Today on the menu:

-DR/DP/4k vision/ anhedonia +++

-chest pressure

-chills

-return of brain zaps. (I had missed them! 🥳)

-I tried to go jogging, no problem; it’s really scary. Unfortunately, I’m not a sportsman at all, and normally I would have been out of breath quickly. There, the body is light as a feather and no breath or shortness of breath felt, it’s really not normal at all.

-my mom said she was going to buy me a solid deodorant, looking through a catalog. I told her it wasn’t worth it, I haven’t sweated at all since the medication (that’s also scary, I have perspiration problems as a normal thing -also related to my anxiety I think-). She tells me that they have been eliminated for a long time. I say to her "OK, you’re right, let it go." (I’m tired guys). She told me that not sweating was bad for the kidneys.

-I fed my cats, my chickens, my turtles. My uncle bought two new chickens while I was away.

-walk at the pond near my home, I picked pretty flowers and I noticed that the ducklings, all behind their mother cane, have grown a lot during my entire absence. They are so cute, with their little feathers! 🩷💛🩵

Edited May 7May 7 by poulette38

8 minutes ago, poulette38 said:

-my mom said she was going to buy me a solid deodorant, looking through a sales catalog. I told her it wasn’t worth it, I haven’t sweated at all since the medication (that’s also scary, I have perspiration problems as a normal thing -also related to my anxiety I think-). She tells me that they have been eliminated for a long time. I say to her "OK, you’re right, let it go." (I’m tired guys). She told me that not sweating was bad for the kidneys.

That's funny--I used to sweat like a coal miner before Paxil, even doing the most minor physical labor That pretty much stopped and now I only perspire if I work hard. It's been years and my kidneys are fine!

4 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

That's funny--I used to sweat like a coal miner before Paxil, even doing the most minor physical labor That pretty much stopped and now I only perspire if I work hard. It's been years and my kidneys are fine!

It’s quite scary... the sweating mechanism is important for the body. Did you never found this like before? 😱

We're always perspiring a little, even in our sleep, so I'm not worried. Actually, I'm kind of glad, because I used to sweat so much it was embarrassing in some situations. Now I think I just sweat like most people.

1 hour ago, poulette38 said:

Yes, I will never forget the joke about the 'fake doctors', really ! 😝.

Always tickles me!

1 hour ago, poulette38 said:

it will never be their fault.

Never!

1 hour ago, poulette38 said:

I just canceled my dental appointments.

I was right to ask because according to the psychiatrist "it was no problem to do it."

Makes sense to me Poulette. If you don’t need it. Bit too much risk imo.

1 hour ago, poulette38 said:

According to the link you sent me, the studies focus on patients taking psychiatric medication, not those who are in withdrawal. But since it’s not urgent according to the dentist (I’ve been like that for years with this latent infection), I prefer to postpone the treatment. I don’t have cavities or toothaches.

I have to admit I’ve not read this but I often find things that effect those on the drugs effects those off and in wd.

1 hour ago, poulette38 said:

This forum is a real oasis in the desert. What a grace for us that it exists. 🥹 You are doing an amazing job. Thanks again to all the moderators and participants. Always a pleasure to communicate with all of us.

I’m so glad it’s a good place for you! We like having you here.

1 hour ago, poulette38 said:

I think that even in a panic attack, I won’t go to see doctors anymore. It’s a natural manifestation of the body, due to psychological conflict. We’re able to handle this alone, actually. Just put our trust in the right place: in our body / mind and intuition, which we have always known; and not in a doctor, whom we do not know and who does not know us either.

I’ve come to the same conclusion tbh. I think most of the time all they have is a pill to offer. Sometimes there is help with an injured foot for example. They can refer to physio and so on, but yes I’ve never been one to visit the gp. I’m not keen to start!

9 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I’m not keen to start!

Of course... never knock at their door if possible and your life will be wonderful. It seems so simple and stupid but not for everyone obviously... some people consult them every 4 mornings for anything and everything... they really have time to waste...

They receive money to prescribe certain medications, I was recently informed. They don’t give a damn about people’s health. Provided that their health goes well and that they have a good pay each month...

9 minutes ago, poulette38 said:

Of course... never knock at their door if possible and your life will be wonderful.

This is what I’m hoping!

Your love (not) of doctors is so funny!

Or else, they worry too much! Every time I see a doctor, it’s more like that in my case. I accidentally injured myself years ago and the doctor asked me if I had a fever. I’m not the type to complain for no reason, so I said no, actually I didn’t feel bad. He took my temperature and I had a slight fever. He started panicking "you have a fever, you lied to me!" I left with antibiotics, completely useless. I had a very bad reaction (I was bent in four with each take and my tongue became black). It got me consultations with a gastroenterologist, and an endoscopy! At the time, I had written in my diary basically "never take any medication again!" But look. A moment of weakness on my part and I fell back into these ways despite myself.

The one who prescribed lexapro also had a moment of panic; he jumped out of his chair. I was just telling him that I felt bad and anxious.

Sounds like you haven’t had a good run with doctors @poulette38!

And why did I take fluoxetine for weeks? Because the doctor yelled at me, saying that I had to take the prescription "as prescribed and not to do my own cooking". While I was explaining to him that I couldn’t handle lexapro. They’re strong, huh? 👏 They really listen to us...

Lexapro is very strong indeed.

I hope someone will shout at him one day. He scared me, so I thought I had to trust him. 😔

2 minutes ago, poulette38 said:

I hope someone will shout at him one day. He scared me, so I thought I had to trust him. 😔

No doctor should yell at a patient for any reason. When in was in WD I saw my doctor all the time and bombarded him with questions but he was always patient with me. That's their job.

7 minutes ago, mstimc60 said:

No doctor should yell at a patient for any reason. When in was in WD I saw my doctor all the time and bombarded him with questions but he was always patient with me. That's their job.

Exactly!

1 hour ago, mstimc60 said:

No doctor should yell at a patient for any reason. When in was in WD I saw my doctor all the time and bombarded him with questions but he was always patient with me. That's their job.

Afterwards, I had changed doctors and when I told him that the other one had prescribed antibiotics for me without any valid reason and that I had just a little fever that day, he told me that it was because he had been afraid for me. Ah, thank you! That does me no good, right!

You were lucky! I only come across nuts. For my family, there was one cold as death, then it was another half-crazy one that was "zen," yoga and so on. She was completely out of it, forgetting appointments or arriving late. . Then others who panicked for no reason, an online psychiatrist who just prescribed something in less than 10 s. another one with which I felt like I was annoying him (the consultation normally takes 20 minutes. With him, it’s always 10 or even 5! And in his voice, I deeply hear his boredom when he says after 4 minutes "well, do you have any other questions?" I almost told him last time: "no, really sorry to have disturbed you!!!!" I’m just asking for someone a bit normal, just average person, and I’ve only met some crazy people of all kinds lol. 🤦‍♀️

And a psychologist -first and last time of my life- who told me that : "shrinks didn’t give advice"! Nice track record, isn't it. I definitely have bad luck, I’m cursed.

Edited May 7May 7 by poulette38

I've read that many doctors decide what's wrong with you within 30 seconds of meeting you. Few doctors take the time to get to know their patients and their needs.

Hi everyone !

I bought coenzyme q 10 (a -very expensive- dietary supplement that is supposed to "repair" mitochondrial damage, an effect confirmed by the pharmacist).

What do you think, please? Is anyone taking this?

I read that we should take it in the morning because in the evening there is a risk of insomnia, headaches, etc... do you think I should start with half a capsule? (That I open)

21 hours ago, poulette38 said:

Hi everyone !

I bought coenzyme q 10 (a -very expensive- dietary supplement that is supposed to "repair" mitochondrial damage, an effect confirmed by the pharmacist).

What do you think, please? Is anyone taking this?

I read that we should take it in the morning because in the evening there is a risk of insomnia, headaches, etc... do you think I should start with half a capsule? (That I open)

Hey Poulette.

Personally I would not take any supplements, I think it is best to trust your body to heal itself with natural diet, these supplements can cause reactions and worsen some.

The red flag is the idea they may cause insomnia!

If you did try to take some please start very very low and watch for a reaction, but if it was me I would not risk it.

The supplement industry is corrupt and there are lots of false promises out there. They are at the end of the day trying to sell you something.

xxxx

@poulette38 I tried coq10 for a while, a long time ago, because I had very severe fatigue.

It didn't do anything, but it also did not cause any noticeable harm. I've never really had reactions to foods etc though.

As with all supplements, IF you want to try them, start small and cautiously.

Equally, you're 7 months off, it's early, you've seen improvements. All you need to do is look after yourself and give it more time for more improvements.

Thank you both @Chippy @Luke for your response. I may take a tiny amount on vacation days and only occasionally.

I’m sorry for not being so present lately. My sadness is infinite and I have withdrawn from the world. In other words, I hide to cry. I hope so much that we will all heal one day, but I can’t help crying when I think back to all the violence endured since autumn 2025: before treatment, during, after, till now. It’s as if the brain remained stuck over this period and that all my past and my future no longer existed. No longer living with the selfish but normal desire to be happy, but surviving only for others, ignoring everything about the future. Anyway. Enough of the lamentations. 😟

Sending some love @poulette38 brighter days ahead for you xxxxx

15 hours ago, poulette38 said:

I’m sorry for not being so present lately. My sadness is infinite and I have withdrawn from the world. In other words, I hide to cry. I hope so much that we will all heal one day, but I can’t help crying when I think back to all the violence endured since autumn 2025: before treatment, during, after, till now. It’s as if the brain remained stuck over this period and that all my past and my future no longer existed. No longer living with the selfish but normal desire to be happy, but surviving only for others, ignoring everything about the future. Anyway. Enough of the lamentations. 😟

I’m sorry to read this @poulette38. We are all here for you when you need us. You will get through this and find happiness again 💜

Hi everyone, a quick update. I'm not in good form at all those days. I can't do anything and I spend all my free time sleeping. I think the heat has something to do with it.

I have a lapse of my voice for the first time in my life. Is it hot/cold from the air conditioning / outside? Or from the icy showers? I no longer have hot water at home and I don’t feel the temperature differences on my body.

At the pharmacy, they gave me a syrup and an essential oil. I wanted to ask you if we can inhale/take essential oils without any risk? Fortunately, I only have two days left to work before having a short break. I feel like I’m getting sick.

The dr/dp is very intense these days, my pupils are constantly dilated and I walk stumbling. I also have very little appetite. My God, I still don’t know how I live alone and work in such a state.

Please pray for me.

Thank you all. 🩷

@poulette38 you might be getting sick, separate to withdrawal syndrome.

I've no idea about essential oils, equally, will they actually do anything productive either? Are they truly "essential"?

It's very common to struggle with extremes of temperature, particularly heat, in withdrawal.

I hope you feel better soon, hopefully with cooler temperatures.

9 minutes ago, Luke said:

@poulette38 you might be getting sick, separate to withdrawal syndrome.

I've no idea about essential oils, equally, will they actually do anything productive either? Are they truly "essential"?

It's very common to struggle with extremes of temperature, particularly heat, in withdrawal.

I hope you feel better soon, hopefully with cooler temperatures.

Thank you, @Luke

I wonder if withdrawal does not indirectly weaken our immune defenses? By depriving us of laughter, especially joy. It is well established that laughter boosts immunity. I think constant crying and chemical depression don’t help. I sometimes try to contain myself, but I can’t help it if tears flow down my cheeks. Until when will this agony last? This bad joke has really gone on long enough. :(

People really don’t understand in what state of mind we are plunged.

I'm asking this about essential oils because it seems to me that they have an indirect effect on the CNS. But yeah, they can be useful for healthy people. Not so "essential", in fact. But natural.

Yes, this heat is overwhelming. Here in Paris, it’s a real ambulance/ fire engine festival from morning to evening. I had a severe heatstroke last summer when I was still in full health, so I imagine that sometime soon an ambulance will take me too.

I hope you have acceptable temperatures? In Paris, it has never been this hot in decades. People say it will calm down, but I don’t believe it.