3 hours ago, lost4ever said:

Good morning. Everyone tells me that sleep is good and helps with healing. This month, my sleep has become a full 8 to 10 hours,

This is great,

3 hours ago, lost4ever said:

but when it improved, my symptoms got worse. I don't know why, especially the thoughts.

We don't know why, we have to just accept and trust the body to heal. There is no reason or logic in WD. I also had this though, sleep better, head burns....

4 hours ago, lost4ever said:

my sleep has become a full 8 to 10 hours, but when it improved, my symptoms got worse. I don't know why, especially the thoughts.

I don't struggle much with insomnia. I get 8-10 hours a night but this is abnormal sleep. I feel.heavy and drugged. Normal me has always been a light sleeper who has trouble switching her brain off. So I don't class my current sleep as healing or "good" because it is part of a larger state of shut down where I am depressed, anhedonic, apathetic and often struggle to walk or get out of bed. I had insomnia early in WD and once this "got better" my symptoms were much worse too.

Edited September 24Sep 24 by Sminismoni

28 minutes ago, Sminismoni said:

I don't struggle much with insomnia. I get 8-10 hours a night but this is abnormal sleep. I feel.heavy and drugged. Normal me has always been a light sleeper who has trouble switching her brain off. So I don't class my current sleep as healing or "good" because it is part of a larger state of shut down where I am depressed, anhedonic, apathetic and often struggle to walk or get out of bed. I had insomnia early in WD and once this "got better" my symptoms were much worse too.

I also don't suffer from insomnia, except during the first 6 months and when they tried to reinstate the SSRI. However, my sleep back then felt like a mere 'shut down' for just 6 hours; I was sleeping only because it was bedtime. Only this month, I started feeling a genuine desire to sleep, and it has become deep and extended, lasting between 8 to 10 hours. Yet, the symptoms that follow now come back with much greater intensity. What makes this journey bearable for me is that they don’t last as long as they used to—at most, they don't exceed an hour. However, they constantly shift; changing from an intrusive thought, to physical weakness/exhaustion, to pain, and so on.

I feel what you're going through.

13 months of reducing and switching medications, followed by 4 months completely drug-free. I’ve decided to be patient for another 6 months before making any further decisions.Most likely, after these next 6 months, I’ll just decide to wait for another 6 months 🤣.I know there is no magic pill, no quick recovery, and no one knows what the next symptom will be or how it will all end. I fully realize that.But it is an utter exhaustion of both soul and body.I wish you all a full recovery, my loved ones.

I left the house to take a short walk. Suddenly, I felt myself leaning to the right while walking a complete loss of balance and a strong urge to sit down. An intense wave of anxiety was hitting me, demanding that I return home, but without fear, I pushed forward and kept walking while the symptoms continued. Then, I lost my focus and broke into a freezing cold sweat, accompanied by a thought or a sensation I don't know how to describe it but it was related to losing the ability to walk. I felt like I was walking on a rocking boat.Despair, anger, extreme tension. I cannot tolerate anything touching my body

Yesterday, I went to sleep at 10:00 PM and woke up at 7:00 AM, getting about 9 hours of deep sleep.

I woke up with morning anxiety that felt like absolute hell—a fear of going out, a desire to escape, a urge to cry, and a pain at the base of my brain. I haven't experienced this kind of fear in months. It's a fear that stops me from leaving the house, a fear that makes me want to visit doctors.

It is a very bad day. I don't know what to do; it feels as though everything is resetting back to zero.

3 hours ago, lost4ever said:

Yesterday, I went to sleep at 10:00 PM and woke up at 7:00 AM, getting about 9 hours of deep sleep.

Amazing! :)

3 hours ago, lost4ever said:

woke up with morning anxiety that felt like absolute hell—a fear of going out, a desire to escape, a urge to cry, and a pain at the base of my brain. I haven't experienced this kind of fear in months. It's a fear that stops me from leaving the house, a fear that makes me want to visit doctors.

I am sorry to hear

3 hours ago, lost4ever said:

It is a very bad day. I don't know what to do; it feels as though everything is resetting back to zero.

WD is like this, slightly better, than worse. The waves feel like a huge backstep. They are not. Just part of the process. Hang on, you got this and are stronger than you know.

I need an explanation for whether this is normal.

Previously, I used to have a terrifying fear of going out. Then it decreased, then disappeared, and now it has returned. Currently, I am suffering from balance issues, but emotionally/perceptually only—I haven't actually fallen. However, the dizziness, nausea, and cold sweats are present. Right now, I have absolutely no desire to go out. I am not panicked, but I simply cannot. I am not afraid either, but I just can't do it. I feel like I'm going crazy. Why can't I go out? When I think about it, I just get a sensation that I am going to fall.

I am sweating heavily, a cold sweat, and especially my forehead has become very cold. This is a new symptom that has just appeared.

On the topic of sleep, the idea that it is healing is not necessarily that you sleep better and then tomorrow you're not in WD.

It's that sleep is a vital part of recovery from pretty much every other ailment, illness and injury that the body can sustain and recover from, plus it is a vital part of overall wellbeing. It's not a huge stretch to think that getting decent sleep has a chance of improving recovery timeframes, even though we don't really know.

That said, recovery from WD can be very long, it's not like sleeping well can turn months or years into days.

@Sminismoni @lost4ever I still think it's good that you sleep, even if it's not very natural sleep.

17 hours ago, lost4ever said:

I need an explanation for whether this is normal.

Previously, I used to have a terrifying fear of going out. Then it decreased, then disappeared, and now it has returned. Currently, I am suffering from balance issues, but emotionally/perceptually only—I haven't actually fallen. However, the dizziness, nausea, and cold sweats are present. Right now, I have absolutely no desire to go out. I am not panicked, but I simply cannot. I am not afraid either, but I just can't do it. I feel like I'm going crazy. Why can't I go out? When I think about it, I just get a sensation that I am going to fall.

13 hours ago, lost4ever said:

I am sweating heavily, a cold sweat, and especially my forehead has become very cold. This is a new symptom that has just appeared.

All very normal symptoms @lost4ever unfortunately. I hope things ease with time, I think they will.

I am back to the same phase that I struggled so hard to get out of :(

1 hour ago, lost4ever said:

I am back to the same phase that I struggled so hard to get out of :(

we both know it's only a wave, and that it's temporary, it will pass.

take it gently ❣️

I miss me

14 hours ago, lost4ever said:

I miss me

I think we can all empathise with this x

My situation is neither promising nor bad; it's just continuous fluctuations where everything keeps repeating itself.

My question is: I am in need of Magnesium and Vitamin D3. My Vitamin D3 level is 13 , which is a severe deficiency. Magnesium Glycinate caused me violent episodes. Magnesium Citrate was very comfortable, but after I was forced to take Zoloft for only 3 doses, I experienced severe activation. I completely stopped taking anything, whether a supplement or a medication, and I had an annoying reaction to magnesium.

For your information, 136 days have passed, and I am completely clean and free of drugs.

What do you advise me to do?

A massive wave has hit me, bringing back the nausea, vomiting, and adrenaline surges after they had disappeared for months. It came with a sense of despair, anger, and a feeling that I am going to lose my mind.

13 minutes ago, lost4ever said:

A massive wave has hit me, bringing back the nausea, vomiting, and adrenaline surges after they had disappeared for months. It came with a sense of despair, anger, and a feeling that I am going to lose my mind.

I’m so sorry.. I’m also in a wave today .. rough isn’t it. Hang in there . Wish you al the love and health ❤️

7 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I’m so sorry.. I’m also in a wave today .. rough isn’t it. Hang in there . Wish you al the love and health ❤️

Unfortunately, my body gives me no complete rest. Yes, it is incredibly rough, especially since this gradual return to ground zero is so painful. Over these years, I have experienced every kind of illness—both physical and mental—and unfortunately, even madness itself. I know that it will pass, but my life and my youth are passing away with it too.

2 minutes ago, lost4ever said:

Unfortunately, my body gives me no complete rest. Yes, it is incredibly rough, especially since this gradual return to ground zero is so painful. Over these years, I have experienced every kind of illness—both physical and mental—and unfortunately, even madness itself. I know that it will pass, but my life and my youth are passing away with it too.

It’s true and I think something that our thoughts are making this situation even harder. I had the thoughts again today having my big wave… for one moment I told myself what is a year or maybe more compering with being myself again and be truly happy : offcourse it didn’t take the pain away but it calmed me down . I am no way near acceptance but maybe I am putting the first steps ..

7 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

It’s true and I think something that our thoughts are making this situation even harder. I had the thoughts again today having my big wave… for one moment I told myself what is a year or maybe more compering with being myself again and be truly happy : offcourse it didn’t take the pain away but it calmed me down . I am no way near acceptance but maybe I am putting the first steps ..

Acceptance used to be the most important thing; it helped me a lot before. But now, the chemical waves are much more violent—I cannot accept them until they calm down a bit. What exhausts me the most is the repetition, the crazy thoughts, and the hallucinations, though they aren’t even classified as actual hallucinations; I don't even know what they are. Hyper-focus, brain fog, madness. I am constantly terrified of losing my mind; I'm afraid of losing control. I am so tired. I am completely exhausted.

4 minutes ago, lost4ever said:

Acceptance used to be the most important thing; it helped me a lot before. But now, the chemical waves are much more violent—I cannot accept them until they calm down a bit. What exhausts me the most is the repetition, the crazy thoughts, and the hallucinations, though they aren’t even classified as actual hallucinations; I don't even know what they are. Hyper-focus, brain fog, madness. I am constantly terrified of losing my mind; I'm afraid of losing control. I am so tired. I am completely exhausted.

I’m so sorry dear @lost4ever . My heart goes out for you.. really . If I could cry I would .. but I’m blocked sooo😿 I hope and pray for you that within a few hours when the evening starts .. you will have some relief. Some waves are not to be solved with acceptance.. this sounds really pitty( but i am not ashamed). Sometimes I crawl up in bed and watch succes stories all day if the wave hits hard. You gotta do what you gotta do .. wish you al the best and a window ❤️

7 minutes ago, Saar8srl said:

I’m so sorry dear @lost4ever . My heart goes out for you.. really . If I could cry I would .. but I’m blocked sooo😿 I hope and pray for you that within a few hours when the evening starts .. you will have some relief. Some waves are not to be solved with acceptance.. this sounds really pitty( but i am not ashamed). Sometimes I crawl up in bed and watch succes stories all day if the wave hits hard. You gotta do what you gotta do .. wish you al the best and a window ❤️

Thank you for your kind words. I wish you comfort and healing as well. If you get a window, let me know, and I will do the same. You have brought me a little bit of hope.

4 minutes ago, lost4ever said:

Thank you for your kind words. I wish you comfort and healing as well. If you get a window, let me know, and I will do the same. You have brought me a little bit of hope.

I just burst in to tears because of your words. I happy that I can give you the hope even if am in a very bad mental state ❤️I will let you know dear @lost4ever

@lost4ever I’m your neighbor. From Iran 🤗have lived there until my age of 12.