms like the chest tightness, doom feeling, etc

my blood pressure reading this morning lying down is like 106/53 with 52 pulse (never is that low except for when lying down) usually 110/65 or so with 58-62 pulse when sitting up

I just don’t understand how I have such a relaxed blood pressure and pulse but feel not relaxed lol

Like right now for example I’m lying in bed feeling worried, anxious/doom feeling, neck is tight and sore, and chest and heart area kinda has like a feeling as if it’s being squeezed gently..

I just have very odd symptoms that are pretty consistently the same

WD is very confusing unfortunately. I agree it is odd! But nothing surprises me it can be so unpredictable.

3 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy got severe just now and thinking abt taking klonopin.. I seriously just am convinced something is off.. Idk how you can convince yourself otherwise when you feel symptoms 247

As I said, if you keep reaching for them, not only are you potentially making this worse, but you will build tolerance and they won't be effective anymore, then you'll be stuck taking them for no other reason than to stop you getting benzo WD.

@Chippy would you potentially think it’s okay if i have a quick taper off the klonopin? i took .25 earlier