Hi Everyone,

 

I am a fellow user from SA, my username on there was Citeforsoreeyes and my thread details my initial journey (https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/33353-citeforsoreeyes-citalopram-and-quercetin-interaction/)

 

By way of introduction, on the 20th of July 2025 I suffered an ADR to Citalopram, also known as Celexa, which presented itself as an interaction upon taking a supplement (quercetin) that I was using on an ad-hoc basis. I took a total of 3 pills and was plunged into hell. I’m not sure if what I experienced was serotonin syndrome. 

 

Months 1-3 were indescribable, inhumane, scary and I never want to revisit acute again. For the most part I seem to have escaped a lot of physical symptoms which I am grateful for however, in return I was hammered with mental. My brain took me places I’ve never been, places I didn’t know existed, it was terrifying. A breakdown of some symptoms:

 

• Terror / inner aka?
  
• Anxiety
  
• Rumination 
  
• SI
  
• Intrusive thoughts 
  
• DP/DR
  
• Memory issues
  
• Concentration issues
  
• Inability to find words
  
• Extreme food sensitivity (activating/wave inducing/making me feel high)
  
• Hair loss, acne, weight loss
  
• Adrenaline dumps 
  
• Medication sensitivity 
  
• Chemical sensitivity to smells and cleaning chemicals/ smoke/ vapes etc
  
• Throat tightening 
  
• Pins and needles
  
• Headaches
  
• Eye dryness, blurred vision, visual floaters/ sparklers/ slight hallucinations/ snow.
  
• Disrupted periods 
  
• GI upset
  
• Dizziness/faintness
  

I’m sure there were more.

 

Months 4 onwards have shown a steady increase in wellbeing, for which I am eternally grateful! I’m currently 6.5 months out and in a wave induced by my period, but outside of this wave life has shown a return to normality in many ways. I am able to work from home, concentrate to some degree and maintain my corporate job. Outside of a wave induced would tell you I really enjoy my job and I can hold my own in it again, thought I’m not outside of a wave so I can’t say that today haha! Luckily, I am still breastfeeding and have managed to use that as an excuse to work from home and not travel into the city which gives me terrible anxiety anyway but much more so now. 

 

I am raising a 16 month old and a teenager, both of whom I love more than I can say. I have a wonderful fiancé who has helped me through this and is my rock! He was also on Sertraline (Zoloft) when this happened and has since come off (with a quick taper much to my absolute dismay but he seems okay). I am able to function at social events, I partake in life, I walk every single day with my dog who I also adore, I have managed some huge life stressors (loss, family medical emergencies, extreme sleep deprivation, sickness repeatedly) during this time and managed just fine. I am healing ❤️.

 

I am avoiding ALL of the following:

 

• Any and all medications 
  
• Alcohol
  
• Sugar
  
• Dairy
  
• Gluten
  
• Smoking/vaping 
  

All of which feels very sad to me as I loved my vices and I really hope someday these will return, I spent a lot of time on SA trying to reach out to those before us to ascertain if they do return and it seems a mixed bag (if you have any opinions/ anecdotal evidence please message me!).

 

Finally, my goal for the future is to, of course, recover. But more than anything in the world I want another baby, this was my plan all along and now sadly that has been ripped from me. My partner and I suffer repeated pregnancy loss which could lead to medical interventions, all my pregnancies require medicating for hyperemisis (extreme sickness 5+ times a day while medicated, unending without meds), the med I need is a mix of unison/doxycycline and B6 (xonvea). On top of that I will need lidocaine for amnio testing and would love an epidural. I ruminate on this a lot so if you stumble on my thread and have any experience of any of these meds good or bad I would love to know it, truly ☀️. 

 

I think that is everything for now - I would love to connect with others through this journey and form some W/D / ADR buddies - it sure is lonely being the only person I know IRL that has had this!

Welcome to the forum, SparklingG.

 

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Hey SparklingG

 

Welcome to the forum

 

Im sorry to read about your reaction to Citalopram. As you know we see a lot of ADR in the community. I don't think a lot of our systems can handle these medications.

 

You've not been off the drug long in the grand scheme of things and it sounds like despite some ongoing symptoms you are doing well. This is great! :)

 

I hope in time this progress continues for you.

 

I too have ditched a lot of my vices! I kinda of miss some of them for sure. Some not so much though! Ive surprised myself.

 

I wish you luck growing your family. I empathise with the difficulty. My wife and I have had some problems too in the past. She has suffered a lot.

 

Without obviously giving you medical advice (which I clearly can't!) I just want to add that my wife has had a lot of surgery for her various gynecological issues. We both think a lot of the problems she still faces today are a cascade of medications, from premeds, to pain killers, ADs (for pain), anti inflammatories, the list goes on and on. I think our systems can take so much of this. But then they kinda brake under the pressure. Now your CNS is clearly irritated I would just be mindful of this when considering further treatment but just my thoughts obviously.

 

Thanks for joining! It is great to have you here. I look forward to reading your future posts.

 

Chippy

Hello SparklingG, glad to hear there are some improvements.

Yesterday it was exactly 4 months since all hell broke loose. Would like to hope things will get better for me, but I am still tapering so I have no idea how all this will go...

Anyway, I wanted to ask you if your food sensitivities were related to histamine? And have your eye problems improved? (This is my biggest worry as I am an artist and also I feel my derealization would be less without all the crazy things happening in front of my eyes.  :( )

Thank you for joining.

 

It sounds like you have made immense progress in a relatively short time. Hopefully some more months will bring more recovery.

Welcome SparklingG,

I’ve seen you on SA but I’m not sure we interacted much.

I can relate to avoiding gluten and dairy. I never really was a drinker, so avoiding alcohol is not a big deal. But I have been avoiding gluten and dairy for a while now, and it does  seem to help my digestion. Sugar, I just minimize or I’m just mindful about it. Because if I have too much, my stomach turns. The more bitter taste receptors are being nurtured (let’s say mostly vegetables, perhaps fermented foods and possibly for other foods too that I can’t think of off the top of my head), the more the sugar receptors are toned down. Then, we eat a bit too much, and we’re a little shocked – because it really isn’t all that great for us if we have too much, which you probably already know. Natural sugars are good source of carbs, and we need some glucose for the brain. So all in moderation.

 

Anyhow, we’re glad you’re here and hope that this site provides you with support. It’s good to have this new home and find our different peeps to chat with just like on SA.

 

Take care, 

Jen

On 1/9/2026 at 8:42 AM, Chippy said:

Hey SparklingG

 

Welcome to the forum

 

Im sorry to read about your reaction to Citalopram. As you know we see a lot of ADR in the community. I don't think a lot of our systems can handle these medications.

 

You've not been off the drug long in the grand scheme of things and it sounds like despite some ongoing symptoms you are doing well. This is great! 🙂

 

I hope in time this progress continues for you.

 

I too have ditched a lot of my vices! I kinda of miss some of them for sure. Some not so much though! Ive surprised myself.

 

I wish you luck growing your family. I empathise with the difficulty. My wife and I have had some problems too in the past. She has suffered a lot.

 

Without obviously giving you medical advice (which I clearly can't!) I just want to add that my wife has had a lot of surgery for her various gynecological issues. We both think a lot of the problems she still faces today are a cascade of medications, from premeds, to pain killers, ADs (for pain), anti inflammatories, the list goes on and on. I think our systems can take so much of this. But then they kinda brake under the pressure. Now your CNS is clearly irritated I would just be mindful of this when considering further treatment but just my thoughts obviously.

 

Thanks for joining! It is great to have you here. I look forward to reading your future posts.

 

Chippy

Hi Chippy, 

 

A huge thanks to you and @Luke for your hard work on the site! It’s incredible how you have managed this and we are all so grateful for a place to continue our journeys. 
 

Thanks for you message, I am doing much better than I was for sure! 
 

I’m very sorry to hear that you and your wife had a hard time expanding your family too, thank you for sharing and empathising. I absolutely agree with you are the meds, I really want to limit them where possible. In fact, I’m actively traumatised into not wanting to touch anything ever again but I know that this is unrealistic. I expect many on this site and SA share the same views. 
 

all the best to you, Chippy 😊

On 1/9/2026 at 9:11 AM, Marina said:

Hello SparklingG, glad to hear there are some improvements.

Yesterday it was exactly 4 months since all hell broke loose. Would like to hope things will get better for me, but I am still tapering so I have no idea how all this will go...

Anyway, I wanted to ask you if your food sensitivities were related to histamine? And have your eye problems improved? (This is my biggest worry as I am an artist and also I feel my derealization would be less without all the crazy things happening in front of my eyes.  😞 )

Hi @Marina

 

Nice to meet you! Things WILL get better for you, I truly believe that we all heal once way or another. 
 

My food sensitivity follows no rhyme or reason, I have avoided high histamine foods anyway as I have chronic hives and I cut down to a very very limited diet for a long time. My sensitivity actually made me feel like I was having a lesser version of the original reaction which was scary, it then threw me into a wave so food became quite frightening. I’ve slowly introduced a lot more into my diet and I’m trying to add something new every day that I’m in a window! 
 

My vision issues HAVE improved, I’m shocked to say that. They were static for the longest time, I now get some days where my vision is better, I can sometimes watch tv without glasses and I have a tree and some houses I look out at every day to gauge where my vision is. It fluctuates, worse in a wave and on my period. I have read a lot about this and see it is often one of the last to go, I fully expect this to resolve given time and stability. 
 

wishing you the best, G 

On 1/9/2026 at 6:22 PM, Luke said:

Thank you for joining.

 

It sounds like you have made immense progress in a relatively short time. Hopefully some more months will bring more recovery.

Thanks Luke, I’m so pleased to be here! Do let me know if I can help in any way 😊

On 1/9/2026 at 9:41 PM, namastejen1 said:

Welcome SparklingG,

I’ve seen you on SA but I’m not sure we interacted much.

I can relate to avoiding gluten and dairy. I never really was a drinker, so avoiding alcohol is not a big deal. But I have been avoiding gluten and dairy for a while now, and it does  seem to help my digestion. Sugar, I just minimize or I’m just mindful about it. Because if I have too much, my stomach turns. The more bitter taste receptors are being nurtured (let’s say mostly vegetables, perhaps fermented foods and possibly for other foods too that I can’t think of off the top of my head), the more the sugar receptors are toned down. Then, we eat a bit too much, and we’re a little shocked – because it really isn’t all that great for us if we have too much, which you probably already know. Natural sugars are good source of carbs, and we need some glucose for the brain. So all in moderation.

 

Anyhow, we’re glad you’re here and hope that this site provides you with support. It’s good to have this new home and find our different peeps to chat with just like on SA.

 

Take care, 

Jen

Hi Jen,

 

I really appreciate your response to my post, I’ve not spoken with any of the mentors yet and I’m thrilled to hear from you and your advice. 
 

I haven’t had any white sugar, or products with added sugar in 6.5 months (my initial post was wrong, I was a little under 6 months I believe at the time). I’m a little concerned about adding this back in, have you found it to be activating? I might wait a little longer but I also really really miss sweet treats and chocolate, everything that I have added in recently has caused no reaction at all, granted most have been whole foods but I couldn’t tolerate a single blackberry or a couple of bites of melon in the beginning.

 
I’m so glad an alternative site exists, I spent a great many hours on SA and it’s good to find a space to read people’s journeys and interact with others. 
 

all the best, G 

UPDATE 6.5 MONTHS

 

Hi all,

 

Good to be back with likeminded individuals who understand again. Though I am mourning the loss of SA, I am so pleased to have this place and grateful to the creators. I’m also pleased to see so many familiar faces on the forums, it’s starting to feel like a home again! Great work all.

 

Symptoms

 

I realise that in my last post I said I was 6.5 months out, that was wrong, I am now 6.5 months out. I can confirm that I haven’t experienced a wave since my last period, in my current period I also haven’t experienced a recognisable wave. This is huge progress!! I have been living life with relative normality within the bounds of my comfort zone and safety net. I.e, I don’t venture to far from home alone, I have routine places I go, I walk my dog with others daily, I can go anywhere at all with my family or fiancé without feeling anxiety. 
 

For absolute transparency, my baseline is not my normal. I am still far more anxious in general than I was and my mental constitution is weak. I can now listen to the news but I couldn’t watch a horror movie. I can now play video games for a more adult audience, eg currently playing assassins creed whereas before I limited myself to cozy games, but I wouldn’t be able to cope with a horror game or a zombie game. As an example. I am not back to normal but I am doing well for the circumstances!
 

A possible new symptom for me is reflux and stomach pain. I’m not sure whether this is part of a sickness bug or something, it remains to be seen as it’s only been about 5 days with this. Which bring me on to…

 

Other Updates - Illness, Stressors 

I have unfortunately, been very unwell in the last month, for 3.5 weeks I had a nasty cold/flu, followed by a sinus infection that cause me to be in the most pain I’ve had in my life. I tried to use ice and heat, I writhed in bed, I ended up in A&E and I caved and took some paracetamol. I was in pain for weeks, I ended up needing some paracetamol on a daily basis for over a week. I kept it to as little as possible, I would take half a tablet at a time and no more than 2 whole tablets a day. I shook with fear putting the first one in my mouth and my fiancé had to hold me, I’m angry that Citalopram has done this to me. I’m angry I can’t access proper pain relief, I should have been on something much stronger, I really suffered and it wouldn’t have been necessary for a normal person. I also put off antibiotics which may have shortened my illness because of this. It’s so unjust.

 

I am now concerned that the “excessive” paracetamol has caused my acid reflux, stomach pain and issues, though my teen daughter has been off school “sick” which she always claims so I’m unsure. I hope it resolves soon. 

other than that I have had some huge stressors, my father, who is one of the main reasons I went on the drug in the first place, has exited his rehab care home (alcoholic) and is now homeless. He has lost mental capacity and I hold his LPA so this is a huge amount of admin work for me now. I have cut contact as I simply cannot have his relentless calls and texts and abuse. I want to relinquish my LPA but as I’m the only one this will leave him without access to his money for a year. It’s a rock and hard place but I’m trying to do the bear minimum to keep myself mentally afloat. It still hasn’t caused a wave but I’m being very careful with myself and what I let in. 
 

Food Sensitivity 

This is coming on leaps and bounds for me! I have worked loads of new foods back in and on days that I am feeling well I am trying one new thing per day. This has slowed somewhat as I try not to introduce on my period in case of waves or when I am sick, because I don’t think it gives an accurate picture. For those that also have food sensitivity, below if a list from AI of the foods that I have successfully introduced in full portions - 

 

Proteins

• Beef
• Steak
• Chicken
• Pork
• Gammon
• Sausages
• Bacon

Carbs

• Potatoes
• Sweet potato
• Rice
• Rice noodles
• Gluten‑free pasta

Veg

• Courgette
• Mangetout
• Sugar snap peas
• Carrot
• Cauliflower
• Broccoli
• Mushrooms
• Asparagus
• Parsnips

Fruit & Extras

• Apple
• Pear
• Blueberry
• Apple juice
• Lemon
• Avocado
• Water

Flavour & Cooking Essentials

• Salt
• Gravy (gluten free)
• Olive oil

 

this is all for me from now! My closing thoughts, things continue to improve, I am hopeful the reflux is a blip or cause by a bug rather than the paracetamol as it was sooooooo reassuring to have some pain relief available to me. I will continue to avoid it, unless not possible. I did this anyway in practice before the incident. I hope this update helps others at some point in their journey. 🪟💛🌈

Edited February 5Feb 5 by SparklingG
Clarity

32 minutes ago, SparklingG said:

Hi Chippy, 

 

A huge thanks to you and @Luke for your hard work on the site! It’s incredible how you have managed this and we are all so grateful for a place to continue our journeys. 
 

Hey! 

 

Thank you you're too kind. It is a pleasure and I glad you like it. Makes it all worth while 🙂 

 

 

33 minutes ago, SparklingG said:

Thanks for you message, I am doing much better than I was for sure! 
 

I’m very sorry to hear that you and your wife had a hard time expanding your family too, thank you for sharing and empathising. I absolutely agree with you are the meds, I really want to limit them where possible. In fact, I’m actively traumatised into not wanting to touch anything ever again but I know that this is unrealistic. I expect many on this site and SA share the same views. 

Im pleased to hear this! 🙂

 

Yes I think when you get burned by the medical profession and start looking into it more you realise the issues in the system as a hole. Not to say it's all bad but it's worth doing your research and not making assumptions isnt it!

 

Thanks for the reply

 

Speak soon

 

Chippy 

@SparklingG Thank you so much for your reply. I really hope my vision problems will improve. They bother me so much and adding on to my depression/anxiety/derealization.

 

I hope you experience more healing soon. ❤️🙏🏻

19 hours ago, SparklingG said:

Good to be back with likeminded individuals who understand again. Though I am mourning the loss of SA, I am so pleased to have this place and grateful to the creators. I’m also pleased to see so many familiar faces on the forums, it’s starting to feel like a home again!

Hi @SparklingG, it's great seeing you on the new site and with a sparkling new name too!✨️ Your journey seems to be going good, with lots of improvements happening! 

 

19 hours ago, SparklingG said:

It’s a rock and hard place but I’m trying to do the bear minimum to keep myself mentally afloat. It still hasn’t caused a wave but I’m being very careful with myself and what I let in

You've handled this stressor very well! Detachment works, and you have every right to protect your own recovery. Prayers your way for some sparkly windows your way to offset this stress! ✨️🪟✨️

22 hours ago, SparklingG said:

Thanks Luke, I’m so pleased to be here! Do let me know if I can help in any way 😊

 

I'm glad. For now, the best thing that you can do is lend a supportive ear and comments to other members on their threads- this forum is much more than just myself and @Chippy- the real value in it comes from the community. You are very much part of this community and we can all support eachother when we are able to.

 

21 hours ago, SparklingG said:

I realise that in my last post I said I was 6.5 months out, that was wrong, I am now 6.5 months out. I can confirm that I haven’t experienced a wave since my last period, in my current period I also haven’t experienced a recognisable wave. This is huge progress!! I have been living life with relative normality within the bounds of my comfort zone and safety net. I.e, I don’t venture to far from home alone, I have routine places I go, I walk my dog with others daily, I can go anywhere at all with my family or fiancé without feeling anxiety. 
 

For absolute transparency, my baseline is not my normal. I am still far more anxious in general than I was and my mental constitution is weak. I can now listen to the news but I couldn’t watch a horror movie. I can now play video games for a more adult audience, eg currently playing assassins creed whereas before I limited myself to cozy games, but I wouldn’t be able to cope with a horror game or a zombie game. As an example. I am not back to normal but I am doing well for the circumstances!

 

To have periods where you're not in a wave at all at this sort of timeframe is very good progress, even though it's still very difficult to be suffering.

 

I'm sharing my own experience purely to provide context to the above statement, not to invalidate your experiences: I am having periods like this, where I'm not in a wave and I'm at some sort of okayish but not great baseline only recently at 2 years and 9.5 months out.

 

The point being, everyone's healing trajectory is different, but often when people reach a point like that they are making decent progress along the way, even if there is more to go.

 

You may have setbacks along the way, but I think it is likely that in more time, you'll be further improved- this is based on the stories of many others. You're healing in time, even if it is very hard.

 

 

21 hours ago, SparklingG said:

Other Updates - Illness, Stressors 

 

I had what I think was covid in September. I was already pretty physically sick with withdrawal, and covid ontop was absolutely brutal, and it lasted weeks. I didn't test, but it was "classic" covid symptoms and I'd had it once before, before Mirtazapine. In any case, it was a very nasty viral infection.

 

I eventually came out of it, and returned to the usual withdrawal baseline (which was not good). There is a reasonable chance that once you've recovered from it fully, you'll also return to where you were, slowly recovering from withdrawal harms.

 

Likewise, I won't share details as they don't matter for the purposes of this post, but I experienced various stressors of various kinds and although they were way, way harder to cope with during withdrawal, I don't think they truly affected my recovery process in terms of timescales overall. I still have plenty to go, and I'm still encountering various difficulties, but I'm improving in time still.

 

You're right to limit what you let in for your own wellbeing- this is good practice in life in general, I think. One I will take forwards if I fully recover and something I am trying to do now, which I was not so good at pre-drug.

 

I hope the coming months bring some more improvements for you.

On 2/5/2026 at 10:07 AM, Chippy said:

Yes I think when you get burned by the medical profession and start looking into it more you realise the issues in the system as a hole. Not to say it's all bad but it's worth doing your research and not making assumptions 

Isn’t that the truth Chippy!! Too many people being ill informed of the risks associated with these drugs and the mechanisms by which they work. Thanks for your reply! 

On 2/5/2026 at 12:37 PM, Marina said:

@SparklingG Thank you so much for your reply. I really hope my vision problems will improve. They bother me so much and adding on to my depression/anxiety/derealization.

 

I hope you experience more healing soon. ❤️🙏🏻

You are welcome, there are plenty of people who have mentioned the visual issues and how they resolved over time in the success stories on SA, it’s worth a search there! Mine had only just started to show some changes, I believe “Seer” also had this issue. 
 

I wish you more healing with you vision asap 💖🙌🏻

Edited February 6Feb 6 by SparklingG

7 hours ago, HopePerseveres2.0 said:

Hi @SparklingG, it's great seeing you on the new site and with a sparkling new name too!✨️ Your journey seems to be going good, with lots of improvements happening! 

 

You've handled this stressor very well! Detachment works, and you have every right to protect your own recovery. Prayers your way for some sparkly windows your way to offset this stress! ✨️🪟✨️

Hope 🩷 so lovely to see you here. I always look forward to your continued positivity in your posts, I’ll head on over to your thread and read the latest asap. I hope you are keeping well.

 

Thank you so much for your response and kind words. It’s also really helpful to have someone external affirm that I am handling my challenging stressor as best I can. Sending prayers of nice, clear, blue-sky windows for you too @HopePerseveres2.0🪟🩵🌈☀️

5 hours ago, Luke said:

 

I'm glad. For now, the best thing that you can do is lend a supportive ear and comments to other members on their threads- this forum is much more than just myself and @Chippy- the real value in it comes from the community. You are very much part of this community and we can all support eachother when we are able to.

Hi Luke, thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and thorough response to my post, I really appreciate it 🙌🏻. I will absolutely endeavour to do so whenever timings (small people and working full time) allow! I love this community. There is something unimaginably pure and so beautifully human about people coming together at their lowest to support one another and showing up for each other despite their own, often torturous, circumstances.  

5 hours ago, Luke said:

 

To have periods where you're not in a wave at all at this sort of timeframe is very good progress, even though it's still very difficult to be suffering.

 

I'm sharing my own experience purely to provide context to the above statement, not to invalidate your experiences: I am having periods like this, where I'm not in a wave and I'm at some sort of okayish but not great baseline only recently at 2 years and 9.5 months out.

 

The point being, everyone's healing trajectory is different, but often when people reach a point like that they are making decent progress along the way, even if there is more to go.

Thank you for the reminder that I am progressing well, I sometimes look at pictures from before my ADR and wonder if I will ever be that person again. I don’t think I will, but I hope whatever rises from the ashes is better. 
 

I appreciate you sharing your experience, I remember reading your story some time ago on SA and I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Not a single one of us deserves it. It sounds like you had a good support system which is so important. It’s heinously unjust that you’ve had to go through this but I am pleased to read that within the time since I first stumbled upon SA, and now you have seen some great improvements. Long may it continue for you! 
 

Agree, healing trajectories vary massively. I noted someone say that ADRs tend to have the same set of symptoms that rotate whereas others have different symptoms that can pop up - was this true for you? 

5 hours ago, Luke said:

 

You may have setbacks along the way, but I think it is likely that in more time, you'll be further improved- this is based on the stories of many others. You're healing in time, even if it is very hard.

 

 

This is the bit that keeps me awake at night. Through the windows and the waves my healing thus far has been a steady rising of a baseline. It’s something I feel I can count on, that whatever the wave, the baseline will still continue to rise. A setback would take that security away from me, I deeply fear medication and surely have some form of PTSD. Have you taken any meds or supplements? 
 

5 hours ago, Luke said:

 

I had what I think was covid in September. I was already pretty physically sick with withdrawal, and covid ontop was absolutely brutal, and it lasted weeks. I didn't test, but it was "classic" covid symptoms and I'd had it once before, before Mirtazapine. In any case, it was a very nasty viral infection.

 

I eventually came out of it, and returned to the usual withdrawal baseline (which was not good). There is a reasonable chance that once you've recovered from it fully, you'll also return to where you were, slowly recovering from withdrawal harms.

 

I’m sorry to hear that you were so unwell! I can imagine that it was so hard with withdrawal as well. Covid is awful. So much horrible stuff going round. I am pleased to hear that you came out of it and returned to your baseline, I have read of some people feeling that it has set them back. 

 

I am getting ill on average every 2 weeks at the moment, I’m not sure if WD impacting my immune system or it’s just because of my toddler in nursery. I’m seeming to get hit the hardest in the house and have the most complications, I pick up EVERYTHING despite my partner and daughter often avoiding illness. This couldn’t have all happened at a worse time.  
 

strangely though, I have often come out of an illness with a higher baseline. I do wonder how this all ties in and whether it has actually aided my recovery. Weird. 

5 hours ago, Luke said:

Likewise, I won't share details as they don't matter for the purposes of this post, but I experienced various stressors of various kinds and although they were way, way harder to cope with during withdrawal, I don't think they truly affected my recovery process in terms of timescales overall. I still have plenty to go, and I'm still encountering various difficulties, but I'm improving in time still.

 

You're right to limit what you let in for your own wellbeing- this is good practice in life in general, I think. One I will take forwards if I fully recover and something I am trying to do now, which I was not so good at pre-drug.

 

I’m sorry to hear that you have also had your own stressors, it would be nice if we could put a pause on life whilst we dealt with this. Then again, it would be nice if it never happened in the first place! Still, deep breathe and practice acceptance… 🫠. Trying hard to do that. 
 

I’m glad to hear it didn’t have an impact on your recovery overall and I hope whatever it is has resolved to the best of its ability so you can focus on healing. 

5 hours ago, Luke said:

I hope the coming months bring some more improvements for you.

I hope the same for you too, Luke 🪟🙌🏻🌈

On 2/5/2026 at 3:42 AM, SparklingG said:

Hi Jen,

 

I really appreciate your response to my post, I’ve not spoken with any of the mentors yet and I’m thrilled to hear from you and your advice. 
 

I haven’t had any white sugar, or products with added sugar in 6.5 months (my initial post was wrong, I was a little under 6 months I believe at the time). I’m a little concerned about adding this back in, have you found it to be activating? I might wait a little longer but I also really really miss sweet treats and chocolate, everything that I have added in recently has caused no reaction at all, granted most have been whole foods but I couldn’t tolerate a single blackberry or a couple of bites of melon in the beginning.

 
I’m so glad an alternative site exists, I spent a great many hours on SA and it’s good to find a space to read people’s journeys and interact with others. 
 

all the best, G 

Hi again G, it is difficult to say where your reflux is coming from as you have a lot going on. I would just maintain a healthy diet, eat sugar in small amounts to see how you react perhaps after your reflux is better, and do what you can to keep your stress levels down--it will definitely help you heal on all fronts.

I am sorry to hear about your dad, it is stressful to deal with the intergenerational trauma (probably was handed down to him and you have to pick up the pieces re: him, so to speak). 

What emotional supports do you seek out to help yourself through this? Mindful activities and deep breathing are great to do on your own too. Take care, and I'll be praying for you and everyone else on the site!

On 2/6/2026 at 1:52 PM, SparklingG said:

I appreciate you sharing your experience, I remember reading your story some time ago on SA and I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Not a single one of us deserves it. It sounds like you had a good support system which is so important. It’s heinously unjust that you’ve had to go through this but I am pleased to read that within the time since I first stumbled upon SA, and now you have seen some great improvements. Long may it continue for you! 

 

Thank you.

  

On 2/6/2026 at 1:52 PM, SparklingG said:

Agree, healing trajectories vary massively. I noted someone say that ADRs tend to have the same set of symptoms that rotate whereas others have different symptoms that can pop up - was this true for you? 

 

I've experienced both. I still had new symptoms developing at around the 2 years off mark.

 

We're all different, we all took different drugs over different timescales, we all came off of them differently and we all reacted differently to starting them and being on them and so on.

 

My opinion is that it's all just different flavours of severe nervous system dysregulation, and that can throw up all sorts of symptoms in all kinds of patterns. It's different for everyone.

 

  

On 2/6/2026 at 1:52 PM, SparklingG said:

Through the windows and the waves my healing thus far has been a steady rising of a baseline.

 

That's all that matters.

  

On 2/6/2026 at 1:52 PM, SparklingG said:

Have you taken any meds or supplements? 

 

No medications. I strongly recommend avoiding them.

 

I have dabbled in supplements (nutritional ones only, nothing psychoactive), such as magnesium, fish oil, vitamins etc. I didn't react adversely to any, and none did anything either.

 

On 2/6/2026 at 1:52 PM, SparklingG said:

Still, deep breathe and practice acceptance… 🫠. Trying hard to do that.

 

The only thing I'll add regards to "acceptance", is that the time passes whether you accept it or not. Whether you "handle it well" or not.

 

All you can do is look after yourself the best that you can and get through each day, and let time take care of the rest- whatever that looks like. If you can do that, more healing is likely to be in your future.

Hi @SparklingG!

 

We interacted briefly on SA regarding food sensitivity, my old user name was Moon27, just saying hi! 

 

I see you've made tremendous progress with food that's amazing!! Also amazing that you can have bacon and lemon, have you found histamine to be a factor for you at all or is it truly random? Do you ever find that you cannot tolerate a food at all or does a slow introduction make any food tolerable? How slowly do you introduce a food?

 

I have found that I can tolerate several kinds of frozen, low histamine meat (unfortunately very expensive), broccoli and cauliflower, as well as grass fed butter and olive oil. Oats might be ok, I'm still feeling it out. I had several foods feel ok at first and then disagree with me over a week or two with gradually building symptoms (anxiety, insomnia, joint pain, muscle cramps, shakiness, tinnitus, rashes), I'm thinking I might have sensitivity to lectins and/or oxalates, so continuing to test. It was lentils, butternut squash, white potatoes, and macadamia nuts that disagreed with me. Hoping to continue to try out foods and as my nervous system settles add more.

 

Your story is very inspiring, thank you for updating!

Hi all! 
 

I’m a little late but wanted to add an update to my thread of the goings on over the last ~gosh~ 6 weeks!! 
 

So I’m now at just over 8 month on from my ADR and currently doing okay. I’m not recovered, but I am managing life. Some elements of normality that have returned since my ADR:

*I can work and actually concentrate on tasks - not all the time, but I can get decent work done and converse well for the most part. 
*I sleep well, through the night (when my toddler does!) 10pm-6:30amish, I do wake and stir but I always have done and I’m high vigilant due to the baby! 
*I can eat a really balanced, albeit so boring, whole food diet. 
*I can confidently go anywhere with my safe people.

*I can be left alone, though I’m reassured by plenty of family living locally! 
*I can drive without automatically feeling spaced out 

*I sing and dance in my kitchen with my children again ❤️ I can DANCE 🙌🏻🙌🏻

*I laugh 

*I play video games

*I can use gentle and natural cleaners without freaking out (floor cleaners, vinegar sprays etc).

*Perfumes and scents no longer spin me out and make me dizzy and faint, though I’m still cautious

*I can walk without feeling like I’m going to collapse

*I HAVE HAD MOMENTS WHERE MY VISION HAS RETURNED TO NORMAL AND IN FULL (this is fluctuating but the baseline is improving).

*My urticaria is lessening

*I manage social events, as long as I’m with safe people who know my situation (fiancè, family, close friends)

*I don’t wake with doom, fear, dread

*I can shower without feeling like I might faint

*I am enjoying my toddler so much, he is bringing me genuine joy by the bucketload all day. 
 

now the things that are currently causing me issue:

 

*I have re-scared myself about food, not long after my last post here I tried a chocolate, in bed at night, my partner was eating them whilst we watched TV. It went well, I ate one whole chocolate in small separate sittings throughout the night. I felt a little spacey but okay! And confident! I thought that this must be it for food sensitivity, it’s been all in my head  of course! It sounds crazy because it is, so it must be, and I’m actually okay! So the next day, I tried a single small bite of an uniced dairy and egg free cupcake I was making for my toddler. Within 20 minutes hell broke loose, I wasn’t even worried about it, I thought it would be fine, I started getting hot and cold, heart palpitations, the urge to pace and, perhaps weirdly, undress. I handled it as best I could and it passed within 2 hours. Then came the wave, the dark cloud that threw me back into this hell show for weeks. I almost posted on here begging for support but I just rode through. In my head, posting made it more real? I don’t know. Who knows the wave mind. Since then I have had a real fear of reintroducing anything and I’ve only just started on some more Whole Foods. Today I had leek! Yesterday a raspberry, that scared me! I still wonder how much is an almost PTSD response and how much is real. I know the cake incident was real. 
* I still feel quite derealised a lot of the time because of my vision, it’s almost like one eye is pulling inwards. It’s also very dry, the visual snow has calmed down but the blur is still there. It bothers me a lot, I feel cross eyed. 
all of this, pales into insignificance against acute though so if anyone is reading this down the line regardless of this, I am okay! I am surviving and you will too!!

Aside from that, I’ve been trying to understand through various groups now the impact of WD on pregnancy. As you will tell, a number of my posting and ruminations are around my desperate want to expand my family asap. I’ve decided that I don’t know if or when things will get much better than this for me, and I’m okay with where I’m at at the moment. With that being the case and knowing our struggles with infertility - plus the absolutely joy and structure my toddler has brought to WD (alongside challenge of course!) we are likely to just start trying for a baby soon. I’ll probably never be able to be medicated for pregnancy or childbirth again so what’s the point in waiting. This might come back to kick me, if it does I’ll be a good case study for the next poor soul in my predicament.

 

Until next time, I’m trying to lay low for a bit but I will respond to any replies in due course. Prayers of healing to you all ❤️ 

 

Great news! Glad things are getting better for you! ❤️

That's immense progress at 8 months out, hopefully you continue to improve and you've turned a corner.

 

Please do let us know how you're doing when you can.

 

 

12 hours ago, SparklingG said:

Aside from that, I’ve been trying to understand through various groups now the impact of WD on pregnancy. As you will tell, a number of my posting and ruminations are around my desperate want to expand my family asap. I’ve decided that I don’t know if or when things will get much better than this for me, and I’m okay with where I’m at at the moment. With that being the case and knowing our struggles with infertility - plus the absolutely joy and structure my toddler has brought to WD (alongside challenge of course!) we are likely to just start trying for a baby soon. I’ll probably never be able to be medicated for pregnancy or childbirth again so what’s the point in waiting. This might come back to kick me, if it does I’ll be a good case study for the next poor soul in my predicament.

 

I did give you my thoughts on this in another group, but I'll repeat them here:

• You've had a huge amount of progress in 8 months
• The impact of withdrawal on your health and the health of a child conceived during it are unknown
• Over a lifetime of bearing and raising a child, waiting a few more months to get better is a very short time

 

I personally think it would be much better to just give it a few more months and see where you are. 4 months would be half your time off again, and 4 months is incredibly short relative to the lifetime commitment of having a child.

 

These are just my thoughts, you're free to heed them as much or as little as you wish.

 

As I said above, please do check in and let us know how you're doing down the line, I hope it's much better than before and you keep improving.