25 minutes ago, Mamgu said:

Thanks @Lighty @Chippy and @Sonia2 I really appreciate you taking the time to help 😊 I've been trying to type a response for a couple of days but was feeling too overwhelmed. Anyway, things are settling down a bit now and my brain in engaging with life a bit more 😄

I've been actively practicing acceptance and just living with the symptoms rather than focussing on them and thereby feeding them. That second fear has gone and my equilibrium is returning.

I have absolutely zero plans to commence the taper in the near future, there's not a chance that's going to happen until I'm waaaaay past all this. I've been doing this long enough to know I'm already sensitive to tapering and can't even do the recommended 10%/month or even the Brass Monkey approach. The 'squeezies' hit too hard and this episode is the worse I've ever experienced.

Anyway, pleased to report I'm feeling better, still not great but better.

Best wishes to you all

x

Hi @Mamgu dropped by to say hey and very pleased that you are in a better place now, to point out that a 10% reduction is brutal in the vast majority of cases. I dared to cut 2.2% and the taste is still quite bitter.. great that you are attentive to your body and very wise of you to stop for a moment and let things balance out. no need to rush, there's a life to live as well.

Much luck on your journey ahead.

5 hours ago, Mamgu said:

Thanks @Lighty @Chippy and @Sonia2 I really appreciate you taking the time to help 😊 I've been trying to type a response for a couple of days but was feeling too overwhelmed. Anyway, things are settling down a bit now and my brain in engaging with life a bit more 😄

Pleasure. There’s no pressure to post or respond, here when you need. I so pleased things have eased for you.

5 hours ago, Mamgu said:

I've been actively practicing acceptance and just living with the symptoms rather than focussing on them and thereby feeding them. That second fear has gone and my equilibrium is returning.

Glad this is working for you. I do think it’s a very important practice. Maybe in life in general but certainly in wd!

5 hours ago, Mamgu said:

I have absolutely zero plans to commence the taper in the near future, there's not a chance that's going to happen until I'm waaaaay past all this. I've been doing this long enough to know I'm already sensitive to tapering and can't even do the recommended 10%/month or even the Brass Monkey approach. The 'squeezies' hit too hard and this episode is the worse I've ever experienced.

That is fair enough. At lower doses in particular 10% is often too much.

5 hours ago, Mamgu said:

Anyway, pleased to report I'm feeling better, still not great but better.

So happy. Long may it continue. 😃

Hello @Mamgu , I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. So much of what you say echoes my own experience ;the 'melting brain' -yes! It's a bit like a battery in your brain suddenly running down. Also, the sudden ageing-feeling it and looking it in my case. Not sure if it's helpful to chip in with 'me too', but please know that you're not alone. We have to hold on to the thought that we will get through this. Belated good wishes for your birthday btw.

Hi @Mamgu just stopping by to say hello, sounds like you’ve been through a lot recently and have been really struggling but things seem to be improving now. You’re holding for a long while now are you?

On 5/29/2026 at 8:17 PM, RedRobin said:

Hello @Mamgu , I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. So much of what you say echoes my own experience ;the 'melting brain' -yes! It's a bit like a battery in your brain suddenly running down. Also, the sudden ageing-feeling it and looking it in my case. Not sure if it's helpful to chip in with 'me too', but please know that you're not alone. We have to hold on to the thought that we will get through this. Belated good wishes for your birthday btw.

Hi @RedRobin thanks for dropping by, I really appreciate your comments 😊. It does help knowing there are folks out there who understand, though of course I wouldn't want anyone else to experience what I'm going through! I see from your signature you've got down to 1.25mg, that's really good going well done. We'll get there....eventually!

18 hours ago, Kat66 said:

Hi @Mamgu just stopping by to say hello, sounds like you’ve been through a lot recently and have been really struggling but things seem to be improving now. You’re holding for a long while now are you?

Hi @Kat66 thanks for stopping by - yes I'm holding for a while, I haven't set a duration so have no idea when I'll pick up the tapering again. Things have gone haywire so the only sensible thing to do is hold. It's so frustrating though.....I know you understand the frustration, it's rubbish isn't it!

A quick update, although I'm better in that I'm no longer in that catastrophising free-fall headspace I can get myself into at times; I'm still unable to walk without my 'safety net' of a walking pole. There's no change really, it still feels like I'm going to faint, and each step is like walking on ice / the escalator effect. When I go to cross the road I can't turn my head to check for traffic, I have to close my eyes, turn my while body, like Lurch from the Addams family, then take a quick peek for traffic and repeat for the opposite direction. I must look most odd to anyone seeing that 😂. Just turning direction can trigger a wave of faintness and nausea.

I read the lightheadedness thread over on SA, as we are aware, it's one of the most common symptoms in WD, but a few folks mentioned it can also 'just happen' to anyone who has not even looked at an antidepressant, and can be associated with ageing as well as being bought on by panic attacks. As this symptom is lasting much longer that what I've experienced before, and follows the panic attack I had after injuring my ribs, I wondered if it would be wise to get it checked out. So, I've booked an appointment with my GP, not that I expect anything more than being offered antidepressants but maybe some CBT or physio can help, if the Doc agrees.

Apart from that, I've noticed my mood is lifting and I'm able to enjoy listening to my records again (currently going old school and have Led Zeppelin IV on the turntable!). I'm also pleased with my response to my car breaking down yesterday, for some reason it really panics me when the car plays up - I suspect it's some kind of mild PTSD from when I urgently had to drive from West Wales to Lincoln when my dad had a heart attack, but the car broke down on the motorway en route, very stressful!! Then I had a mild drama trying to top up my phone,\ credit so couldn't call the breakdown service. That sort of situation can tip me over the edge but although it wasn't great, I took it in my stride and I got home safe and sound.

So, not so much the quick update I mentioned at the start, I do ramble on at times!

It still blows my mind hope such tiny doses can blow up your nervous system etc. I rushed my last few cuts and paid for it. That’s why I jumped at .06, couldn’t bear the thought of cutting any more!

I’m glad you’re feeling a little better mood wise at the moment though. Led Zeppelin IV, good album. To be able to enjoy music again is a huge win. I hope the window lasts a decent while. The light headedness must be annoying though. Hopefully it’ll lift at some point.

Sending a hug xx

2 hours ago, Kat66 said:

It still blows my mind hope such tiny doses can blow up your nervous system etc. I rushed my last few cuts and paid for it. That’s why I jumped at .06, couldn’t bear the thought of cutting any more!

I’m glad you’re feeling a little better mood wise at the moment though. Led Zeppelin IV, good album. To be able to enjoy music again is a huge win. I hope the window lasts a decent while. The light headedness must be annoying though. Hopefully it’ll lift at some point.

Sending a hug xx

I totally agree, how on earth can such a tiny dose do so much damage? I often wonder if lots of cuts, however small they are and however long we wait between them, build up over time and hit us as hard as CT. Of course we'll never know and I'm far too scared to jump off, but boy am I tempted to take the plunge. I have lots of conversations with myself about either jumping off, or reinstating the full 20mg and never hoping again I'll ever get off Citalopram. I always end up sticking to it though, with the help of the collective knowledge and experience of this forum and SA.

I'm so pleased that I can appreciate music again, I lost it along the way in my taper. That and reading books, I love to lose myself in a book. Again, I lost the ability to do that for a few years.

x

So. it's been nearly 8 weeks since I injured my ribs, pleased to report I'm nearly fully recovered, just a little residual pain.

Not so good on the lightheaded / stepping off an escalator feeling with each step. Absolutely no improvement there. In fact, I sometimes think it's worse. I still need my walking pole most of the time and walking round supermarkets is hell. I often have strong head pressure and fear I'm going to faint. I also have an all-over numbness, as though my nerve endings aren't working at full capacity. Kind of like being tipsy but without any of the nice feelings plus occasional anxiety surges thrown in for good measure. Also the tinnitus is very loud and persistent. Chuck in bouts of crushing fatigue and that's about it; apart from that everything is fine 😂

I've had episodes of this before, but they last a couple of days, nothing like a couple of months, as it currently is. And there's no hint it's going away any day soon.

I'm really not sure if it's withdrawal or a reaction from falling / panic attack which may be causing an inner ear issue. I read the thread over on SA and the jury seems to be out, it could be either....or both! I saw my Dr who performed some basic tests for balance, neurological disorders and blood pressure. Nothing jumped out so she wants to have an ECG done and blood test for vitamin B12 so those are booked for next week. I've also arranged some counselling.

I'm trying very hard to not worry but it's difficult, I would like to know if it's withdrawal or just 'one of those things'. Not really sure knowing will make any difference to my recovery but if it's withdrawal I can hold onto the fact it'll pass. It's really getting me down and I seem to be in a heightened anxiety state. My car broke down a couple of weeks back and it's been fixed, I collected the car yesterday but I'm scared to drive it now in case it breaks down again and I cause an accident. For goodness' sake I used to be a very confident and capable driver! I'm going for force myself to drive this weekend, if nothing else to train my brain that the car is fine!

I'm feeling really down with all this, it's even stopping me from engaging fully with the World Cup, I love my footie but just can't get into the full spirit of it yet.

@Mamgu Hi, so happy to hear your healing from your fall.

You've had a lot of worry and stress lately and I can't help but wonder if all of this has contributed to the wave you seem to be in. Apart from your fall there's been your taper, your car problem, your dog's illness, your new job and even worry about whether your birthday plans would work out. Also, you mentioned your partner has caring responsibilities so this has affected your personal life too. I know that stress can make symptoms worse, I have experienced that.

The escalator symptoms and light headed feeling is very familiar to me and I have read of others experiencing this too. I used to feel that my head was dropping whilst cooking over my hob and I would have to jerk myself upright for fear of drowning in my soup. It went away but I have recently experienced it again. Symptoms are scary but from reading your past posts they do go away.

I have recently been on antibiotics and my symptoms have been worse since, light headed, fainting sensations, jelly legs, anxiety, head pressure, body tingling and numbness not to mention the migraine from hell for the past three days.

You have been to your doctor and she has examined you so you should be reassured by that. I know how worrying these symptoms are but worrying makes them worse. You're a strong confident person and you will see this through again, like you have before.

I hope you managed to enjoy your birthday with your family.

Sending love and happy belated birthday wishes to you. xxx

Hi @Sonia2 thank you so much for your kind and wise words. I really appreciate you taking the time to reassure me especially when you're not feeling great yourself. And thank you for the birthday wishes, I had a lovely time and was able to enjoy myself :-)

Hoping your symptoms calm down very soon, you've been through enough as it is, without the antibiotic reaction.

xx

It's now been about 15 weeks since I last dropped my dose and 12 weeks since I tripped and broke or bruised my ribs. Thankfully my ribs are fully healed now so obviously I'm pleased about that. Not so good on the squeezies front though, I'm still experiencing strong withdrawal symptoms. Happily I am experiencing better days though so there is some progress, hurrah! I no longer need my walking pole to help me feel steady when walking, I can walk further and my anxiety levels are slightly better. I'm still having strong bouts of catastrophising but am working on that. I also have very strong waves of sadness/longing, so strong I feel physical constriction in my throat. Other enduring symptoms are head pressure, physical numbness, painful patches on my scalp and that feeling of being elsewhere.

I'm hoping that the symptoms continue to reduce especially now the rollercoaster that is England playing tournament football is over! My word that wasn't good for my nerves 😆. Hopefully the heat waves are over for this summer; I never dealt well with heat and heat waves don't go well with the squeezies. I'm also working with a vet to help my dog feel more comfortable, his arthritis is getting worse - at first they tried him on gabapentin, that didn't go well, poor dog was very floppy and on another planet. We're trying other medication now and I'm hoping he'll feel better soon. I suspect me being in withdrawal is heightening my reaction to him being unwell, it's making me feel very stressed and sooo sad.

Hoping for continued healing, for myself and my dog....and everyone else here xx

@Mamgu, Hi, so good to hear about your good progress even though you still have the squeezies. It must feel good not having to use your pole any more, that's a real positive, dizziness has been my worse symptom throughout. I think you doing great, your post sounds very poisitive.

I'm sorry your little dog is poorly, we worry about our furry friends as much as family but he's in good loving hands, I hope the medication works for him.

Yes, this heat hasn't helped with symptoms for sure, it's given me anxiety. I haven't been well lately , I'll post an update on my thread.

So good to hear your improving. xx

Hey @Mamgu good to see you can see some progress even with the heat and the football! It's never a rewarding process being an England fan is it! lol You are doing great and Im glad your ribs are all healed up now :), more progress to come x

Thanks Sonia and Chippy :-)

Yes, I'm pleased there is some progress, but not enough to consider recommencing my taper....frustrating! But I know patience is the only way through.

and more patience

then some more

like being an England fan 😂

19 minutes ago, Mamgu said:

Yes, I'm pleased there is some progress, but not enough to consider recommencing my taper....frustrating! But I know patience is the only way through.

yeah, it's okay, you are basically almost there with finishing the taper, you better take a long hold before going on with the more final steps of the taper.

18 hours ago, Mamgu said:

ike being an England fan 😂

🤣