4 hours ago, Rekonum said:

anxiety symptoms like the chest tightness, doom feeling,

Many of us can relate to this, sadly.

4 hours ago, Rekonum said:

thinking abt taking klonopin..

Don't do it. Flush them down the toilet to remove the temptation.

WD from one drug is bad enough.

@AlmostOff @Chippy Already took .25 klonopin like 3 hours ago and it already wore off 🤣 or maybe it just was hardly even a therapeutic dose

12 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@AlmostOff @Chippy Already took .25 klonopin like 3 hours ago and it already wore off 🤣 or maybe it just was hardly even a therapeutic dose

You may be gaining tolerance.

As @AlmostOff said, flush them, then you can't be tempted.

@Chippy Woke up feeling weird.. Blood pressure 100/50 and I just feel off and feel like I’m going to die..

How do I just sit through these situations and not take the klonopin? I just don’t understand how sitting through this is more beneficial for your health than taking the klonopin

On the way to the ER right now.. I feel like such an idiot man but I don’t want to die @Chippy

1 minute ago, Rekonum said:

How do I just sit through these situations and not take the klonopin? I just don’t understand how sitting through this is more beneficial for your health than taking the klonopin

the klonopin doesn't fix your nervous system, it could just possbily create dependence and destruct your CNS further in the long term, as you been explained multiple times.

benzos aren't blood pressure medication or a magic pill.

You are free to choose as you'd like regardless, the reason we warn you, is because there are people here who are polydrugged and got damaged way more than just an ssri, there are situations that are way worse than what you are currently dealing with, as hard as it is to see that.

2 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

On the way to the ER right now.. I feel like such an idiot man but I don’t want to die.

feeling bad and having symptoms doesn't mean you are dying, you can have severe symptoms and it's just symptoms.

@Lighty I have them 24/7 everyday man.. I just don’t get the point in living like this.. it’s really starting to affect me mentally too

Tired of suffering every second of every day or just feeling like I’m going to die while even just laying in bed and it getting worse every time I try to do anything different

Hey @Rekonum sorry things are rough today still.

We have explained the issues with taking benzos. I think you get the point now. Sitting with it is uncomfortable but not dangerous. Taking benzos is.

This is a temporary problem. You will look back at this in years to come and be proud how you coped. That’s the point. You’re not here because this life right now is worth it. You’re here because the life you will have once you have made it though will be worth it.

In wd we must learn coping skills that we didn’t think were possible. Find strength we didn’t know we had. And learn life skills that will make us stronger and more resilient in the better years ahead.

You’ve got this. Time to stop adding to this chaos and just take it one day one hour or one minute at a time if that’s what it takes.

@Chippy I agree I’ll get better eventually… I think I’ve gotten a little worse in some areas since going down to 5mg.. do you think it’s a bad idea to go up at all or do you think trying to go down some more when I can will be ideal?

2 hours ago, Rekonum said:

How do I just sit through these situations and not take the klonopin?

Here are two links worth reading:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/13492-dealing-with-emotional-spirals/#comment-257833

I've found them very helpful on my journey.

@AlmostOff @Chippy Felt like I had a legit stroke this morning and symptoms lingering constantly; came to ER and everything’s fine once again…

I really don’t understand how symptoms can get that severe and there not be something physically off

Edited September 6Sep 6 by Rekonum

13 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy I agree I’ll get better eventually… I think I’ve gotten a little worse in some areas since going down to 5mg.. do you think it’s a bad idea to go up at all or do you think trying to go down some more when I can will be ideal?

I don't think going up would be a good idea. I think the dose was and is likely too high for you. I suspect you are looking for an answer and wondering if the reduction has caused this. I would at the least stay on this dose, personally I would reduce it as soon as you can. The choice is and has to be yours.

11 hours ago, Rekonum said:

@AlmostOff @Chippy Felt like I had a legit stroke this morning and symptoms lingering constantly; came to ER and everything’s fine once again…

I really don’t understand how symptoms can get that severe and there not be something physically off

However it is really good things are settling down at times. Are you having periods where things are much better? We need to know this.

WD injury recovery is very non linear, and can be very confusing. Time is the healer. Don't go looking for fixes, this normally makes things so much worse. Doctors often don't understand or recognise WD injury, things are changing and you can get lucky but mainly not.

@Chippy Much better? absolutely not

I think I have something going on 24/7 that’s off in my body that sometimes I don’t even know how to describe.. Like I don’t feel like myself there’s like an inner restless feeling constantly even when the severe heart attack stuff isn’t happening..

I feel really off tbh like a different person sort of.. I wish I could pinpoint exactly what that is for you

I don’t think I’ve gotten much better in these 6 weeks… I think I may have learned to cope with the constant feeling that I feel but I haven’t coped with when it gets severe

I’m still dealing with agoraphobia because whenever I leave to go anywhere the severity of it does get worse like I’m begging to go to ER

Even when I’m inside I’m constantly dealing with a wired feeling in my chest and the intensity of it fluctuates throughout the day.. a lot of weird neck and head pain sensations off and on

I will note when it gets severe I usually am severely agitated.. It’s hard not to want quiet and darkness when you feel awful but I’ve noticed agitation often

I’m still waiting for the windows that people talk about where they actually feel good.. there’s times I have windows where things aren’t as severe, but in a split second that changes

I went to ER yesterday like I stated before, but I did not take any benzos yesterday at all

2 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

I think I have something going on 24/7 that’s off in my body that sometimes I don’t even know how to describe..

I understand. We aren’t really expecting things to feel great in a window at the moment. Just looking for subtle improvements. Signs the reduction has helped.

You felt a benefit from reducing from 10mg over all? I know it’s hard to tell when everything is so rough, but it’s good to get an idea if your body is appreciating the lower drug level.

3 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

I went to ER yesterday like I stated before, but I did not take any benzos yesterday at all

You should be proud of yourself.

@Chippy Tbh I’m not too sure if I’ve gotten better.. My parents think I’ve been worse since reduction, but idk I feel like I’ve been sort of same

A little frightened on what to do regardless of what path we go

6 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy Tbh I’m not too sure if I’ve gotten better.. My parents think I’ve been worse since reduction, but idk I feel like I’ve been sort of same

A little frightened on what to do regardless of what path we go

I understand. It’s hard to tell when it’s so heavy still. From memory things did ease after your drop a little. Trouble is the dose is still fairly high and you’ve been taking benzos and things so it’s gonna be tough to tell for sure.

You’ve got two choices really. Hold here and wait to stabilise or try reducing to 2.5/3mg and see if you notice an improvement in overall activation.

@Chippy going down to 2.5/3 mg would require me to go back to old batch of 10mg pills though..

I don't think the 5mg pills I’m currently taking are scored

4 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy going down to 2.5/3 mg would require me to go back to old batch of 10mg pills though..

I don't think the 5mg pills I’m currently taking are scored

You can still cut the 5mg pills it’s fine

@Chippy the only thing about it is no way you cut them evenly every time.. are u saying to discard one of the halves?

Also how is it fine if it isn’t scored ?

Edited September 7Sep 7 by Rekonum

What is your gut instinct. Do you think you are predominantly suffering from activation or withdrawal?

21 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

@Chippy the only thing about it is no way you cut them evenly every time.. are u saying to discard one of the halves?

Also how is it fine if it isn’t scored ?

You just need to take enough pieces it doesn’t need to be evenly cut necessarily.

You can keep the other half and use them to make up doses rather than dispose. Just need an appropriate airtight container to keep them in.

The drugs the same as your 10mg pills.

3 hours ago, Rekonum said:

Like I don’t feel like myself there’s like an inner restless feeling constantly even when the severe heart attack stuff isn’t happening..

Can you relate to any of the items on this withdrawal checklist?

https://media.invisioncic.com/r138344/pages_media/1491703620_WDchecklist.pdf?_cb=1733760981

Or, is it more like the kindling link I shared with you a few pages back?

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/27800-hypersensitivity-and-kindling/#comment-610557

3 hours ago, Rekonum said:

I’m still waiting for the windows that people talk about where they actually feel good..

I recall wondering about these, too. Eventually, I experienced what people call a window. It was beautiful. It took time, but it happened. You'll get there as well.

@Steve1

Truthfully I don’t know exactly what my gut tells me.. I’ve convinced myself there is something wrong that the doctors are missing because my symptoms remain and they are very peculiar and scary…

@AlmostOff

I’m not sure it’s WD symptoms because I was experiencing increased anxiety and chest discomfort like 6 months after coming off, but survived okay without for a decent while..

I don’t know if it’s kindling from reinstatement either tbh because I just don’t get why I haven’t stabilized in the slightest even after a reduction

I’m honestly just desperate to step out the door and feel good in my body.. not feel like I have to focus on my breathing or feel some weird neck sensation or my chest feel like it’s caving anytime I put myself in situations that are normal

It’s like my body has became super sensitive to where it thinks everything is a threat and there is no way out beside something that calms the CNS

I have no clue what to do but to just sit and suffer…

I’ve been having probably my worst day mentally today just kind of over life tbh with this physical suffering, but I’m trying to hang in there

I’m actually a pretty faith-based person and this experience has been ruining that too. Just feel like if God loved me, He would’ve intervened by now, but I’m left fighting it on my own

4 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

was experiencing increased anxiety and chest discomfort like 6 months after coming off, but survived okay without for a decent while..

Withdrawal can hit you fast, or build over months. I've read of others who were managing after stopping abruptly, until they weren't.

Things like alcohol, drugs, sickness, antibiotics, and stress can flare up WD.

6 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

I just don’t get why I haven’t stabilized in the slightest even after a reduction

You can't rush the process - patience is key.

Lexapro is a powerful drug, and the Xanax and Klonopin wouldn't have helped with finding stability.

8 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

I’m honestly just desperate to step out the door and feel good in my body.. not feel like I have to focus on my breathing or feel some weird neck sensation or my chest feel like it’s caving anytime I put myself in situations that are normal

As I said above, you can't rush this process. Acceptance of the situation is important.

8 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

It’s like my body has became super sensitive to where it thinks everything is a threat and there is no way out beside something that calms the CNS

Distractions can help. A gentle walk, talking to a friend, listening to calming music...anything to distract your mind as your body adjusts to what it has been through.

9 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

I have no clue what to do but to just sit and suffer…

You're not just sitting and suffering; you're allowing your body the time it needs to recover.

10 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

but I’m trying to hang in there

Why not go back to the start of your topic and re-read the advice provided. Sometimes it helps to see the consistent message provided.

11 minutes ago, Rekonum said:

Just feel like if God loved me, He would’ve intervened by now, but I’m left fighting it on my own

Perhaps He providentially brought you to this site to give you the help you need.

This is worth a read:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/