Hi all!

Update time, month 9 on from ADR.

Well where do I begin… there isn’t really an update! Things continue to trend steadily upwards and improvements continue to happen. A few new things that are going well:

• Vision continues to improve!

• Because of the way these updates fall I have been in two menstrual cycles, I had no idea this one was coming because it had not brought a wave or any symptoms at all with it - maybe increased stroppiness (sorry dear fiancè of mine❤️).

• I have been working hard in my garden, lots of physical stuff, no symptoms. Motivation is high.

• I have cleaned using natural products in confined spaces, no symptoms (I would have got them originally)

• I am generally quite happy! I’m in a window I guess, I know a wave will come eventually but they are milder now.

• I have worked LOTS of new foods into my diet. Mostly Whole Foods but pure fresh apple juice has been costing a bomb and so tonight I trialled squash, no reaction. I’ve added some gentle herbs back in, lots of flavour by way of the onion family, red and white, tomatoes, pre-made bone broth (Freyja brand) as stock - I HAD A SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE of some description, it was incredible! Packed with veg, herbs, flavour. This week we add in radishes, black pepper in larger quantities and salted popcorn to snack, I anticipate these will all be fine.

Negatives:

• I did have one wave this month, it was on the milder side but lasted around 4 days as I recall. Heightened anxiety etc. It was off the back of catching a cold virus and being up a lot in the night with my son. Sleep has been quite vital for me.

• I have spent a lot of time looking at forums in moments of rumination, which still do pass by me several times a day. I’m working really hard to lessen my time online and actually would like to really reduce my screen time in general. I feel that this will pass in time but things still feel very raw and almost PTSD-esque.

• I still suffer from anxiety in general, it’s hard to draw a line between what would have been there without the reaction, and what is the reaction. Though in the past all the things I’m doing have helped me move past it quicker. That an propananol, which I’m not currently taking.

I do think the warmer weather where I am has been an absolute game changer for me. I think I do suffer from some elements of SAD anyway, most people do I think, so the longer days, sunshine, days out, beautiful walks and family connections really mean the world to me and fill my cup.

Overall, right now, I feel really positive about recovery. I know that can change at the drop of a hat so don’t be surprised if I return cap in hand to this beautiful community of strong individuals. For now I will continue to update monthly. Thanks all for you messages and comments ❤️.

All the best to everyone, G x

Edited April 24Apr 24 by SparklingG

I'm glad to hear you're doing reasonably well, all things considered.

Thank you for the update, even if you say it isn't one.

Hopefully more months bring more improvements.

Great news @SparklingG 😊

I also noticed my mood is better with sunny weather. Whenever it is cloudy/gloomy/raining it sends me in a wave. ☹️

On 4/25/2026 at 10:18 AM, Luke said:

I'm glad to hear you're doing reasonably well, all things considered.

Thank you for the update, even if you say it isn't one.

Hopefully more months bring more improvements.

Thanks Luke!

I want to try and keep these monthly updates coming for those that come after us as well, I found such a wealth of knowledge in people’s threads long after they had gone on SA. Though I don’t feel there is too much to say at the moment as I’m just going through the motions. I’m not recovered, but I’m not acute anymore. Windows and waves, though milder for sure.

Time and acceptance is all that we can do. All the best

On 4/25/2026 at 10:20 AM, Marina said:

Great news @SparklingG 😊

I also noticed my mood is better with sunny weather. Whenever it is cloudy/gloomy/raining it sends me in a wave. ☹️

Thank you Marina 🌷. I need you to know that vision is improving! I’ve come across more and more people in my rumination on various sites that have recovered their vision!! I think it will get better in time for us both 🫂.

Such a good point, I am UK based so rain has been my life for months on end. The morning sun lifts my mood now, I hope you are getting some morning sun wherever you are too to lift you out of the waves 🌊❤️

8 hours ago, SparklingG said:

I am UK based so rain has been my life for months on end.

Good olde Blighty.

Thank you @SparklingG , I really hope the eye problems resolve. It is bothering me so much. 🙏🏻

One year update 🎂

Unbelievably it has been a whole year since my life was thrown into sheer hellfire one warm weekend. To recap, I took 3 pills of 10mg Citalopram, the last one alongside quercetin supplement and a cup of tea, my reaction was quick onset Akathesia with symptoms of serotonin syndrome all of which dwarfed by absolutely primal horror and terror, the likes of which have been described many times on this forum and it’s predecessor.

I have documented my journey with hope, I feel confident in the bodies ability to heal around wounds, even though I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am forever changed - things like drug sensitivity that has been a constant cause of worry will likely never abate and I’m working hard on acceptance of that in my head and acceptance that whatever pain I face, I will have to face it head on.

I want to write this update because conversely, I do have to have a procedure under general on Friday. I’m having an impacted wisdom tooth removed, it has been infected several times over the last few months and I’ve narrowly avoided antibiotics, it got absessed and my dentist drained it without any numbing. It’s been pretty horrific. So I’m biting the bullet. No pain meds though, just ice for me, salt rinses and meditating through it once I’m out the other side. I’m scared but less scared of a general than antibiotics so this is my risk in the hopes it will never threaten me with them again.

On to my update, so where am I? I have been absent from my thread for a few months trying to quietly heal. And heal I have!

*vision - at times almost 100% better, I regularly drive and walk without glasses now. I work without them, I read subtitles and see faces, I can look out of my window and recognise the world. I still occasionally have the blue flash of light

*dizziness - extremely rare, I had a bout of it today for the first time for about 40 minutes, I haven’t felt dizzy in months and the lack of it is helping me build confidence through my agoraphobia - which is also making some strides! I can travel short distances without a care in the world, without even thinking about it, on my own or with my children. Big stuff for now.

*physical exercise - I don’t do a lot of it lol, part of that is through fear actually but part of it is through weakness. My body feels weak in a way that happened overnight, I lost the ability to be able to lift my son’s pushchair in and out of the car,it’s improving but still not good. However, I went to one of my best friends wedding recently and was able to party and dance with the best of them through the night (sober, sadly, I miss this part of life soooo much).

The big one…

*food sensitivity - well you would not believe it if I told you, for the last 2ish months I have been able to eat EVERYTHING! Sweets, chocolate, dairy, cream, ice cream, gluten, herbs, spices , tastes, textures OMG. What a beautiful joy to have eating return! I am grateful beyond words and absolutely HAMMERING on weight. So much so that I’m now trying to really watch what I eat after all this time! Sometimes if I eat far far too much sugar I will feel a little wavey. Other than that, I’m good! I even drink fizzy drinks. I’m still avoiding caffeine drinks and MSG, though I’m not searching through labeling for this.

*DP/DR - gone! I am in the world again, I feel human and I sense everything around me, interpreting it normally!

*Insomnia? Who even is that? I don’t know her LOL, toxic naps gone, morning anxiety gone, terror gone, constant fear gone, ruminating… almost gone but I’m a worrier by nature, numbness and tingling gone, headaches and brain zaps gone, irritability gone, libido… getting there, not where it should be. Heart palps, occasionally.

What remains?

*increased anxiety

*occasional waves, had a bad one at 10 months and another bad one at 11ish, both triggered by illness and health scares. Coincidentally, I’ve always become VERY depressed with illness, in a way that others perhaps don’t, same goes for hangovers. I do have some histermine and immune issues I think so that could be why.

*light sensitivity to some degree, varies by day

*decreased concentration, brainpower, and memory, leading to a feeling of being dumbed down from where I was.

*presumed sensitivity to meds, caffeine, alcohol, tobacco. I’m not playing with these for at least another year.

In summary -

This is the single hardest thing I have even done in my life, and I’ve been in some really hard situations. I would take every trauma life threw at me again over this, I would take any illness over this. An induced illness of your mind, soul and very being is beyond evil and to think that companies knew about this and it’s still happening to people is just horrifying. Money is the root of all evil after all.

However, I do think this is quite a hopeful post for me, I feel like I absolutely will heal. I have seen enough healing now that I truly believe it, and I believe it for you all too! Your body is trying everyday to do right by you, keep putting one foot in front of the other. So much love and respect to all of you 💜

12 hours ago, SparklingG said:

However, I do think this is quite a hopeful post for me, I feel like I absolutely will heal. I have seen enough healing now that I truly believe it, and I believe it for you all too! Your body is trying everyday to do right by you, keep putting one foot in front of the other. So much love and respect to all of you 💜

I would say that you're very clearly getting there, and just need more time.

Thank you for the update- hopefully one of these days there'll be a success story.

12 hours ago, SparklingG said:

An induced illness of your mind, soul and very being is beyond evil and to think that companies knew about this and it’s still happening to people is just horrifying. Money is the root of all evil after all.

I believe you're UK-based. If you haven't done so already, please take a little while to fill out a yellow card report to report your adverse reaction to the authorities- the drug companies get away with it because most people just suffer in silence:

URGENT APPEAL! - MHRA 'Yellow Card' reports for all UK members - Activism and Advocacy - The Antidepressant Harm and Recovery Forum

If you have reported it, it is worth sending them an email with your report number and updating them to say how long it's been and you're still symptomatic.

If they can get enough data that lots of people are suffering for a long time, this might force some change.

On 7/21/2026 at 3:52 PM, SparklingG said:

One year update 🎂

Unbelievably it has been a whole year since my life was thrown into sheer hellfire one warm weekend. To recap, I took 3 pills of 10mg Citalopram, the last one alongside quercetin supplement and a cup of tea, my reaction was quick onset Akathesia with symptoms of serotonin syndrome all of which dwarfed by absolutely primal horror and terror, the likes of which have been described many times on this forum and it’s predecessor.

I have documented my journey with hope, I feel confident in the bodies ability to heal around wounds, even though I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am forever changed - things like drug sensitivity that has been a constant cause of worry will likely never abate and I’m working hard on acceptance of that in my head and acceptance that whatever pain I face, I will have to face it head on.

I want to write this update because conversely, I do have to have a procedure under general on Friday. I’m having an impacted wisdom tooth removed, it has been infected several times over the last few months and I’ve narrowly avoided antibiotics, it got absessed and my dentist drained it without any numbing. It’s been pretty horrific. So I’m biting the bullet. No pain meds though, just ice for me, salt rinses and meditating through it once I’m out the other side. I’m scared but less scared of a general than antibiotics so this is my risk in the hopes it will never threaten me with them again.

On to my update, so where am I? I have been absent from my thread for a few months trying to quietly heal. And heal I have!

*vision - at times almost 100% better, I regularly drive and walk without glasses now. I work without them, I read subtitles and see faces, I can look out of my window and recognise the world. I still occasionally have the blue flash of light

*dizziness - extremely rare, I had a bout of it today for the first time for about 40 minutes, I haven’t felt dizzy in months and the lack of it is helping me build confidence through my agoraphobia - which is also making some strides! I can travel short distances without a care in the world, without even thinking about it, on my own or with my children. Big stuff for now.

*physical exercise - I don’t do a lot of it lol, part of that is through fear actually but part of it is through weakness. My body feels weak in a way that happened overnight, I lost the ability to be able to lift my son’s pushchair in and out of the car,it’s improving but still not good. However, I went to one of my best friends wedding recently and was able to party and dance with the best of them through the night (sober, sadly, I miss this part of life soooo much).

The big one…

*food sensitivity - well you would not believe it if I told you, for the last 2ish months I have been able to eat EVERYTHING! Sweets, chocolate, dairy, cream, ice cream, gluten, herbs, spices , tastes, textures OMG. What a beautiful joy to have eating return! I am grateful beyond words and absolutely HAMMERING on weight. So much so that I’m now trying to really watch what I eat after all this time! Sometimes if I eat far far too much sugar I will feel a little wavey. Other than that, I’m good! I even drink fizzy drinks. I’m still avoiding caffeine drinks and MSG, though I’m not searching through labeling for this.

*DP/DR - gone! I am in the world again, I feel human and I sense everything around me, interpreting it normally!

*Insomnia? Who even is that? I don’t know her LOL, toxic naps gone, morning anxiety gone, terror gone, constant fear gone, ruminating… almost gone but I’m a worrier by nature, numbness and tingling gone, headaches and brain zaps gone, irritability gone, libido… getting there, not where it should be. Heart palps, occasionally.

What remains?

*increased anxiety

*occasional waves, had a bad one at 10 months and another bad one at 11ish, both triggered by illness and health scares. Coincidentally, I’ve always become VERY depressed with illness, in a way that others perhaps don’t, same goes for hangovers. I do have some histermine and immune issues I think so that could be why.

*light sensitivity to some degree, varies by day

*decreased concentration, brainpower, and memory, leading to a feeling of being dumbed down from where I was.

*presumed sensitivity to meds, caffeine, alcohol, tobacco. I’m not playing with these for at least another year.

In summary -

This is the single hardest thing I have even done in my life, and I’ve been in some really hard situations. I would take every trauma life threw at me again over this, I would take any illness over this. An induced illness of your mind, soul and very being is beyond evil and to think that companies knew about this and it’s still happening to people is just horrifying. Money is the root of all evil after all.

However, I do think this is quite a hopeful post for me, I feel like I absolutely will heal. I have seen enough healing now that I truly believe it, and I believe it for you all too! Your body is trying everyday to do right by you, keep putting one foot in front of the other. So much love and respect to all of you 💜

I'm happy to read that you are doing so much better, I hope you continue to heal!

Hey, sparkling I'm glad you're doing good and wish you well for tooth treatment.

I'm going through withdrawal myself for the past 12 weeks will complete three months on 23 September. I'm still in grip of withdrawal my worst symptoms are insomnia( I wakeup after sleeping 2-3 hours with adrenaline rush like feeling with heat, sweat and palpitations) then I cannot sleep if I'll sleep it's like dreams like very light sleep and have cortisol spike around 6-7 am that make it difficult to sleep even if I'm bit drowsy and sleepy.

And the worst is napping sometimes I'm sleepy and when I try to fall sleep I'm jolt awakened with same panic, palpitations, heat, sweat, and I have developed now anticipatory anxiety regarding napping when I think about it I get anxious.

Other is heightened anxiety from morning to evening

I cold turkeyed after one month use of deanxit and levosulpride.

I wanted to know if any of these symptoms sound familiar and does it get better with time.?

I feel like even I'll improve I'll never be able to return to my older self.

Keep us updated

1 hour ago, bunny said:

Hey, sparkling I'm glad you're doing good and wish you well for tooth treatment.

I'm going through withdrawal myself for the past 12 weeks will complete three months on 23 September. I'm still in grip of withdrawal my worst symptoms are insomnia( I wakeup after sleeping 2-3 hours with adrenaline rush like feeling with heat, sweat and palpitations) then I cannot sleep if I'll sleep it's like dreams like very light sleep and have cortisol spike around 6-7 am that make it difficult to sleep even if I'm bit drowsy and sleepy.

And the worst is napping sometimes I'm sleepy and when I try to fall sleep I'm jolt awakened with same panic, palpitations, heat, sweat, and I have developed now anticipatory anxiety regarding napping when I think about it I get anxious.

Other is heightened anxiety from morning to evening

I cold turkeyed after one month use of deanxit and levosulpride.

I wanted to know if any of these symptoms sound familiar and does it get better with time.?

I feel like even I'll improve I'll never be able to return to my older self.

Keep us updated

Hey @bunny thanks for posting. We ask folk who want to be active and post on here to start their own introduction thread and say hi :)

Hey, chippy thanks for suggesting but I'm new to website I don't know how to do that?

2 hours ago, bunny said:

Hey, chippy thanks for suggesting but I'm new to website I don't know how to do that?

Pleasure @bunny

It’s really easy. Just make new topic in the introduction area using the Start New Topic button at the top of the introductions and ongoing recoveries section of the site. You can tell us what you would like to. As little or as much so we can get to know you 😊

Sure, I'll do that

Thank you