I've been slowly reducing my Citalopram dose since 2019; my progress up till now is on Surviving Antidepressants here: Mamgu: reducing citalopram - Introductions and updates - Surviving Antidepressants.  

 

I want to thank Luke and Chippy for their hard work in setting up and maintaining this forum.  I think it's important that those of us who experience AD withdrawal have a place where we can connect with others going through the same thing.  The knowledge-sharing and reassurance is vital so I wanted to say how grateful I am.

 

I've noticed I manage about 50% dose reductions over the course of a year, so my dose in December is 50% lower than the January dose.  So, long old process which I just can't speed up; things rapidly go south when I try!

 

Prominent symptoms are head pressure (thus I refer to my symptoms as The Squeezies!), tinnitus, every step feels as though I've just stepped off an escalator, irritability and mild depression.  Many other symptoms come and go but those are the main ones.

 

My last drop was 25th December and I had the usual experience to start with then I had insomnia and extreme agitation for a few days, I was shocked at how much rage I had, it's really not like me.  Anyway, that subsided and things were OK for a while until the withdrawal symptoms exploded again last week during an extremely distressing time.  My poor little dog is very unwell and I think the squeezies exacerbated my reaction so that I was on high alert for a couple of days, had very little sleep and I basically unravelled. I guess it was a (not so)positive feedback loop.  These things are difficult enough without withdrawal. At least he's more settled now, still not well, but calmer.  So I'm being very careful and trying to remove any other pressures while we navigate this stressful time.

Welcome to the forum, Mamgu.

 

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Hey Mangu

 

Welcome to the forum! Again! :)  :D

 

Thanks for taking the time to repost this. We shall take better care of it this time!

 

Chippy

Hi Mamgu, I wondered where your thread disappeared to, just a glitch I suppose, anyhow good to have you back. I'm sorry your dog has been unwell, I hope he/she makes a complete recovery. I was wondering how your last drop went, sounds like you're still getting lingering symptoms. I've been getting weird symptoms too. I think the stress of Christmas and the weather changes have all taken their toll. Anyways, I'm so pleased you're here, always here if you want to chat. xx

Thanks for your help Chippy, good to be back!!  

 

Hi Sonia, yes, I disappeared when I tried to post an update, no idea what happened but here I am again :-)  The dog is a little better today, he even enjoyed a bit of a walk so that's good news.

 

I think Christmas and January are very odd times of the year, routine goes out the window then there's all those long cold nights to get through.  Not good when we've got withdrawal symptoms to cope with.  I really hope you feel better soon, it's been a bit of a haul for you hasn't it.

I relate to holidays and winter/gloomy days being the worst. I feel like I'm in a terrible wave but not sure if it's withdrwal, taper or just these days blended all into one gloomy cold day.  :(

I suspect the long cold days don't help with our situation Marina.  Sorry to hear you're not in a good place at the moment, finger's crossed it'll left soon.

 

I don't do new year's resolutions but I try to work with the seasons and think these months are great for hunkering down and reflecting, maybe having a few thoughts about what I'd like to achieve in the coming year and making plans.  But withdrawal blows that all out the water!  Sometimes it's just a case of just getting through the days one at a time is achievement enough.

Mamgu, thank you.

 

Eaxctly. I had some plans and goals too, but maybe it's still too early for that...  :(

I wish these days could pass more quickly...

Thanks for your help Chippy, good to be back!!  

 

Hi Sonia, yes, I disappeared when I tried to post an update, no idea what happened but here I am again :-)  The dog is a little better today, he even enjoyed a bit of a walk so that's good news.

 

I think Christmas and January are very odd times of the year, routine goes out the window then there's all those long cold nights to get through.  Not good when we've got withdrawal symptoms to cope with.  I really hope you feel better soon, it's been a bit of a haul for you hasn't it.

Well I'm glad it's been resolved and happy to hear your dog is better, they can be such a worry. Yes my symptoms are all over the place, some new some old recurring ones. Still getting used to this site, not sure how to tag anyone or even if you can do that. Seems you have to log on to read new posts but I'm not sure. Just so grateful that we have somewhere to go. Hope to speak soon x

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I just found your reply to me in my junk folder so I know where to look in future x

Hi Mamgu. I’m so glad to see you here but am sorry to hear your little dog is unwell and that you’re doing it tough. 

 

I also find December/January a tough part of the year(s) and it’s summer here so I can’t blame long gloomy nights. My problem is with long steamy hot days! 

 

I wish you well for the coming year in the tapering and everything else. It must be quite frustrating to be so close to zero and having to be so cautious. My dr thinks I’m on a absurdly low dose at 2.5 mg so they clearly know nothing about how these things actually work!

 

All the best

 

Fi

Oh yikes Fifree, give me long cold nights over hot steamy days anytime!!!  I really don't cope with the heat at all.

 

Thank you for your good wishes, here's hoping we all make good steady progress this year  :) .  It is frustrating to be so low yet still no where near ending this taper.  It's part of my daily routine and I kind of know the rhythm of dose-dropping/waves and windows, so on the whole I'm coping.  It's just those moments when things ramp up and  coincide with life dramas that I start to unravel.  I've done a lot of meditation practice and mindfulness so am building good coping strategies, I just need to remind myself sometimes that the difficult times will pass.

 

It's laughable that the doctors think 2.5mg is a low dose, crazy isn't it!  I don't even have conversations with my Dr about it anymore, they are so ignorant yet don't want to educate themselves by listening to our experiences.  When enough of us keep saying the same things over and over, maybe the Drs will get the message then.....but I'm not holding my breath  :-/

Another teenie tiny drop today, hurrah! 

 

Not really sure if it's the right approach, mainly because I still have residual squeezie symptoms yet in the earlier stages they would go away after a short while.  Seems at the lower doses they never go?  Or maybe I need to take longer holds?  I just don't know the best way through this but I need to get off the drug so thought I'd make the little drop and see how it goes.....finger's crossed....

Mamgu, just reading through and just read you dog was not well, hope he is doing better. And see you also tapered down. I as you have been on Citalopram,  it is definitely a challenging antidepressant to come off of. I came off way to fast, not realizing actually how fast until I  came across the forum back in 2024of February.  Surviving antidepressants.  SA, had given me some very valuable information to go by, because Doctors didn't think I was in withdrawal,  and I  should of only experienced minor uncomfortable symptoms for 2 weeks,  boy were they wrong. The lower I went the slower I should have gone, I  know that now. I'm 15 months out from zero now. Go as slow as possible so your cns stabilizes,  and time , time , and more time , you will get there,  and yes you will heal.                                   Bernadette 

8 hours ago, Mamgu said:

Another teenie tiny drop today, hurrah! 

 

Not really sure if it's the right approach, mainly because I still have residual squeezie symptoms yet in the earlier stages they would go away after a short while.  Seems at the lower doses they never go?  Or maybe I need to take longer holds?  I just don't know the best way through this but I need to get off the drug so thought I'd make the little drop and see how it goes.....finger's crossed....

Good luck with the drop. Hope it goes well. I’d say listen to your body it will tell you. A smidge drop is ok if that’s what you’re comfortable with. These lower doses is often where its the hardest. Slow and steady wins the race. 

22 hours ago, Bernadette said:

Mamgu, just reading through and just read you dog was not well, hope he is doing better. And see you also tapered down. I as you have been on Citalopram,  it is definitely a challenging antidepressant to come off of. I came off way to fast, not realizing actually how fast until I  came across the forum back in 2024of February.  Surviving antidepressants.  SA, had given me some very valuable information to go by, because Doctors didn't think I was in withdrawal,  and I  should of only experienced minor uncomfortable symptoms for 2 weeks,  boy were they wrong. The lower I went the slower I should have gone, I  know that now. I'm 15 months out from zero now. Go as slow as possible so your cns stabilizes,  and time , time , and more time , you will get there,  and yes you will heal.                                   Bernadette 

 

Hi Bernadette, thanks for your comments and well done for completing your taper.  How are you feeling now, I do hope you're doing well.

 

I totally agree the Drs have no idea about how many of us need to taper much more slowly than they recommend.  I had the exact same experience about taking Drs advice and I totally crashed.  I remember walking home from the Drs surgery sobbing with tears because they told me I need to stay on Citalopram as their (too fast) taper caused such dreadful symptoms.  Much wiser now but at the time I was in turmoil.

 

x

15 hours ago, Chippy said:

Good luck with the drop. Hope it goes well. I’d say listen to your body it will tell you. A smidge drop is ok if that’s what you’re comfortable with. These lower doses is often where its the hardest. Slow and steady wins the race. 

 

Thanks Chippy!  I absolutely agree, slow and steady...and listen to my body (and deffo NOT my head!).  I will certainly take things slowly.  I just think I'm at a new stage in that the squeezies never seem to go away, whereas they used to.  Perhaps it's just how it is at these lower doses, or I'm not leaving enough time between drops, I just don't know.  I thought I'd try and see if it's just a case of enduring the constant squeezies or maybe I really do need to hold for 6 months or so between drops.  If I do the latter, I'll be on some sort of dose when I pop my clogs which seems sad!

 

I've learned over the years how far to push things and I do seem to be very sensitive to dose changes so I'm taking a very careful approach and am at peace with the long haul.....yet still.....I just want to be done with all this **** 

 

Onwards and upwards we go 😊

Hi Mamgu, just saw your post whilst browsing the site. I think you are doing the right thing by going slow, even if it means longer holds and even slighter reductions. I came off at 0.3 mg citalopram and a year later I am still getting the "squeezies" plus other weird symptoms. Mark Horowitz has a youtube video on hyperbolic tapering and he uses his graph showing the effects the lower drops have on the brain. Maybe it's on here somewhere but If you go on the SA forum, Jane318 (moderator) replied to a post from jessdav92 yesterday and a link to this youtube video is there. I cannot attach it on the device I am using, Jane's reply is worth a read in any case. I used to get notices on my emails when you posted on the SA forum but I don't know how to do that on this forum . I'll have to do some reading. I hope your symptoms will ease soon. Take care xx

Hi Mamgu, just wanted to get back to you. I do still have some quivering in my chest, some heart palpitations,  tinnitus is still there, stiff muscles and joints but that's to be expected,  because as we go through this process anxiousness equals tensions  and tight muscles.  Every once in a while I get a intrusive thought, from time to time, but those are rare,  but none the less I  jut let them run the course and fade in the background.  A couple days a week I'll still experience the cortisol morning's and they seem to show up at 3:00am without fail. Headaches have gotten way better. I do still work full time, and have through this whole process,  deffinatly not easy, I prayed to God to help me get through every day and to guide me and carry me at my weakest times,  but I  tell my self that that one less day I  have to fight and 1 more day behind me. I try to eat very clean, I  don't  take any vitamins,  not that I haven't tried, my system is just to sensitive to all of them.              You are doing wonderful,  and take it slow, your system will let you when to make another drop. The lower the slower.    Stay strong.     Bernadette 

10 hours ago, Mamgu said:

 

Thanks Chippy!  I absolutely agree, slow and steady...and listen to my body (and deffo NOT my head!).  I will certainly take things slowly.  I just think I'm at a new stage in that the squeezies never seem to go away, whereas they used to.  Perhaps it's just how it is at these lower doses, or I'm not leaving enough time between drops, I just don't know.  I thought I'd try and see if it's just a case of enduring the constant squeezies or maybe I really do need to hold for 6 months or so between drops.  If I do the latter, I'll be on some sort of dose when I pop my clogs which seems sad!

 

I've learned over the years how far to push things and I do seem to be very sensitive to dose changes so I'm taking a very careful approach and am at peace with the long haul.....yet still.....I just want to be done with all this **** 

 

Onwards and upwards we go 😊

Best to rate the symptoms and trust your instincts. It they are low 1-3 then maybe that’s ok. If they are too high it might be best to hold for a bit till this settles. You know you.

 

Youre doing great. Not an easy ride. 

7 hours ago, Sonia2 said:

I used to get notices on my emails when you posted on the SA forum but I don't know how to do that on this forum .

Hey Sonia. We use the same software as Sa. Go to the bell button. Click on the notification settings. You can opt for email notifications for a variety of things in there. 
 

Chippy

Thanks for your help Chippy, I think I've sorted that now.😊

5 minutes ago, Sonia2 said:

Thanks for your help Chippy, I think I've sorted that now.😊

My pleasure Glad you've got it sorted!  🙂 

Yes, thanks Chippy, received your post in my emails.🙂

@Mamgu Hi, just dropping by to see how you are doing. Hope all Is well.🙂

Much the same really Sonia.  There's always some sort of symptom or another.  Had a couple of bouts of pure rage which frightens me as I'm not really an angry person; it's totally down to withdrawal, I'm convinced.  I've had a lot of pressure this year already so that's not helping, my dog is quite poorly, he has kidney damage and needs to get up a few times in the night to pee.  I don't think either of us are getting any quality sleep of late! 

 

I don't seem to have the concentration I used to and this is impacting work, Still, I've managed to not take a sick day yet - thank goodness for home-working!

 

However, spring is a-springing and I'm looking forward to some warmer and longer days 🙂