46 minutes ago, Sophia said:

I feel like I barely improve guys. Still no emotional range, severe dry eyes and excruciating head symptoms everyday.

7 weeks I took it only….. thought I would feel way more healed by now. I think it’s really damage to the brain.

Just had a family gathering, I can’t connect anymore through feelings of nostalgia or empathy. People cried and I was completely blank. Its so hard because I know who I was before this injury.

I want to start a family and stuff in 1–2 y but I never can have a baby if I can’t feel any emotion or empathy ?

I feel like a psychopath honestly. Even the most disturbing news articles or horror movies don’t evoke any reaction.

I don’t see how I can even heal from this. I notice I feel more and more pessimistic. The way I feel feels so incredibly chemically and wrong in every way. I don’t feel human anymore.

Sophia, your system is in the process of figuring out where everything needs to be, trust me my friend you will get through this, just part of the process. Your doing so good and you will get there, time is our friend. At just the right time and moment your body will heal. I've had to give myself many pep talks and remind myself, I am stronger than this, this will not beat me it's just part of Wd. Stay strong my friend

It is not damage to the brain. Your brain is working in a completely different mode and slowly it gets back to the old mode. But the steps are super small. Trust me it will and will get better. But it will take a long time.

On 7/16/2026 at 8:53 AM, Sophia said:

Hi all,

So it’s been exactly 9,5 months since my last dose and I still feel so very altered. Idk how to keep hope that this will ever get better. It’s like my brain is stuck in a very malfunctioning state and this state is quite static. I don’t have moments were I feel normal. My biggest concerns are the severe blunting, anhedonia and head symptoms I experience on a daily basis. I used to be quite sensitive and intuitive and it’s like my entire inner world is dead and my response system as well. It’s like the pathway to my emotions in my brain is deleted. I feel NOTHING. It’s out of this world.

I try to push forward everyday but I feel 90% of the time the same and my system feels very stuck. I know I repeat myself a lot.. but I think what I experience isn’t withdrawal. It genuinely feels like the meds were neurotoxic to my brain and I have a chemical injury to my receptors.

I made a list of my symptoms. If anyone recovered from them, I am pleased to know 🥹:

1. Head pressure / injured / sore brain / swollen brain / feeling like something is stuck in my brain / numb brain /concrete block in frontal lobe .

My head symptoms are excruciating and very painful on most days. Makes me unfunctional.

2. Hollow brain / airy / empty brain. Like parts are missing.

—> I have 1 + 2 at the same time but at different parts of my brain

3. Emotional blunting (even negative emotions like, anxiety, shame fear, sadness, nervousness, just blank robot)

4. Can’t feel effects of caffeine/ alcohol, just numbness (I do drink coffee occasionally but avoid alcohol now). Numb brain blocks all signals.

5. Prickling in toes (little better)

6. Face presse / eye pressure /nose pressure. Also my face feels hollow / like air. Hard to explain.

7. Tingling in forehead, nose, front teeth (this or the pressure alter each other) 

8. Severely dry eyes + NO tear reflex from wind, sneezing, yawning, wind, etc. Tears seem dead, sand in eyes feeling 24/7.

9. Blank mind / reduced inner monologue (windows and waves in this symptom). But never fully normal. Think this is linked to the defect in my limbic system.

10. Cognitive issues (memory is very poor, less visualization and complex thinking, but I have windows and waves in this symptom so the severity changes)

11. Can’t feel tired / sleepy / drowsy in head. Only eyes or body get tired. Head has this unnatural fake clear feeling in the background 24/7.

12.Low to no libido. No sexual thoughts or desire. Thoughts aren’t translated to arousal.

13. Blunted hunger + saturation signals. Eating nothing or 3 pizzas… doesn’t make me feel any different. Too numb. —> Somedays it’s a little bit better but still far from normal.

14. Overall feeling of being drugged and waiting to get sober.

15. Dilated pupils (like being in drug$), I didn’t have this in 1 month, but yesterday it was back and I was in a bad bad wave.

    what has improved:
    - Numb skin were it felt like I wore a suit (normal again)
    - Thirst (almost normal again, maybe even more thirsty)

    - Reduced sweat (I barely sweat but sweat normal again)
    -Muscles feel also more normal again (felt really lightweighted and couldn’t feel them well)

    - sometimes had slightly burning skin.

    I feel like my brain is stuck in a very malfunctioning calibration and it needs a “shock” to wake up and to reorganize into a different state.

    I thought I would have healed more by now but I feel like I maybe only improved 5-10%. It’s a hard pill to swallow. It feels really permanent.

Can really use some hope. @Luke you mentioned before that you know people (also outside of this forum) who recovered from complete emotional anesthesia and anhedonia. Do you know if there is any chance they are open to contact? 🙈

I feel like I’ve already died. Only walking corpse 90% of the time.

Hi, I seen this topic and thought I'd reply is I was only on flux for a short time like you with lasting side effects/withdrawal. Its mostly just muscle twitching and pain for me after only being on it for 5 week.

That was nearly 5 months ago and they still persist.

@Billiam Does it feel a little bit more intense just on one side of the body?

9 minutes ago, The Dust said:

@Billiam Does it feel a little bit more intense just on one side of the body?

It feels more intense around one side of my face&head. Its quite even on the body just now but it'll probably change again next week

5 minutes ago, Billiam said:

It feels more intense around one side of my face&head. Its quite even on the body just now but it'll probably change again next week

Yeah, the same. On one side of my face. And on one side of my torso. Like a vibrating guitar string. But it appears together or separately with tensions and cramping and so on. But the strange thing is that I didn't got in on Fluoxetine like you, nor on other drugs, nor after quitting. I got this this year.

Edited August 2Aug 2 by The Dust

16 hours ago, Sophia said:

I feel like I barely improve guys. Still no emotional range, severe dry eyes and excruciating head symptoms everyday.

7 weeks I took it only….. thought I would feel way more healed by now. I think it’s really damage to the brain.

Just had a family gathering, I can’t connect anymore through feelings of nostalgia or empathy. People cried and I was completely blank. Its so hard because I know who I was before this injury.

I want to start a family and stuff in 1–2 y but I never can have a baby if I can’t feel any emotion or empathy ?

I feel like a psychopath honestly. Even the most disturbing news articles or horror movies don’t evoke any reaction.

I don’t see how I can even heal from this. I notice I feel more and more pessimistic. The way I feel feels so incredibly chemically and wrong in every way. I don’t feel human anymore.

I am so sorry Sophia. It is really is awful how much harm can come from taking these drugs. The good news is I truly believe we will all improve over time. I know how much it does not feel like it right now, but you will. Not even a year off yet. Fast forward another year or so this could look very different indeed. We don't know how long it will take for you to feel better, but we do see people do get better, believe that in your heart and accept this situation as best you can. I think both are important steps to moving forwards.

@Sophia It is not likely to be permanent damage, you've had glimmers and small windows of emotion and feelings. Unfortunately it's common to not have significantly improved in the first year but those are the small, early signs things will eventually change.

Thanks again all for the support, really appreciate it ❤️ @Bernadette @Chippy @Luke @Samuel

It all feels quite static unfortunately. Its also hard to plan ahead. I am trying to get back to work (I am still on partial sick leave) but everytime I feel ready to expand my hours I get smashed with insane head symptoms again that can last weeks. Then it feels impossible to work or think.

I find hard to accept this will take a very long time. I think if I’ll turn a significant corner and my head don’t hurt so severely anymore on a daily basis, it’s easier for me to trust the process.

God, I can’t believe these medications are legal. Unbelievable… 🙈

Edited August 3Aug 3 by Sophia

I was totally unable to work for 2 years.

It then took most of another year to build up from 2x 2h days to working normal hours. I still do a role below my capabilities.

Limited or no real progress at less than a year off is sadly not uncommon for those who have been quite badly harmed. However, the positive part of that is that it's still likely you will improve and begin to heal, it will probably just take more time.

Do you guys ever feel like you have gotten windows from interventions (supplement, certain foods, substances).

I know this is not recommended at all but I had such bad brain fog for weeks I tried 1 nicotine gum as I read some people find relief in it with anhedonia as well. I noticed more emotional range and sensations after taking it. I even got my hunger cues back and my interoception improved massively. I also felt anxious but it was even welcome after being in this complete blank void for 99% of the time. My blank mind even resolved and I got thoughts and opinions again.

A few months ago I got windows from a tiny bit of alcohol. One night I took 2 sips to taste a champagne and I could cry more easily that night and the day after. I also took 1 glass of wine during that period and same thing.

Also have gotten windows when I just started taking a gut supplement.

It’s so weird because everytime I got a real good window.. I did something that day or day before. One day I even got a window after I ate a lot of garlic.

I feel like my brain is constantly weirdly calibrated in a malfunctioning (pssd) state and sometimes I can disrupt it by these types of interventions.

I really wanna heal naturally and I don’t drink anymore or use a lot of supplements (only some vitD, magnesium, omega3 and probiotics), but I do worry a bit I won’t feel better without interventions.

It’s been 24hr since the nicotine gum and I still have not gotten my blank mind back. I feel more connected to my body and signals and have regained my hunger cues (they are so severely blunted). Its like the blanket could lift a bit…

Any thoughts of experiences??

Do you guys sometimes take stuff to help get windows ?

Edited August 5Aug 5 by Sophia

Maybe I can reply about nicotine.

I started smoking tobacco. Organic tobacco. At some point I felt sooo sick because of that smoke and i quitted it overnight. I stared because of constipation and the things is that nicotine immediately relaxed my abdominal pressure and my gut was able to be emptied anytime i wanted. But tobacco is tobacco, nicotine is nicotine. I can confirm that nicotine gave you some fake optimistic and well-being feeling and it becomes easier to focus for a shorter while. Now, I think if you help yourself with nicotine, I recommend safer products, like you already did, because I can say, based on theory my experience that regular cigarette is a real rat poison. You rather use chew gums, or if you want to smoke, choose pure organic tobacco.

In general that nicotine is interesting, because i read that a lot of people are using it as anti-akathisia substance. Dr. David Healy also reported that he wasn't able to find any useful drug for his patient with serious OCD, and later he solved this problem again by staring smoking again haha!

One day I even got a window after I ate a lot of garlic.

Based on theory, it could be endorphin story. As you know, spicy food is supposed to be addictive because of that, because your brain "thinks" that you are burning and it release endomorphine to calm you down. For myself I can say that strong spicy ginger tea makes me somehow awake and refreshed for a short while. But this it, again, has also effect into stomach and into small intestine. It's prokinetic- I can really feel my stomach moving, making my spasm relaxed, i start burping and hiccuping and it start producing noises.

So in general, yes, you can help yourself by spicy foods like garlic and it's pretty safety. Whatever you like. Horseradish?

Also have gotten windows when I just started taking a gut supplement.

@Sophia , I am curious witch gut supplement you took? I tried textbook combination oregano oil+berberine. These two together were so sedative that made me breathing so slowly that everything became a bit scary but, at the same time, it was some kind of relief being into "I don't give a shit state". It was similar to alcohol, somehow. Now a few times I tried alcohol and everything was just shut down, didn't like at all.

Antispasmotic herbs are a separate category. Ginger is more prokinetic than antispasmodic, but if we jump to spice like cumin, caraway, anis, nutmeg, fennel, these thing relaxed smooth muscles of GI tract. In my case case, I can say this effect is felt if I use a little bit more of that in food, it makes me calmed down and I focus a bit easier and my tension in my gut becomes more bearable.

I feel like my brain is constantly weirdly calibrated in a malfunctioning (pssd) state and sometimes I can disrupt it by these types of interventions.

What want to say is that, every effect is not just because of the impact on CNS, but also can have an impact by altering GI tract behavior. People are getting high by nutmeg, but pouring a little bit more into food and seeing some effect probably mean effect on GI tract.

Or caffeine. At this point I rely on coffee and it force me to shit 20 minutes after drinking. It helps me to force myself to do some basic things. And it has some effect on mood.

I forgot to mention cocoa or dark chocolate. It is also helpful, similar to coffee, but it has more "happy" effect compared to coffee and less stimulative, even though his active ingredient theobromine is similar to caffeine

But in general, I can't say, like you, that I get a window by taking anything. Everything just makes the things easier to survive. Nothing made me crying again. But on the other hand, it seems intuitive that someone like you can find something to be helpful for this and to have a window.

When it comes to supplements, I will leave that discussion to people who have experimented with more of them. I haven’t tried many myself, and the ones I did try didn’t turn out to be effective.

Edited August 5Aug 5 by The Dust

@The Dust

It was nicotine from a chewing gum, not from a cigarette or vape.

Both nicotine and garlic work on acetylcholine, which makes me wonder if that is the underlying thing that made me feel better.

The gut supplement is tributyrin.

I won’t mess around with nicotine anymore I think. Eventho it brought things online, I also felt stressed and had heart palpitations.

@Sophia I am still confused where actually are problems inside GI tract. I checked what tributyrin is. It is butyrate, short-chain fatty acid normally produced by healthy gut microbiota , like theory is saying and it is supposed to be good for mucus layer preventing leaky gut, antiinflammatory and so on and so on...

Now, I have try to manipulate inside my gut this way and I am curious what did you experienced? Were you less constipated, were your stools more normal? And mentally, what actually happened?

I knew that you mentioned gums. Now you know nicotine's effect and based of that I just advised you BTW to rely on safer sources of nicotine, if you hypothetical want try it once again. I am not proud of my nicotine phase and I can agree about its over-stimulative effects at higher doses.

Weird day today… as 1 year ago exactly I made the mistake to swallow that first pill. Biggest mistake of my life.

As of the progress… I notice I have a bit better sleep the past 2-3 weeks. It feels a bit more natural and I have more dreams and deeper sleep. Also waking up I feel a bit more naturally tired. Besides I notice I have days were my concentration is a bit better and I work tasks are a bit more easy to perform than before.

My head symptoms are still bad as ever and everyday is a struggle with this. At this point I am even debating to get a referral to a neurologist, just to check things out (even though I do think it will be completely pointless). Every day I still feel pressure, concrete block in my head, open nerves feelings, bruised feelings, parts feeling missing, parts feeling like air. On bad days it even expands to my entire face (nose and eyes). I really think it has to do with the trigeminal nerve.

Tomorrow I’ll see an eye doctor again for my dry eyes. I have seen tiiinnnnyyy improvements in this, as I now wake up more often to a little eye discharge. But still my tear reflex is dead and eyes feel like a desert (especially upon waking). I wondered if anyone has gotten any problems from the eye drops they use to dilate your pupils to examine the eye?

My emotions have improved maybe 5% tops. I am still very blunted and the brain fog and head pressure seem to block all the emotional signals in my head. Still more often than not I feel like I need to cry but my eyes don’t even produce any tears or I get 1 mini tear and it stops. This emotional blunting is still eating my alive. I want to grief, be sad and release things but 90% of the time I simply can’t. It’s a really weird state to be in. I feel like I still take the med everyday or am on a heavy mood stabilizer.

I try to work on my acceptance and urges to search for reassurance.

I really hope I see improvements in my head pains and emotional range the next 6 months. I am mostly worried about that.

@Sophia , as to your previous post of working while in WD, I think everyone is different and what the body allows them to do in Wd. I myself have worked the entire time, and trust me when I say it has been brutal on me. I go to work because I have to and push myself to the limit, has it helped in ways, yes, but has been challenging the whole way, but it had gotten better. It kept my mind from ruminating a majority of the time and distracted. But some days barely holding on. I test my limits and sometimes it kicks me in the butt, and says " I told you not to do that". But then again I get my stubbornness from my late father. Right now I've had to take 2 days off work for FMLA , my system is being quite testy with me and have learned over time in this journey to listen to it and give it the time it needs to regulate itself. Buy the way, congratulations on your 1 year off. It is truly a milestone during this process. As far as the head pressure, It was intense up till my 14th month and started to decrease significantly. I do get headaches more than I'd like, but I think that's from me pushing myself to the limit, I guess you could say I'm making up for lost time that this medication took away from me. I hope the eye Doctor has something to help with the dry eyes. As far as crying, not a real problem with this on my end, usually happens when I have overdone it. They say crying helps release some endorphins but I forgot what ther called. I noticed after I have a good cry fest I actually feel better. It's good to hear your sleeping a bit better and the dreams are more vivid, it all a excellent sign in the healing process. Hugs for now my friend xxx Bernadette

Thanks for the update @Sophia. I'm glad you've seen small improvements in some areas, that's a great sign even though I know it feels painfully slow. I know it's pretty common at 1 year out for improvement to still be pretty limited. You'll get your old self back, just stay in the fight 💜.

I think the mild improvements in some symptoms is a positive, especially better sleep is good. This can be very, very non-linear. Mine gets a bit better, then a bit worse, and slowly over time it has improved on average this way.

I also hope that you begin to get larger, clearer improvements in the coming months. At the time you've been off, this is still absolutely possible and there is still hope.

18 hours ago, Bernadette said:

As far as the head pressure, It was intense up till my 14th month and started to decrease significantly

Really hoping it will get less and less! Would you also describe it as a very unnatural feeling in your head? Besides the pressure my brain feels very unnatural. It’s so hard to explain but it feels “too clear”. No softness, no sleepiness, no drowsiness and I can’t feel any emotions or feelings in my head anymore. Its completely numb and static with all these chemical and scary sensations.

@Sophia I am glad to see you can note improvements in your 1 year update. Great news. I empathise with the head issues as you know. By far my worst symptom at this point I think. I have seen some improvement this year, but it can be tough for me still. I think as time passes all this will get better for us both. xxxxx

3 minutes ago, Chippy said:

@Sophia I am glad to see you can note improvements in your 1 year update. Great news. I empathise with the head issues as you know. By far my worst symptom at this point I think. I have seen some improvement this year, but it can be tough for me still. I think as time passes all this will get better for us both. xxxxx

Yeah for me, its so hard to ignore or "forget" !

Do you mind me asking if you have moments now were your head symptoms are completely gone and you brain feels normal? Or are they (almost) always present?

2 minutes ago, Sophia said:

Do you mind me asking if you have moments now were your head symptoms are completely gone and you brain feels normal? Or are they (almost) always present?

I have had some times where they are very very low is severity, never gone but very manageable.

7 hours ago, Sophia said:

Really hoping it will get less and less! Would you also describe it as a very unnatural feeling in your head? Besides the pressure my brain feels very unnatural. It’s so hard to explain but it feels “too clear”. No softness, no sleepiness, no drowsiness and I can’t feel any emotions or feelings in my head anymore. Its completely numb and static with all these chemical and scary sensations.

@Sophia I did experience what you described, but it does go away in time. I've had several shifts in my symptoms over the past 7 months, 1 in January where the head pressure reduced significantly, where it was barley noticable, and when I'm under a lot of stress from work it increases to noticeable but then calms to just a nusens, at that time also I found myself not waking up in fight or flight mode, the mornings are just but a brief cortisol morning, andsubside in in a hour after waking , this was at my 15 and a half month, around my 20 month mark I experienced another shift in my system where my day was not felt by anxiousness all day, but of small amounts of unease and I mean my tummy had a bit of quivers, very slight pressure would come and go throughout the day but nothing constant. And just recently had a shift just a few days before 21months, where I started to feel pure joy and happiness, the kind I didn't have to take to just make it through the day. There are other things that pop up here and there but have now become a nusens and easily ignored,but pass quickly. So yes it gets better with time patience, and a few coping techniques learned along the way. Hugs for now my friend, hope your day inproves xxxxx Bernadette

Wauw that sounds awesome!! Thanks @Bernadette for your elaborate and kind reply 😘❤️

1 hour ago, Sophia said:

Wauw that sounds awesome!! Thanks @Bernadette for your elaborate and kind reply 😘❤️

@Sophia you're more than welcomed, I hope it helps