Hey everyone,

So I've been on a 10 week hold and it's been just a lot of waves and windows still, I have had a week before the last seven days which was really good and I thought I was improving but then I've gone back into a wave again the last week. I really feel that there's no sequence to this. I'm not sure why these waves happen. I want to continue taping but I need stability first I just feel really disheartened how people can keep tapering and I feel like I'm stuck. This drug is a beast.

I'm still going to work every day and managing my family, but it's just a constant struggle and I never know what I'm gonna wake up to.. I wish I woke up in this nightmare was over

8 minutes ago, cheeky said:

Hey everyone,

So I've been on a 10 week hold and it's been just a lot of waves and windows still, I have had a week before the last seven days which was really good and I thought I was improving but then I've gone back into a wave again the last week. I really feel that there's no sequence to this. I'm not sure why these waves happen. I want to continue taping but I need stability first I just feel really disheartened how people can keep tapering and I feel like I'm stuck. This drug is a beast.

I'm still going to work every day and managing my family, but it's just a constant struggle and I never know what I'm gonna wake up to.. I wish I woke up in this nightmare was over

Hang in there @cheeky . Both of my long holds have been more than 3 months. It's nice to have the feeling of calm when stability returns

1 hour ago, Catbird said:

Hang in there @cheeky . Both of my long holds have been more than 3 months. It's nice to have the feeling of calm when stability returns

@Catbird I just hate this and I always feel like I won't stablize . The less the drug in my system the harder the withdrawal is hitting

13 minutes ago, cheeky said:

@Catbird I just hate this and I always feel like I won't stablize . The less the drug in my system the harder the withdrawal is hitting

@cheeky Last time I held it was awful and felt never ending. The culmination of pain and spasms was awful. I'd had 9 weeks of torturous pain, then all of a sudden it was gone. I held for some time after that as I'd told myself "I don't think I'll restart the taper, I want to live life". That was a few months ago now. Last week I decided I'd decrease by 0.008 mcg. I'm only just noticing the WD - hyperarousal and palpitations. Seems like we're on the steepest part of the curve. For me it's almost vertical.

You don't have to resume any time soon. It could be an opportunity to have a well deserved break. I know Paxil is probably the worst AD to taper, so take it slowly and be extra kind to yourself. All of the WD effects can be accumulating in the background then one day they all need to come out - tread lightly.

I know it's a horrible place to be, kinda half on half off and not knowing what to do next. Keep holding — it will eventually stabilise.

2 hours ago, Catbird said:

@cheeky Last time I held it was awful and felt never ending. The culmination of pain and spasms was awful. I'd had 9 weeks of torturous pain, then all of a sudden it was gone. I held for some time after that as I'd told myself "I don't think I'll restart the taper, I want to live life". That was a few months ago now. Last week I decided I'd decrease by 0.008 mcg. I'm only just noticing the WD - hyperarousal and palpitations. Seems like we're on the steepest part of the curve. For me it's almost vertical.

You don't have to resume any time soon. It could be an opportunity to have a well deserved break. I know Paxil is probably the worst AD to taper, so take it slowly and be extra kind to yourself. All of the WD effects can be accumulating in the background then one day they all need to come out - tread lightly.

I know it's a horrible place to be, kinda half on half off and not knowing what to do next. Keep holding — it will eventually stabilise.

Honestly, your message has brought tears to my eyes knowing that someone understands , it's is so validating. . I didn't realise this is the steepest part of the curve.

Hey @cheeky Sorry about the fluctuations. The good news is you are clearly doing the right thing. Periods of feeling is better is a GREAT sign! I thinking holding out for a decent period of feeling better and basically more stable makes total sense. Slow is the new fast!

I sent you a DM with RO information on Paxil, gives you an idea of how that looks which maybe will help some.....

14 hours ago, cheeky said:

not sure why these waves happen

They show you are healing despite feeling the absolute opposite. It is your body recalibrating to undo the damage. I heard it likened to the Rubik's cube. When one part is adjusted, other parts fall out of alignment.

14 hours ago, cheeky said:

till going to work every day and managing my family, but it's just a constant struggle

You need to be so proud of yourself. Never forget that.

10 hours ago, cheeky said:

steepest part of the curve.

Definitely...we can only buckle up for the ride. Every time I drop, it's the same as waiting in line for the rollercoaster. You are excited, you want to do this thing. Then you get on the ride and as you climb the first hill, you start thinking...why did I do this....and then you pray.

As mentioned...taking our time, not rushing, listening to our bodies. Brassmonkey said it is better after 2 mg....I sure hope so! ❤️🙏

Edited October 1Oct 1 by LostinCanada

6 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

They show you are healing despite feeling the absolute opposite. It is your body recalibrating to undo the damage. I heard it likened to the Rubik's cube. When one part is adjusted, other parts fall out of alignment.

You need to be so proud of yourself. Never forget that.

Definitely...we can only buckle up for the ride. Every time I drop, it's the same as waiting in line for the rollercoaster. You are excited, you want to do this thing. Then you get on the ride and as you climb the first hill, you start thinking...why did I do this....and then you pray.

As mentioned...taking our time, not rushing, listening to our bodies. Brassmonkey said it is better after 2 mg....I sure hope so! ❤️🙏

@LostinCanada when you explain things and your words really give me the strength to continue this fight . Thank you for being here for me . Love you ❤️

10 hours ago, cheeky said:

@LostinCanada when you explain things and your words really give me the strength to continue this fight . Thank you for being here for me . Love you ❤️

She is good isnt she!? 😀 Mumma Lic

I am curious who your manufacturer is for seroquel? Carmie uses Syquet and her homemade liquid is fine for a week in the fridge.

20 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

I am curious who your manufacturer is for seroquel? Carmie uses Syquet and her homemade liquid is fine for a week in the fridge.

The manufacture I use is AstraZeneca . I

Really miss carmie, shes not on this forum is she .

Can I ask you a question if I'm on 6.2 mg of Seroquel and I'll be on that until I finish my Paxil taper , do you think I should get my husband to make me capsules of that so it's easier for me to take every night . It will also save me money on the long term .

7 minutes ago, cheeky said:

Really miss carmie, shes not on this forum is she

She isn't in any forum...she is under 1.5 mg. Doing well with a micro liquid taper.

8 minutes ago, cheeky said:

, do you think I should get my husband to make me capsules of that so it's easier for me to take every night . It will also save me money on the long term .

I know you have a great scale....it might be a bit bumpy changing back just because I think the homemade liquid absorbs a bit faster and maybe a bit more of the drug. Are you making your own liquid everyday? The other option is to cut the pill and weigh it and make the liquid from a weighed piece.

1 hour ago, LostinCanada said:

She isn't in any forum...she is under 1.5 mg. Doing well with a micro liquid taper.

I know you have a great scale....it might be a bit bumpy changing back just because I think the homemade liquid absorbs a bit faster and maybe a bit more of the drug. Are you making your own liquid everyday? The other option is to cut the pill and weigh it and make the liquid from a weighed piece.

I'm currently making my own liquid with the Paxil daily . I put 20mg tablet into 40 ml of water . I consume 15ml and throw the rest.

With the seroquel I put 25mg tablet into 50ml of water . I consume 13ml and throw the rest .

So are you saying it's different when you add the water to the seroquel becouse of the absorption .

What if I grind up 10 tablets make you a weeks worth of capsules and when I take it put it into water ?

31 minutes ago, cheeky said:

So are you saying it's different when you add the water to the seroquel becouse of the absorption .

Yes, the body may absorb it a bit differently. That's why it is suggested to do a slow crossover between pill and liquid or liquid and pill. It's a precaution so there isn't a big upheaval.

3/4 liquid dose- 1/4 dose in pill form for a week then

1/2 liquid dose- 1/2 dose in pill form for a week then

1/4 liquid dose- 3/4 dose in pill form for a week then

All pill form.

If there are any issues just hold longer than a week. No tapering during this time.

33 minutes ago, cheeky said:

What if I grind up 10 tablets make you a weeks worth of capsules and when I take it put it into water ?

That would work fine also.

10 minutes ago, LostinCanada said:

Yes, the body may absorb it a bit differently. That's why it is suggested to do a slow crossover between pill and liquid or liquid and pill. It's a precaution so there isn't a big upheaval.

3/4 liquid dose- 1/4 dose in pill form for a week then

1/2 liquid dose- 1/2 dose in pill form for a week then

1/4 liquid dose- 3/4 dose in pill form for a week then

All pill form.

If there are any issues just hold longer than a week. No tapering during this time.

That would work fine also.

@LostinCanada would you happen to know the size capsules to order ?

48 minutes ago, cheeky said:

@LostinCanada would you happen to know the size capsules to order ?

It depends on how much your powder weighs. I know for my weight of .0450g, a size 1 capsule is more than adequate.

this search says:

Standard empty capsule sizes run from 000 (the largest) to 5 (the smallest), where higher numbers mean smaller capsules. [1]

Capsule Sizes (Smallest to Largest)

• Size 5: Smallest size (approx. 0.13 ml volume), often used for pets or microdosing.

• Size 4: Very small size (approx. 0.21 ml volume).

• Size 3: Small size (approx. 0.30 ml volume).

• Size 2: Medium-small size (approx. 0.37 ml volume).

• Size 1: Medium size (approx. 0.50 ml volume).

• Size 0: Large size, and one of the most popular for supplements (approx. 0.68 ml volume).

• Size 00: Very large size, also heavily used for supplements (approx. 0.91 ml volume).

• Size 000: Jumbo/largest standard size (approx. 1.37 ml volume).

9 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

It depends on how much your powder weighs. I know for my weight of .0450g, a size 1 capsule is more than adequate.

this search says:

Standard empty capsule sizes run from 000 (the largest) to 5 (the smallest), where higher numbers mean smaller capsules. [1]

Capsule Sizes (Smallest to Largest)

• Size 5: Smallest size (approx. 0.13 ml volume), often used for pets or microdosing.

• Size 4: Very small size (approx. 0.21 ml volume).

• Size 3: Small size (approx. 0.30 ml volume).

• Size 2: Medium-small size (approx. 0.37 ml volume).

• Size 1: Medium size (approx. 0.50 ml volume).

• Size 0: Large size, and one of the most popular for supplements (approx. 0.68 ml volume).

• Size 00: Very large size, also heavily used for supplements (approx. 0.91 ml volume).

• Size 000: Jumbo/largest standard size (approx. 1.37 ml volume).

Thanks @LostinCanada I really don't know what to do . I just don't want to rock the boat . My nervous system needs a break .

4 hours ago, cheeky said:

Thanks @LostinCanada I really don't know what to do . I just don't want to rock the boat . My nervous system needs a break .

I think if you can change nothing, that is best to be honest. You have your routine and your body is used to it. ❤️🙏

6 hours ago, LostinCanada said:

I think if you can change nothing, that is best to be honest. You have your routine and your body is used to it. ❤️🙏

Yeah your right . If would just be so much easier to have a pill to Take at 9pm as sometimes I'm not home or I'm out at a function And have to carry this little bottle of water with me . It's crazy the measures we do becouse of these medications

It can be like walking a tightrope @cheeky

On 10/2/2026 at 12:34 AM, LostinCanada said:

They show you are healing despite feeling the absolute opposite. It is your body recalibrating to undo the damage. I heard it likened to the Rubik's cube. When one part is adjusted, other parts fall out of alignment.

You know, although I know this, I seem to need to be reminded every time I go through it!!!

On 10/2/2026 at 12:34 AM, LostinCanada said:

Definitely...we can only buckle up for the ride. Every time I drop, it's the same as waiting in line for the rollercoaster. You are excited, you want to do this thing. Then you get on the ride and as you climb the first hill, you start thinking...why did I do this....and then you pray.

Me too!! My exact feelings!!!

On 10/2/2026 at 12:34 AM, LostinCanada said:

Brassmonkey said it is better after 2 mg....I sure hope so! ❤️🙏

I am sure hoping so.

On 10/2/2026 at 7:30 AM, cheeky said:

when you explain things and your words really give me the strength to continue this fight . Thank you for being here for me . Love you ❤️

Same from me @LostinCanada I always read everything you write. You are a very smart lady 😊

@cheeky

I'm sorry things still haven't stabilised yet. They will. But the waiting is hard. Especially when there are so many more drops to do.

Just remember, even though you are getting bad days, you are functioning through it. I understand that. I never have great days, (or very, very rarely). But I do mostly function.

7 hours ago, cheeky said:

If would just be so much easier to have a pill to Take at 9pm as sometimes I'm not home or I'm out at a function And have to carry this little bottle of water with me . It's crazy the measures we do becouse of these medications

I can totally relate to this. It is very annoying.

We will believe we can get through this. Others have done so, there is no reason that we can't.

Cheering you on Cheeky 🎉

Wombat

PS It was good to hear that Carmie is doing OK. I never joined SA but I did read her whole thread. She sounds like a very lovely lady.

5 hours ago, Wombat said:

You know, although I know this, I seem to need to be reminded every time I go through it!!!

Me too!! My exact feelings!!!

I am sure hoping so.

Same from me @LostinCanada I always read everything you write. You are a very smart lady 😊

@cheeky

I'm sorry things still haven't stabilised yet. They will. But the waiting is hard. Especially when there are so many more drops to do.

Just remember, even though you are getting bad days, you are functioning through it. I understand that. I never have great days, (or very, very rarely). But I do mostly function.

I can totally relate to this. It is very annoying.

We will believe we can get through this. Others have done so, there is no reason that we can't.

Cheering you on Cheeky 🎉

Wombat

PS It was good to hear that Carmie is doing OK. I never joined SA but I did read her whole thread. She sounds like a very lovely lady.

Thanks @Wombat , I do get windows of relief here and there and yes I'm

Looking after a family and working full time .

I think you are doing amazingly!!!! This is not an easy battle. One step at a time.

Wombat

17 hours ago, cheeky said:

so much easier to have a pill to Take at 9pm as sometimes I'm not home or I'm out at a function And have to carry this little bottle of water with me .

This is the main reason I have stuck with the pill...I make 10 days up at a time. For those who have a drug that they can make up.for days into liquid, it would be more convenient for sure. ❤️🙏

Hey Cheeky, just checking in. Hope you are doing ok.

Wombat